Bare Pleasures

by Lindsay Evans

  “You ready?” she asked.

  “Yep.”

  Noelle walked at her sister’s side, weaving through the crowd that moved steadily through the street, which was blocked off to vehicular traffic. The palm trees on Collins glowed in rainbow colors, wrapped in coils of light. A small crowd followed a performer balanced on ten-foot-high stilts and trailing rainbow confetti on outstretched arms. Music floated through the streets, one of the Gipsy Kings songs Noelle had been obsessed with in college.

  The music was infectious and Noelle smiled, shimmying her hips to the beat with each step. Maybe she’d suggest a salsa dance number to Milton the next class.

  “I was on my way here when it occurred to me that you might forget we were meeting up,” Margot said.

  Noelle’s smile died. “I actually did forget. But I’m here.”

  “I hope you weren’t too far away.”

  Was that her not-so-subtle way of trying to find out what Noelle was doing when she got the reminder text?

  “I wasn’t too far, only up in North Beach, but I had to go home and change.”

  “Your therapist’s office?” The look on Margot’s face was deliberately unconcerned, but Noelle wasn’t fooled. She never told Margot she was seeing a therapist and she certainly never let her know which one.

  “No. That’s not where I was.” She didn’t want to be a bitch about it, she really didn’t. But did every younger sister have to put up with this kind of stalking from their sibling?

  Noelle blew out a quiet breath of frustration and tried to calm herself down. The Gipsy Kings song faded away and Ottmar Liebert’s lively guitar took its place.

  Margot pointed with the rolled-up program for Art by Night. “The first installation is that way.”

  They followed the trailing group across the brightly lit sidewalk and up the steps into a high-rise hotel with a beautiful Art Deco facade. White marble everywhere, echoing footsteps, soft violin music in the lobby. A woman dressed as a harlequin, her painted smile a little maniacal, guided them toward a black spiral staircase.

  “It’s on the top floor,” Margot said with a look at her stilettos. “Let’s take the elevator instead.”

  In the glass elevator, it was just the two of them. The car slowly rose toward the sky in a whisper of sound, the floor shuddering minutely under Noelle’s feet. She stood on one side of car, thoughts and indecisions floating through her mind but not to her mouth. Margot stood with her purse clasped in her hands and held against her thighs. She seemed deep in thought, her gaze trained on a spot to the right of Noelle’s head. The car came to a stop and the door slid open.

  Noelle stepped out of the car and into another world. “I’m not a child anymore, Margot.”

  Roars, deep-throated and long, met them as they left the elevator. More sounds, high shrieks like Noelle had heard in dinosaur movies and documentaries. She and Margot stood under a high, glassed-in roof, an empty loft space with dozens of people and room enough for dozens more.

  The roof was twenty feet or so above them. But instead of looking out to the dark, starry sky, the glass had been strung with fine lines of light woven together to sketch a skyscape of dragons. The roof was the only source of light in the room.

  Gasps of excitement drifted around the room, breaking through the dragon roars and screeches. It was all very impressive. Noelle walked along a far wall, watching the story unfolding above her of the dragon being born from an egg, small and delicate. In the next panel it was larger but still a graceful and unthreatening shape against the night sky. By the last panel, the dragon was large enough to stretch from wall to wall. Wings spread, fire breathing, tail curled.

  “Beautiful,” Margot said.

  “Yes.” Noelle traced its shape with her eyes. “I wonder if it scares the smaller dragons.”

  “No. It shouldn’t. It’s older, but they’re still the same kind.”

  Noelle looked at Margot. “But does the bigger dragon remember what it’s like to be small? Does it know they are the same?”

  They weren’t talking about the exhibit anymore.

  “Is that how you see me?” Margot asked.

  “Isn’t that how you see yourself?”

  The noise of the other people in the room buffeted Noelle, coming at her from all sides—people talking about the exhibit, wondering out loud what happened to the dragon’s genitals.

  “Can we...can we get out of here?”

  Margot looked briefly around them, a vigilant glance that surprised Noelle. Was she annoyed about possibly leaving the show?

  “Of course we can. Let’s go.”

  They took the elevator down, but this time they had plenty of company, the car full enough to push Noelle into the back of the car with Margot and to force the smell of different colognes and perfumes into her nose. When the elevator stopped, she gently pushed her way out and dragged in a lungful of artificially cold air.

  Margot took her to a coffee shop a few blocks away. It was full of the obviously Art by Night crowd—some in cocktail dresses, hipster beards and self-consciously artsy T-shirts—curving in a long line from the front register. But most were getting their drinks to go. More than half of the cafe’s fifteen or so tables were empty. They found a table and sat down. A girl behind the counter gave them the stink eye, probably for not buying something before sitting down. Noelle and Margot both ignored her.

  “You want something?” Margot asked.

  “Yeah, but I’ll wait until the line is a little shorter.” Noelle waved at the line that was actually getting longer. “This is ridiculous.”

  She leaned into the wooden back of her chair and dropped her purse on the table. She felt suddenly very, very tired.

  “What’s on your mind, Noelle?”

  She wasn’t quick enough to stop a sigh from escaping. “A lot of things.”

  Margot crossed her legs and waited. She looked ready to wait for as long as it took, settling back into her chair and curving her hands around her small handbag. It was an expression Noelle was very familiar with from her youthful days of pouting about something she wasn’t ready to talk about until hours later.

  “I don’t want to be a lawyer.”

  Margot’s eyebrow inched up, but she didn’t say anything. She was still waiting.

  “I don’t want you to stalk me to my shrink’s office. I don’t want you to introduce me to any more men. I don’t want you to keep treating me like a child.” She pressed her lips together. “Or a prisoner.”

  Although she didn’t move, didn’t make a sound, Noelle felt Margot’s sudden tension, a tightening of her whole body. Noelle curled her fingers into her palms, her mouth open to instantly apologize for what she’d said, but she stopped herself just in time. Her hands were sweating. She felt so...ungrateful. But she wanted her freedom too.

  Finally, Margot spoke. “Is that how you feel? Like a prisoner?”

  “Sometimes, yeah. I mean, how else do you expect me to feel when I find out you had someone follow me to my therapist’s office.” Margot must have hired another person to do the work. She couldn’t imagine her sister lurking outside her doctor’s door in her tailored Armani suit and Manolo Blahniks.

  “You’re being...” She stopped and took a breath. “I just want you to be safe, Noelle.”

  “I am safe. What’s going to happen to me in my little paralegal office or even at my therapist’s? My life is pretty boring, Margot. I go to work, I go home, I go out with friends a couple of nights a week and I see you. It’s the very boring life of a typical twenty-six-year-old. You have to remember what that’s like.”

  The corner of Margot’s mouth pulled up. “That was never the life I had at twenty-six.”

  Of course it wasn’t. Noelle swallowed hard and fiddled with the zipper of her purse. Sometimes it was all too easy to for
get that Margot never had the luxury of a normal anything. Their parents disappeared her first year of college, forcing her to suddenly have the complete responsibility of caring for a nine-year-old. She had dropped out of college and gone from being Noelle’s older sister, always there when their parents disappeared on one of their alcohol-fueled binges, to the stern parental figure who helped with homework, who made sure they had someplace to sleep and food to eat, and who stopped smiling.

  “I do remember that, Margot. Sometimes I forget, but it’s not because I’m ungrateful. Because I know I couldn’t have made it this far without you giving up so much.” The guilt twisted in her stomach. “I just... I just don’t want to feel I have to live my life the way you want me to just because you saved me.”

  An emotion twisted Margot’s mouth and she looked almost angry. “I never wanted that from you.” A tear slid down her face in a quick rush, like it was trying to hide itself. Margot dashed it away with a quick finger. “You don’t owe me anything.” She cursed, darted a look toward the front counter where the line had actually gotten shorter. “Excuse me a second.”

  With her head low and turned away from Noelle, she left the table and joined the line at the front of the café.

  By the time Margot made it back with a cup of green tea for Noelle and black coffee for herself, she had herself under control again. Her face was dry and her makeup was flawless. She put the tea in front of Noelle and took a sip from the insulated paper cup that already had a smear of her burgundy lipstick on its edge. She sat down like she was facing an executioner.

  “Is that why you’ve been down the last few months? Because of me keeping you prisoner?”

  “Not completely, but yes.”

  She could feel the shift across the table, the same one she could feel inside herself, of Margot falling into the pit of the past, remembering all the ways their parents had failed them. “All I want to do is live my own life,” Noelle finished.

  For the first time ever, Noelle saw a look of embarrassment on her sister’s face. “Someone said that to me the other day. They said that you’re fine and not as broken and in need of fixing as I think.”

  “You’re telling strangers about my private business now?” Noelle plucked at the sleeve around her to-go teacup.

  “No, no. It’s nothing like that. It’s somebody you know.”

  “Really? Who?”

  Margot waved a hand in dismissal. “No one we have to discuss right now.” She sipped her coffee, methodically putting her painted mouth on the edge of the rim that was already smeared with lipstick. “I’m...sorry about trying to force a different life on you. I really am. I...” She popped the top of the coffee cup on and then off again. “Our parents forced this life on me.” Noelle flinched and drew her hand away from the center of the table, but Margot grabbed it. “I did it to take care of both of us, not just you, so don’t start making that face.” She squeezed Noelle’s hand so hard that it hurt. “I would’ve never chosen this kind of life for myself. I’m always working, and I know too much about human nature to ever trust anyone. So I’m just saying, finally, that I understand what you’ve been trying to tell me all this time. Okay?”

  Noelle squeezed back and then slowly withdrew her hand with a wince. Margot looked ready to apologize, but Noelle replaced her hand on top of her sister’s. “Okay.”

  The smile they shared felt like the first real one between them in years.

  By the time they finished their drinks, Margot was sagging in her chair and looked absolutely drained.

  “Are you okay?”

  “I am.” Margot picked up her empty coffee cup. “But I think I’m ready to call it a night.”

  “All right. Let’s go.” Noelle took the cup from Margot and tossed it in the trash with her own. They left the coffee shop just as another big group from Art by Night flooded in. She walked Margot to her car, a slow and mostly silent journey with her sister’s arm around her waist. At the car, Margot held her in a long hug.

  “Text me when you get home,” Noelle said.

  “Shouldn’t I be the one saying that to you?”

  “We can both look out for each other.” She squeezed Margot’s waist. “So you text me when you get home, and I’ll do it too.”

  Margot’s smile had a touch of sadness at the edges, a wistfulness. “Okay. I’ll text you and we’ll talk tomorrow.”

  Noelle watched the black Benz drive off with a sense of lightness, the pressure she’d been feeling more and more lately floating off her chest. She smiled to herself. Why had it taken so long for her to tell her sister what she was feeling? If it hadn’t been for Lex encouraging her to spill her truth, she would have carried so much unnecessary weight around on her shoulders for who knows how long. She took a deep breath.

  On a whim, she pulled out her phone and texted Lex.

  I talked to my sister about what you said. So much better. She promises a complete 180.

  She hesitated before pressing Send, not sure if they even knew each other well enough to exchange texts that had nothing to do with sex or meeting up for drinks. But less than a minute after she sent the text, his response buzzed in her palm.

  Good. Talking is actually good for more than just foreplay.

  Noelle huffed a soft laugh into the backs of her fingers. Just then, another message came through.

  Lex: I want to see you. Can I come over later?

  I’m actually out. At Art by Night.

  Lex: Miami Beach? Meet me in ten. I’m nearby.

  Noelle hesitated. Was this a booty call at a nearby hotel? From the one and only time they’d slept together, she knew he lived in Little Haiti. That was about ten miles away.

  Lex: I’m at Bello e Bello Pizza on Collins. Come keep me company until more foreplay?

  Yes, yes, yes. Her body answered before her fingers even lifted to type a reply. She made herself sound less desperate though, agreeing to meet him in fifteen minutes which was plenty of time to get through the Art by Night traffic.

  A little over ten minutes later, she walked up to the late-night pizza place that served the best Chicago-style slices in Miami. Lex didn’t see her, but she saw him sitting with four other people at an outdoor table, his legs sprawled in jeans, a plain white T-shirt draped over his wide chest, nodding in agreement as he listened to whatever it was that another man was saying. He looked so serious, so relaxed. So beautiful.

  Her high heels clicked across the sidewalk, keeping time with her heart’s anticipatory beat. Even though it had been less than a day since she had left his bed, she missed him. She allowed herself to feel that eagerness, to want him, not just his touch or his kisses but all parts of him in her life.

  A shiver ran through her. Doubt and excitement both. She must have done something to alert him because suddenly he looked up and a full-on smile took over his face. An army of butterflies invaded her stomach. And she felt an answering grin shape her lips.

  “Hey.”

  “Hey, yourself.”

  Damn. He was gorgeous.

  His smile widened like he knew what she was thinking and highly approved.

  “Are you two just going to stare at each other all night?”

  Noelle blinked and looked away from Lex. “I’m sorry. Hi.” She gave the four other people at the table her best smile.

  “Everyone, this is Noelle,” Lex said and pulled her into his lap. He nuzzled her neck, filling her senses with the crisp smell of his aftershave, slightly worn from the long evening, along a hint of tomato sauce on his breath. For a brief moment, she wallowed in the luxury of him, his chest, his smell, his smile like the sunrise, before she raised her eyes to look again at the others sitting at the table with him. She drew a sharp breath.

  All four, including his twin whom she’d already met, looked like him. Smooth skin, sleek bodies and gorge
ous enough to be on the covers of international magazines. Lex had invited her out to meet his brothers and sisters. At least some of them.

  They each introduced themselves (Taj, Temple, Alice and, of course, Adisa) and then went back to what they had been discussing—how safe it was for someone named Elia to travel alone in Thailand—while Lex rocked his legs beneath her.

  “I’m glad you could come,” he rumbled, looking up at her with eyes that made her feel like the most desirable woman in the world.

  “Are you sure it’s okay?” She darted a look at his siblings. “We’re the only ones...you know.” She gestured to their close bodies, self-conscious but also content to stay balanced on his knee and absorbing his warmth.

  “We’re fine,” Alice spoke up. “As long as you don’t start swapping spit in front of us, we’ll cope.” She flashed Noelle another smile and poked one of the twin brothers, Temple. “I want something sweet. Come with me and help me decide.”

  The two siblings wandered into the pizza parlor, already debating sweet crepe versus chocolate cake. Which was no contest as far as Noelle was concerned. Crepes every time.

  “This is the first time you’ve brought a girl around,” Adisa spoke to her brother over Noelle’s head.

  Lex only hummed a dismissal in response.

  Taj snickered. “How is that celibacy thing going?”

  Lex gave him the finger and Noelle pressed her burning cheeks into her palms.

  Is this what she missed out on by not having siblings her age?

  Adisa laughed but not unkindly. “Ignore us. We’re just teasing.”

  “I figured as much. I’m just not—”

  A screech cut her off just as a clatter of high heels stopped at their table. Three women stood entirely too close, all skinny with wealth dripping from their throats and wrists despite their tacky Swarovski crystal–studded dresses.