“Your dad would love that,” Lyssa snorted.
“Thanks, Grandma. I love you.” I choked up a little as she hugged me tight. I swallowed hard, but couldn’t seem to get rid of the lump in my throat.
“I love you too, sweetheart. I really think this will help. Call me if you need anything.”
I could feel my eyes burn as we walked out to the car. I refused to cry, but it was all I could do not to run back to the house and beg her to let me stay.
“Are you gonna need help with your ritual?” Lyssa asked, looking up from the papers Grandma had given me.
“Thanks, Lyss,” I said. “Actually, I kinda feel like I need to do this alone.”
I also realized that I was going to have to find a handy spot to hide what Grandma had given to me, and I was definitely going to have to do it while Dad was out. I knew that there was no way he was going to be cool with any of this. Well, there went wearing my hair in a ponytail, not to mention tank tops. I mean, it was New Mexico. That was practically all I owned.
As I dropped the twins off, they sweetly repeated their offer to help. I was really touched by it, but at the same time something inside me was telling me that this ritual needed to be private. I spent the rest of the ride home formulating a dinner plan.
I went into the house and started dinner while Dad sat at the kitchen table catching up on his paperwork. He taught natural sciences at Western New Mexico University. That was yet another reason why I knew he wouldn’t understand about me. Scientists had been trying for years to find some kind of mutant gene or something to explain shape-shifting, and so far they hadn’t come up with anything. I mean nothing. I didn’t blame him in the least. His brain needed proof and there just wasn’t any. End of story.
“That smells amazing,” Dad said, putting a pile of papers on the counter. “What’s for dinner?”
“We’re having stuffed shells with sauce and garlic bread.”
“Mmm, sounds great. I don’t know how you do it,” he said, as he smiled at me.
“I don’t know either,” I muttered. “I like to cook. It relaxes me.” This was actually true. But I dunno. It was something about working with my hands. And even though Dad thought I was some kind of culinary genius, a lot of the recipes I used were ones that my loser-mom had left behind. (Guess they don’t eat in Las Vegas.) Grandma had given me quite a few over the years as well and—voilà! Instant teenage chef.
“You headed out pretty early this morning,” Dad said. “Where were you off to?”
“The twins had an intramural game this morning, and then I brought them up with me to see Grandma. They hadn’t seen her in months,” I added, “so they really wanted to go.”
“Listen, honey, you don’t need to make excuses or give a reason for wanting to see Rosa. She’s an important part of your life. I don’t have a problem with it, you know that. Just make sure you stick to the weekend-only rule.”
Yikes.
“I know. I just...I feel bad about it sometimes, I don’t know, like I’m reminding you of things from the past that you’d rather forget.”
“I know you do. You know, sometimes I worry about you. You have a tendency to want to take care of everyone around you except yourself.” He cleared this throat. “But I’m the adult around here. Let me worry about you for a change, okay?”
“’Kay,” I said. I knew he was right. And he really was a great dad. I mean, he basically had been both parents to me for most of my life. But I also knew it didn’t mean he would understand about me being a shifter. I just knew he wouldn’t. It would scare him. Hell, it scared me!
It was also Saturday night, which meant he would be in the lab working on research. Which also meant tonight would be the perfect chance to work my first ritual. After dinner, I sat on my bed looking over Grandma’s instructions. It didn’t look particularly difficult. I don’t know why I was nervous. I’m not sure exactly what I thought was going to happen. I mean, we’re Catholic, and we went to mass, and mass is a ritual. It’s not like if you prayed to a saint he would just show up and introduce himself.
Never having seen one before, I was kind of unsure about using the little incense burner. It was just a small tea candle with a little tray for the copal suspended above it. I set it on my desk (not having an altar), took three pieces of the resin out of the baggie, and placed them in the tray. Then I lit the candle. A minute or two later, I noticed that the copal had melted into a liquid. I began to smell its sweet scent.
I went over to my window and opened it to be sure that any negative energy would have a way to leave my room. Then I stood next to the incense and placed my hands above the copal to let the incense purify them. I cupped my hands and wafted the incense toward the rest of my body as best I could. Then I began to recite the blessing that I had first heard my Grandma use when I was a little girl. I noticed that she had written in a few changes to the beginning on the sheet, so that it could be used for my specific purpose.
“Balam,” I began, “you follow me in and out of shadows, a spirit that manifests in form. Knowing that your spirit is within me, guide me, great One.”
I fidgeted for a moment as I tried to get my bearings and remember where north was so I could continue. Once I found it, I put the candles on my desk then placed each colored candle at its correct cardinal point. Then I turned toward the east. Lighting the red candle, I said, “Fire, you represent warmth and knowledge. May you bring me the gift of wisdom.” From there, turning north, I lit the white candle. “Air, you give us life. May we learn to live in harmony.” Next I faced west and lit the black candle, saying, “Earth, you give us stability. Lend me your strength so that I may do what must be done.” Then I turned to the south. I lit the yellow candle and said, “Water, you cleanse and purify. Give me the clarity to see through my emotions so that I may unite with my Nagual.”
But I knew I wasn’t finished yet. Grandma had taught me that we had two souls: our human one and that of our nagual. My spirit was already soaring, as I concluded the invocations. “And may I be one with my Jaguar soul!”
As the last words came out of my mouth, Balam’s face flashed before me several times. At first, this made me feel slightly dizzy, but after a moment, figuring I had just imagined it, I walked to my desk and blew out the candle to let the resin cool off and harden again. I felt lighter than I had in weeks. I walked into the bathroom and looked at the back of my neck in the mirror. It was strange. I was in such shock the first time I saw my mark, and I was so confused about why it wasn’t of my nagual. But now as I looked at it, it seemed more as though it was part of me. Like it belonged there. I was still curious about why it was different, but I didn’t feel stressed about it now. And, almost instinctively, I knew that Balam was sending me the strength to accept it as it was.
~ ~ ~
The twins were coming to the house later so we could have our weekly Gleek-a-thon. We’re total Gleeks. I love me some Matthew Morrison! (Leave it to me to have a huge crush on an actor named Matt playing a Spanish teacher. Ha!) We had a rule that none of us was allowed to watch Glee during the week. We DVR’d it and then took turns watching it at each other’s houses on Saturday. So when the doorbell rang, you can imagine how surprised I was when I opened the front door and found Matt standing on the doorstep.
“Hey, Matt, what’s up?”
“Hey, My, do you mind if I come in for a sec?” He smiled with those dimples, and suddenly I was totally unable to put two coherent thoughts together.
“Uh, yeah, sure.” Brilliant. I let him in and we walked around the corner and into the living room and plunked down on the couch.
“I know, I usually call to make plans,” he said, “but I was just on my way to Josh’s and I saw your car in the driveway. You didn’t come to the game.”
“I know. I’m sorry. I had...I just had something really important that I had to do. You know, family stuff. There was no way I could get out of it. Please, please, don’t think this has anything to do with not wanting to
see you play.”
“Okay, if you’re sure. I just figured you’d be there.”
“I’m really sorry.” I suck, I suck, I suck. “It wasn’t some kind of anti-football protest, I promise. I went to your last game,” I reminded him.
“You’re right. I know you can’t be at every one.” He took my hand, and I grinned at him like a huge idiot. Then with his other hand he moved a few stray strands of hair away from my face. I thought my heart was going to pound right out of my chest. “Your hair is so amazing,” he said. He leaned in and brushed his lips gently against my cheek and then lightly over my lips. We kissed. Softly, searching at first, but then it deepened. Electricity shot through my body. It was just like he was the “old” Matt. I somehow forgot all the weirdness that had been happening between us.
And then he moved my hair to kiss my neck.
“Whoa! Your Dad let you get a tattoo?”
Oh, crap, crap, crap! “Uh, not exactly,” I said, and pulled my hair back over my shoulder.
“Can I see it?”
What the hell was I gonna do? Damn! Just then, the doorbell rang. I was saved!
“Oh, Matt, that’s the twins. We were just going to catch Glee real quick,” I said, standing up and making for the hall.
“So you’re not coming to Josh’s then?”
“Maybe afterward,” I said. “Do you want to stay and watch?”
“Not so into it,” he said. “But come by Josh’s later if you feel like it.” He gave me a smile, but it didn’t reach his eyes. He said a quick hello to the twins on his way out and headed for his car.
Alyssa watched him drive away. “Ooh, let’s have the details about the hottie,” she said.
“Well, let’s see. We were talking, then we were kissing, then he saw my mark.”
“Oh. My. God. Maya, how did that happen?” Damian asked.
“Use your imagination,” Lyssa said. “What did he say?” she asked me.
“He thinks it’s a regular tattoo. He thought my dad let me get one!”
“Uh oh.”
“I know. You guys, what am I gonna do? I can’t believe I let my guard down like that. What if he tells anyone? Oh, my God. He’s going to Josh’s tonight. What if he tells someone at the party?”
“Okay, you’re freaking out. I’m sure he won’t even think of it,” Lyssa said.
“Even if he does, don’t forget that your mark isn’t an animal like people would expect. There’s actually nothing about your mark that gives you away as a shifter,” Damian pointed out.
Whew. “I hadn’t thought of that,” I said. I had been so busy worrying about why my mark was so different that somehow I had managed to overlook that one teensy little blessing. I mean, jeez, paranoid much?
“Honestly,” Lyssa said, “I really think you’re in the clear on this one. As long as your dad doesn’t find out, you’re good.”
“He’s going to know eventually,” I said, cringing at the thought.
“Well, we’ll just have to deal with that when it happens.” She smiled and plopped down on the floor in front of the TV.
“I’ll go grab the snacks,” I said.
“Need some help?” Damian asked.
“I’m good,” I said, and headed into the kitchen. I pulled some sodas out of the fridge, popped open a diet Coke and took a sip, then took some munchies out of the cabinet. I brought them back to the living room and joined my BFFs on the floor with some big pillows. I was more than happy to Gleek out like a regular kid for a while.
“So how did the ritual go?” Lyssa asked a minute later.
“Okay, I think. I definitely feel calmer, more centered. You know, it was the strangest thing...,” I began, but then something stopped me.
“What’s that?” Damian asked.
“Well, this is going to sound weird—”
“—weird? Coming from you?” Lyssa giggled.
“Chill, Lys,” Damian said. He looked at me. “What happened?”
“Well, just as I finished the ritual, Balam’s face flashed before my eyes a few times.”
“That’s interesting. I wonder what that could mean.”
“You mean you don’t think I imagined it?”
“Well, do you?” he asked.
“No, I guess I don’t. I wasn’t sure at first, but now….”
“Then I don’t either.”
“Me, neither,” Lyssa chimed in optimistically. “You know, maybe Balam is trying to communicate with you or something. I mean, first it was in your dreams while you were asleep at night. Pretty normal, as far as we know. But then he seems to be...not chasing you like you thought...but following you and maybe even trying to get your attention. And now he shows up in your ritual.”
“Hey, who says Damian’s the smart one?” I grinned, knowing full well it was a sore spot for Lyssa.
“You know, she could be right,” her twin said. The serious look on his face put an end to my silliness. “I hope your grandma can locate that friend of hers,” he added. “I think there might be more going on here than meets the eye.”
That night I lay in bed thinking about what the twins had said. I supposed it could be true that Balam was trying to contact me somehow. Grandma had said that a nagual could show itself in our world, especially if a person’s life force was very strong. I had done the ritual alone today, but I figured it must have been far from perfect. And still I had somehow managed to conjure Balam’s face. What was going on? In spite of my musings, my eyelids felt like they weighed a ton. Wondering about Grandma’s friend, I fell into a deep, blissful sleep. Alone.
CHAPTER FOUR
On Sunday morning, I was still sleeping when my cell phone started ringing. I sat up and looked at the time. Ten a.m! Whoa. I’d slept a miraculous twelve hours! I picked up my phone and checked the caller ID.
“Hello?” I croaked. (Morning voice. Yikes.)
“Good morning, I’m looking for Maya Delaney.”
“Speaking.”
“Maya, this is Victrixa Mata. I’m a friend of your grandmother, Rosa.”
Wha—? Oh! “Grandma’s friend. I’m sorry. I guess I’m still half asleep.”
“That’s all right. That’s what Sunday morning is for. I’m sure you didn’t expect me to use your cell number, but your grandmother thought it might be best under the circumstances. She asked me to call you and see if we could set up a time to meet.”
“Um, sure, what did you have in mind?”
“Are you free this afternoon?” she asked.
“That’s sounds fine.” I had homework to do, but I was hungry for answers and couldn’t get them soon enough.
“Well, why don’t you drive out here to my ranch? It’s not too far outside of town and it’s supposed to be a gorgeous day. How’s noon?”
“Perfect.” I wrote down the directions she gave me, said good-bye, and got up and took a quick shower.
Victrixa’s ranch was only about thirty miles away, but it took a bit longer than I expected to get there because the tail end of the trip was on dirt road, which was common enough. The ranch was hard to miss. There didn’t seem to be any other houses for miles. I drove through the open gate toward the ranch house. It was post and beam style, very typical New Mexico, but it was huge. I parked off to the side and stepped onto the large front porch. It looked like it curved around the far side of the house. I walked along it and peeked around to the back of the building.
“You must be Maya.”
Holy bejeezus! I could have jumped a mile out of my shoes. I turned around, and there, standing just outside the front door, was the most perfect human being I had ever seen in real life. Victrixa was tall and slim, but she had great curves and a strong build. Her skin was flawless and her hair was dark, long, and wavy. But it was her huge eyes that totally blew me away. They were this strange yellowish-green color. She wore a long, body hugging dress and an incredible plate necklace that looked like it was really, really old.
“I was just looking at the house.” D
uh.
“You are more than welcome, here, Maya. I’m Victrixa. It’s nice to finally meet you.”
I walked over to her and reached out to shake her hand. Instead, she put her right hand over her heart “In Lak’ech.” To my language-challenged brain, it sounded like “ing laketch.” I smiled, and not knowing what else to do, said, “Nice to meet you.”
As I followed her into the house, she said, “In Lak’ech is the traditional Mayan greeting. But it’s really so much more than that. In Lak’ech Ala K’in means, ‘I am you, you are me.’ It’s a gesture of Oneness.” She added, “As Mayans, we believe that we are connected to all life—the animals, the trees, the Earth and of course to each other. And so, when you are greeted with In Lak’ech, you put your right hand over your own heart and say, Ala K’in.”
“Ala K’in,” I said, putting my hand over my heart. Normally, speaking foreign languages confused the crap outta me. But I said it right the first time. It somehow felt natural. I liked it.
“Nicely done,” Victrixa said with a smile. “I’m sure you’re aware that the Mayan was the first world culture in which humans evolved into shifters. The mestaclocán. Of course other native cultures soon followed. But many shifter customs, such as the greeting, have been adopted from our culture to become part of the new shifter culture that’s been quickly developing in the last hundred years. With today’s technology, our community is growing faster than ever.”
I wasn’t sure how to reply to that, so I just said, “You have an amazing home,” as I looked at what must have been at least fifty different artifacts that decorated the main room.
“Thank you, Maya. I used to spend much of my time out of the country, but I’ve come to consider this my home. I try to get here as often as I can. Please sit down,” she gestured toward a leather sofa. “Can I get you something to drink?”
“I guess I’m okay for now.”
“Are you sure? I have diet Coke,” she said with a wink.
“Hey, how did you...Grandma.” I laughed.
“You know Rosa. Let me get that for you.” She walked off in the direction of what I could only assume was the kitchen. While I was waiting, I got up and walked around the room taking in all of the insane books and objects that lined the built-in shelves. I couldn’t stop staring at a broken vase with a jaguar on it.
Jaguar Sun (The Jaguar Sun Series) Page 3
