by Kate Wilhelm
Table of Contents
ALSO BY KATE WILHELM
PROLOGUE
ONE
TWO
THREE
FOUR
FIVE
SIX
SEVEN
EIGHT
NINE
TEN
ELEVEN
TWELVE
THIRTEEN
FOURTEEN
FIFTEEN
SIXTEEN
SEVENTEEN
EIGHTEEN
NINETEEN
TWENTY
TWENTY-ONE
TWENTY-TWO
TWENTY-THREE
TWENTY-FOUR
TWENTY-FIVE
TWENTY-SIX
TWENTY-SEVEN
ALSO BY KATE WILHELM
Justice for Some (1993)
Seven Kinds of Death (1992)
Naming the Flowers (1992)
And the Angels Sing (1992)
Death Qualified: A Mystery of Chaos (1991)
State of Grace (1991)
Sweet, Sweet Poison (1990)
Cambio Bay (1990)
Children of the Wind: Five Novellas (1989)
Smart House (1989)
The Dark Door (1988)
Crazy Time (1988)
The Hamlet Trap (1987)
Huysman’s Pets (1986)
Welcome, Chaos (1983)
Oh, Susannah! (1982)
A Sense of Shadow (1981)
Listen, Listen (1981)
Better than One (with Damon Knight) (1980)
Juniper Time (1979)
Somerset Dreams and Other Fictions (1978)
Fault Lines (1977)
Where Late the Sweet Birds Sang (1976)
The Clewiston Test (1976)
The Infinity Box: A Collection of Speculative Fiction (1975)
City of Cain (1974)
Margaret and I (1971)
Abyss (1971)
Year of the Cloud (with Theodore L. Thomas) (1970)
Let the Fire Fall (1969)
The Downstairs Room and Other Speculative Fiction (1968)
The Killer Thing (1967)
The Nevermore Affair (1966)
The Clone (with Theodore L. Thomas) (1965)
The Mile-Long Spaceship (1963)
More Bitter than Death (1963)
PROLOGUE
Paula Kennerman is lost, confused. Thursdays are her best days, she keeps thinking. She is off work on Thursday; there is time to play with Lori, take her to the park, or shopping, or the library. Thursdays are good days.
Packing, she was packing their things, hers and Lori’s. Yes, that was Thursday. Packing. And now she is here, someplace with a curtain around her bed, needles in her arms. Thursday, she reminds herself.
“What the fuck are you doing?” Jack demands, standing in the doorway.
“Packing. Leaving. I told you.”
“You’re not going anywhere! Don’t give me this shit.”
“Leaving.”
She closes her eyes and drifts away. Leaving. He took the money out of the bank. She sees herself on the floor, stunned, clutching the door frame because the floor tilts crazily. There was no pain, she realizes, puzzled, because now there is so much pain. She watches herself watching him as if from a terrible distance. He pickes up Lori and throws her down on the bed. “Next time, out the window,” he says.
Her eyes jerk open. In her head Lori screams and screams.
There was a fire, she remembers, seeing it again through a window, a kitchen blazing, (lames licking against the door. Running. She took a taxi, but not to that house, another house. No suitcase. She could not lift the suitcase because something was broken, and she had to hold Lori’s hand. She drifts again.
She is on the edge of a woods waiting for Lori. Another little girl comes running out. “She’s sleeping,” she says, and from somewhere else a second child calls, “Annie, come here. Look what I’m making.” Annie darts away.
Sleeping, she thinks, standing against a tree, using it for support. She is so tired; and she hurts so much. Sleeping. What if Lori wakes up alone? What if she screams, in there alone?
“If she wakes up alone, she’ll be afraid. I’d better go back.” There is someone by her, she remembers, walking away from her, a woman.
“Whatever you want.”
The woman is heading toward the children playing under a big bouquet. Paula moves slowly; every step brings a stabbing pain through her side, across her shoulder, down her arm. Two cracked ribs, they said. “I won’t go to the hospital,” she remembers crying. “I won’t leave Lori. Let her come with me.” The other side hurts as much as the side with the cracked ribs. From being slammed against the door frame, she recalls, thinking how crazily the floor kept tilting.
At the kitchen door. Flames. The kitchen blazing. She is running, running, like nightmare running: all that effort and so little gain. In the front door, up the stairs, screaming, “Lori! Lori!” The bed is empty. She plummets into oblivion again.
“Mrs. Kennerman, can you hear me?”
Against her will her eyes come open. Her tongue is thick and dry. “Take a sip of water,” a voice says, and a straw is placed in her mouth. The water helps.
“I can hear you,” she whispers hoarsely.
“Can you tell us what happened back at the Canby house? Do you remember?”
“I couldn’t find Lori,” she whispers. “I looked in every room, under the beds, in the closets, and I couldn’t find her.” She pulls against the restraints on her arms. “Where is she? Where is Lori?” She is crying, her voice wild and out of control. “Where is she?”
“Mrs. Kennerman, here, a little more water.” A washcloth is against her eyes, gently wiping her cheeks. It is removed and she opens her eyes.
Now she can see them, a man and a woman. She is very broad, with a broad, almost flat face; he is tall and heavy, thick through the shoulders, with thick gray hair.
“Who are you?” she whispers. “Tell me where my child is, please.”
“Don’t you remember the rest of it?” the man asks.
Now she does. “I kept yelling for her to come out, not to hide, because the house was on fire. I went down the stairs, and then ... I don’t know what happened. I was outside on the ground and people were all around and the house was burning, all the windows, the door, everywhere. Lori!” It was not a question this time. Lori!
Later the same man came back with the same woman.
“Why would she hide from you? Was she afraid of you?”
“Did you see anyone?”
“What did she say to you? Did she want to go home again? Did she want to go back to her father?”
“Why do you say you went upstairs? She fell asleep watching television, and the TV is in the living room downstairs.”
“Mrs. Kennerman, you’ll feel better if you just tell us exactly what happened. Believe me, you’ll feel better then.”
In her mind Lori is screaming, screaming. Dreamlike slow motion: Jack picks her up and throws her onto the bed. Next time, out the window. Lori whimpering in her sleep in a strange house, a strange bed; her every movement brings jabs of pain to Paula. Lori waking up, crying out, screaming in her sleep.
“Just tell us what happened, Mrs. Kennerman.”
She told them and told them, and then she stopped telling them, and in her head Lori screamed.
ONE
Frank Holloway felt out of place here in the Whiteaker neighborhood; his car was too big and expensive and shiny clean, his suit, a very nice blend of silk and wool, was too well tailored. He drove slowly past the small houses, most of them well-kept and neat enough, he had to admit, past the mur
al wall he had read about—not exactly pretty but impressive, he also had to admit: a jungle with unlikely creatures and more unlikely variously colored people who all seemed happy. Continuing, he passed a black beauty shop, a small appliance repair shop, a Mexican grocery store with a sale advertised in big white letters on the window:
JICAMAS, TOMATILLOS, PLANTAINS, SIXTY-NINE CENTS A POUND
He spotted Martins Fine Food stenciled in white letters on a picture window out of the fifties and drove past, parked with misgivings at the curb, and sat for a moment rethinking his plan. Finally he left the car and approached the small restaurant housed in one of the old buildings. Some of the first houses built in Eugene were in this neighborhood, dating back a hundred years or more, now qualifying for historical preservation status; this probably was one of them. The structure was frame, freshly painted white, with a neat row of petunias and marigolds bordering the walkway to the entrance. Two large picture windows had been installed, and a fancy front door with a brass handle. The improvements looked hideously out of place on the building; they made him think of an aged woman wearing a Gabor wig and too much makeup. White half curtains hid the bottom of the glass panes, hid the diners from the public, but at the moment three people were standing in a tight group clearly visible, obviously yelling—a tall black man, a tall brown man, and his daughter, Barbara.
Frank drew in a breath and opened the door, entered. The trio did not glance his way, and it seemed that a squad car with siren blaring could have gone through without their noticing. Frank shook his head at another black man leaning against a door frame; he was wearing an apron and was very large and very black. There was an amused expression on his face. Frank passed him to take a seat in a booth near the rear of the dining room. There were only three tables and four booths altogether. Barbara and her two companions were by the front window, all standing up, holding down the table, as if it might float away without their intense effort.
“What’s the matter, you can’t walk?”
“My mother can’t walk that late. I told you!”
“Don’t give me that shit, man!”
“I said that’s enough!” Barbara yelled, leaning closer to the tall black man.
He was yelling loudest. He was skinny, over six feet, dressed in stained chino pants and a white T-shirt. “What you mean, that’s enough? He stole! He’s a robber! That ain’t enough!”
“You don’t just want your money back, you want revenge, and I told you what the court would do. Roberto, what are you studying at LCC?”
“I’m going to be a dental technician. You know, false teeth, caps, bridges, braces, stuff like that.” Roberto was also thin; he was brown, with long hair caught up in a ponytail. Barbara looked small and vulnerable between the two angry men. “I told you, I pay you back! I already paid some back!”
Abruptly the black man sat down. “You going to make false teeth? No shit?”
“Yeah. You got a problem with that?”
“Man, take it easy, okay? False teeth? Bridges?”
Barbara put her hand on Roberto’s arm, and they both sat down again, and their voices faded, became too faint for Frank to catch the words. The aproned man vanished behind the swinging door to the kitchen and quickly reappeared with a tray that had two Cokes and a cup of coffee. He took it to Barbara’s table, patted the other black man on the shoulder, and then approached Frank’s booth.
“Just coffee,” Frank said.
The waiter went to the next booth. Frank had passed it without noticing anyone sitting there. “You sure you don’t want something to drink, miss? A Coke or juice or something? No charge if you’re waiting for Barbara.”
“No, no. I’m fine. Thank you.” Her voice was very nearly inaudible.
By the time Frank’s coffee came, Barbara and her clients? were standing up again, but this time peaceably. She reached over the table to shake hands with the black man, and then shook hands with Roberto, and the two men walked out together. The black man was saying, “You gonna make false teeth! That’s a hoot and a half!”
Frank stood up and watched Barbara without moving toward her. She looked tired, he thought with regret. It was often a shock to see her when she didn’t know he was there; how like her mother she was in appearance, although not at all like her in any other way. She had fine bones, and she had let her hair grow out longer than he had seen it in years. Fine dark hair with just a touch of wave, enough to soften it. He knew there were a few gray hairs, but since he couldn’t see them from this distance, he didn’t have to think about them. She had lost weight in the last few months and her jeans were a touch baggy; she looked fragile, too young to be thirty-seven, thirty-eight, whatever it was. Fragile, he repeated in self-derision. She was about as fragile as a six-foot length of rebar. Actually, he didn’t want to think about her age any more than he wanted to think of her hair turning gray.
She had faced the door during his swift scrutiny; now she turned toward him, her face brightening as she took a quick step in his direction. “Dad! How long have you been here?”
“Not long.”
The woman in the next booth stood up and started to walk toward the door.
“Did you want to see me?” Barbara asked.
“Yes, but not if you’re too busy. I mean, I’ll come back some other time.”
“That’s just my father,” Barbara said easily. “He’ll wait. Won’t you, Dad?”
“Yep. No problem.” He sat down again and watched the woman approaching Barbara. Plump, in black stirrup pants and a red top, sandals. Not the way people dressed when they came to his office, he thought grumpily, and Barbara, in jeans and a ridiculous T-shirt, was not dressed the way anyone expected an attorney in a prestigious office to dress either, he added, and picked up his coffee. Just the father. He could wait. The coffee was very good.
Barbara had been surprised to see her father, but not terribly. She had known curiosity would bring him to her “office” sooner or later. When he sank back down into the booth, she turned her attention to the young woman, who had been crying recently. Automatically Barbara examined her arms for bruises, marks of any kind, and found only nice pink boneless limbs. She motioned to the table where Martin already had cleared away the Coke cans and glasses and her cup. Even as she was resuming her own chair, Martin came back with a tray and two cups of coffee and put them on the table wordlessly.
She mouthed her thanks to him and said to the other woman, “What can I do for you?”
“It’s not me, not really. It’s really for my sister, I mean.” She stopped, and began adding sugar to her coffee. Her hands were trembling.
“Okay. But who are you? What do I call you?”
“Oh. Lucille. Lucille Reiner.” She started to tear open a third packet of sugar and Barbara reached across the table and took it from her hands, which were icy. Lucille ducked her head and groped in her bag for a tissue.
“Just tell me about it,” Barbara said after a moment.
“I was in the jail, visiting her, and it’s like she’s turned to stone or something. She won’t talk or cry or anything, she just stares off somewhere else. They gave her a lawyer, the court did, I mean, but he thinks she did it and he says she should plead guilty. And the psychiatrist they sent her to, in the hospital, I mean, he thinks she did it, too, and he says she isn’t crazy or sick or anything, she can be tried and go to prison. Or maybe even worse. But if she did it, she had to be so sick, and she’s sick now, not talking, not crying, not eating, I don’t think. And one of the women visitors told me to just talk to you about it. I mean, if she has a public defender, doesn’t he have to work for her?”
Barbara nodded. “He does. All that means is that when a defendant can’t afford to hire an attorney, under the law the court has to appoint one. And that attorney is required to treat this client exactly the way he would any other client. He’ll do the best he can for her. The court will be watching to see that he does.”
“But he wants her to plead guilty. I tal
ked to him this morning, and that’s what he said. And when I told her, she didn’t even seem to hear me. Back in the beginning, a couple of weeks ago, when I yelled at her for not talking to him, she said what’s the use, his mind’s made up already, and after that she didn’t talk to him or me either most of the time.”
“Who is he, the attorney? Maybe I know him and can reassure you about him.”
“Spassero. William, I think. He’s young, real young.”
Barbara shook her head. “New to me. But I can find out something about him. Do you live here in town? Can you come back in a few days, Friday? I’ll find out what I can.”
“We live down at Cottage Grove. I come up to see her three, four times a week, but it’s hard, I’ve got two kids, I mean, seven and eight, and I work four days a week, but I’ll come on Friday. I promise.”
“Fine. About this same time?”
“Yeah, that’s good for me, late afternoon, I mean.”
Late af ternoon, four forty-five. Time for a glass of wine, time to relax, time to see what her father was after… Barbara felt herself make the few internal preliminary adjustments that meant she would stand up now and finish this last bit of business, get on with relaxing.
Lucille Reiner leaned forward and said, “If he’s no good, this other lawyer, I mean, he might be okay, but not for her. Would you take the case for us? I have a little money, eight hundred dollars. I mean, I know you don’t charge people here, that’s what the lady in jail said, but this would be different. I mean, you’d have to go on trial and everything.”
Barbara shook her head slightly. “Mrs. Reiner, I don’t even know what case you’re talking about.”
“Oh, I thought I told you.” She ducked her head again. “It’s my sister, Paula Kennerman.”
The words baby killer leaped into Barbara’s mind. “Let me find out what I can about Mr. Spassero,” she said, feeling a new tightness in her throat, “and talk to you again on Friday.”
Barbara watched Lucille leave and then consciously put a smile on her face and turned to the back of the restaurant. “You can come out now.” She picked up her briefcase and laptop computer and put them on the table, and then stretched as far as she could reach.
