by J. L. Beck
“I’m sorry, Kelly – I don’t know what else to say to you. You guys are divorced, and it might not have been the best idea, but—”
“It might not have been the best idea?” she interrupted me before I was able to get any further. “My dear – you are knocked up at 18 by your boss. Do you have any idea how many headlines this is going to make? And what did your father say? Oh – he doesn’t know.” A wicked smile spread across her face.
I knew my own expression had betrayed me, and I gave her a pleading look. “Please don’t tell him. I really can’t have him finding out about it – I’m not ready!” I hated myself for begging this woman to do something for me, but at the same time, I was trapped.
“Hmm, let me think. And why would I want to do that? You gave no thought to how this would make anyone else feel but yourselves, and now it’s time that you pay the consequences,” she said with a smirk.
“Really, Kelly – I’m begging you,” I pleaded softly.
She stared at me for a moment, and I saw an idea fill her mind. Her eyes lit up menacingly, and she took a step forward. “I’ll tell you what I’ll do for you, sweetheart, and you can consider this to be a real favor to you in more ways than one. Stop seeing Knox and I’ll keep my mouth shut – but if I see you near him for any reason other than purely business, you can rest assured that the entire world is going to know what you guys did. Deny it all you want, but I know what I saw, and you’re smart enough to know there are some things that you just can’t deny.” She peered down at my belly as she spoke, then she looked back up at me.
I felt a pain run through my chest. I still loved Knox more than anything and though I felt frustrated and devastated with her catching us and the time he’d been spending with her, I didn’t know if there was a way I could just stop seeing him.
“Is it really that difficult of a decision? We are talking about your entire future here. Oh, you can’t just walk away from him, can you?” Kelly looked at me with surprise in her eyes.
I suddenly realized she thought I would do what she would do and just walk away. “I – I love him,” I managed. I know the nerves showed through my voice, and I could see the shocked look in her eyes. I thought I also could detect some jealousy in her look, but it was difficult for me to be able to say for sure.
She smirked as she clicked the mirror closed and put it back in her purse, then she looked over at me with an evil glare. “You love him, do you? Well, that’s going to complicate things a bit then. Don’t worry. I’m going to tell him the same thing I just told you, so perhaps he can help you come to your senses about this situation.”
I was about to reply when the elevator chimed that we had reached the top floor and the door opened.
Kelly walked through it then turned back to me before the doors closed once more. “You have so much to learn about life – don’t you?” she asked.
I felt my chest grow tight with fury, but I didn’t have the chance to respond. The door closed before any words came to mind. I sighed. I could start an argument with her, but what good would it do? She had the upper hand in this situation and there was no denying it.
I hit the ground floor button and sighed as the elevator descended once more, my mind in a whirl. There were so many things I wanted to tell that woman, but I knew I couldn’t. I trust Knox would be able to handle her – perhaps telling her to get out of the office and stay away from him. I didn’t understand. They weren’t married any longer, so why did he have to listen to anything she said?
He loved me, I knew he did, and I loved him. No matter what happened, we were going to make it through this situation, and we would end up being together. I knew I could make him happier than she ever did. And in many ways, I felt that I already had. I absentmindedly touched my belly, thinking about how many times he’d told me and my father he’d wanted a child.
“Now, thanks to me, he’s going to have one. Thanks to me!” I exclaimed triumphantly aloud, though I was the only one in the elevator. The ground floor chimed and the doors opened, and I walked confidently out for the first time in days. I decided I wasn’t going to be scared of her any longer. Knox would handle her and together, we would take care of this situation. It was him and I now, not him and Kelly, and she would just have to come to terms with that.
Finally, I started to feel like everything would be okay.
What’s wrong with you? You’re acting so distant – did I do something wrong?” I asked. I hadn’t seen Kelly again, and I was certain Knox would tell her to go to hell, but ever since that evening, he’d been acting far different than usual. At first, I thought he was just busy and dealing with residual shit she was throwing at him, but the more time passed, the more I began to feel like he was actively avoiding me.
He didn’t text me at all – anything work related he would wait until I was actually at work to tell me, and he let the texts that I sent him sit unanswered. I wanted to believe that I understood what was happening, but I honestly didn’t. I felt that he loved me as much as I loved him. I thought that since we were going to have a child together, he would choose me over Kelly. Yet, it seemed that he couldn’t wait to get away from me whenever I was in the room, and he had no interest in speaking to me besides work stuff.
“Have you noticed Knox acting strange lately?” I asked Stef when I met her in the break room.
She shrugged. “He always acts weird when Kelly is around,” she said.
“I know, but Kelly hasn’t been here much – I’d think that he would be fine when she wasn’t here, you know?” I looked at her.
She shrugged once more. “You do know Kelly still has a percentage of interest in the company, right? What’s wrong? Did the honeymoon wear off?” she teased.
I gave her a surprised look. But I now halted at this news. So he had to deal with Kelly? Because she still had partial stock? I wanted to sigh in relief, but I wouldn’t. “What are you talking about?” I asked, a little too defensively.
Stef held up her hands to show she meant no harm. “I just know that the two of you are like inseparable, and I wondered if perhaps someone has lost interest.”
Now I felt more defensive. “He couldn’t lose interest in me, it’s not like that,” I lied.
She smiled.
I knew she didn’t believe me, but I wasn’t going to let her get away with the assumption, even if she were right. “We’ve known each other my entire life of course, we would be close.”
“Hey, I’m just saying what I’m seeing, that’s all. No need to get all worked up about it, especially if there’s nothing going on?” She gazed at me with a curious expression.
I smiled. I knew I needed to relax, or I would end up giving myself away—the last thing I wanted to do. “I just thought he was acting different is all.”
Stef grabbed an apple as she started for the door. “I don’t know what to tell you, but if it were me and I was worried about it, I would probably talk to him. Seems like you’d get more information talking to him, instead of about him.” She headed back up the hall towards her office.
I sighed. She clearly knew more than I wanted her to, but at the same time, she didn’t know the full story, and she didn’t know the way he was when I tried to talk to him about anything.
It would be a lot harder than that, but I needed to try. The way he’d been acting was driving me crazy, and I knew it would until I got the answers I needed. With a surge of resolution running through me, I squared my shoulders and walked back out into the office.
I’d decided I would talk to Knox like she’d advised, so I marched into his office and shut the door. “It’s important, trust me,” I said. Knox had kept trying to get out of talking to me privately, but I wouldn’t let him just slip by this time. I would get my answers and one way or another, I intended get them.
“Didn’t you hear what Kelly said?” Knox finally replied. “She wanted me to fire you to keep us apart, but I told her there was no way I was going to do that. I agreed that we would keep our dis
tance, and I want to do that. This is for you, Meagan, not her.”
I stared at him with shock. I couldn’t believe it – he had been doing what she’d told me to do! “You mean to tell me that we aren’t going to be able to talk together privately now, because she might tell on us if we do?” I asked. I hoped the mocking tone would shine through, but I could see by the look on Knox’s face that he didn’t think of this as laughing matter.
“You don’t understand what this would do to you – to your father. Look, Meagan, I love you, and I always have, but I can’t let you destroy your life this way. It would be on the cover of every tabloid out there, and you don’t want to be known as that girl, trust me. You have so much going for you.” He smiled gently.
The tight feeling in my chest was making it difficult for me to breathe – or even think clearly. I felt horrified he was taking Kelly’s side and I would do anything to change his mind. “B-but the baby? My life is going to revolve around this child – and you – from now on! You can’t just avoid me for the rest of my— life!” I felt my voice catch in my throat, and I worried that I might just break down in the middle of his office.
“Meagan! You’re too young to settle down now – I’m going to help you take care of this child, I promised that I would and I’m going to make good on that promise. But you have to believe me when I tell you that you aren’t ready to make this kind of commitment – I’m not going to let you,” he said.
I took a step back, shaking my head, and looking out the window. “What is this then? Am I just going to have to call you? You never text me, you never answer any of the calls I do make – you barely make eye contact when I’m here. I’ve wanted to have you inside me for days now, but you barely even look at me anymore. Please, can we fuck now? Can you please make this all go away by fucking me?” I felt desperate.
Pain showed in his eyes as he shook his head. “Meagan, I think that our relationship has run its course. I am going to take care of everything for you, just like I promised I would, but we can’t keep seeing each other. It’s just not possible.” He sighed.
My throat swelled even more. I didn’t think I could breathe, and the sobs were starting to shake my entire body.
“Please don’t be upset. Surely, you didn’t think that this was going to be forever?”
It felt like a dagger ran through my heart at his words. I shook my head in disbelief as I turned to go.
“Meagan! Please don’t leave like this – we can talk about what we are going to do with the baby!” Knox called after me.
I felt too upset to listen. I didn’t care who saw me leaving the office or what anyone thought. I walked up to my desk and grabbed my things before heading toward the door. I didn’t want to talk to anyone, and I avoided all the stares I could feel on me as I made my way over to the hall.
I hit the button to the elevator and stepped inside, punching the button for the ground level. When I was finally alone, I let the tears freely fall – running down my cheeks and splashing down onto my blouse. I was hurt and humiliated. But most of all—heartbroken.
I wanted to die.
I glanced down at my phone then shoved it back in my pocket. Both my father and Knox were trying to reach me, but I refused to answer either one of them. It was getting dark, and I still hadn’t gone home. I didn’t even listen to the voice mails either one of them had left. I just wanted them both to go away – for everything to go away.
I decided to cut through the park at the end of the road. Our house wasn’t far, but it was quiet enough there, so I knew I would get the chance to stop and think. I wasn’t certain what I wanted to think about – perhaps Knox. Perhaps what I needed to do next. A voice inside me that told me it would be better if I were to just run away – I was an adult, I could start my life fresh somewhere else.
But then, I knew that my father would die if I did that to him. I needed to at least tell him the truth, but I wasn’t even sure how I would to do that now. He would be devastated to hear I was pregnant – and that Knox was the father. To make matters worse, by now he would know I’d been hiding it from him for months – he would be crushed.
I wanted to ignore the thought that crept into my mind – it would be better for me to just jump off the bridge in the center of the park and disappear into the murky water down below. Of course, there were plenty of other people in the park and I had no doubt in my mind if I were to do that, someone would ruin my attempts at ending my own life.
I knew it was selfish – I knew my baby didn’t deserve to have his life cut short because I was sick of living mine. Now, I wasn’t so sure I even wanted to have this baby anymore, either. I’d been dreaming for so long of the family I would have with Knox, and now none of it mattered. He’d thrown me aside like I was nothing.
I stopped on the side of the bridge and looked down. The thought of jumping off the side made the bottom look much further down than I remembered, but once again, the thought kept appearing in my mind and this time, I wasn’t so sure I just wanted to dismiss it. It seemed like it would be so easy, just to dive over and have the decision made for me. The water was likely very cold and the impact alone, wouldn’t be great for me.
I leaned over, thinking if I were to move quickly, no one would be able to stop me. They would just see me go – sure, they might call for help, but they wouldn’t be able to do anything about it. Or, at the very least—they would have to work quickly to even save me.
“Meagan! Don’t you dare!”
Knox’s voice suddenly cut into my thoughts, and I turned to see him running toward me. He could see what I was thinking of doing, and seeing him made me want to go through with it all the more. On a sudden impulse, I grabbed the rail and started to pull myself over, but I was heavier now, and it was harder to raise myself up.
Knox caught me quickly, grabbing me and pulling me to the ground. “What are you thinking?” he shot at me as I tried to wrestle free.
“You let me go! I don’t want to live anymore! I don’t want any of this!” I cried.
“Are you crazy? What kind of talk is that?” he was yelling and breathless, from fear as much as frustration.
“You lied to me, Knox! I don’t care what you have to say now – you never loved me and when you got tired of me, you just dumped me!” There were tears running down my face.
He let me go as his face paled. “That is even crazier than jumping off this bridge – I have loved you more than anything in my life. I had to leave when I did before when you were seventeen because I didn’t think I could control myself around you, and since you and I have been together, I have been happier than I have been in my entire life!” He was speaking with a strange vibration in his voice.
Trembling, I stared at him. “Then why did you just dump me like I was nothing?” I sobbed. I knew the answer, but I didn’t agree it was a good one.
“I was scared for you – and I thought it was the right thing to do,” he replied.
I could see the pain in his eyes, and I shook my head. “You said that I wasn’t old enough to be able to commit to this, but I think that you’re the one who doesn’t want to commit. I wanted to be with you Knox, and I still do. I don’t care about our age difference. I don’t care if I’m on the tabloids. I don’t even care what my father has to say about it. I love you – more than anything, and I want to be with you!” I had tears running down my face, and I felt certain he would be angry with me.
Then to my surprise, he merely sat there for a moment and looked saddened before he spoke, “You know what…I want that too,” he said at last.
Now, it was my turn to look shocked. “What?” I asked.
He stood up and helped me to my feet. “I want that too. I have wanted it, but I also knew it was selfish of me to want that. I thought I would be a better person for letting you go. For you to have a future with someone else, maybe someone younger. It’s because I love you that I tried to let you go. For your sake.” He sighed. “But you’re right, I have been afraid to com
mit to you, but Meagan, you are the woman who has made me happier than any other woman has in the past, and I love you dearly. I think about you day and night. I didn’t ever want to hurt you. I want to have this baby with you, and I want to enjoy our lives – as a family.” He looked so upset. “I was wrong about it. So wrong. I didn’t realize…” He shook his head. “Let Kelly tell the entire world. I don’t care about that anymore. I’m proud of us!” Knox didn’t wait for me to reply, but rather he leaned down and pressed his lips to mine.
I stood on the tips of my toes with my arms around his neck, passionately kissing him. I didn’t care who saw – I didn’t care about anything but him.
“You might be young, but if you’re certain this is what you want…Meagan Thompkins, will you marry me?” He looked deeply into my eyes as he asked.
I felt my heart skip a beat. There were going to be so many things we would have to work out, but it didn’t matter. This is what I wanted. I’d always loved this man for my whole life. And now, he finally told me he loved me too. This is what he wanted. All that mattered—was us.
“Yes,” I said with a smile.
His expression told me everything as his eyes shone with joy.
“Yes, I will marry you.”
Knox had made good of his word on taking care of me and made certain I felt loved every single day. A few weeks had passed and it was starting to become harder to hide my growing belly and Knox and I both knew that meant it was time to tell my father about our secret affair.
“Are you nervous baby?” Knox questioned his breath fanning against my earlobe and sending shivers up and down my spine. I was ready to spend eternity with the man before me, and all we had to do was get through my father.
“A little bit. We’ve come so far and I don’t want to hurt him, but I also don’t want things to get out of hand…” Knox knew what I meant, I was certain of it. We couldn’t let his ex-wife expose us before we had a chance to tell him. Seconds ticked by while we waited for my father to appear in the meeting room that was connected to his office by a door.
