by Rose, Dahlia
“That must have been hard being so young,” he murmured.
“Is that caring coming from Loki?” Vivi said, amazed.
Loki made a disgusted sound. “We’re back to that, are we? You know nothing about me, only what you’ve read in books. I care for my family and I’m a trustworthy friend. So I like to play and cause a bit of a ruckus wherever I go? If more people would embrace their devilish side, the world would be a happier one.”
“Really? So murderers should kill and rapists rape?” Vivi retorted.
He leaned forward over the table. “Don’t be blatantly naive. I don’t think people should be hurt. I actually like humans—they are fun to play with. My cousins are both married to mortal women. Well, they were mortal when they met and fell in love, and I care for them deeply. They actually take the time to talk to me instead of believing foolish misconceptions. And I’m allowed around their children and haven’t eaten any of them or caused them harm, I must point out.”
“So what are they now?” Vivi asked, ignoring his comment about eating the kids. If she still wanted to eat her dinner, it was best to ignore that.
“Who?”
“Your cousins’ wives. You said they were once human,” Vivi reminded him. She was fascinated by him and would never be able to deny her attraction to him. Warning bells signaled in her head at that knowledge.
“When a human goes to Valhalla, it slowly changes them to be like us,” Loki explained. “They are now immortal. When they married Jack and Nick they accepted the gift of eternal life from Odin.”
“So I was correct about your cousins? Nick is Santa Claus and Jack is Mr. Frost himself?”
“Yes on both points,” Loki said as their food arrived. She had the grilled salmon on rice pilaf, while he had one of the biggest steaks she’d ever seen. He had ordered no side dishes, just a steak.
Vivi laughed. “Who would have thought? Santa really has a Mrs. Claus. What about you, Loki, any wife and kids waiting for you when you go back to the cold?”
As she took a bite of her food, she watched his eyes grow distant and cold. She almost shivered at the change apparent on his face.
“No, and there will never be one. I’ve seen my family fall prey to that emotion,” Loki said. “It’s a ploy to weaken and manipulate each other. I refuse to play the game.”
“That seems so very jaded,” Vivi said.
“What you call jaded I call honesty. Would you rather a man tell you all the right things and then disappoint you months later?” Loki asked. “Any woman in my life hears this from the very beginning then she makes her choice to be with me or not. Either way, it won’t be a permanent thing.”
“I’m sorry,” she said simply and watched his eyes widen in surprise.
“Why are you sorry?” He cut into his steak and put a piece in his mouth.
“For whatever it was in your life that left you so hurt that you refuse to even consider letting love in,” Vivi answered honestly. “Love is not a tool and it can only enhance your life when you meet that perfect someone.”
“Don’t feel sorry for me. I like my life just the way it is,” Loki said simply.
“Somehow I don’t think you do,” she murmured. “Oh, and before you ask, no, there is no special someone yet, but I will never stop looking.”
“Well, hurrah for you.” Loki grinned.
She couldn’t help but smile and pointed her fork at him. “Don’t be snide. It’s not becoming.”
“Don’t be an incurable romantic. I may break out in hives.” His voice was droll when he spoke.
She couldn’t help but laugh. Vivi liked him. She had to admit, his candor was refreshing. She didn’t have to look at him and wonder what he was thinking because he openly said it. He was flawed, but still spoke of family and how he cared for them all.
“Why do you dress as an elf if you are part of the higher society New Yorkers seem to love?” Loki posed the question and brought her from her thoughts.
“Because I don’t want to be a part of that elitist horse crap,” Vivi said mildly. She looked down at the elf costume she still wore. She didn’t care what people thought. “My parents were well-off. My dad was a judge in the appellate courts and my mom was vice president of Schmidt, Parker, and Gallant. She had her name on the front doors in gold.”
“Where are your parents now?” he asked.
“Killed when I was sixteen. Their boat capsized in the Hamptons. It was a freak storm,” she explained. “Then the family lawyer was my caretaker until I was twenty-one. The sick bastard wanted me to marry him so he could keep his hands on my parent’s money.”
“What happened?” She noticed Loki wasn’t eating anymore and was idly moving the pieces of meat around on his plate.
“My mom and dad were teaching me law before I even started high school, and my dad gave me a head for business. I played stupid and let him spend money on trips and his women until he got court papers.” Vivi grinned. “That wiped the smile clean off his face and at eighteen I overturned the will and was making my own financial decisions. One of the first things I did was form a charity in my parents’ names since they loved Christmas so much.”
“Still doesn’t explain the elf,” Loki said.
Vivi laughed. “I do it because I like it. I work hard all year until December, then that’s my time. I work with the charity I created and set up Santa visits to foster homes, low income housing, and to people who wouldn’t have a Christmas for their children and families otherwise. And I get to dance around Barneys in a green suit.”
“It’s very becoming on you, by the way.” Loki smiled.
Vivi winked at him. “So I’ve heard.”
“What happened to the lawyer who was zealously spending his way through your inheritance?” Loki drained his glass before lifting his hand and the waiter came over almost instantly with a fresh drink.
“He probably still lives in the Hamptons somewhere, sucking off another rich teat.” Vivi took a sip of her own drink, which was now watered-down considerably.
“He wanted to marry you. Did he try to—”
She cut him off. “He failed.”
“So that means—”
“He failed,” she repeated in a voice that she hoped said she didn’t want to talk about it.
He inclined his head. “Very well. May I ask his name?”
“Why?” she asked warily.
“In case we ever meet, so I will know who the bastard is,” Loki said mildly.
“Jonas Waverly,” Vivi said. “Even though he is scum and I don’t like him, that doesn’t mean I want to see him hurt.”
The rest of dinner went rather well. They talked, shared stories, and Loki told her more about his home. By the time they walked out of the restaurant, she was laughing with Loki like they were old friends. She pulled her coat around herself tightly and fixed her scarf around her neck so she wouldn’t freeze on her walk home. Winter and what seemed like subzero temperatures in Times Square didn’t mean it was any less busy, but oddly, right now, the streets seemed deserted. People were probably enjoying the warmth of the various eateries and attractions that kept them out of the cold.
“Let me escort you home,” Loki said.
“No, thank you.” Vivi smiled. “I don’t live too far from Times Square. It’s about a five minute walk from here.”
“Very well,” Loki said and reached out his hand. “Good-bye, Vivienne. It has been an interesting night.”
She smiled again and took a step toward him to take his hand. The wedge heel of her shoe caught on the pavement and a startled cry escaped her as felt herself falling forward. Loki caught her in his arms and she clutched at his broad biceps as he helped her to her feet.
“I am so sorry. I wish this city would fix the uneven pavement…” Her words died on her lips as she looked up and met his intense, dark green gaze.
“Stop looking at me like that,” he murmured.
Vivi shook her head. “I’m not looking at you in any kind of
way.”
“Hmm. So be it.”
That’s the last thing he said before his lips descended to hers and Loki kissed her. Vivi immersed herself in his taste and in the deep haze of just him and her, and she remembered thinking that a man shouldn’t be allowed to taste so good. Then she remembered that he was another kind of being, a second natured. But when his tongue slipped deep into her mouth she forgot even that.
He made a sound in his throat, a mix between a growl and a moan, and pulled her closer. Vivi slipped her fingers in his long lush hair and felt him shudder. He liked it and it thrilled her. She did it again, pulling slightly this time, just to feel his body tremble. Suddenly, he pushed her away and glared at her, breathing hard.
“I don’t want this,” Loki snarled. “I don’t do love and affection. All those emotions that mortals crave, it sickens me. Do you understand me?”
“I understand that you felt something and that scares you,” Vivi retorted.
He grabbed her shoulders and gave her a little shake, laughing harshly. “Vivienne, just because you can see us in our true form doesn’t make you special. It makes you an oddity that makes people like us curious. If it isn’t me, it will be someone else who will fuck you and then laugh at your puny weak body as you lie beneath them. Is that what you want?”
“Let me go,” Vivi said softly.
“Why? This is what you want, isn’t it? To feel like you belong? Well, you’re a freak to mortals and you’re one to us too,” Loki said cruelly.
Vivi refused to let him see the hurt she was feeling. “You may love your family and play with the children, but you’re dead inside. This is why your cousins have families and you wander the world looking for something to entertain you like a spoiled child who breaks his toys. I may be a freak, but tomorrow I’ll get up and do something that makes me happy and fulfills me, and I will laugh with people who love me. I’ll go to bed with a smile on my face and wake up to the same thing the next day. What you will have is nothing but the empty, hard feeling that’s like a rock in your chest. Merry Christmas, Loki, I hope your endless solitude brings you joy.”
Vivi turned and walked away with her head held high and didn’t look back even when she felt his stare. She knew the exact moment he disappeared—it was a pop in her ears and then she let out her breath and her back slumped. He was right. She was a freak. It was just her dumb luck that the first connection she’d had in a long time was with a second natured and the demigod Loki no less. Life definitely had a cruel sense of humor sometimes.
Chapter Three
Loki transported himself to a place where he could think, away from people. Central park. Though it was usually filled with people, it had snowed a few days earlier and now the beautiful landscape was an ice-encrusted mess of murky grays and blacks blended in with the once-pristine white.
“Damn human woman,” he muttered. In a fit of rage he punched the center of the tree closest to him, and it cracked in half like it was made of matchsticks. Before the large tree could fall, he snapped his fingers angrily and the tree was its old self once more. He continued walking, though marching like he was in military drills was more like it. Vivienne elicited feelings in him that he certainly didn’t like. He had flings, nothing more, but that was not what he felt when he kissed her. It was like an electric shock, a punch to the heart and groin.
Why do I want to do it again and again? he wondered to himself. There had been many women in his life who kissed him and it was nice, but nothing like her kiss had been. Something about her knowing his faults and seeing his true self appealed to him. Yet the way he felt terrified him because he’d never felt anything like it before. No, that wasn’t true. Once he felt it and it almost crippled him and Loki had almost lost everything that he held dear. To this day he still dealt with the fallout. The stares and the whispers behind his back, the looks of distrust on everyone’s face and only a few knew the truth. If Vivienne knew the truth of why he was called the prince of chaos, maybe she would have less to accuse him of.
Loki made an impulsive decision. He closed his eyes and thought of where he needed to be. He felt the cold, wet snowflakes touch his face and smiled. Home. He could’ve blinked himself into the warmth of the great hall, but instead he walked across the snow-covered landscape of the North Pole as casually as if he was taking a spring stroll through the park. He was so deep in thought that he didn’t notice that his journey took him to the greenhouses until he was standing at the door. He turned the knob and stepped inside and was instantly assaulted by the smell of rich soil, flowers, fruits, and vegetables. The greenhouses were Joko’s domain, and she grew everything herself. When walking through the large room, one could find the rarest of orchids to the simplest of snap peas. He trailed his hands along the petals of a flower mindlessly and wondered if Vivienne’s skin felt the same.
“Loki in my green house? This is quite an honor.” Joko’s voice held humor and happiness. She always managed to make him smile even in his worst moods.
“It looks like you have added on.” Loki walked into her embrace and her warmth enveloped him. “How are you, Aunt?”
“You should call me mother by now, Loptr,” Joko said fondly. “I raised you, after all.”
“I don’t think the others would be too happy hearing me call you that,” Loki commented.
“They do not care and even if they did it wouldn’t matter. To me, you are my son,” Joko said. “I didn’t expect to see you until the festivals. I thought you were in the city of New York, enjoying the tall buildings and beautiful women?”
“I decided to come home early,” Loki said. “Asgard may be more fun.”
“Hmm. What happened, did you have a bit too much fun?” Joko said knowingly and held out her hand. “Walk with me.”
He chuckled and took her hand. “No, I was actually stopped by a mortal who can see us, our true nature.”
Joko looked up at him, startled. “Are you sure?”
Loki nodded. “She called me out for my nefarious deeds and named my mother and father. She used the old names.”
Joko laughed softly. “I like her already. It’s very, very rare for a mortal to see us. Did she scare you and that’s why you came home?”
“On the contrary, she intrigued me and I took her out to dinner,” Loki said. “I kissed her, Aunt.”
“Ah, and you actually felt something,” Joko said.
“I was cruel to her, called her a freak and told her she wasn’t wanted by her kind and would only be used by mine,” Loki admitted.
“If you were not bigger than I was I would turn you over my knee like I did when you were boys,” Joko said angrily. “I know you are mischievous, but you were never cruel. You go back and apologize.”
Loki stopped and looked down at the woman who raised him along with her own children. They were all a handful, but she kept them in line with a firm hand.
“Aunt, even if I could, she would never speak to me again,” Loki said. “And maybe I don’t want to apologize. I like who I am.”
“No, you don’t.” Joko sat on a bench and pulled him down next to her. “You let the myth become the man and not the other way around. We all know why your path changed and you kept on walking. Loptr, the reason you embraced being the mischief-maker so easily is because you wouldn’t have to try to be anything else. You found it to be the easiest path to take after what happened before.”
“She’s a Goody Two-shoes. Her parents died when she was young and the family lawyer tried to marry her for the money. I think he may have abused her.” Just thinking about it made Loki angry. “She uses her money for charity and works as a Christmas elf, no less.”
“She sounds wonderful.” Joko smiled. “Maybe you should spend the holidays with her.”
“I would prefer to be in Asgard. It is less complicated,” Loki said.
“Yes, I remember how much you loved the old ways when Odin had his many wives, the servant girls, the debauchery,” Joko said. “But you’ve seen your brothers
—”
“Cousins,” Loki interjected.
His response got him a pinched ear and he winced, remembering how many times it happened as a child.
“As I was saying, the others found love, all except Thor. He is still sowing his wild oats,” Joko said. “I suspect that this girl made you feel alive for the first time in a long time, since…well, we won’t speak of it. But you are doing yourself a disservice by not seeing this through.”
“Aunt, I’m not meant for love,” Loki said softly, unwilling to believe. “I’m the father of chaos, the—”
“Shut up, Loptr. You are believing your own myth again,” Joko snapped. She stood and held his face between her hands, forcing him to look into her face. He loved her immortal beauty and the way she looked at him with no judgment at all. “Loptr, I know your heart and it’s not as cold as you would like people to think. It’s been centuries. It’s time to let someone else in and it may be this mortal.”
“Her name is Vivienne,” Loki said.
Joko nodded and smiled. “Vivienne it is. A beautiful name. Try for me, Loptr, please just try.”
Loki nodded. “Yes, Mother.”
It was the very first time he used that term to refer to the woman who had raised him. A smile beamed across her face and that alone made him vow to use the term more often. “See, already I like the change. Will you stay for a meal at the great table?”
“No, I think I’ll head back to the tall buildings,” Loki answered.
“Very well. I send you away with my love,” Joko said.
She kissed his forehead and he was again reminded of his childhood. It seemed so long ago, thousands of mortal years, but still it felt like yesterday. He left the greenhouse and walked across the snow crunching underfoot, feeling better and lighter than he’d felt in a long time. He’d been avoiding anything to do with love and emotional attachment for a long time. Maybe it was time to let someone in. An amazing creature named Vivienne, to be exact. Loki decided he would take Joko’s advice.
Feeling suddenly inspired, instead of making a beeline to Vivienne, he instead blinked himself to the Hamptons. Jonas Waverly needed a little havoc in his life as far as Loki was concerned. Vivienne said she didn’t want him harmed, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t make him suffer just a little. Being immortal had its perks. He didn’t need a phone book to find who he looked for. Just concentration on the name would give the exact location, and he’d transport there.
