by T L Swan
He widens his eyes, shocked. “You haven’t had sex with anyone since Ashley?”
“Nope,” I reply with a shake of my head.
“Why not?”
I shrug. “Nobody’s doing it for me.”
“Is that a record for you?”
I nod. “Yep. Biggest dry spell since I started having sex.”
His eyes hold mine. “What’s going on with you and Ashley, anyway?”
I run my fingers through my two-day growth. “I don’t know. I think she tolerates me.”
“Does that bother you?”
“Fucking truth it does.”
“I thought you were getting along?”
I shrug. “She’s being nice to me for Owen’s sake. Although, last weekend was a little different.”
“What happened last weekend?”
“I was sick and she came to my house and looked after me for the weekend.”
He listens as he watches me.
“I think I’ve officially been friend-zoned for the first time in my life.” I widen my eyes as I sip my beer.
He chuckles and shakes his head. “You didn’t make her clean up your vomit, did you?”
I laugh. “Practically.” I shake my head. “Fuck. It was mortifying.”
“What are you going to do about it?”
“There’s nothing I can do.”
He thinks for a moment. “Look, I don’t know how it is with you, and you know mine and Tash’s story, I loved her from afar for years… But nobody could fill the void that she left.”
I blow out a sad breath. “That’s what I’m afraid of. What if I never feel the way she makes me feel with anyone else? What if I was supposed to be with Ashley for real and I fucked it all up?”
He watches me for a moment, silent.
“She doesn’t trust me.” I pause and shrug. “And why would she?”
“But you didn’t know her then. You were trying to do what was best for your son.”
“We know that, but she doesn’t.”
He frowns as he thinks.
“And the worse thing is, what if I push for her to forgive me and she can’t?” I ask.
“What do you mean?”
“What if I just end up pushing her further away?” I shrug. “At the moment, I would rather be in a room with Ashley while she ignores me than be in a bed with three of the hottest chicks in this party. Another woman is not even an option. I can’t think of anything worse.”
He purses his lips and stares at me.
I shake my head in disgust. “I seriously messed up so bad and I have no idea how to fix it.” I sigh. “If I make a move, I’m fucked. If I don’t make a move, I’m fucked.”
“Have you tried to talk to her?” He frowns.
“Yep. She shuts me down every time, and it’s only since I stopped trying that she has even given me the time of day.”
“Fuck.” He exhales deeply. “I don’t know, man.”
I sip my beer. “Maybe I just need to screw her out of my system. Be happy with co-parenting with her while banging everyone else?”
Joshua nods. “Maybe? What about when she meets someone else? Could you watch her go on and marry someone else and have kids with him?”
I frown as the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. “I couldn’t bear it,” I whisper.
He shakes his head in disgust. “Then get your fucking game on and get her back,” he barks.
“It’s complicated. There’s a kid… a kid of ours. I can’t wreck the friendship. I can’t even risk wrecking the friendship. It’s taken her two months just to make eye contact with me.”
“There is nothing complicated about it. Either you want her or you don’t. Simple as that.”
I watch him.
“She’s gorgeous, Cam. Another fuckwit is going to swoop in and steal her from right under your nose.”
I clench my jaw in anger at the very thought.
Fuck… I couldn’t stand it.
“She’s with Natasha and Adrian now, you know,” he mutters.
I frown. “What? She’s out tonight? With them?”
“Yes.” He smiles and nods at someone walking past us. “I’m meeting them in an hour.”
I watch him as my mind begins to tick.
“So, as I see it, you kinda have two choices,” he continues.
“Which are?”
“You can stay here and fuck some random hot chick.”
I raise my eyebrows at option one.
“Or you come with me and fight for the woman you really want.”
My eyes hold his as I contemplate his two choices.
“What’s it going to be?”
Ashley
The sound of the sexy beat echoes through the bar, and I glance at the security that line the wall. What must it be like to be Natasha or Adrian and constantly be followed by security? It’s Saturday night and Adrian, Tash and I have just had a nice Italian meal and are now in a cocktail bar.
“I’m just telling you this.” Natasha smiles tipsily at me as she sips her Margarita. “You need to get back on the horse and start dating again.”
I roll my eyes. “I’m off men forever.” I glance at Adrian. “No offence, Adrian, but you don’t count.” I smirk.
He smirks and clinks our glasses. “I know, I’m like the anti-man man.”
I giggle into my drink. I’ve just told them that Seb has been asking me out and they are urging me to go on a date with him.
I shake my head in disgust. I’m probably way too drunk to be having this conversation. “Cameron has ruined me for life. How can I ever trust another man?”
Natasha cringes. “Cameron is a good man. He’s just a strong man who doesn’t back down.”
I roll my eyes as I sip my drink.
“If he and Joshua honestly think they’re in the right, they will fight to the death to prove it,” she adds.
“Remember that time you and Cameron had that big fall out?” Adrian asks Natasha.
I frown, confused. Cameron and Natasha always seem so tight, I can’t ever imagine that happening.
“We did.” She nods. “We’ve had lots of arguments in the past. He didn’t speak to me for a long time because of the way I treated Joshua.”
“How did you treat Joshua?”
She widens her eyes and exhales deeply. “God, where do I start? Joshua and I had the most unconventional start to our relationship, and he was a dominating ass.”
“Like Cameron,” I mutter dryly.
“Yes.” She raises her glass. “Exactly like Cameron. Anyway, we broke up and Joshua was heartbroken. Cameron took exception to it and decided he was against me, too.”
I frown.
“The thing is with these two, Ash, is that they’ll be loyal to each other till the death. You couldn’t get two brothers closer than they are. Unfortunately for us, they are also strong, dominant men.”
I sip my drink as I watch her.
“If they think with all of their hearts that they’re right, they won’t give up. They’ll fight to get what they want, and God help the person who stands in their way.”
“How is taking my child the right thing to do?” I ask with a shake of my head.
“Well, they didn’t really know you.” Adrian frowns. “Cameron had said that if something ever happened to Owen and he had been neglectful, he would never have been able to forgive himself.”
“Why didn’t he just ask me if I was alright?”
Natasha narrows her eyes as she thinks. “They have a big trigger with paternity.”
“Why?” I frown.
She shrugs. “Ask Cameron about it, it’s not my place to say. But when it all came out that you’d lied about Owen’s paternity, it set alarm bells ringing for the two of them. You’re not completely innocent in this, either.”
“And don’t forget about TC,” Adrian adds.
“Oh God, yes.” Natasha shakes her head in disgust. “Joshua was bribed once with footage of him and a prostitute for millions of dollars
.”
My eyes widen. “What?” I shriek.
She shakes her head. “That’s why he couldn’t stand the thought of you being put into that same sleazy basket at the club. He couldn’t stand the thought of Owen ever going through that shame as a teenager if it came out later.”
“Why didn’t he just say that?” I practically shout.
“Because he’s a proud man. He’s not going to bring up his insecurities,” she answers.
I shake my head as I sip my drink.
“Cameron is a good man, Ashley,” Natasha replies. “No matter what he’s done in the past, he honestly thought he was looking out for Owen’s best interests at the time.”
I sit for a moment as I think about what they’ve said.
“Speak of the devil.” Adrian smiles.
I look up and see Joshua walking through the crowd with Cameron following behind him.
Our eyes lock.
The look he gives me sends shivers down my spine.
I want you, I’m taking you, and I’m going to fuck you into submission. Is what it’s silently screaming.
Goosebumps scatter. He hasn’t looked at me that way for a long time, and I had honestly forgotten its power.
I swallow the lump in my throat as I watch him approach us through the crowds.
Dear God, Cameron Stanton is here, and the way he is looking at me tells me that I’m in trouble.
Big. Fucking. Trouble.
27
Joshua walks up to us and kisses Natasha, slaps Adrian on the back, and then kisses me on the cheek. “Hello.” He smiles politely before taking a seat next to Natasha.
“Hi.” I smile back awkwardly. I pick up my drink to distract myself from Cameron’s smouldering gaze.
Cameron finally moves and kisses Tash, shakes Adrian’s hand and then moves behind me to lean over and kiss my cheek. “Hey, Bloss,” he whispers into my ear so nobody else can hear.
Shit. Don’t call me that.
“Hi.” I smile awkwardly. He stays behind me with his two hands on my bare shoulders. The heat from his fingers pressing on my skin is searing, and he subtly squeezes my shoulder muscles in between his hands, causing more goosebumps to scatter.
Bloody hell.
He pulls up a stool, sits beside me, and smirks knowingly at my body’s reaction to his touch.
Cut it out, goosebumps, you traitorous bastards.
“How was the pussy party?” Tash asks as she sips her drink.
I look at Cameron. “A pussy party?” I frown.
He laughs out loud—that carefree beautiful laugh—and I feel my stomach flip at the sound.
“It was okay.” He smirks as his drink arrives. “Thank you,” he says as he takes it from the waiter.
“Boring. I would much rather be here with you lot,” Joshua mutters as he picks up his beer.
“That goes without saying.” Adrian grins.
“Why does this surprise you?” Tash adds.
“What the hell is a pussy party?” I frown.
“Pussy on demand,” Adrian says, rolling his eyes.
I shake my head and frown. I’ve heard it all now.
Cameron laughs. “Very poor quality pussy, though.”
My mouth drops open. “How and why do I even know you?” I splutter.
“We have a child together. Remember?” He smiles cheekily. “He’s four years old and he’s insanely good looking… just like his father?”
I smirk. “That was all by chance.”
His eyes dance in delight. “You should have known when you met me that I would have super human sperm.”
The table laughs.
“Now I’ve heard it all,” Adrian grumbles.
“You have super human sperm?” I repeat. “Please? Give me a break.”
He sips his drink. “Yep. It must have tentacles, smashing anything that gets in it’s way like some kind of Ninja Turtle.”
“That would mean you have hundreds of Ninja Turtle sperm children everywhere then?” I smirk.
His face falls, and he fakes a shiver. “No. Just the one. My ninja powers were saved for you and you alone.”
“Nice save,” Joshua says though a small laugh.
I smile as Cameron’s eyes linger on mine a little too long.
Joshua, Tash, and Adrian start talking about something else as Cameron’s eyes drop to my little black dress.
“You look gorgeous, by the way,” he whispers as his eyes drop down my body and he reaches over to adjust the spaghetti strap on my shoulder.
My cheeks heat as he continues to gaze at me.
“Owen’s tucked in bed, fast asleep,” he says as he picks up his drink and takes a sip.
“Did you ring him?”
“Yeah, he was just going to bed. I rang to say goodnight.”
Our eyes stay fixed on each other. I really need to stop drinking. It’s giving me asshole amnesia.
I glance over and see Joshua relaying a story to the other two, and Natasha’s eyes dance with delight as she looks over at me. I frown in question. What are they talking about?
“How about I spin you around that dance floor?” Cameron smiles sexily.
“No, thanks,” I say quickly. There’s no way in hell he is holding me in his arms.
“You know, I’m a ten in the dancing category.”
I smirk. “You don’t have a rating system anymore, Cam.”
“I don’t?”
“Nope.”
His face falls. “Why not?”
“Do you even have to ask?” I reply, deadpan.
His face falls serious as he watches me for a moment. He pauses, as if contemplating which direction to take the conversation. “Are you ready yet?”
“Ready for what?” I frown.
“To talk to me.”
“Cam...” I sigh.
“Don’t Cam me.” He puts his hand on my thigh beneath the table. “I want to address the elephant in the room, Ash. It’s been here for two months and it needs to be discussed.”
“Cam.” I close my eyes. “Just leave it. Nothing needs to be said because I don’t want to hear any of it.”
“We’re heading out of here.” Natasha smiles.
“Oh.” My face falls as my eyes go to them.
Adrian, Joshua, Tash are all standing, and I see Joshua throw Cam a wink. I frown as I turn to watch Cameron.
“I’ll get Ash home safe,” Cam says as he sips his drink.
Tash and Adrian come around to kiss me, and before I can even mutter a word, they are walking through the crowd until they’re completely out of sight.
“That was sudden. What happened there?”
“I asked Joshua to leave me alone with you.”
“What?” I frown. “Why?”
“Because I wanted you all to myself.”
My eyes hold his. “What’s going on here?”
He picks up my hand in my lap. “I want another chance.”
I scowl. What the fuck?
“I want you to give me another chance, Ash.” He leans forward and gently kisses my lips. “We are so good together, Bloss.”
I pull back quickly. “No, Cam.” I shake my head. “What the hell are you doing?”
“I’m trying my best to get a kiss.” His eyes search mine.
“It’s not happening, Cameron.”
“Why not?”
“Because I don’t trust you.”
His face falls and he picks up my fingers to kiss the backs of them. “Please don’t say that,” he whispers.
I watch him kissing me slowly, and I shake my head. “I can’t just turn my feelings back on like a tap when it suits you.”
His eyes hold mine.
“The damage you’ve done is irreversible, Cameron,” I reply sadly. “There is no hope for us to ever work it out now. I warned you back then. Now… I don’t have the same feelings for you that I used to.”
His face falls and he drops his head. Feeling guilty, I squeeze his hand in mine.
“I honestly thought I was doing the right thing, Ash,” he whispers.
“I know you did,” I reply sadly.
His eyes rise to meet mine, and he stays silent.
“But I can’t be with someone who bases their decisions on power.”
He frowns.
“You tried to take Owen from me to show me who was the boss.”
His eyes hold mine. “It wasn’t about the drugs.”
“I know it wasn’t. It was always about me working at the club.”
“I couldn’t stand the thought of Owen having to deal with the consequences of that.”
“So then you talk to me. You tell me what your feelings are and you ask me to leave in an adult fashion.”
He frowns as he listens.
“You don’t give me warnings to leave or else. You don’t just do whatever it takes to get your own way. That is not the way to handle things, Cameron. I know you are a strong man who always gets his way—”
“I don’t,” he interrupts.
I frown. Oh please. “Cam, you’ve had a blessed life. You have brains and you got into med school. You have good looks so you get the women. You have money so you never have to worry. You are in control of everything, and that’s just how you operate.”
He scowls.
I smile sadly. “And that’s great for you.” I swallow the lump in my throat. “But if we ever got back together, I know you would use that power again to control me eventually.”
“I wouldn’t.”
“You would.” I nod. “You don’t even know how you are.”
He shakes his head in disgust. “What are you talking about? How am I?
“You’re entitled.”
He sits back, clearly annoyed at my presumption. “That’s ridiculous. I am not.”
“Aren’t’ you?” I smile sarcastically. “What about right now, Cameron? You have decided that we should try again and you feel you are entitled to a second chance.”
His eyes hold mine.
“I don’t like that part of you, Cam. I will never like that part of you. It’s not how I’m going to live my life.”
He sits back as he watches me, inhaling slowly. He’s angry and wants to fight back, I can tell, but he’s using everything he can to not snap at me.
“You lied to me, too, Ashley. You didn’t tell me about Owen.”
“I was trying to get to know you first,” I whisper.
