by J. L. Beck
The second song ends, and the three of us are laughing over my two left feet when an upbeat dance song comes on. Keeping a tight hold on my hand, Scarlett maneuvers me so that I'm between her and Annabelle so that I don't have to do very much actual dancing. They are doing the majority of the work, while I'm between them basically standing still. Closing my eyes, I give myself over to the movement and attempt to move with them. For a little while, I'm able to forget all the pressure and the expectations I'm under and just listen to the music. I haven't had this much fun in a long time.
I'm concentrating so hard on the movements we're all making that I don't even jump when a hand lands on my hip. Thinking it's just Scarlett, I try to follow her movements until the hand on my hip brings me back into a decidedly male chest. Whirling around, I look up to see Wyatt behind me. Scarlett is off to the side dancing with Clay, and Annabelle is with them. Emmett is dancing with the girls who joined our table, and I don't see Max or Kat anywhere. Placing my hands on Wyatt's chest, I attempt to push him away, but both of his hands are on my waist and all I succeed in doing is pushing the lower half of my body against his.
Gasping at the feeling of his erection against my stomach, I start to struggle. Wyatt looks both confused and concerned, but he releases me quickly once I really start trying to get away from him. Turning, I move through the bodies on the dance floor, which isn't easy because it's packed. Heading towards the sign that says "Restrooms", I don't look back at the dance floor. I know that I've seriously overreacted and now that I'm away from him, I feel extremely embarrassed.
I'm almost to the bathroom when a tug on my hand pulls me around and my back is against the wall. Wyatt is standing in front of me breathing heavy and looking worried.
"Are you okay?" The look on his face is earnest, and I can tell he really is concerned about me.
I don't understand why he keeps turning up unwanted, and why he keeps trying to make sure I'm all right, but my exasperation comes out in my voice. "I'm fine, jeez."
Wyatt runs a hand through his hair as he continues to study me. I'm not sure he believes me, and I try to pull my hand from his. My pulse is pounding, and the fact that he keeps coming to check on me weakens any defense I have against him. I don't want to be attracted to him, and I need to get away from him before I do something really stupid like kiss him. He must have the same thought because he tightens his grip on my hands while his gaze moves from my eyes to my mouth.
Unconsciously, my tongue darts out to wet my lips and he squeezes his eyes shut with a groan before his head lowers and he crushes his mouth to mine. My mouth opens in a gasp allowing his tongue to sweep inside while his free hand slides around to the back of my neck, holding me in place while he kisses me in a way no one else ever has.
I'm not sure when it happened, but he let go of my hand at some point and his hand is now gripping my waist keeping me still along with the hand at the back of my neck. He begins trailing kisses along my jaw line making me shiver. But when his teeth bite my earlobe tenderly, I come back to reality.
What the hell am I thinking? Pushing him back, he lifts his head to level his heated stare on me. I've never had anyone look at me this way, and my breath catches in my throat.
"Please stop," I whisper, and turn my head, closing my eyes. When I feel his hands drop from my body, I risk a look at him. He's standing a few steps back from me with a haunted look on his face.
"Peyton," he starts, but trails off when I hold up a hand.
I shake my head, "Don't Wyatt. Just don't." Before he can say anything else, I walk into the restroom. Closing myself in a stall, I press my fingers to my lips where I can still feel his kiss. What am I doing? A relationship with Wyatt is the last thing I want. I don't want a relationship with anyone.
Coming out of the bathroom I'm oddly disappointed that Wyatt isn't in the hallway waiting for me. Not wanting to think too long about that, I head back to our table finding Kat, Max and Annabelle with their heads bent together discussing who knows what. Emmett has Olivia sitting on his lap, her arms wrapped around his neck and their mouths fused together at the other end of the table. Dropping into the seat next to Annabelle, I try to follow along with their conversation.
Thirty minutes later, I still have no clue what they are talking about because the only thing I can focus on is what happened in the hallway earlier. In fact, I don't even notice the woman sitting next to Kat until I hear my name. Jerking my head up, I see an older version of Kat looking at me.
"Anna, this is my new roomie Peyton," Kat says, gesturing towards me. "Peyton, this is my older sister Anna."
Her sister gives me a friendly smile, "Hey Peyton! Sorry about sticking my messy little sister with you, but my bestie needs a place to crash for awhile."
"It's fine," I mutter, not knowing what else to say. I can't exactly say gee, thanks for kicking your sister out so that I have to share a room with her.
In an attempt to show I'm not interested in having an actual conversation, I let my eyes roam around the room, freezing when I see Wyatt out on the dance floor. It isn't the fact that he's dancing so much as how he's dancing and whom he's dancing with. He's standing behind Olivia's friend, but he's so much taller than she is that he's bent over slightly to grip her hips in his large hands. If it wasn't for the unexpected jealousy I feel, I'd probably laugh. As it is though, I want to scratch her eyes out and punch him in the balls.
Knowing I can't stay here and watch him be all over someone else after he just had his tongue down my throat twenty minutes ago, I make a lame excuse to Kat and Annabelle before stumbling out of my chair and heading towards the exit. I'm such a glutton for punishment though that when I pass the dance floor I can't help but take another look at them.
Wyatt must feel my eyes on him because he looks up at me, his eyes widening when he sees the look that I know is on my face. Dropping his hands from SB's hips, he makes a move like he's going to come over to me, but stops when I shake my head vehemently at him. This time, he lets me leave. I don't know why, but the fact that he nods, holding my stare for just a beat longer before he continues dancing with her, upsets me. Ignoring the lump that's suddenly in my throat and the burning behind my eyes, I push through the steady stream of people still coming into the bar, trying to get outside before I completely lose it. I know better than to let a guy affect me.
Leaning back against the wall outside the bar, I shoot Scarlett a quick text letting her know I left before finally leaving downtown for the comfort of my currently empty dorm room. I still need to prepare myself for my trip home in the morning, something I'm absolutely dreading.
Family dinner. I still don't understand why we do this every month. Family dinner is just an opportunity to "tell Peyton everything she's doing wrong and what she should be doing instead." By now, you'd think they would realize that I'm not Patrick or Patricia. My brother and sister are 16 and 14 years older than me and both are perfect. I'm the screw up, and the never-does-anything-right child. The child that shouldn't have been, and as punishment they are harder on me than on either of my siblings. You'd think from the way they act that Commercial Music is synonymous with Satan worship, even though it's something that has always fascinated me.
Patrick is the oldest. He's 35, married for the second time and has two kids with his crazy ex-wife. For real, she's insane. They split after Connie caught him with his dick down his secretary's throat...for the fourth time. Not the fourth secretary, just the fourth time with that secretary. Now, he's married to Alyssa, the aforementioned secretary. Then, there are his children. Patrick Jr. Is 9, and Penny is 5. They bounce back and forth between my brother and his ex and each parent badmouths the other. It's a fun situation all around.
My sister Patricia is 33 and thankfully single. Well, at least my parents think so. She's actually been in a relationship with Amanda for almost four years. My parents aren't aware of this because they'd disown her. It's sad, but true. I actually do like my sister, even though she's never stood up for me.
She's too afraid our parents will look too closely at her life if she takes up for me. God forbid the money train stops or she gets cut out of the will.
Then, there are my parents. My father's father was the mayor of Whitten before my father was elected mayor himself. Our family has lived in this area for as far back as I can recall, but I zone out when they talk about it. My father is extremely proud of the long-standing political background and preaches about it often. My mother is "old money" from Chicago, she met my father when he was in college. She didn't go to college and has never worked a day in her life' she waits on my father like he's the king and she's a poor slave. It's actually kind of pathetic, and it's one reason why I never want to let a man get close to me. I don't want to turn into the vapid mess that is my mother.
When I can no longer procrastinate, I grab my things and head inside. As soon as I open the door, my mother appears, immediately pursing her lips in disappointment. Straightening my spine, I prepare for the hatefulness that I know she's going to spew at me. "Hello mom."
"Peyton," she sighs, "I hope you're not planning on wearing that to dinner. It's dreadful." Scrunching her nose, my mother looks my outfit up and down. I'm wearing a gray cashmere sweater, skinny jeans and soft gray knee-high boots. Hearing her though, you'd think I was dressed in rags.
"It's a three hour drive mom, I wanted to be comfortable."
Curling her lip, she continues like I never opened my mouth. "Go upstairs and change right now. We're eating in an hour and you have a lot of work to do."
Arguing my point with her is pointless, so I don't even try. My shoulders slump as I slide around her to go up to my old bedroom. Before I even start up the steps, she snaps out, "Straighten up Peyton, slouching is so unattractive."
"Yes mother," I mutter, not even turning around.
"Don't take that tone with me young lady. Remember, dinner is in exactly one hour." I don't bother responding. "Oh, and Peyton?"
"What?" Throwing my hands up in the air I spin back around to face her.
She smiles, but it isn't friendly at all. "Bradford and his parents will be joining us for dinner." With that final blow, she turns on her heel and walks back down the hall. Fan-fucking-tastic.
Shutting my bedroom door, I can't stop the relieved sigh that escapes my lips. Leaning back against the door, I shut my eyes, trying to calm my trembling body. Conversations with my mother are rarely pleasant, and that interaction was definitely one of the worst. I can't believe she invited Brad and his family. Actually, yes, I can. It's exactly something she would do. I haven't spoken to him since right before I left for college, and there are plenty of reasons for that. I don't even want to think about my high school boyfriend or what his invitation to family dinner means.
Setting my bags down on the bed, I head over to my walk-in closet to pick out something to wear. Dressy designer clothes have no place in my dorm room, so I left the majority of them here. Thanks to my parents ideas of what dinner should be, they get plenty of use when I come home one weekend a month.
Walking into my closet, I take in the racks on either side. One side has lightweight dresses, slacks, and dressy tops. The other has actual gowns. My parents throw big, lavish parties, and designer dresses are a pre-requisite. Combing through the dresses and pants, I find a pretty navy blue shift dress along with a pair of matching heels. This should at least satisfy my mother's criteria for "dressing for dinner". Happy with my choice, I head into the bathroom to take a shower and start getting ready.
After my shower, I style my long pale blonde hair into a knot at the base of my neck. It's a hairstyle that will at least keep my mother from remarking on how it needs to be cut. She thinks it should be shoulder-length or shorter instead of to the middle of my back like it is now. Putting on just a small amount of makeup and getting dressed, I'm ready 15 minutes before dinner is supposed to begin. Taking a deep breath, I head downstairs, feeling like I'm about to meet a firing squad.
Dinner quickly becomes a drama-ridden affair. Patrick informs us that Alyssa is pregnant, my parents rag on my sister for not finding herself a man, and the only thing said to me is "have you come to your senses and chosen a new major yet?" Ah, family. Can't live with them, can't kill them all. Although, I'm sure if the judge or jury ever had family dinner with my parents, I'd receive an acquittal.
My mother, being the ever-hopeful person she is, seats Brad next to me so that we can "catch up". After giving me glares that would make a lesser person crumble throughout dinner, the gleam in her eye during dessert tells me she's not through with her machinations yet. Sure enough, while the table is being cleared, she sets her plans into motion.
"Peyton, dear," she begins, in a completely fake motherly voice, "why don't you and Bradford go sit in the den. I'm sure you have a lot to catch up on."
Oh no. I'm not entertaining Brad and his grabby hands for the rest of the night. I've already had to take his hand off my thigh three times during dinner. "Actually mom, these first two weeks back at school have been tough. I'm really tired, so I think I'm just going to go straight to bed."
The fake as hell smile on her face freezes, becoming more of a grimace but there isn't much she can say without coming off as a bitch to our guests. Giving me a look that guarantees future retribution, she grits her teeth, saying, "Well, that's too bad! I'm sure there will be plenty of time tomorrow for catching up."
Turning to Brad, she says much more genuinely, "Why don't you come over in the morning. You and Peyton can spend the whole day together!"
Once he agrees, her smile turns victorious. Shit. Fuck. Damn it all. Now I have to figure out a way to get out of that. You would think my mother would've realized by now that pushing me towards someone or something is basically a guarantee that I'm going to do the exact opposite. Even if I didn't know exactly how Brad is and how he would treat me I still wouldn't want him. Brad has that sleaze factor that is common among shady politicians; he's had it since high school.
Thinking quickly, I come back with, "Actually mom, this semester is really busy. I only drove down for dinner tonight. I'm going to have to go back first thing in the morning. Maybe next time I'm in town we can visit." Take that Wicked Witch of East Tennessee.
I'm sure it makes me an awful person and an even worse daughter just for thinking of her like that, but she is so freaking manipulative. I hope it would be different if she actually knew the things that went on while I was dating Brad, unfortunately, I don't think it would even faze her.
Leaving her to "make it up" to him, I place my napkin on my empty plate and excuse myself. When I make it to my room without her catching up to me, I turn the lock so she can't burst in to berate me some more before going into the bathroom to remove my makeup and get ready for bed.
Once I'm in my pajamas, I set the alarm on my phone for extra early so I can leave for school before she's awake and I have to deal with any more of her hateful words. I'm sure she'll have plenty.
Once I'm back on campus, the last thing I want to do is go to my dorm. Scarlett and Annabelle both have to work this weekend, and after dealing with my mom, I'm not sure I'm ready to spend time with Kat. My original plan was to spend most of my time at my parents trying to get ahead, so at least I have my books with me.
Parking my car at the library, I grab my bag and walk towards the entrance. Because I'm playing on my phone, looking for my latest Spotify playlist, I don't notice Wyatt walking towards me until he grips my shoulders to steady me before I can bump into him. Startled, I jerk away from his hands, not sure who is touching me before I actually notice him.
"Hey," he says with an uncertain smile. "I thought you were spending the weekend at home."
I roll my eyes, "Yeah, well so did I. I just didn't count on my mom being as big a raging bitch as she is, so I came back early."
"Ahh, so that's where you get it from." He says it teasingly, but my nerves are still a little raw.
My entire body tightens, and I start to walk around him. "Yeah, I guess it is
." As I walk past him, I speed up, hoping to get away from him and his hurtful words as quickly as possible.
"Shit," he mutters before I hear his footsteps behind me. Grabbing my arm right above the elbow, he forces me around to face him. Sucking in a harsh breath, he places his hands on either side of my face using his thumbs to wipe away the tears I didn't even notice were falling. "Shit, Pey, I didn't mean to make you cry."
His eyes are full of remorse, and it takes everything in me to pull away from his warm hands. "I know," I say softly. Then, after clearing my throat I say in a stronger voice, "I know you were teasing. It's just been a shit-tastic weekend."
Wyatt places his hand on the small of my back, guiding me over to one of the few benches outside the library where he sits beside me. Knotting my fingers in my lap, I avoid looking at his concerned face. I don't want him to be concerned about me. I don't want him to care, or to ask questions I don't really want to answer. I just want to forget about the crappy turn this weekend has taken. But, of course, my luck fucking sucks, because the first thing he asks is, "Do you want to talk about it?"
No, I don't want to talk about it. Talking about my shitty family and my fucked up life is about as much fun as having my wisdom teeth pulled last year. I'm probably as shocked as he is when the words start tumbling out of my mouth before I can stop them. "My parents hate my major. When I go home, all they do is demand that I change to something acceptable. This weekend, my mom took it a step further by inviting the guy I "should" be with, at least in their eyes." Wyatt's hands ball into fists on his thighs, and for reasons I don't want to think about, I'm quick to reassure him. "I hate the guy, and his grabby hands. You would think that after I dated him in high school and it didn't work, that she'd give it up, but my mother is nothing if not determined. My siblings are pretty much left alone, while my parents try to completely run my life. Maybe it's because I'm the mistake, the one they didn't want." My voice breaks when I admit that. You'd think by now I could accept that I will never have a normal relationship with my parents, especially my mother. That's a lie. I don't think anyone can ever accept something like that.
