His mom pressed her palms together and watched him over the tips of her fingers. He could see the wheels spinning behind her eyes and knew she was searching for a way to dodge the questions.
"As much as I wish I had those answers, there's nothing we can do. We don't know much about you before those people abandoned you at the hospital. The best we can do is get DNA testing done on you. That would give us a lot of detail about your genes."
Johnny clamped his lips shut and breathed hard through his nose. It was what he expected, but that didn't mean he liked it. He'd heard her excuses and evasions before, but his gut told him she was hiding a secret about his past. What he couldn't figure out was why or how to break through her defenses. Auntie Alec told him his mom was more stubborn than anyone she'd ever known, but he didn't need to be her flesh and blood son to be just as stubborn.
"I'll get Dad to take me, or Auntie Alec. You can't stop me."
"They won't take you, and it would be a waste of time if they did. There's nothing for anyone to tell you and your file is sealed. I'm sorry, Johnny. I can't imagine how frustrating it must be for you, but there's nothing you can do."
It drove him crazy when she made statements like that, so sure, so final, like she had an answer to everything. He'd learned it was pointless to argue, so he let it go. He’d just have to convince his dad to help him. Dad was an easier mark.
"Fine, but it's not fair. I do want a DNA test. It's better than nothing." His mom nodded and gave him that sad, pity look. "Don't do that."
She shook her head. "Do what?"
"Look at me like I'm a lost puppy. I said it's fine. I'm over it."
"Sorry, didn't know I was."
She started clearing the dishes, and Johnny gritted his teeth. As happy as he was that he'd escaped his wheelchair, there were still things he couldn't do. His friends complained all the time about chores. He'd give anything to do something as simple as loading the dishwasher.
"Don't forget about dinner tomorrow," Grace said as she rinsed his plate.
Johnny groaned. He had forgotten that his mom was having another one of her boring get-togethers. "Who's coming?"
"The Emersons, maybe Mark and Valerie if they can get away from the restaurant.”
So far, the guest list didn’t sound too terrible. It was always fun to see Auntie Alec and Uncle Adam, and Johnny hadn’t seen his stepbrother Mark and his wife Valerie for weeks. They were so slammed with their new restaurant that getting away on a Friday night was impossible. Johnny missed their son Fisher. He was only eleven but loved video games as much as Johnny did. Sophi was nine and a girl, so Johnny never paid much attention to her, not that it mattered. She and the Emerson’s twins were always in a corner giggling over some stupid thing anyway.
“Anyone else?” he asked.
“Just the Nichols."
Johnny perked up. "Is Jessie coming?" Jessie Nichol’s dad worked in the same doctor's office as his mom, but Johnny didn't like Dr. Nichols much. He was always trying to diagnose him, but Jessie was cute and funny. Johnny liked her even though she went to his rival high school.
Grace turned and gave Johnny a half smile. "Would it matter if I said yes?"
"It might, but did you forget tomorrow is the homecoming game? Darnell asked a bunch of us to come over right after school and then go to the game together. I said I'd go."
She crossed her arms and leaned against the counter. Here it comes, he thought.
"First, I don't remember you asking if you could go right after school, and I told you about this dinner last week. Second, you have PT with Tony at three. You can go to Darnell's after we eat."
"Everyone will be leaving for the game by the time I get there. It'll be a waste." The pitch of his voice rose with each word.
"We'll eat early, and you don't have to stay until everyone leaves."
Johnny leaned on his crutches and lifted himself off the chair. "Whatever," he said just loud enough for her to hear.
His mom put her hands on her hips. "I can change my mind and not let you go."
He glanced at her before turning to the door. "Sorry. After dinner's fine."
Grace tossed the extra pillows from the bed into the rocking chair and pulled back the covers. Before she could climb in, Ryan wrapped his arms around her from behind and pulled her close. He moved her hair to the side and brushed his lips on her neck.
"Hi, stranger. I feel like we haven't gone to bed together for weeks," he said.
Grace closed her eyes and smiled. Even after twelve years of marriage, he could get her revved up no matter how stressed out or tired she was. If anything, he was more attractive to her than when they'd met. His dark hair was still thick with only a slight hint of gray, and she could feel his muscles through her nightgown. She was grateful that he worked out to stay fit for his job as a state park ranger. He did it to keep up with the younger rangers, but Grace was more than willing to reap the benefits of his hard work.
"It's only been a few days, and who's fault is that?" she whispered. "You're the night-owl. You know Johnny's still awake?"
Ryan put his nose in her soft, blond hair and took a deep breath. "You smell so good. Trust me, he's not paying any attention to us. We cease to exist once he's in his room."
Talking about Johnny reminded her of their strained conversation earlier, and it killed the mood. "I wish that were true. He and I got into it this afternoon. He asked about his birth parents."
Grace felt Ryan stiffen. "Can’t we talk about it in the morning?"
"I won't be able to stop thinking about it now."
Ryan gently gripped her shoulders and turned her to face him. "Does Johnny have to intrude into every aspect of our relationship? We’re allowed to have our own private world sometimes. "
"Sorry but it's too late for me to shut it off." Grace dropped onto the bed and patted the covers. "Let me get it out. Then, I’ll willingly give you my full attention.”
Ryan gave an exaggerated sigh and dropped onto the bed next to her. "That sounds promising. Make it quick."
"First, he came home late and lied about where he’d been. I’m more determined than ever to put that parental tracker on his phone."
"And I still say it’s a terrible idea. It's too 'helicopter parent,' and it could backfire. He'd be furious if he found out you put the tracker on his phone without telling him. Johnny's a good kid, and we know all his friends' parents. If you're determined to do this, talk to him about it first. Explain why it’s so important to you."
"He'd never agree or understand. Johnny's not a typical kid. We have his medical issues to consider, and that kidnapper Mara is still out there. Maybe she’ll come and try to steal Johnny from us. She thinks he’s her son. I'm installing that tracker in the morning before he wakes up."
"If Mara wanted to come for Johnny, she’d have done it by now. Forget her. You should be telling Johnny all of this, not me. Trust me, you’ll regret it, and I want none of the credit."
"I’ll take full responsibility."
Ryan leaned over and kissed her neck. "Good. Can we go back to where we were?"
“There's more." Ryan groaned but motioned for her to continue.
She recounted her conversation with Johnny about his birth parents. Ryan had badgered her for three years to tell Johnny about his past, but she’d refused. Johnny's life was hard enough without having to worry about old tragedies. All he knew was that he’d been abandoned at the hospital when he was six months old, and Grace had adopted him shortly before she married Ryan. That had satisfied him until recently. She'd hoped for more time to build up the courage to tell him the truth.
"Be prepared for him to ask you to take him to see the records. You can't do it."
"If we tell him what happened, there's no reason he can't see the records. I’m sick of lying to him about this," Ryan said.
"We're not lying. We’re just withholding some of the truth. I'm Johnny’s mother. I'll know when the time is right."
"And I'm his fa
ther. Don't I get a say? I've raised three other children, but you seem to forget that when it fits your agenda."
Grace squeezed his hand. "I’m sorry. That wasn’t fair. Of course, you have an equal say." She studied her hand resting on his arm to avoid meeting his eyes. "Maybe I'm the one who's not ready. I’m afraid telling him will turn his world upside down."
Ryan brushed a lock of her hair off her cheek and tucked it behind her ear. "It will alter his world, but we’ll be there to help him set it right. You don't have to do this alone. The news will be life-altering but imagine what'll happen if he finds out from other sources. That can't happen. I won't let it."
Grace nodded, and Ryan put his arm around her. She snuggled against him and tried to force her body to relax. She forgot at times that she didn't have to face life alone. She’d had to fight the world on her own for so long before Ryan and Johnny came along.
"Be patient a little longer. I'll know when he's ready."
"Don't take too long. Time has more than run out."
Putting the parental tracker on Johnny's phone had gone off without a hitch. It was fortunate that he slept like the dead and hadn't stirred when she slipped his phone off the nightstand. She tested it with the app on her phone before going into the office. It showed that he was a block from the high school, which was where he should have been. She breathed a sigh of relief and went into work.
She tapped on Dr. Carter's door on the way to her office and poked her head inside.
"Morning, Grace. You're early," he said. "Come in."
"Hi, Brad. I'm not earlier than you." She walked to his desk but didn't sit down. She wasn’t planning to stay long.
"Charts," he said and gestured at his monitor. "I'm finishing the report for the Campbell baby. That was a tough one. Reminded me of Johnny in some ways."
Grace nodded. Brad had been Johnny’s doctor from almost the moment he was abandoned in the ER when he was six months old. Brad had taken such good care of Johnny that Grace was thrilled when he’d offered her a job seven years earlier.
"Johnny's what I'm here about,” she said. “He has a half day at school, and I'd like to pick him up and do some fence mending. Things have been rocky between us lately. Would it cause too much trouble here if I left early?"
Brad leaned back in his chair and smiled. "Ah, those wonderful teenage years when our children are swapped out with Martians. It'll get better when he's twenty."
"I'd rather not wait that long," Grace said, without smiling.
"What's going on with you two?"
She crossed her arms and looked at the carpet. "Like you said, typical teenage stuff."
"By all means, take your half-day. Hope it helps. Let me know if you ever want me to talk to him and run some interference. We still have a good rapport."
"Thanks, I might take you up on that."
Grace texted Johnny as soon as she got to her office. I'd like to pick you up after school and go for apple-cider donuts. Is that OK?
Grace drummed her fingers on the desk while she waited for his reply, which was taking far too long.
She jumped when her phone finally dinged. Darnell's giving me and Ty a ride home. Donuts another day?
Grace frowned at her phone. Why was everything a battle with him? But it's our tradition. We usually go so much earlier in the fall. You're going to Darnell's after dinner. See him then.
After another long pause and more drumming: Fine. SYL.
Grace had no idea what SYL meant and wasn't sure if she'd won the skirmish or not. She'd have to wait until she saw Johnny to be sure.
The line of cars in the pick-up lane stretched twice as far as usual, so Grace pulled into the closest handicapped spot. Even though it was sprinkling, it would be much quicker to park and meet Johnny at the school's front entrance. She had a few minutes until the bell rang, so she turned off the engine and sat back to decompress.
She squinted through the trails of rainwater on the windshield at the brilliant fall foliage blazing along the tree-lined street. The dreary, gray sky beyond made the colors even more striking. Autumn was Grace's favorite time of year in Richmond despite all the leaf-raking they had waiting in the front yard. She loved the bonfires in the chilly air, apple-picking, and visits to the pumpkin patch with warm apple-cider donuts.
Johnny had enjoyed all of it right along with her until that year. Having to twist his arm to go for donuts had dampened her spirits, but seeing the beautiful trees buoyed her. Maybe he'd enjoy himself once he bit into the warm, gooey pastry.
"Ditch your mom," Darnell told Johnny as they left their last class. "It's what she gets for treating you like a baby. What do you owe her anyway?"
Everything, Johnny thought. His mom constantly got on his nerves, and he wasn't excited about having to go with her, but she didn't deserve for him to bail. They'd taken their yearly trip for apple-cider donuts for as long as he could remember. He'd always looked forward to it, but it didn't seem like such a big deal that year. He was too old for that stuff. He was going to tell her it would be the last time. She had to start seeing him as fourteen instead of ten.
Darnell and his mom argued all the time, so he never had a problem ditching her. Johnny thought most of it was Darnell's fault. Johnny liked her, but Darnell was a total jerk to her sometimes. As irritated as Johnny got with his mom, things weren't that bad between them. Darnell wouldn't understand why Johnny didn't want to hurt her feelings.
Not wanting to look like a chicken in front of Darnell, he said, "If I bail, she won't let me go to your house after dinner, and I wouldn’t be able to stay long anyway because I have PT. My parents have to pay even if I don't show up. She'd be super pissed if I missed it. She’d probably ground me."
"You wimping out on me?"
They walked out the school's main door, and Darnell turned toward the pickup lane. Johnny was about to follow but stopped when he saw his mom coming up the front steps.
"Too late. There's my mom." For once he was glad to have her as an excuse with Darnell.
Darnell dropped his backpack and crossed his arms. "Tell her you don't want to go with her. She won't say no in front of me."
"I would if I didn't have PT. She'll make a deal out of it. I'll get to your house as fast as I can tonight."
Darnell shook his head at Johnny and picked up his pack. "Whatever."
"Hello, Darnell," his mom said and smiled when she walked up to them.
Darnell glared at her and walked away without a word. She raised her eyebrows but took Johnny's backpack without saying anything. Johnny followed her to the car, glad that she'd shown up in time to stop him from doing something stupid.
Grace found a table by the window with a clear view of the trees. She arranged their donuts, coffee, and hot apple-cider and nodded in satisfaction.
Johnny picked up a donut and said, "When is everyone coming for dinner?"
"Around six."
"Six!" Johnny groaned. "That late? Can't they come earlier?"
"Auntie Alec and Uncle Adam don't get home from work until at least five. They need time to change and get their kids ready. I'm sure you'll survive."
"Might not," he said, just loud enough for her to hear. "I’ll have to wait longer to go to Darnell's." Johnny took a bite of his donut and rolled his eyes in pleasure. "I forgot how good these are."
Grace took a bite, too. "They are. I wish they sold these all year instead of just in the fall."
"You might get sick of them if they did."
"Good point," she said and wiped her hands. "Why did Darnell give me the evil eye when I picked you up?"
Johnny kept his eyes on his donuts. "You know how he is. Moody."
"Felt like more than that."
Johnny shoved half a donut in his mouth and took forever to chew it. He sipped some hot cider and put his mug down slowly. "He's mad cause you wouldn't let me go home with him and you’re making me wait until after dinner. One time he called you Hitler.”
"That's harsh and more than a
little unfair. Is that what you think?"
Johnny looked up from his donut. "Course not."
"This wasn't about being strict. I love our traditions and spending time with you, and we had our dinner planned long before Darnell invited you. We should honor our commitments."
"You sound like Dad. I didn't make the dinner commitment."
"Sometimes I wish you wouldn't spend so much time with Darnell. I like him, but he can be mouthy, and you're mouthier after you've been with him."
The look Johnny gave her made her wish she could suck the words back into her mouth. The last thing she wanted was to alienate him more after he'd agreed to come with her.
Johnny lowered his eyes. "He knows you don't like him. He doesn't like you, either."
"I didn't say I don't like him. I just said he can be mouthy. His mom is one of my best friends, and I don't like the way he treats her. Why don't you hang out with Kyle and Damien anymore? You've been friends since you were three."
"We still hang out at school. Can’t I like Darnell and Ty, too?"
Grace rubbed her forehead. Their conversation had taken a nosedive and it was her fault. "I'm sorry, Johnny. Of course, you can. I'm just taking my frustrations out on you. Should I talk to Darnell's mom? I don't want them thinking I don't like him."
"No, don't do that. It'll only make things worse. I'll say something tonight."
"I appreciate that." Grace slowly chewed her donut to give her time to think of a way to get back on track. She patted his hand and smiled. "Thanks for coming today. I know you'd rather be with your friends. You have no idea how much spending time with you means to me. Will you forgive me?"
Johnny gave a weak smile. "It's fine, Mom. I'm not mad. I'm glad we did this. The donuts were worth missing going to Darnell's."
Grace let out her breath and leaned back. He seemed sincere, and she hoped the goodwill would last for a few more days.
The Complete Arms of Grace Series Page 30
