A faint smell like urine and a little five-year-old boy who used to wet the bed.
Me, helping him in the middle of the night, stripping his bed and washing the sheets, giving him a bath and washing his hair with lavender shampoo. All so our parents wouldn’t find out and so he wouldn’t get in trouble.
Me, yesterday, making him wear clothes that smell like piss and having to force him to put them on.
“Gabe.”
The word comes out like it’s my last, like I’ll never say another thing in my entire life, like I might collapse on the ground and never get up. I look at Natalie and Justin. I’m gasping now, each breath deep, mournful, painful, my chest a gaping wound. I can still feel the claws of that Xua inside me, tangling and confusing me. It’s like an alien poison runs through my veins.
“My brother’s gone, isn’t he?” I ask.
“Yes.” Natalie kneels beside me, rests a hand on mine. “Do you remember what happened?”
I shake my head. “Only bits and pieces.”
“Do you remember me?” she asks.
“We’re friends.” I pause, remembering the spicy smell of her kitchen.
She sighs. “It’s a start. Do you trust me?”
I nod.
“Then you need to believe me when I say we need to leave. Quick. No one else is here, but that could change any second,” Natalie says. “Just get whatever you need, and hurry.”
We scramble through the darkness, blowing out candles, gathering up supplies, a couple of sleeping bags, a couple of towels. I stop in front of the medicine chest and then instinctively look inside. One of the shelves slides out, and there’s a hidden compartment built into the wall.
I pull out a small box and shake it.
There are drugs inside; I know it. I’m not sure what kind of drugs, but I might need things like this to barter with later.
Justin watches me from the doorway. “Do you know what that is?” he asks, nodding at the box in my hand. “Do you remember who it belongs to?”
“Drugs, I think. Is it mine?”
He gives me a gentle smile. “It’s yours now.”
He’s been following behind me, from room to room, carrying everything I say I need. His arms are full.
“You’re a Genetic and we’re friends, right?” I ask.
He glances away, as if he doesn’t want me to see his eyes. I think I hurt him.
“I’m sorry,” I say.
He nods. “Where are we going with all this stuff?”
“I think there’s an empty apartment down the hall—”
“Apartment 4A.”
He’s been here before. I stare at him, trying to remember. It hurts. Some part of me aches to know who he is. Another part of me feels like that Xua stole my soul.
I have to fight it. I have to win. I can’t let that frigging alien beat me. And I know we can’t stay here. It’s not safe.
“Apartment 4A, then,” Natalie says as she appears in the doorway. “I’ll head over there and start working on the door.” She opens a kitchen drawer and yanks out a screwdriver. “Maybe this’ll help me pick the lock.”
I stand in the middle of the kitchen, emptiness in my chest.
This might be the last time I see my home. I might never come back.
Justin has my backpack and most of my stuff in his arms. We swing the front door closed behind us, then head down the hallway.
I’m following people who are supposed to be my friends toward apartment 4A, my left arm hurting, my heart breaking.
I don’t think I’ve ever felt so lost and alone.
30
A thin beam of light before me, a corridor of black behind, I make my way to our temporary home for the night. Natalie’s already opened the door, and I stumble inside, then wrinkle my nose at the stench. A stack of overflowing garbage towers in the kitchen, the floors are filthy, and there’s no furniture. I look for the cleanest room and set my stuff on a threadbare rug. Justin lines up our backpacks against the wall, then frowns.
“Uh, I didn’t know we were splitting up before,” he says. “All our food is in my pack.”
Natalie puts her hands on her hips. “And?”
He sighs. “And that means Billy doesn’t have any food or water.”
She digs through Justin’s pack until she finds a sandwich and a bottle of water. “I’ll take it down to him,” she says, standing up. “Either one of you know if the fire escape on this side of the building is safer than the one that collapsed?”
I frown and shake my head.
“It should be fine,” Justin answers. “Just don’t come back up with a hundred people.”
“Funny,” she says. Then she opens the bedroom window and climbs out onto the fire escape. “Back in a few minutes. And Justin, make sure she doesn’t run off, okay?”
“Are we all staying here tonight?” I ask when she’s gone. I spread two sleeping bags on the floor and then sit cross-legged on one.
“I think so,” Justin says.
I nod and, without meaning to, I run a slow gaze over him. Pictures flash through my mind, almost like a Gov-Net program. They’re all pictures of him.
I see him as a young boy in grade school, before anyone could tell he was a Genetic. He smiled and laughed a lot back then.
I see him in middle school, when his genetic alterations came to the surface and other kids started to tease him.
I never teased him, though. I actually got in a fight with two girls my age one day, because they were calling him a Jenny. One of them got a black eye. The other one got a bloody nose.
“I think I beat up two girls once because they made fun of you,” I say. “In middle school.”
He swallows, then he blinks like his eyes sting, like he’s been in the sun too long. “Did you?” he asks. “You never told me about that.”
Then I see him when we’re older, high school age. He and I are laughing. We’re at the beach, playing Frisbee, and every time he gets close to me my heart beats faster and I wish…
I wish he would kiss me.
But he didn’t.
We were friends, we were always friends, but there was something beneath the surface, like he might be the boy I could fall in love with.
If only…
Then I started traveling through time.
I sink backward, my eyes widening, my stomach churning, and it all comes back. So many images of what I’ve lost, all the battles, all the death, the unending heartache.
And the horrible knowledge that it’s all my fault.
“Sara, are you okay?” he asks.
It hurts so much to remember.
I touch the center of my chest.
“I can still feel it, here. Like there’s too much, too many thoughts and emotions, and it aches and it’s hard for me to think about anything else.”
A tortured expression flickers through his eyes, and he slowly, carefully, sits beside me.
“I remember you,” I say. “I remember…us.”
He puts his hand in mine.
“Good. Because I could never forget you,” he says. “Ever. You’re the best part of all of this. You always have been.”
It feels like I’ve waited a hundred lifetimes to hear him say that.
“I almost lost you. I thought you were dead, back in Snake City.”
“I’m not dead. I’m here.” He lifts my hand to his lips. “I’m right here and I’m so in love with you.”
He turns toward me then, his gaze on my eyes, then my lips. Usually he smiles, but not this time. Instead, he pulls me toward him and he kisses me and it’s different than any other kiss. This kiss says more than I love you, it says I need you and I can’t breathe when you’re not around and Never do that again, never almost die, ever…
I melt into his arms, and I hope neit
her one of us dies in this war, but I just don’t know.
This moment might be all we have, and it’ll never be enough.
…
There’s a rattling clamor on the fire escape, two people climbing up and probably doing their best to be quiet. But I remember who they are now. These two can’t do anything without making noise. Their whispering argument precedes them.
“I didn’t say you had to stay down there all night.”
“It was implied. I’m not even sure how I was supposed to guard you guys when I can’t signal you.”
“You could signal us without skin sites.”
“Yeah. Honk a car horn. Oh, wait, then everyone in the whole neighborhood would hear it.”
Justin and I are sitting with our backs against the wall, sharing a sandwich and watching as they climb in the window. Natalie folds inside the room like a shadow. Billy, on the other hand, thunders in like he’s all elbows and knees and bruised ego.
She runs a gaze over us, smiles, and then nods. “Glad you’re back.”
I give her a smile.
She’s the best friend I could ever have. In any lifetime.
Before long, all four of us are stretched out on the sleeping bags. It’s like an end-of-the-world slumber party. With aliens outside and an empty place in the room.
It almost feels like Gabe is with us. I keep hearing his voice in the space between our words, like he’s trying to make a joke or a smart-ass comment. Or when someone says something funny, I hear his laughter in the chorus. I think I see him in the shadowy doorway, just standing there, hesitating like he can’t decide which room to go into.
Twice, I accidentally call Justin by my brother’s name and there’s a long, awkward pause. I don’t even realize I said it, until they all look at me. Usually Natalie would correct me. Not tonight.
Tonight the mention of Gabe’s name brings us all to our knees in silence.
His ghost is here with us. And none of us wants him to leave.
He’s the reason I’m planning to take the Xua down.
31
Sunlight slices through bare windows, falling across the room, searing my skin. I startle awake, then sit up with a jolt. I glance around the room, trying to remember how I got here. Natalie was with me, I think. And Justin. Maybe Billy, too. We rode on motorcycles, but I’m not sure.
A vague sense of doom hangs over me.
“Natalie?” I call out.
The sleeping bag next to me is empty.
I stagger out of the room, disoriented. Memories of last night come back. I see Justin then, standing by the living room window, watching the street below. He smiles when I approach.
“Morning,” he says.
I give him a shy grin. “Where is everyone?”
“They went up on the roof, trying to see where the Xua are. Or not. Maybe they’re just up there arguing about whether the sky is blue.”
“He’s got a crush on her.”
“Well, I know what that’s like.”
I blush. “I’m going to take a shower.”
“My turn next.”
I head into the bathroom, glad to discover the water hasn’t been turned off. A quick cold shower later, and I almost feel like myself again. Until I look in the mirror.
There are circles under my eyes, my skin is pale, and my hair is going to be a frizzy mess as soon as it dries.
I grimace at myself. Then, I brush my teeth and get dressed.
“Your turn,” I call to Justin, then I stop in the bedroom and get a bottle of Z. It’s not cold, but the combination of caffeine, chocolate, and raspberry tastes like heaven. I hear Justin shut himself in the bathroom, and the water turns on.
I check to make sure the front door is still locked, then I pause with my hand on the knob.
There’s a soft scuffling noise outside the apartment. Somebody’s coming down the hallway. At first, I think it’s Natalie and Billy, but something doesn’t seem right. Maybe because it’s too quiet. Those two would be arguing. The power’s still out, so the video that monitors the hall isn’t working. Instead I peer through the peephole in the center of the door—this building’s so old, all the doors still have those old-fashioned, wide-angled lenses built inside.
A man and a woman walk toward me. It’s dark, but a little light comes through a window at the end of the hall. The woman is hunched forward, and the man’s jaw hangs loose. Both of them look wary, on edge. A heartbeat passes before I realize who they are, and I cup a hand over my mouth, stifling a whimper.
It’s my parents.
And they’re possessed by Xua.
I pull away from the door, my heart a wild horse racing through open fields, one hand clamped protectively over my gaping mouth. I glance at that gap between the door and the floor. Can a Xua flow through a space that small? I want to look back out the peephole, but I don’t dare. They might see my shadow and know that someone’s pressed up against the door.
I take another step back, then realize they’ve stopped walking. They must be standing in front of this apartment.
Oh God, no, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God—
One of them moves closer.
The knob twists.
“Sara?” Mom asks. “Are you in there?”
Can she smell me? Can she hear me breathing?
“Sara? Is that you? Let me in.”
The doorknob twists again, then she knocks lightly, three times, like she’s trying to wake me up. Mom’s home, sweetheart. Come on now, open the door.
“They aren’t in there,” Dad says.
I stagger another step backward, try to muffle the low whine in my throat, my hand still pressed over my mouth.
“This is the wrong apartment,” he says. “We live down there.”
As crushed as I am, I almost collapse on the floor in relief. They’re Jumpers. The fact that they’re not Hunters will buy us a little more time.
I cautiously peer through the peephole again as they walk away. Dad’s arms are covered with deep, bleeding scratches from his wrists to his elbows, scratches he probably got when he held my mom down and let a Xua get inside her.
I’ll never know what happened after I left the rooftop during the launch, but it doesn’t matter.
My real mom and dad are gone.
And they’re not coming back.
32
The apartment feels like it’s shrinking, like the walls might collapse if I don’t get out of here fast enough. I’ve been racing around from room to room for the past several minutes and, so far, I’ve got our sleeping bags rolled up and tied and our knapsacks filled with drugs, sandwiches, and water bottles.
We can take only as much as we can carry, and we need to get out of here soon, before my parents figure out that I was the one who raided their apartment. Before my mom and dad realize I stole their stash of drugs and MJ, and I really am staying in apartment 4A.
We need to run.
I keep remembering what Aerithin told me about the Xua invasion.
You won’t be able to trust anyone when it happens. Not your parents or your teachers or the police.
Maybe not even your best friends.
Justin comes out of the bathroom, his hair slicked back, his clothes and shoes on.
“We have to get out of here—now,” I say. “My parents were here. They’re in my apartment now, but they might come back when they realize I’m not there—”
He frowns. “Your parents are in the building?”
“Yes, but they’re Jumpers,” I say, and the words almost choke in my throat.
His eyes go wide. “Okay, I got this,” he says as he grabs all our backpacks and gear. Then we almost run into Natalie when we start to climb out the window.
“Good, you guys are ready. We have to go. Hurry,” she says. Her backpack is looped over o
ne shoulder, and Billy is a step behind her.
“Seriously, we need to go right now,” he says.
Alarm ricochets through my body. “Is it my parents? Did they find you?”
Natalie blinks at me, taken back for a heartbeat. “They’re here? How did they survive—” Then she sees the fear and sadness on my face, and a flicker of sorrow flashes in her eyes. She pushes me down the stairs, one hand on my back. “We’ll talk about it later, okay? For now, we need to hurry.”
“What’s going on?” Justin demands.
“It’s a frigging Xua frenzy,” Billy says. “I can’t tell how fast it’s going, but it’s headed this way.”
“Five minutes,” Natalie says as we jog down the fire escape. “Ten minutes, tops. We need to jump on those bikes and—”
Justin grabs her arm and mine and pulls us to a stop. “You weren’t watching this street, were you?”
“No,” Billy says. “The frenzy’s coming from the south.”
Justin points down at a truck pulling to a stop below us. “You missed that.”
Billy frowns. “So? We missed a truck. We’ve got bigger problems.”
I squint at the truck, and my stomach drops. “Oh, holy crap,” I breathe. I recognize this truck. “This is Blood Lord territory. Those are East Side Dragons.”
The East Side Dragons are one of the worst gangs in the L.A. area. They all have retractable metal enhancements—razor-thin blades that run in jagged lines from their forearms to their knuckles—and they’re just as deadly as the Xua. If any of them are possessed, this will be a bloodbath.
“Go down slowly and quietly,” Justin says.
Natalie pulls away and starts heading down. I follow behind her. I’m not sure how we’re supposed to jump the last few feet without being noticed, but we have to try.
Already six of the East Side Dragons have jumped out of the truck. They start running into nearby houses, breaking locks, smashing windows, whatever they have to do to get inside.
They’re looting. So they must not be possessed. I’d be relieved if we weren’t still in plenty of danger.
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