by Amy Harmon
“Don’t forget the banana cream pie,” Ben said.
“Right. She even made a banana cream pie. Just before the steaks were finished, she and Ben were setting the table and suddenly there was a huge explosion. Janessa dropped the bowl of salad and it shattered on the floor. The explosion had come from the oven. Janessa shrieked and said they needed to evacuate the building because it was probably a gas line or something. She almost cried when Ben walked to the oven door and started to open it.”
“I thought he was going to explode, too,” Janessa said.
“When Ben opened the oven, he found the remains of two baked potatoes. They’d exploded and were all over the oven.”
“There’s still potato bits burned onto the roof of the oven,” Janessa said.
“Don’t tell them that. They’ll think we never clean,” I said.
“I had no idea you needed to stick a fork in a potato before you baked it.”
“You know now,” Ben said and kissed Janessa.
When all the stories had been shared, a happy buzz overtook the room as assorted conversations took place over fried ice cream and flan.
“It’s a beautiful thing when two families find each other like this.” Ben’s brother Sam had slid into the empty chair beside me.
“I didn’t think your families knew each other,” I said.
“We didn’t. Tonight’s the first night everyone’s been together. My parents met Janessa’s parents when they got engaged and some of us have met a relative here and there, but this is the first big family gathering.”
“It’s amazing how well everyone gets along. They’re all having so much fun together.” I knew if I married Matt, we’d never be able to have a gathering like this. Our wedding would be awkward and stilted at best. I imagined babies coming and each family trying to avoid the other. I pictured school plays where we sat between two families who had nothing in common. It made me sad and suddenly I was glad I was here to enjoy this alone. Would Matt enjoy the easy banter, the familiar jokes, the sarcasm? I didn’t know and I was glad I didn’t have to worry about it and could just enjoy the evening.
“Janessa said you were bringing your boyfriend.”
“I was. He got held up in Seattle. But he’ll be here tomorrow.”
“That’s good.”
We sat quietly for a minute, both of us watching Ben and Janessa.
“They’re so good together,” I said as they laughed at something just between the two of them.
“They’re lucky to have found each other,” Sam said.
“Hey Sam,” a cousin called from two tables over. “You were on that rafting trip in Idaho. Come settle this bet.”
“I guess I’d better go keep the peace.” He scooted back his chair. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
* * *
“Sorry Matt couldn’t come tonight,” Janessa said a few hours later. We were sprawled out in her childhood bedroom. Her twin bed had been replaced a few years ago by a queen bed to accommodate company. Tonight we were staying here, our last official sleepover before she became Mrs. Stapleton.
“I’m not,” I said. Janessa rolled onto her stomach to look at me but I kept staring at the star-filled ceiling. “Remember when we hung all those?” I asked pointing at the white plastic stars. When the lights were off, they’d glow, but in the light of the two lamps, they looked flat and childish.
“I remember. Mom didn’t think they’d actually work and she made me promise if they didn’t I’d take them all down myself.”
“How many are there? A hundred?”
“At least. I bought four packages. I don’t remember how many were in each package.” Janessa studied my face. “Why are you glad Matt wasn’t here?” I shrugged. “Not an answer,” she said.
“I don’t know. I just think it was more fun without him.”
“Really? Why?”
I propped myself up on my elbows. “Janessa, tonight is not about Matt. Or me. It’s about you. And you looked beautiful tonight. And so happy. I’m so happy for you.”
“Thanks. And since tonight is about me, I get to decide what we talk about. And I want to know why you’re glad Matt couldn’t come.” She sat up and crossed her legs facing me.
“You’re so manipulative,” I said without any irritation.
“I know. So out with it.”
I sat up and faced her. “It just wouldn’t have been as fun. He doesn’t joke a lot or laugh like that. I just think it was more comfortable this way.” Janessa nodded. “I can’t imagine my family and Matt’s family getting along the way your families do. I can’t imagine a rehearsal dinner that’s so much fun.”
Janessa was quiet for a minute before she spoke again. “Lizzie, you know I love you, right?”
“Uh oh,” I said with a smile.
“You know, right?”
“Yes,” I said. “I know.”
“Then I want to tell you something and I don’t want you to get mad. No storming out and leaving me without a maid of honor. Promise?”
“I promise.”
She took both my hands in hers. “Matt isn’t right for you.”
Where did those tears come from? Tonight was happy and I was with my best friend. Why were tears suddenly streaming down my face?
“You’re supposed to be with someone fun,” she continued. “Someone cheerful and that can make you smile. Not someone stodgy and uptight and worried about appearances. Matt might be a great guy for someone else. But not for you.”
“I know,” I whispered.
“You do?” Janessa’s face looked so shocked I almost laughed.
“I was watching you two tonight and I saw the way Ben looked at you.” And then it hit me like the pin bursting the balloon. “He looks at you like Mr. Darcy looks at Elizabeth,” I said, more to myself than to Janessa.
“That’s because he adores me,” Janessa said matter-of-factly.
“I don’t think Matt will ever look at me like that.” Fresh tears flowed.
“That’s because he’s not the right man for you, Lizzie. Somewhere out there is a man who will look at you the way Ben looks at me. The way Mr. Darcy looked at Elizabeth.” Janessa rolled her eyes as she said that. She was so tired of my obsession with Mr. Darcy, I knew it was only with great effort that she acknowledged him at all.
“I’m such a fool,” I said. “I based my entire life on a in a movie.”
Janessa hugged me. “Lucky for you, you’re only twenty-three and you haven’t married the wrong person. Yet. Don’t let it happen.”
“I won’t.”
* * *
The wedding was beautiful. The mood from the rehearsal dinner carried over, but in a warm and muted way. The men wore cocoa brown suits. The women wore shades of lavender and violet. Flowers perfumed the air and the sun was shining. Matt smiled at me as I walked in ahead of Janessa. I smiled back.
After the ceremony, in which the minister only made Janessa and Ben kiss once, we reassembled at Janessa’s grandfather’s house. His sweeping backyard was trimmed and manicured. A large tent was set up for dinner and dancing. Benches and chairs were placed around the yard for easy visiting.
“Everything is so beautiful,” I said as I stood with Matt at the edge of the tent.
“It’s very nice,” Matt said. “Mom will probably want to have ours at the country club. We’ll probably want to have something here and there.”
I looked at Matt, shocked. He smiled. This was going to be much harder than I’d thought.
The reception dragged on. The atmosphere was fun, the food delicious, and I managed my maid-of-honor duties without a problem, but deep in my stomach, a knot had formed. At first it was just a little slipknot, but as the festivities continued, it became more tangled and bigger and tighter. By the time we danced I could hardly speak.
At some point, Janessa grabbed my hand. “Come help me change to leave,” she said. I was relieved to get away from the reception. I helped Janessa change out of her lacy dress and into a 195
0’s looking silk suit, complete with a little veiled hat.
“You look so good,” I said and kissed her cheek. “I love you.”
“I love you, too. Now listen.” Janessa took me by the shoulders and made me look at her. “You can do what you have to do. Be brave. Don’t mess up your future because you’re afraid to change your dream.”
This was the second time in a month someone had told me I could change my dream. I knew it was true. I knew what I had to do.
“I won’t. Now don’t worry about me.”
“Lizzie, I’ll always worry about you. I can’t help it. I worry because I love you so much.”
We held each other close and then walked down to the driveway, where I relinquished her hand to Ben.
* * *
“I’ll bet you’re tired,” Matt said as he drove me home.
“A little.”
“You should sleep in tomorrow and then let’s go see a movie and get some dinner,” Matt said.
I sat up straighter in my seat and turned toward him. “Actually, can we go somewhere and talk?” I asked.
“Sure. We can do that instead of a movie.”
“No, not tomorrow. I mean right now.”
“Oh.” Matt looked at me with a curious expression. “Where do you want to go?”
“Anywhere is fine,” I said. I didn’t want to lose the little storehouse of courage Janessa had given me. “Actually let’s go right there. To that park.”
“It’s getting cold and you don’t have a jacket.”
“We can just sit in the car.”
Matt pulled into the parking lot and turned off the car. “What’s going on, Elizabeth?”
I took a deep breath and jumped in. “I don’t think this is working.”
“What’s not working?”
“This. Us. I don’t think we’re right for each other.”
Matt looked like I’d just sucker punched him. “What do you mean?”
“Matt, we’re not right for each other. We’ll never make each other wildly, gloriously happy.”
“I’m happy, Elizabeth.”
I felt sick inside. I didn’t want to hurt him but I wasn’t the right girl for him and he wasn’t the right guy for me. “Matt, I wish you could have seen the dinner last night.”
“Elizabeth, I’ve apologized for missing the dinner. I should have been here. If I’d known how upset you were going to be, I’d have come home and then gone back later.”
“Matt, it isn’t that. I’m not upset. And I didn’t say that to make you feel guilty. I said it because if you’d have been there last night, you’d have seen what blissfully happy people look like. It’s the way they look at each other and the way they take care of each other. It’s the way their families were together. Matt, we won’t ever have that. No matter how hard we try.”
“Is this because of our families?”
I shrugged. “Maybe a little. But if we felt like Ben and Janessa, our families wouldn’t even matter. If we felt like they do, you wouldn’t care what I do for a living. I wouldn’t care what your mom thinks of me. It wouldn’t matter if every family function was hard and uncomfortable because we’d have each other and that would be all that matters. But that’s not how we are.”
Matt was silent. In just moments his shock was mutating to anger. His jaw was clenched and his hands gripped the steering wheel.
“You’ll be happier with someone else,” I said softly.
“Are you serious?” he asked and I nodded. “Do you realize how angry I’ve made my parents, especially my mother? Do you realize how careful I’ve been to protect you from the wrath of almost everyone in my life? And this is the thanks I get?”
I started to cry. “I don’t want you to have to do that.”
“Well, I did. I was protecting you from my mom. I’ve even had to protect you from Alan and Meg.”
Matt shook his head. I reached my hand over and touched his arm. “I’m sorry.”
Matt pulled away from my touch and shook his head.
“So am I,” he said.
Matt turned on the ignition and peeled out of the parking lot. He drove much too fast and soon we were in front of my apartment. He put the car in park but didn’t turn it off or get out. He didn’t even look at me.
“Matt, I really am sorry.”
“Don’t be. Life just got a lot easier for me.”
I sat there a moment, unsure what to do. I didn’t want to leave things ugly between us but I couldn’t offer any hope. If Matt even wanted any hope. I couldn’t tell if he was more hurt or more angry.
“Get out Elizabeth.”
“Matt…”
“Goodbye, Elizabeth.”
I bit my lip and opened the door. I’d barely closed it before Matt pulled away from the curb. He didn’t look back.
Chapter Thirty
Clouds and rain kept my room dark the next morning and I didn’t awaken until nearly noon. The house was quiet and I missed Janessa, but I felt calm and happy. When I thought about Matt, I felt sad for the way things had ended but I felt no regret.
Thoughts of Chad danced through my mind. I wanted to call or text him. I even considered driving to his house, but decided I should wait. The change in my circumstances felt too new and it seemed important that I take some time. I wanted to move forward with purpose and deliberation, not just run to Chad in a knee-jerk sort of way.
For three days it rained but the rain couldn’t dampen my spirits. The future held the promise of love and happiness and I greeted it with patience and contentment.
A few days after my breakup with Matt, I looked up from my window at the bank and there was Meg. I hadn’t seen anyone from The Pink Salamander in the days since the wedding and I’d been dreading the time when Matt would appear. But it wasn’t Matt who stood at the end of the line. It was Meg and she was watching me.
Meg’s stare unsettled me a little and although I tried not to look at her, my eyes seemed pulled there like they were on a leash. Her gaze didn’t waver and as she moved closer to the teller windows, her mouth curved up in a smile. Or was it a sneer? It was difficult to tell.
When it was her turn, she stepped up to Courtney’s window. I breathed a sigh of relief that she hadn’t come to mine. I had nothing I wanted to say to her and she certainly could say nothing I wanted to hear.
Meg finished her transaction at the same time as the stooped grandmother in my line finished hers. Before the little old woman had even hobbled away, Meg stepped over.
“Patience, my dear,” the old woman said and patted Meg on the arm. Meg kept her glare fixed on me as she brushed the lady off.
“Hi Meg,” I said.
“You’re crazy,” Meg said and shook her head.
I wasn’t sure what to say to that, especially not knowing what Matt had told Meg. “Is Matt okay?” I asked.
Meg hmphed. “Matt’s great. His life is a lot better without you,” she said. I wondered if she meant her life was better but I didn’t say it. I noticed Delia watching us.
“Can I help you with anything else?” I smiled and kept my voice friendly. No sense creating a scene.
Meg shook her head, her eyes flashing sparks of hate. “I told him good riddance, but you’re crazy. Don’t think you can come back when you come to your senses. He’s through slumming.”
With that, Meg turned and walked away, her high, strappy sandals clicking as she walked.
* * *
My phone rang as I walked into the bank on Thursday morning. I paused just outside the door to answer it.
“Hello Lizzie. This is Emma Cho.”
“Hi Emma.
“Could you come see me today when you get off work?”
“Of course.”
“Wonderful. It won’t take long. I just want to talk to you about something.”
It was difficult to concentrate the rest of the day. Two weeks earlier I’d told Emma I’d like to accept her offer. I hadn’t spoken to her since. With the busyness of the wedding and
no potential jobs in sight, there hadn’t been much to say. I hoped she wasn’t already unhappy with our arrangement.
A couple was looking at lamps when I walked into the showroom.
Seth, one of the designers was working behind the counter. He smiled when he saw me. “Emma’s in her office.”
Emma’s office door was open, so I knocked on the doorframe.
“Lizzie, come in. Have a seat.” I sat across the desk from her. “I have some news,” she said, her hands clasped on the desk in front of her.
“Good news?” I asked.
“I think you’ll like it.” I sat forward in the chair. “Alexis and her husband are moving to Los Angeles.” She smiled.
“Alexis?” I asked.
“One of my designers. She’s been here for a little more than four years. Her husband just accepted a job offer in L.A. That means I have a full-time spot for you.”
“Are you serious?”
Emma smiled. “I certainly am. In fact, Alexis has a couple of clients she’d like to introduce you to.”
“So I’ll actually be working here?” I asked. “Soon?”
“Alexis is leaving in three weeks. If you give a two-week notice tomorrow, you’ll have a week to work with Alexis so she can get you up to speed on all her projects. That is, if you accept my offer of employment.”
“I accept. Wow! Do I ever accept!”
“Excellent. I’m sad to see Alexis leave but I’m delighted to be able to hire you.”
I gave my notice the next morning.
* * *
The teenager at the front desk smiled. “They’re in room 326. Just take the elevator to the third floor and then turn right. It’s straight down that hall.”
