The truth was, she didn’t have all that long left. The bulk of her life had passed her by like a fleeting summer vacation. By the minute, her bones were fading away and there was nothing that could be done to stop it. Loviel had tried to fix her, but he couldn’t. He had said it was written into her genetic code, and that wasn’t something he had the power to alter.
The stress from last Autumn had put a great strain on her body. Hell, she had died for a whole minute. Because of all the worrying and wounds, Michelle’s hourglass had sprung a leak: her time was running out.
“When I’m around humans, time slows for me,” Ravin admitted. “You bring me into your point of view. I think that’s why I spend so much time with your kind.” With humans, he could stop to smell the roses, and it would mean something. Away from them, he would never do something so simple. He had more important things to do.
A wave of frustration washed over him. He gnashed his teeth to keep from speaking out. She hadn’t told him that she was still dying. In all the months since last Fall, he could have done something. Something more. To make everything more meaningful.
Yet she’d hid it from him for no reason. Why did she hide it from him?
His fingers dug into his thigh. No. Good date. He had to give her a good date. “But I mean, that and, you’re really fun to mess with.”
The first course was delivered. A wide array of appetizers was laid before them. Michelle selected a mushroom cap. Wild flavors burst into her mouth with the first bite. It was a delightful way to start the meal. She knew, however, she wasn’t in the clear.
“You don’t have a good poker face.” Michelle dabbed the corners of her mouth with her napkin. “I know it’s driving you nuts not to say something.” Maybe they could get it over with. With every passing moment, the tension was building. If it got any thicker, she could spread it on a slice of their table-side bread and make a worry sandwich.
As much as she didn’t want to talk about it, she could see that humor wasn’t making the problem go away. It rarely did though. Her deflection techniques rarely served as anything more than a themed adhesive bandage.
Ravin took a square of cheese topped with a smooth orange paste and microgreens. He stuffed it in his mouth so that he could take time to form a response. “I just… don’t want to ruin the date.” Not even in some of the wilder scenarios had he considered the fact that she might not be healed. He had let himself hope. Hope was his bane. After all these years, he should have known better.
“I want to have a good meal, and…” Ravin stopped himself before he continued with that particular statement. He wouldn’t reveal the last part… he was beginning to think calling it a night early wouldn’t be a bad idea. “Have good memories about it,” he finished.
He wanted it to be a perfect night. He could only hope that he managed to keep it together enough to not ruin everything he’d worked for.
Michelle smothered her feelings with another appetizer. It worked like a charm. It was hard to be upset when eating her favorite foods. Cheese was a woman’s true best friend. One after the other, she popped the tiny treats.
Her leg was starting to twinge, even while sitting. The pain there must have decided to phone a friend, because her back began to complain. She settled against the chair, hoping to relieve some of the pressure.
“These little cheese ball things are amazing.” She reached to the table without moving her spine. “I can’t even begin to pronounce the names right.”
Instead of grabbing another piece of food, Michelle set her hand on Ravin’s. His warmth was comforting. The stars above caught her attention. All around them, the sky twinkled happily. It was beautiful. Despite the awkward situation she had put them in, it was at least a stunning night.
Ravin shifted his hand so that he could lace his fingers with hers. “I’ll have to smother you with them in the night.” He couldn’t help but notice how she’d shifted, how she moved differently. It made the angry fire burn brighter inside of him.
If she was still sick, why wasn’t Loviel doing anything? How could he just let her suffer? She was bound to him. They were tied together through a link that Ravin couldn’t begin to fathom.
“Or, bring them to you at awkward times,” he offered. “During finals, while you’re in the bathroom, while you’re trying to evade dragons…” He still hadn’t let her live down the fact that they’d met because she’d been crazy enough to try to pick a fight with the massive reptiles. Though, they weren’t quite as intimidating in human form.
“They will be much appreciated.” She squeezed his hand. “I couldn’t think of a time I would need then more. Protein is important during high-stress situations.”
Ravin chuckled. “Yes, maybe this time I won’t try to take your soul.” It had been such a strange way that they had met, but nothing less would have suited them. He’d been in a tight spot back then. It was hard to believe that only a few months ago, he’d been stealing souls to keep Kazun safe. Those hadn’t been his finest moment.
When he’d first met Michelle, she’d been facing down a group of dragons. Any one of them could have crushed her like a bug, but she hadn’t been afraid. Ravin had saved her for free, but he’d still made an attempt to get her soul.
Just not a particularly strong one.
He never could have imagined back then that he’d be sitting across from her on a romantic evening.
“I think, as my boyfriend, you’re supposed to do me favors for free.” The words felt funny on her tongue. She had never called Ravin that before. Dating was a confusing game. Even though this was their first date, did that actually mean they were together together? Well, it was too late to take it back now.
Ravin was struck dumb for a few moments. “I love doing favors for you.” Boyfriend. Girlfriend. Well, he couldn’t say that he didn’t like it. That had been his goal, right? “Boyfriends don’t need to keep tabs.”
“Does it erase prior tabs?” she mused, sipping from her delicate crystal glass.
He nodded. “It does,” Ravin announced. “It wouldn’t be fair. People in a relationship shouldn’t keep score. That’s not what it’s about.” Sure, he hadn’t been in a relationship for lifetimes, but that wasn’t important.
“Good.” She smiled, stealing the last of the Sinnoci sandwiches. “There was no way I was going to pay you back anyway.”
The relationship they had forged had come a long way.
Michelle couldn’t believe how cheesy it all felt. It was gross, like of those stupid chick flicks. She was not the type to be a hopeless romantic. Now that she had the opportunity, she wouldn't allow anything to occupy her mind and distract her. Before, her sole duty in life was to take care of her sister. Lian didn’t need her like she used to. So now, Michelle was left to suffer with her sappy thoughts.
At least he was hot. That made it a bit less painful. Still, making goo-goo eyes was a cliché agony of life that she couldn’t believe she was partaking in.
Ravin let out a sigh and took gulp of his refilled drink. A chuckle left his lips. “So, is the romantic stuff as awkward for you as it is for me?” He could sense the hint of discomfort wafting off of her. It wasn’t strong, but they’d never done anything like this before. It wasn’t… like them. They’d never really been romantic. “After the food is done, do you want to go hang out somewhere?” he offered as a reprieve. The most sappy thing they’d done in the past was share a pizza, which really didn’t count in his mind.
“Stars yes,” she breathed, feeling more glad than ever they were on the same page.
Ravin chuckled and raised his glass. “I am so relieved to hear you say that.” He was perfectly fine with the boyfriend title. In fact, he would wear it like a badge, but this romantic stuff just wasn’t his speed. There were plenty of less incredibly expensive and fancy ways to have fun.
“We could go mini-golfing, and maybe try to win a how many beans are in the jar challenge, or something. Maybe throw popcorn at gulls?” The possibilities we
re endless. Well, not necessarily endless, but definitely not limited to what he’d originally planned.
“Mini-golf sounds like a blast.” Both of her pains were a dull ache by now: nothing she couldn't handle. It wasn't the worst pain she’d felt by far. That award went to either a spinal stabbing or a hell hound turning her shoulder into ground beef.
Ravin finished his second drink and set the glass on the table. “Then mini-golf it is.” The activity would also take his mind off of the elephant in the room.
The terrible, awkward elephant. Death. He couldn’t stop it. Not yet. He didn’t know how. Not yet.
His fingernails dug into the heel of his palm. He fought to bring himself back to a calm state. No freaking out. Not yet. It wasn’t her fault. It was Loviel’s fault. He would take it up with the Angel as soon as he could.
“Do you want to do dessert here or find something that is stupidly unhealthy on our adventure?” He knew that there were a lot of different options available for them.
Michelle grinned and patted her belly. “You know I’m a slut for funnel cake.”
Ravin laughed. “Then it looks as though we are done here.” He’d thought ahead and opened a tab. He could pay it tomorrow. Today wasn’t the day to worry about the hassle of money. At least, not in one of the most expensive restaurants in the city.
“Then off we go.” Michelle got to her feet and extended her hand. The twinge in her leg relit, but she hid any sign of pain behind a smile.
Ravin took his girlfriend’s hand and teleported them from the restaurant. When they rematerialized outside the mini-golf course, Ravin let out a contented sigh. “Feel free to take a moment to recover from that.”
The world spun for a moment. Dizziness washed over Michelle and made her freshly eaten food slosh about. With one awkward step, she could feel the pain come to life again. She sucked in a sharp breath, unable to contain it.
She winced, not because of the pain, but because she knew she was adding fire to the flame of awkwardness. Ravin wouldn’t stay silent for long and she would have to face the music. Lying was a dangerous game that she had chosen to play. Now, it was coming back to bite her.
“I’m okay,” she insisted, pressing towards the equipment booth with a confident limp.
Ravin clenched his hands into fists. His tail thrashed back and forth like an agitated cat. “No.” He ground his teeth. “No, you’re not.”
He couldn’t keep it in anymore. “You’re limping, and thanks to your supposed holy influence, you’ve been running around lying about the state of your condition. I thought they were predisposed to, I don’t know, good shit like truth-telling.”
Michelle stopped in her tracks. She could feel her heart drop. Here it was, the storm. Even with her back towards him, she could picture his brooding dark eyes and furrowing brows. Slowly, ever so slowly, she turned to face him.
“What do you want me to say?” She bit her lip. “I can’t be fixed. I wasn’t about to tell everyone that and be treated differently.” Dying was hard enough. Adding pity on top of it made it so much worse. “I just wanted to have fun before…” Michelle felt burning in her eyes. “I can’t have fun anymore.”
Ravin scowled. “We could have been doing something to find a different solution. I could have talked to Sin. There have to be options. Instead of watching you slip away, we could have done something.”
He hated that they’d been so good at lying to him. It was all too easy for them to deceive him. For months they’d hid it. He wanted to scream. What else were they lying about? He’d thought they’d been friends. He’d looked past the wings and haughty species and found himself thinking of Loviel as a friend.
Apparently that meant little to them.
“We should have been doing something,” he reiterated.
It was exactly the thing that Michelle was trying to avoid. She could remember being little and her mom trying every single medical test on her. There were times when she would spend months in the hospital trying transplants and injections after injections.
They had looked into every medical possibility, and even many non-medical ones. It had been thought if she could be turned into an immortal creature, she could live. The only species that they knew of was Vampire.
But alas, after begging and bribing over one hundred vampires, none would take her humanity. Even if one did try, there wasn’t a guarantee it would work. Most people with Osteovitrum didn’t make it past birth. If Michelle’s mother wasn’t a medical genius, Michelle wouldn’t have either. There wasn’t a ton of research on the disease. The bulk of it included the fact that men had what was compared to ‘glass bones’. The same wasn’t true for women.
No, theirs could be more likened to sugar cubes, slowly dissolving away. Before she knew it, she wouldn’t be able to stand or even breathe.
“I just want to enjoy what time I have left.” Her tone came out harsher than she intended. “I’ve looked for a solution my whole life, Ravin. I’ve wasted years. Now, I just want to have fun.”
“You haven’t had someone who works for one of the most powerful demons in the world before.” He didn’t intend to sound so prideful. “Sin could do something to help you. I know it. I could bear the weight of the cost.” He already owed her for the rest of his life. No matter what, he would take on even more, if it meant Michelle living.
“I can’t just sit on my hands and do nothing!” he snapped. “Your stupid, feathered friend shouldn’t be content to, either.”
Michelle threw up her hands. “He did all that he could, then respected my wishes to drop it.” Tears burned at the corners of her eyes. She felt like she was three years old, sitting in the hospital bed, hearing her mom have a screaming match with her lab results. This wasn’t how she wanted her first real, romance-filled date to end. At least at the bottom of it, she could say that he cared about her. Right?
“It sounds like he didn’t do anything.” Ravin punched the wall beside him. His fist left a dent in the material. “They have to have some crazy angel magic that can fix this!”
She flinched and shielded her face from bits of debris. Her blue eyes turned into daggers. “I seem to recall that Lovie brought me back after you stabbed me in the spine.”
The color bled out of Ravin’s face. She still blamed him for that. It hadn’t been his fault. He’d been controlled by the same bastard who’d wanted to end the world as they knew it. His punishment for whatever crime he’d committed against Ira had been to kill Michelle.
There was nothing to say. Nothing he could say. With just a thought, and a bit of energy, Ravin disappeared, leaving Michelle alone in the dark. He had somehow managed to find a way to make it the worst date ever.
Chapter 4
Time was a blur for Ravin. He couldn’t contain the guilt or the anger, so he ran. When he finally came to a stop, Ravin was outside of Sinsation. He would come here. It was the only place he could go. He barely had to pause at the door. The golem behind the entrance knew him well enough. After all, he worked there.
Ravin entered the bar and slid out a stool. He balled a fist into his strawberry blonde hair and tugged. “Anything,” he grunted to Viktor, the bartender. “I don’t care. I just want something hard.”
It wasn’t his fault.
He still had nightmares about how easy he’d been to control. Some nights he didn’t sleep, simply for that reason. It could happen at any moment—or so his mind would tell him. Tears burned in his eyes. Why did she have to bring that up?
The huge bear of a man behind the counter grabbed a thin crystal bottle from the shelf. He poured three good squirts into a glass before adding a taste of fruit syrup and a drizzle from another bottle. Viktor set the glass down in front of Ravin.
“Your night was bad?” The bartender questioned, though he already knew the answer from years of experience.
A sour look passed over Ravin’s face. He took the drink and finished it in a few gulps and scowled as the burning rolled down his throat. “Started g
ood,” he grunted and pushed the glass back towards Viktor. “Ended bad.”
Things were only going to be worse following his disappearance. It might be his friends who would kick his ass now.
It wasn’t his fault. He didn’t want to remember the feel of the knife jamming against the bone of her spine, or the blood flooding over his hands. The sounds that escaped her as the light faded from her eyes. Yet, those would never leave him. The words leaving her lips had brought him back there. He’d been incapable of stopping himself from ending her life.
Michelle knew that, but she still held it against him. She could use it as a weapon for the rest of eternity… or however long she had left.
“At least it not all bad.” Viktor filled his glass once again. He nodded to the cup. “It on Viktor this night.”
“Thanks, Viktor.” Ravin downed it faster than the first. “The end probably made the whole thing shit,” he growled. He was probably never going to live this down, either. What the hell did it matter?
It mattered more than anything. More than anything in the entire world. He couldn’t go back. He was too weak.
“Well, look what the werewolf dragged in.” The sound of high heels on hardwood reverberated through the bar. The other patrons quieted as they watched her make her way to Ravin. Sin leaned against the counter and sighed. “Are you sad because you missed ladies’ night?”
The demoness took the seat beside Ravin and spun herself around once. “No, wait. You had that very important date today. Must have been real bad if you’re sitting here wallowing in a cloud of…” She took in a deep breath through her nose. “Is that wrath or pride? Hmm, I can never tell the difference these days.”
“She’s still dying, Sin,” Ravin hissed. “She and Loviel have been lying to me. They’ve been hiding this from me for months and she chose today to tell me.” The glass shattered in his hand, the shards digging into his palm. Blood dripped onto the wooden bar surface.
Syndrome of Mortality (Break of Breath Book 2) Page 3
