by Parker Blue
Shawn continued holding his breath, growing dizzy, and hoping desperately that meant the sentence would be light.
The soothsayer continued, “But we cannot afford another such incident. Therefore, the shadow demon is sentenced to see the Lethe.”
Oh, crap. How much of his father would remain if they did that?
Dad raised his head, pride in his voice. “I claim the right to meet my judgment at my own hand.”
Shawn glanced frantically at Kathryn, hoping for a clue. Did that mean what he thought it did? Surely his father wouldn’t—
“So be it,” the soothsayer said. “Justice is done. So as it has been, so it shall always be.”
The circle repeated the words after him. “So as it has been, so it shall always be.”
The tension in the circle suddenly released, and the soothsayer seemed to come out of his trance. He blew out the candle.
“No!” Sharra screamed. “How can you do this to us?”
The members of the circle got up silently and filed out of the room, not looking at Dad or them. The only ones who stayed were Kathryn, Diesel, and Max. Kathryn laid a hand on Dad’s so they could see his face.
Sharra wiped tears from her face. “What does that mean, Dad, what you said?”
Shawn had a feeling he knew all too well. “You can’t,” he protested.
“I can, Shadow Boy.” His father turned to look at them, deep sorrow in his eyes. “I love you both, but if I met the Lethe, I would be left little more than a vegetable. I can’t let them do that, can’t allow you to see me like that. Better it all end now.”
“No,” Sharra sobbed. “Daddy, no!” She threw herself at him, and hugged him tight.
“Your father is right,” Kathryn said. “This is a more humane way. I promise you, we’ll help him find a way that is painless.”
Shawn stared at her incredulously. Like that was supposed to make it better? “When?” he asked, his voice cracking. “When will you do it?”
“Your father will be allowed to put his affairs in order first.”
That didn’t answer his question, not really, but Shawn said, “Dad? How long?”
Dad didn’t answer. Instead, he opened his arms and said, “Come here, Shadow Boy.”
Shawn rushed into his arms, not caring that he might look like a baby. This was the last time he might see his father. They hugged each other tight, though Sharra studiously avoided all physical contact with her brother.
His father stroked Shawn’s hair. “I’m so proud of both of you. You two are my pride and joy, the only reason I kept on living when your mother left. But you have to be brave for me. Promise me you’ll be brave.”
“No, Daddy,” Sharra said in a thick voice. “I don’t want to be brave. I want you.”
“I want that, too,” Dad said, “but it can’t be. I need you to finish your schooling and practice your drills so that you never lose control like I did. I want you to live long, healthy lives. Be a credit to me and to the Underground. Promise?”
It was the only thing he had left to give his father. “I promise,” Shawn said fiercely.
Dad let go of them both, holding them away.
“No, I don’t want to lose you,” Sharra exclaimed, then hauled off and slugged Shawn. “Do something.”
What the heck did she think he could possibly do to stop this?
His father stilled and his voice changed. “Kathryn, will you find good homes for my children until they’re ready to be on their own?”
“Of course,” she said. “We’ll make arrangements for the two of them to stay here—”
“You’ve got to be kidding,” Shawn said, not caring how rude he sounded. Sharra was sobbing again, so Shawn spoke for both of them. “You want us to stay with the people who murdered my father? No way.”
“You’re right,” Kathryn conceded, looking flustered. “I wasn’t thinking. We can place you with another Demon Underground, in another state. I’ll make arrangements.”
“Wait,” Sharra said, her voice thick with the effort of crying. “Not together. I don’t want to be with my brother anymore. I hate him.”
“What?” Shawn asked in disbelief. “You can’t mean that. We’re the Dynamic Duo, remember?”
“Not anymore,” she said fiercely. “This is all your fault. You broke your promise and see what happened? I don’t ever want to see you again. I don’t even want you to know where I am.”
Stunned into silence, Shawn could say no more. He could only feel, and what he felt was horrific—lost, betrayed, abandoned by everyone he had ever loved.
Does she really mean it? he asked Max.
SHE DOES NOW, BUT SHE’S UPSET. APPARENTLY, PROMISES ARE VERY IMPORTANT TO HER—SACROSANCT. MAYBE SHE’LL CHANGE HER MIND IN A DAY OR TWO.
But his stubborn twin didn’t. For some reason, she’d latched onto Shawn as the scapegoat and blamed everything on him. That was the last he saw of his sister, or his father, since his father didn’t want them to have to deal with any more goodbyes.
Shawn and Sharra’s emotions were so out of control, the Underground feared they’d open portals accidentally, so they sedated them. And so Shawn stayed numb and foggy throughout the funeral and when they sent Sharra to some secret location. They respected her wishes and wouldn’t tell him where.
When Diesel returned, he and Max took Shawn to San Antonio, Texas to meet an older man with dark hair and a smiling face.
“This is Lucas Blackburn, the leader of the Demon Underground here,” Diesel said.
“You can live with me,” the leader said, smiling down at him. “I have a son a bit older than you. His name’s Micah. I’m sure the two of you will get along great.”
“Whatever,” Shawn said wearily. The man seemed nice enough, but everyone Shawn had ever loved had left him. He couldn’t afford to get close to anyone else. It hurt too much now that he’d cut back on the happy pills.
Blackburn glanced down at Max and frowned. “Max tells me you’re feeling down. Maybe even . . . suicidal?”
GEE, THANKS, PAL, Shawn shot at Max.
I DON’T WANT YOU TO HURT YOURSELF, Max said gruffly.
“So?” Shawn asked, not caring how surly he sounded. What did he care?
“Well, we might be able to help,” Blackburn said.
“How?” Shawn asked. “Can you give me my father back? Can you force my sister to live with me?”
“No,” Blackburn said softly, “but, with your permission, we can help you so it doesn’t hurt so much.”
“No more pills,” Shawn said flatly. They made him feel dead inside.
“We have another way to help,” the man said in a soothing tone.
Bitterly, Shawn said, “The only way you can do that is if it never happened.”
Diesel put a hand on his shoulder. “His Lethe can help you forget what caused the pain.”
Not feel this crushing sadness anymore? It was tempting, but he wasn’t sure what they meant. “You want to wipe my brain?” Like they threatened to do to his father?
“No,” Blackburn assured him. “The Lethe can be very selective about what memories to dull.”
Shawn struggled to understand. “You mean I’ll forget my family?”
“Not entirely. The memories will be there, but hidden. They’ll seem like something that happened to someone else. But you can remember when you want to, when you’re ready and willing to deal with the pain.”
When Shawn still hesitated, Diesel added, “It won’t be the lobotomy you feared for your father. It will help you learn to deal with the shadow side of yourself, keep your emotions in check so you won’t have to use drugs.”
And that was the best argument yet. If his only other options were to live in a foggy, drug-induced world or one that was depressing as hell,
maybe he should forget. But wasn’t that a bit cowardly?
NOT IF IT HELPS KEEP YOU SANE SO YOU DON’T END UP LIKE YOUR FATHER DID.
Yes, Dad wouldn’t want that. And Shawn had promised he would try his best not to. The only problem was, every time Shawn heard his own name, he immediately thought of Sharra’s, and he couldn’t call himself Shadow Boy without thinking of Sunshine Girl. He doubted this memory loss thing would stick.
THEN CALL YOURSELF SOMETHING ELSE, Max suggested.
“Like what?”
LIKE . . . SHADE, MAYBE?
Shawn weighed it in his mind. Shade? He liked it. It was kind of a combination of shadow and sunshine, but it felt cool and gentle in his mind. “Okay, I’ll do it. Bring on the Lethe. And you can call me Shade from now on.”
Maybe someday he’d even have the courage to remember everything that had happened.
(Please continue reading for more information about the author)
Acknowledgments
Many thanks to my writer friends who help keep me sane: Jodi Anderson, Donnell Bell, Karen Fox, Laura Hayden, Von Jocks, Sharon Silva, Angel Smits, and Jude Willhoff.
And special thanks to the canine companions who have given me so much love over the years: Princess, Scottie, Lady, Meagan, Caitlin, Bonnie, and Abby. Plus a big hug and smooch to those who share my home and my life today: Mo, Daisy, and Trixie. I don’t know what I’d do without them.
Dear Reader
As you can tell from my acknowledgements page, I love dogs and have adopted several dogs from National Mill Dog Rescue, who re-homes dogs that have been used in puppy mills for breeding purposes. They had an auction recently to raise money, and I offered a set of my books plus the opportunity to name a character to be killed by a vampire in this book. Cyndi Krupa won the auction and chose to use her own name. So sorry, Cyndi, that Austin had to kill your namesake in such an awful manner!
Unfortunately, this book took much longer to write than I wanted. I didn’t plan—or want—to go so long between books but sometimes, life gets in the way. However, in the interim, I did write a short story about Shade when he was young that’s referenced in this book. If you purchased this as an ebook and are interested in reading that account, check out the short story Forget You, available in e-book for free as my gift to you. And, I’ve been busy on another project as well. In the recently released Magick Rising anthology, I have a novella set in a different world—Wolf Rising, in which a witch has to convince a werewolf to turn her into a lycanthrope before she dies of a deadly disease.
And, of course, there’s another book coming to continue the adventures of Val and Fang, tentatively titled Catch Me.
Thanks for joining Val and Fang in their world for another adventure!
—Parker Blue
Colorado Springs, CO`v
