Something fell off the Nightcrawler, hitting the ground with a fleshy plop.
It was an arm, an actual whole arm.
Okay.
Zayne got this.
He so got this.
Throwing his head back, the Nightcrawler howled in pain, the sound a cross between a fox and bobcat. Zayne spun, arcing one crescent-shaped blade through the air and straight through the neck of the Nightcrawler.
Falling forward, the creature burst into flames, disintegrating into a shower of ash before hitting the ground as Purson slipped into what he really looked like. His skin thinned and turned a shade of sand. Fur sprouted all over his face, joining with the mane of blond hair. Leathery, coarse wings sprouted from his back. His nostrils elongated and flattened as his mouth stretched grotesquely wide. Sharp canines sprouted as the demon’s eyes glowed iridescent, pupils stretching vertically.
Purson had the head of...the head of a lion.
I would never unsee this.
Snapping out of my stupor, I started to summon my own grace—
Zayne spun toward the Upper Level demon and he changed, but it was nothing like when he was a Warden. The luminous glow pulsed over his body as the raised markings stretched and lifted off his back, becoming solid.
Wings. The markings on his back were where his wings had gone, and how freaking crazy was that?
Now they spilled outward, unfolding and rising high on either side of Zayne. Golden streaks of light pulsed throughout the snow-white feathers.
“Oh, shit,” Purson uttered in a garbled voice, and I think that was the exact moment he realized what Zayne was. He lifted his hands. There were no nasty balls of energy that Upper Level demons could often summon and control. He held his hands in surrender.
“You can have whatever you want. Anything. My legions, my loyalty. My fidelity,” the Upper Level demon pleaded as he summoned the chain to his hands. “Anything. I swear to you. Anything.”
“Your silence would be nice,” Zayne told him, and then he struck.
It was a graceful move, a spin of golden skin and fire. His wings lifted him in the air and then brought him down, tucking back as the flaming curved blade sliced cleanly through the air.
Purson didn’t even have a chance to do whatever he planned to with that chain. Zayne’s blade caught him at the shoulders, cleaving straight through him.
“Dammit,” Purson muttered, and then burst into flames, incinerated on the spot.
That seemed to be a favorite of last words among demons.
Straightening, Zayne shook his wings out before folding them back. They settled against his back and then...they seemed to seep into his skin, leaving behind the raised pattern of what I now knew were wings.
The sickle blades collapsed, shattering into golden dust that glimmered against the dark ground only for a few seconds before disappearing. The network of lit veins faded as Zayne turned back to where I was standing, having done absolutely nothing other than try to touch him.
Finally, I found my voice. “You could do that? Like from the moment you Fell, you could do all of that?”
“Yeah,” he answered.
“I don’t care what you think, a huge part of you had to still be in there when you were all Mr. Fallen, because you could’ve done that at any time and you didn’t.”
“I could. I did. There were demons I took out that way.” He looked down at his hands while I thought of that garbage human he’d killed. Had there been other humans? “But you’re right, because I didn’t want to when it came to you.”
“Thank God,” I said. “You’re...you’re badass, Zayne.”
His lifted his head. “I thought I was badass before.”
“You were. Like you were badass, but now you’re bad-period-ass-period,” I told him. “I’m kind of having sword envy right now.”
“It doesn’t really bother you, does it?”
“Does what?”
“What I am now. What I’m capable of. Because this is me.” He placed his hand over his heart as he walked forward, stopping in front of me. “But I’m different now. I can feel that. There’s this... I don’t know how to explain it, but there’s this coldness in me, and that need...that need to dominate is still there. It’s not directed at you. It will never be again, but I don’t know if there’s more about me that has changed.”
Staring up at him, I knew what he was saying wasn’t a case of him being overdramatic. He was different. How he spoke to the demon wasn’t like Zayne—like the old Zayne. There’d been a taunting quality to his words that said he was going to enjoy what he was about to do. The way he took out the Nightcrawler was another example. Old Zayne wouldn’t have chopped off an arm. He would’ve gone straight for the kill, and the old Zayne would’ve taken out Purson no matter what the demon claimed or tried to barter. There were differences and there could be more, but I also knew that I would always be safe with him. Hell, I was beginning to think that I’d actually been more safe with him when he was Scary Fallen than I even realized before.
And that coldness he felt? I wondered if it was the loss of his Glory he was feeling, which was sort of equivalent to a human soul. I had no idea what that meant for him long term, and that worried me, but I knew that no matter what, I would still love him and his lack of Glory didn’t stop him from loving me. We’d figure out whatever else may have changed together.
I met his gaze. “The only thing that bothers me is how unfair it is that you have two swords and I have one. That’s BS.”
A wide, beautiful smile broke out across Zayne’s face. He laughed, the sound deep and familiar and warm like sunshine, stealing my breath. That was another thing I didn’t know if I’d ever hear again. His laugh, and it was beautiful.
My lips twitched. “I have a feeling you’re laughing at me.”
“I just told you that I know that I’ve changed and I don’t know exactly how much, and all you can think about is that I have two swords and you only have one.”
“Well, yeah. That’s a big deal. I’m an envious kind of person.”
He laughed again, the sound lighting my whole chest. “Only you would respond that way.”
That could be true.
A warm breeze caught the strands of his hair, lifting them from his bare shoulders as he looked around. Come to think of it, the abnormal chill was gone from the air. It wasn’t unbearably hot or muggy, but it was far more seasonable.
I watched him, wondering if he had something to do with the weather. How strange would that be? But it couldn’t have been a coincidence that it had been twenty or more degrees cooler than normal up until he’d been restored—well, mostly restored—to who he’d been before.
“This is the...what—third demon that’s come for you? Have there been more?”
“It’s only been the Ghouls, the ones from the other night and this dork,” I told him, thinking it was probably best not to mention that two out of three times I left the house I’d had a run-in with a demon looking for me.
“Why isn’t Dez with you?”
“The Crone told me that a Warden or demon’s energy could mess with the spell.” I started to reach for my phone. “I should call him. Share the good news.”
“We can do that later. Right now I want to get you home.”
Home.
The new apartment that Zayne had barely spent any time in, where he’d placed glow-in-the-dark stars on the ceiling for me. Home. My chest squeezed. Before it was just walls and a roof with my clothing still half-packed away in luggage. The stars had made it feel more, but it wasn’t until now that it felt like a home.
Before I turned into a weepy mess all over again, I got my mind back on track. “Gabriel obviously knows where I am. He’ll come again.”
“But you won’t be alone then,” he said, and my heart turned into a gooey mess. “We may have to figure o
ut somewhere else to stay if it becomes too much of a problem.”
I nodded. “The Transfiguration—wait, you weren’t there for that part of his extremely long-winded speech on how he plans to end everything.”
“I know about it.” He took my hand, and the feel of his palm firmly against mine was a wonderful feeling. “I’ve been filled in on a few things, the Transfiguration being one of them. He plans to open a rift between Earth and Heaven so that the demon Bael along with souls that belong to Hell can enter Heaven.”
My brows rose. “You really have been updated. Was it the Alphas? God. I still can’t believe you were actually in Heaven—the Heaven.” My eyes got wide, and I stopped walking. “What was it like? Is it just fluffy white clouds and angels chilling and doing nothing? Souls roaming around, having everything they could ever want? Or does it look like this place? But with angels and souls? I’ve asked so many spirits, but none of them will tell me—” My heart skipped a beat. “Oh my God, did you see your father?”
A grin played across his lips as he stared down at me and I...
I didn’t even realize what I was doing until I was jumping on him.
Zayne caught me as I wrapped my arms around his neck, and this time, he kept his footing. My legs clamped down on his hips, and there was no way he was shaking me off. Not that he tried. His arms immediately swept over me, and he held me just as tight as I clung to him.
Raw emotion crashed through me as it hit me once more that Zayne was alive and it was him, a little bit different but him. Tears pricked at my eyes. “I’m sorry. Okay, I’m not sorry. I just needed a hug.”
His chin grazed the top of my head. “This has to be my favorite kind of hug.”
“Mine, too,” I said, voice muffled. “I just... I can’t believe you’re really here.” My heart pounded and my stomach got into the mix, jumping all over the place. I wanted to laugh and cry, be silent and contemplative and yet scream as loud as I could. I felt like I was coming out of my skin.
“If you need to remind yourself that I’m really here, please feel free to jump on me. I won’t mind,” he said. “I’ll catch you.”
I squeezed my eyes shut. “Why do you always have to say such perfect things?”
“I don’t always say the right things,” he denied. “You know that more than anyone else.”
“I do,” I told him. “That’s why I know what you say is usually just perfect. I’m an expert in these things.”
“I probably shouldn’t argue with you, then,” he said, his voice thicker, rougher with what he’d lacked before. Emotion.
“Yep.” I squeezed him with my arms and legs, and for just a few moments, I let reality soak its way in. I’d helped him find his way back to me, just as he promised, and even though he came back...different, it was him. There was a whole lot of bad stuff we still needed to face, but with him by my side, there was more than just a chance that we’d defeat Gabriel. There was hope. There was a light at the end of the tunnel. He was the silver lining, and this moment was proof that miracles were possible. There was a future beyond all of this.
Pulling myself together, I slowly disentangled myself. Once I was on my two feet and ninety-nine percent confident that I wasn’t going to launch myself at him again, I said, “Okay. I need to focus. I am focused. You can answer all of the questions about Heaven later, but back to what’s important. What did the angels tell you—?” I started walking again, pulling Zayne along with me until I stopped. “Where am I walking to, by the way?”
“I figured we’d catch a ride, since I’d rather speak to Nic before I take to the air,” he reasoned, and I wholeheartedly agreed with that. “I can get high enough that humans can’t tell my wings aren’t like a Warden’s, but I want to make sure none of the Wardens think I’m going to kill them.”
The Wardens.
He’d said that like he was no longer one of them, and he wasn’t. Obviously. I already knew that, but it was still a shock to the system.
“Good call,” I murmured, and then got back on track as we started walking down the path. “Is it possible? What Gabriel claimed? That Bael and the souls would infect Heaven and that God would close the gates?”
“Yes, which basically means any human that dies would no longer be able to enter Heaven. All the souls would be trapped on Earth, either becoming wraiths or tortured by demons,” Zayne finished with a sigh. “With the spheres of Heaven closed off, demons would have no reason to stay hidden. Earth would become Hell, and parts of Heaven would be lost. What Gabriel plans is possible.”
“I was kind of hoping he was just delusional.”
“Unfortunately not,” he said. “Some of the Alphas and other angels already want to close up shop.”
“The Throne said as much.” I wondered if my father was one of them as my gaze swept over the dense, shapeless tree line. Anger flashed through me. What had become of Gabriel couldn’t have been such a complete shock to the other archangels. He had to have showed signs of being out of control, with homicidal, world-destroying tendencies. That kind of stuff didn’t just appear out of the blue. None of them had done anything. My own father hadn’t even told me that Gabriel was the Harbinger, let alone remotely prepared me to come face-to-face with an archangel.
Angels were virtually useless.
Well, except that Throne. He’d been helpful. I peeked over at Zayne, who was technically an angel but not. He wasn’t useless, but any number of the angels, from the lowest class all the way up to the archangels, could’ve done something other than standing by, playing Animal Crossing or whatever it was that angels did in all their spare time.
“You have your phone on you, right?” he asked as we reached the mouth of the park. I nodded, pulling it out of my back pocket. “Want me to order a pickup?”
“Yep.” The entrance spotlights weren’t nearly bright enough to minimize the glare of the phone, so I eagerly handed it over.
As he opened up the app, I let my gaze drift over him. I wondered what the driver was going to think when he climbed into the car shirtless. My gaze got a little hung up on the breadth of his shoulders, the clearly delineated lines of his chest, and lower, to the hint of tight, coiled muscles mostly hidden by the night. Zayne had always been in the kind of shape that made me feel like I needed to add cardio or sit-ups to my nonexistent workout routine. I trained to fight. That was enough exercise for me, but his body was proof that it could cash whatever check his mouth was writing.
And I knew I was definitely staring at Zayne a little too intensely, but I wasn’t ogling him because he was pretty to look at. That was something I’d done a time or a hundred in the past, but I was staring at him now because he was here and he was okay. The disbelief wasn’t going to go away any time soon.
Dragging my gaze back to his face, I thought about how his features still were far clearer than they had been before. In this kind of light, I would’ve never been able to make out the slash of his brow or the set of his lips. That hadn’t been my imagination. It had to be because of what he was, of the grace inside him. Nothing else around me seemed more clear. I couldn’t remember what it was like when I saw my father. Those rare visits were all too brief, and I’d had other concerns when I’d been with Gabriel, like staying alive for example, and when I met the Throne. But when I thought about it, I had seen those creepy eyes in the Throne’s wings. I didn’t think I would’ve been able to see something that small at that distance.
Halfway through ordering an Uber, Zayne’s fingers stilled and he looked over at me.
“Sorry.” I flushed. “I was staring at you like a total creeper.”
“You should know by now that I have no problem with you staring at me.” He handed my phone over, and after I slid it into my back pocket, he caught my hand and tugged me against his chest, and I burrowed in like a barnacle. “I’m sorry.”
“For what?” I started to lift my head.
/>
“For what?” he repeated with a low laugh as he cupped the back of my head, keeping me there, with my cheek above his heart. “For leaving you.”
“That wasn’t your fault, Zayne. It’s not like you chose to.”
“I know, but that doesn’t make it easier knowing that you’ve been through Hell, physically and mentally, and I couldn’t be there for you.” His next breath was ragged. “I wanted to go to you as soon as I realized I could, but when I did, well, that sure as Hell didn’t help.”
I had questions about exactly what happened to him, but they’d have to wait. “You’re here now. That’s all that matters.”
“Agreed.” His fingers curled through my hair. “And I’m not going to leave you. Never again, Trin. Never.”
18
The ride to the apartment was...interesting.
The driver, an older man, kept glancing in the back seat, and I didn’t think it had much to do with Zayne being shirtless or the fact I was attached to his side like we were pieces of Velcro. There was a nervousness in the older man’s movements and chatter that ended as abruptly as it started.
When the man’s eyes weren’t on the road or darting to the back seat, they were on the gently swinging cross hanging from his rearview mirror.
I wondered if the man sensed something...otherworldly about Zayne. I knew it wasn’t me. I had no impact on humans. People also never seemed to realize when they were with Wardens in their human form, but there was definitely an...energy around Zayne that hadn’t been there before.
It was hard to explain, but it reminded me of how the air charged and became eerily still right before a terrible storm or in the eye of a hurricane. That’s what it felt like. There was a stillness to Zayne even as he continuously ran his fingertips up and down my arm, one that made the air around him feel as if it was seconds away from exploding into violent energy. As if the very atmosphere itself was holding its breath, waiting to see what he was going to do.
Grace and Glory Page 18
