“Our contract, what do you want me to say?” His eyes light up as he looks at me.
I giggle and sit up to move next to him, dragging his shirt on from the floor.
“I don’t know, don’t we already have the one for when we’re forty?”
“Yeah, but that’s pretty subjective now, don’t you think?”
We stare at each other until we break off and laugh.
“Okay, yeah. I don’t know, say what you said.”
He sighs and opens the black sharpie.
“Okay, here we go.” He scribbles quickly and then shows it to me.
I read it and smile. We’ll always be friends because we need each other.
I couldn’t have said it better myself.
19
Carson
Emily and I practically spent all night talking to each other. Mostly about her dad, and how they were able to really catch up since he was on bed rest, and she wouldn’t leave him alone. I understand it, though. If Dad was only sick and didn’t skip straight to the dying part, I’m sure all of us would have done the same thing. But she seems happy, okay I mean, and nothing like she was the day we left. I’m glad for that, but I can tell she is still at wits end about us, and maybe I am too. I just don’t worry about it too much because I really know we can get through anything even if it is something like a break-up—the last thing we expected to be doing together.
I slept over that night and a few other nights, and we didn’t always have sex. Usually, when I am in bed with a woman, we aren’t just sleeping, but Emily isn’t just any woman. So, it’s a lot different, and not the same as just staying over with her either. When we go out to lunch or dinner, it feels like we’re dating, but it still feels so familiar and the same. Maybe the only difference is holding hands and kissing—I like kissing her. She keeps her lips so soft and tasting like almonds, sometimes coconuts.
It’s hard to keep myself at bay when I see her at work because it would look incredibly bad if one of the owners was breaking their own rule. Holden is serious about it, it’s written everywhere. I can’t be fired, but Emily can. So, when he asks about us, I always avert the conversation, but I know he is only buying me my time or selling it. I don’t want to have to make some tough decisions, now or ever, and I don’t want to worry Emily about it either. Our relationship hasn’t even been defined yet, and I don’t want to make it rockier by introducing the actual error in it. She might offer to leave the company, and I know she loves it here, so that would be even worse. I’ll talk to Holden at some point, and since Thanksgiving is coming up, the family spirit will already be at wits end, so I’ll talk it over with him then. Maybe I’m overreacting for nothing. Something tells me I’m not, but I’m a ‘fix the problem when it comes’ type of man.
Since Emily’s dad is staying under bed rest, she agreed to be with us for Thanksgiving, which is great. She usually always is, except when her dad was already in town. The holiday has always been tough for them since her mom got sick around that time and loved the holiday almost more than the both of them combined, so he was never festive about it once she died.
It feels like we’ve been running a secret operation—staying friends, having sex, and a lot of it—that’s probably the only thing that has changed. We still have movie nights. For the past two weeks, we did the same thing we always do—lunch, dinner, weekend workouts, and frozen yogurt—it has all been the same. We don’t really talk about the impending doom of this possibly going wrong, and I don’t think we need to.
All I need to do is figure out if loving Emily as my friend isn’t the case anymore, and if my heart is about to do something it has never done before.
“Are you flying with us?” Evan barges in my office with a smug smile wearing an over-the-top suit as always. He wears the handkerchief matching his pink and orange tie, or whatever color tie he has on that day, and his suits aren’t traditional at all unless there is a Board meeting. Today it’s a striking blue suit, blue striped shirt, and the ridiculous pink abstract tie and handkerchief.
“First of all, what are you wearing?” I look back to the Excel spreadsheet on my computer. The numbers are off, but not glaringly so. I still send it Dylan just to see what he says, he can figure these things out in seconds. It’s kind of like code which he is also versed in. Last time I thought we were a few million off, but apparently, it was just a misplaced comma in one column.
“Clothes. What are you wearing?” He chuckles, turning my side chair across the room around and dragging it in front of my desk.
I look down at my generic black suit and green tie. “Clothes. Flying where?” I type out an end-of-day email to my three department heads. Once I finish, I am officially done for the day. Early for a Thursday at 4:00 p.m.
“Home, nimrod.”
I raise my brows at him trying to hide that I forgot. I rub at my eyes and then smile with no humor at him.
“Oh. I don’t know. Today?”
Evan laughs at me, giving me a funny look. “Yeah, today. We always leave one week out. I guess you’re distracted.”
I had forgotten about that. We might be the only company that shuts down for an entire seven-day holiday period at Thanksgiving, ten over Christmas and New Year’s. It was all Dad. We basically just manage what he has built here.
“Oh. I’m not distracted, I just forgot.” I shrug.
“Yeah,” he snorts, “… by your new friend with benefits.” His smug smile makes me want to punch him in the face, or maybe even myself for telling him in the first place.
I may say all I want about my brothers, especially Dylan and Evan, but I don’t really keep stuff from them. We all had a late dinner together about a week ago when we were working late, and they pried it out of me. Holden helped with that. But they didn’t have all bad things to say, Holden doesn’t know we’re still sleeping together or in some sort of relationship. I don’t know how serious he is about company protocol, and I don’t want to find out with Emily and her job.
“She isn’t… you can’t say that around here, Holden might have cameras.”
“Whatever. What’s your plan?” He crosses his arms and rests his chin on it.
“My plan? For what?”
“Emily.”
“I don’t know what you mean.” I start packing up my desk, so I don’t leave anything out that could gather dust or be snooped at. All our employees are deeply vetted, even the cleaning staff, but we can’t be too sure.
“I mean, are you friends? In a relationship? Stupid?”
I can’t help but laugh, he does too. When I compose myself, I try to formulate a good response.
“I don’t know, honestly. I have no idea. And I don’t think we’re in a hurry to figure it out unless Holden discovers we might be together.”
Evan sighs. “Yeah, that might be a problem. Holden is a rule-man, you know that, so I suggest you find out quickly.” He laughs to himself. I think he finds this all amusing.
“Right.” I finish closing my desk drawers and shutting my computer down, then I go over to my bar to finish the last of my gin, so I don’t leave it in here.
“So…” Evan goes off in this tone that I know very well by now.
“Nuh uh, we’re not going there.” I turn leaning on the counter as I sip behind my smile.
“Come on, I’m dying over here. I mean, wouldn’t it suck if you never talked about it?”
“Talk about it? I don’t ever talk about my sex life with you because you have the pituitary of a child.”
“Oh, big words.” He rolls his eyes at me, stands up, and walks to stop a few feet from me.
“So? Is she any good?”
I frown at him as long as I can because the thought makes me smile. Emily, I mean.
“I’m not answering that,” I say behind my smile. He shakes at my shoulder with his ‘atta boy’ noises until I pull him off me.
“All right, enough. She’s—”
“Best sex of your life?” He cuts me off.
&nb
sp; “Evan, what did I tell you about your emotional maturity?” I chuckle.
“What? Come on, wouldn’t it suck if the sex was bad?”
“Sure. Might make things a little easier.” I move around him and turn off the light in my office.
“True. Or you could just have the conversation. Maybe before you get to the house?”
I’m glad we aren’t driving. The estate is two hours out of the city, less than an hour by plane. The land we live on is its own municipal district, but it’s a hell of a transport to get there.
“Maybe. She already left.” I must not have been paying attention when she was telling me about leaving early, probably because we were in the parking garage, and I was too busy trying to fit on top of her in the passenger seat.
“Well, pick her up. And be at the hangar by seven. Holden won’t wait.” He grins and walks past me to leave my office.
I laugh to myself and finish up before I get ready to leave. I check in with the employees that I see on the way out. In my car on the way home, I get a call from Emily that I answer right away.
“Where are you?” she says immediately, a smile in her voice. It brings one to mine too—just hearing her voice, her soft and sweet, chipper-like-a-flute voice.
“In my car, heading home. Are you finished packing?”
“Yeah, just waiting on you.”
“Well, you’re lucky I don’t have to pack then. I’ll be there soon. We can grab food to eat on the plane,” I tell her.
“Okay, sounds good. I’ll be here. Waiting.” She giggles.
“Will you be waiting naked?” I rev the engine.
“What?” She laughs aloud, her cackling laugh with a mini snort. It makes me laugh too.
“You heard me.” I lick my lips and turn the last street to the private driveway of my house.
“Unfortunately, I did. You’re a mess.”
“Probably because I can’t stop thinking about you naked. You can’t say you don’t do the same with me.” I park and take the phone off Bluetooth as I walk inside. I hear noises by the front door and know it’s just my housekeeper leaving.
“Hmm. You can go ahead and think that.”
“Sure, you’ll be singing a different tune when I show up.”
She laughs. “Okay, you know we can’t be late. Holden will actually leave without us.”
“Right. So, I’ll be quick.” I hang up before she can object and all but rush my way out. It’s barely after six, the hangar is thirty minutes away.
Once I change into jeans and a black hoodie, I pack just my vitamins in a side bag and am back on the road within ten minutes. I’m practically racing to her apartment. I haven’t seen her all day, and I already miss her for just one day.
Things are different between us, especially the missing her and just wanting to be with her at all times. I enjoy her company, I always have, but I’m enjoying this heightened bond between us—it keeps me on my toes. Nothing like meeting someone for the first time and wanting to be around them all the time, it’s more than that because I already know how much better I feel when she is there.
And now, when we’re naked together.
I knock on her door, and she answers in seconds.
“This isn’t naked.” I look down at her jeans and pink sweater with a deep V-neck and shove my way in.
“Because we—” She ‘mphs’ as I cut her off with my lips.
I turn her around and press her to the door trapping her between me and it. The kiss doesn’t waste any time and neither do I. My lips coax hers apart, and in the same breath, my tongue slides against hers, and she moans into the kiss. My body presses to hers, every crevice filled out by how perfectly she fits against me. Her hands fist in my hair, nails scratching my scalp as she leans up to the kiss. My hands roam down her waist and to her ass where I squeeze her supple flesh and dig my hips into her belly. My cock screams at the contact of her warm flesh trapped in my jeans.
“We really are going to be late.” She laughs, breathless when I move my lips from hers to her neck.
“No, we won’t, I’m about to be embarrassingly fast. Take off your pants.”
We pass heated looks as she takes off her pants, and I only have the self-control to free my aching cock from my pants. Our bodies meet again, and I hoist her up on the wall, wrap her legs around me and bury myself in her at once. She’s slick and already wet. I sink inside her and my knees nearly buckle at her warmth clenching around me. Her sigh is deep and curls into a moan as I thrust inside of her.
She bares her neck to me, and I suck at her skin and roam across her until I reach her lips again. Her hips rock with mine meeting every hard thrust as I reach her very core. I reach up her front with my free hand grasping her breast through her thin bra. I tug it aside and pinch her nipple to make her groan against my lips. I need air instead of kissing her, but I can’t let the contact go, our lips open over each other as we breathe the same hot air and chase the searing climax we both need. We draw it out of each other up against the wall and hard against each other. My hips rub against her clit, and I feel her tighten, more and more, the same way that I do, until we’re crashing into each other and coming at the same time. I hold her slack body to mine until we stop pulsing and start to compose ourselves.
I kiss her lips once quickly. “See? Told you I would be fast?”
* * *
Mom is cheerful as ever, as she always is around the holidays. It might also be because Grayson got leave, and he never does for Thanksgiving. We haven’t seen him in a while, so we are all glad he is here. But it also reminds us that we aren’t all here, Isaac is still MIA. We probably have all the reason in the world to just believe he is dead until he resurfaced for Dad’s will last year. But even now, over a year later, he still isn’t around. I try not to care much, but sometimes it still escapes me.
Grayson, though, keeps us entertained all week with his stories that horrify Mom but entertain us. Combat is rough especially being a combat pilot. But he enjoys it. For some reason, he enjoys being shot at from the air, but I guess for honor and the country it all makes sense.
Alec and Brant are both preoccupied with their kids and wives who just want to stare at their babies all day. I get it, they’re cute, and only about two weeks apart, so squishiness overload. I don’t feel any different being an uncle, but I know they feel different being parents, plus Alec having the first legacy kid by naming him Timothy, after Dad. And Brant’s kid, Malia, he isn’t looking forward to the troubles that come with having a girl. But I don’t blame him, I really wouldn’t either.
The dinner table is bigger than it’s ever been even with Dad and Isaac gone. And loud. Emily can’t keep her eyes off the food and the babies. I thought it was a myth all women were like that, but I guess not. And Mom too, but she is just stoked to be a grandmother.
With the food as good as always and the alcohol on endless supply, it’s a great night. Jeffrey dodges questions about Gretchen yet again as this is the third year in a row she isn’t here. It’s bad enough we forgot he was even married, now it’s looking like he might not be anymore. He assures Mom that they aren’t splitting up and gives another work excuse. She’s a neurologist, her work is equally as time demanding as his is since he went from just being an orthopedic surgeon to buying a hospital and heading a research project on how to literally build limbs back from scratch. I let them deal with their own stuff.
Emily and I break off when dinner ends to help Mom clean up, but the housekeeper just ends up taking over, and we go to the great room to drink hot bourbon and talk each other to death.
“Having fun?” I lean down to whisper in Emily’s ear, barely reminding myself that I shouldn’t kiss her.
“Yeah.” She smiles up at me, her eyes bright. I still haven’t gotten her to stop wearing the green contacts, but I just have to go one step at a time.
When I focus back on the room, I catch Mom staring at us and smile back at her, but instead I get her ‘look’ before she smiles back.
We are all flying out tomorrow, so we try to turn in early. Brant flew private because of the baby, Alec and Mia are driving back, and the rest of us have similar plans except Grayson who has leave until after Christmas, so he is just going to stay here.
I have plans to sneak into Emily’s guest room when I tiptoe down the hall like a teenager, before I hear some sniffling in Mom’s room. I knock and enter when I don’t hear anything.
“Mom? What’s wrong?” I rush to her when I see her sitting at the chair at the foot of her bed wiping at her eyes.
“Carson, hi, sweetie. I’m fine.”
“You’re lying.” I smile softly and sit next to her. The crying is a huge contrast from the bright orange dress she has on, and I’m not sure where this came from.
“Is it Dad? Are you missing him?”
She laughs a little which is a good sign. “No, I’m always missing him, sweetie. It isn’t that.”
I chuckle once. “Okay, what is it?” I want to ask about Isaac but opt against it. She gets really defensive about that, and I don’t want to upset her.
“Grayson, he… he’s going on another tour for nine months.”
I close my eyes and exhale, trying to feel her pain for at least a minute because I don’t know how. He’s my kid brother, I worry about him, but that’s her kid too. The last tour was rough. He couldn’t get leave because of so many insurrections. That just means people shooting at each other to Mom, and it’s stressful.
“Damn. I had no idea. It will be okay, Mom.”
She sniffles through her smile and uses the tissue to wipe her eyes. “Yeah. I hope so.” She takes some deep breaths and then turns to smile at me.
“I’m fine, sweetie, I promise. It was just nice seeing you all here again. You know how emotional I get.”
I chuckle as I put my arm around her shoulders. “Yeah, I know.”
She straightens out the collar of my shirt. “You look nice.”
“I look nice all the time. You look nice, too.”
She laughs at me in response. I stare around her room that used to be her and Dad’s room. I don’t even know how she stays in here. I imagine it’s as hard as it is comforting.
Wilde About Carson: The Brothers Wilde Series — Book Three Page 16
