She hesitated on the landing, smiled in Jonathan’s direction with a blush across her cheeks and started her descent. The gown swayed when she walked, and he could make out the tops of the kid slippers. Her pearls contrasted with the blue in the gown so they shone in the candlelight like dozens of exquisite jewels. Her eyes sparkled as the brightest blue he had ever seen. When she arrived at the bottom, he swallowed hard and offered his arm. Leaning to her ear, his lips brushed her skin, making his stomach clench when he whispered, “You take my breath away, Payton. You are so beautiful.”
She glanced up, rather shyly, with a welcome he hadn’t expected. “Thank you, Jonathan.” Then she leaned closer and whispered for only him to hear, “Sir Jonathan.”
His heart hammered in his chest, and he tried to calm the heavy beating. This wasn’t in his plan. Taking deep breaths, he did his utmost to think about her in breeches instead of the gown. Anything to keep his mind from where it longed to go. The strategy wasn’t working; the way she looked, the smell of roses on her skin, her hair curling around her face and falling heavily against the gown... His thoughts rammed a steady rhythm inside and if he didn’t stop, he would give away all those feelings for the world to see.
He turned quickly away from her and faced their guests. “Mr. and Mrs. Hathaway, I’d like to introduce Miss Payton Whittard. Payton, these are friends from Colchester. They knew your father, I believe.” There now, a chance to stop and calm his heart.
Mrs. Hathaway spoke for both of them. “Yes. Why, we have one of your father’s bitches. The best in all of Essex County. It is very nice to meet you, my dear. I understand you helped your father raise them. I have always felt he who can love an animal with a gentle hand is a fine human being.”
Payton’s blush did her honor. “You are kind to speak so of my father. He is missed as are his animals. I have only the puppy Hope left. And Hunter. They will be the start of a new generation. A herald of the new life to come.” Her wan smile tore Jonathan’s heart in two.
He had not thought enough of the cost to Payton. Of course she had a heart of gold. And she had lost so much without ever complaining. Here she stood, obviously frightened out of her wits to be marrying a man she barely knew, and she was talking of new life. Of course, she would want children one day. How callous of him not to be thinking of her feelings instead of his own. And with their arrangement, there would, of course, be no children.
* * *
Once she had received all of their guests, Payton wandered into the great hall; her breath caught in her throat. Candles dotted the room like tiny jewels, and ribbons and greens adorned the doorways and tables in such a lovely way she might have fainted had she not held on tightly to Jonathan’s arm. So attentive. Almost embarrassingly so, but isn’t that what he had said he planned to do? Out to fool the rest of the world. As long as he didn’t try to fool her into thinking this marriage was more than it was.
The musicians began playing and she easily joined in the dancing, though she had never learned to do it well. Jonathan leaned toward her when she winced at a mistake. “If you had your breeches on, you would glide across the floor with no problems.”
She raised her brow and shrugged a shoulder; he was right. Anne floated with her partner and Payton longed to be able to do the same. Dresses and skirts simply got in the way. “I do wish I had this gown off.”
He leaned in and smiled.
She felt her eyes widen and she blushed. She almost missed the amusement on his face when Anne drew near. Of course, he was just playing the game.
“Jonathan, darling. We haven’t had one dance together. Would you be kind enough, Payton, to allow a favorite sister to dance with her brother-in-law?”
Payton loosened her grip and he drifted onto the floor with Anne. Round and round they danced, synchronized perfectly as if they had danced every day of their lives, though Payton saw how he struggled to move smoothly. He must be hurting. Once they finished, Caroline grasped his arm and soon he dashed from one young lady to another, dance after dance, swirl after swirl, ever the devoted host, leaving Payton to sit and visit with her guests. Well, if he was in pain, he deserved it.
Mrs. Merriwether laughed to see him twirling through steps with her granddaughter. Her hands plopped into her lap with finality. “I often thought he would make a good husband for Julia,” she said with a shake of her head. “But you have captured his heart, it seems. You are a lovely addition to Kent Hall, my dear.”
Did it appear to Mrs. Merriwether she had captured his heart? Surely not. Payton felt just the opposite. Once again, he seemed more to be the eligible bachelor than a doting fiancé. She was being a foolish girl and knew it, but while her head accepted their arrangement, her heart continued to fight it.
“Thank you, Mrs. Merriwether.” She glanced toward the dance floor. Jonathan had disappeared once again. With which lady this time?
“Did you have a nice visit?” His voice floated low and velvety smooth behind her. He no doubt spoke that way to all his partners. Still, her heart responded in spite of her efforts to quell the beating as his hand cupped her elbow.
“I had nothing else to do for the past two hours. So, yes, I had a lovely visit.”
“Ah, Payton, child. You still don’t trust me, do you? And I seem to have forgotten myself once again. I shall not leave your side for the remainder of the evening. Will that please you, or do I have to beg your attention?”
Without wanting to, her eyes snapped like sparks in a fire. Two could play at this game. And she would show him just how adept she could be for a child. She looked up and reached for Mr. Fitzhugh’s arm as he passed by. “Mr. Fitzhugh, I believe you’re ignoring me. I have need of a tutor on the dance floor. And I have heard you are quite the dance partner. Would you mind showing me how this reel is done?”
His eyes darted from Payton to Jonathan and then back to Payton again. His tongue tickled his upper lip with a smile and he bowed low. “I would be honored, dear lady.”
* * *
Jonathan’s gaze never left the dance floor. He kept her in his vision as she skipped her slippers to the rhythm of the music with one partner after another. He grasped the intent of her actions but felt helpless against the emotions they evoked. He could almost hear her telling him two could play at this game. He had been available to many women these past five years, doing his best to forget Alithea, but there was something in Payton the others had lacked. Integrity? Honesty? All that and more. Without trying—in fact, trying not to—he was falling in love with this beautiful creature who had landed defenselessly on his doorstep.
He ran his tongue over dry lips. What she was doing to him. He wouldn’t give in to the struggle any longer. Tonight, when they were alone, he would admit to her how he felt, and he prayed she would admit the same. For now, they would continue their charade.
“Jonathan, it’s almost midnight. Is the vicar here yet?” Anne fluffed the sleeves of her gown and gazed into his eyes.
“He’s waiting in the library. If I don’t trim the wings on my little falcon, she may want to keep floating over the dance floor.” But he had deserved her censure after having, once again, left her to herself when he should have gathered her in his arms and glided over the floor with her, showing her how much he cared.
Anne nudged him. “Jonathan? Her flowers have been placed on the chair in the corner. Is there anything else I can do?”
“You have been a great help already. I hardly know how to thank you.”
She stood on her toes and before he could stop her, she pulled his head down and kissed him on the mouth. “That is a good start. You won’t forget me after tonight, I hope.”
Jonathan’s breath hitched. “Anne! I’m being married tonight.” One minute a friend, the next vexing him. Surely she jested.
“I cannot see what that has to do with anything, darling.”
Thank goodness Payton had joined Mrs. Brewster in the library to speak with the vicar. She would have had plenty to say about that kiss. And rightfully so.
A light tap on his shoulder sent chills up his spine. It couldn’t be. He watched the edges of Anne’s face break into a knowing smile.
“I see you continue to be an attentive and gracious host, Jonathan.”
He whipped about to face Payton, Mrs. Brewster and the vicar. “I try.” Instead of being angry with himself, he was angry with the entire situation. He wanted to kiss someone all right, and it wasn’t Anne Newbury. That could never happen again. Instead of defending his behavior as he should have, he stood his ground offensively.
Payton’s lip curled just enough for him to notice. Leaning down, he murmured in her ear, “So you want me attentive? Always be careful for what you wish.” Sweat tickled his forehead and he did his best not to let her see what he was really thinking. If she could, she would control the rest of his life, and no woman must be allowed to do that again. No. No late-night conversation about his love for her. He had to keep her at bay.
His arm signaled the musicians and his eyes swept the room. “Ladies and gentlemen, you were invited here tonight for two reasons. For a Christmas ball, to be sure, to celebrate in the traditional Lambrick style, but also to join us for the wedding of Jonathan Michael Lambrick and Payton Elizabeth Whittard.”
Air whistled through surprised mouths, along with gasps and ahhs. Jonathan held up one hand and smiled. “She is a most beautiful partner, is she not? If you would be kind enough to let the vicar through, we shall take our vows.” He tugged her hand into his and walked toward the end of the great hall, where a canopy of flowers had been placed for the occasion.
The applause followed thunderously, but he had to practically drag Payton along. His grip tightened and he spoke through gritted teeth. “Payton, this is not the time to make a spectacle. Let us do this. Come with me.”
Her eyes flashed, and he had not the slightest idea what she might say when the time came. Although, if he had come to know her at all, he had a few clues. Not waiting to find out, he soldiered her along.
Mrs. Brewster stepped forward and nestled the veil into Payton’s hair with her mother’s silver comb. Jonathan swallowed hard at the vision in his hands.
When he was asked if he took her for his bride, he made sure his “I do” was heard all the way to the back of the room. And he meant it. He pledged himself to her by the grace of God and his sincerity alone. She, however, murmured the words softly. But after the vicar finished the ceremony, Jonathan turned her to their guests, dipped his head and pulled her so close the breath whooshed from her chest.
He might only have one chance, so it would have to last a while. She drew back, but his hands encircled her with pressure enough to snare the most unwelcome interest. She wanted attention; well, he would oblige. His lips brushed hers momentarily, forcing her to partake, and then the softness turned to urgency. He forgot where he was and pressed his mouth over hers, taking the only kiss he ever expected to willingly get. Her breath flowed into his until he couldn’t tell where his started and hers stopped. There was faint applause and then a rumbling, but he barely heard it. His mouth continued to search for one sign of welcome, all the while crushing her lips with his. She started to struggle, but he kept her in his embrace.
At last, the vicar cleared his throat and laughed with a nervous half word of congratulations until laughter overwhelmed the room. Jonathan drew himself up, glanced about and stared into Payton’s eyes. Hurt and shame reflected back to him. He offered his arm once more, leaned over and said in a voice only she could hear, “Always take care what you wish.” He had made a spectacle of both of them, and he wished he could take the kiss back, but, of course, that was impossible.
Once again he had caused her grief, when all he longed for was to keep her in his arms, the rest of the world leaving them alone. This was his wife, his love. But telling her would be his undoing. No, she could never know how he felt. One kiss and that was all.
Chapter 9
Payton received good wishes from her departing guests. When the last well-wisher climbed into a carriage, she closed the door and lifted her chin. Her hands tightened at her sides. If he wanted a battle, she must supply one. Embarrassing her in such a way. She wasted no time but ran directly to the staircase and flew up the steps as if wings lifted her slippers.
She stopped a moment to stare at the gold band on her finger. She would gladly pitch it in his face, but no, that would never do. There remained houseguests who still believed them to be happily married. Fully and wholly married if that kiss were any indication.
When she lingered outside the door to her room, she listened. He was supposed to be staying in the sitting room tonight so their friends would think they were sharing sleeping quarters. He must still be seeing to the cleanup of the hall. She entered, locked her door, slipped into the sitting room and unlocked that door, then returned to her own chamber. The dress fell from her shoulders and she donned a nightgown Mrs. Brewster had left on the bed. She sat in front of the mirror and removed pins from her hair. The full length of it fell onto her arms, the small side curls hidden by the chestnut mass. She hadn’t noticed before how dark her hair was in the winter, but in the candlelight, it shone almost black.
A small rap at the door sent tingles down her back. “Go away. The sitting room’s been prepared. Go away, Jonathan.”
His steps didn’t have a particularly happy ring to them. She held her breath. Soon, there came a rap at the closet. “Go away.”
“Payton, open the door. Now!”
He had agreed to a marriage of convenience, so why was he pursuing her? She stepped to the door timidly and opened it but a crack. His haughty demeanor pushed away any apprehension she might have felt.
“May I come in?”
Her heart thudded, but she pulled the door open wide. “This is your house, Mr. Lambrick. I don’t pretend to be able to keep you out.” She turned and touched her lips with her fingers. If he would kiss her again, the arrangement might change. He had touched her heart so often lately, she imagined a full life with him, but she must never be a beggar and his womanizing ways would no doubt not end merely because of marriage vows.
“Payton, I only wanted to apologize. I seem to be doing that a lot lately. I should not have embarrassed you in front of my friends. Our friends. You were so beautiful, I am afraid I was carried away. I never meant to kiss you in such a manner.” But his gaze said quite the opposite.
Her face flamed with indignation in spite of the strange emotions tingling through her. So, he didn’t really want to kiss her, he just got carried away? Payton moved slowly to the corner table where a vase of the white roses had been set. She fingered the petals and leaned to smell one of them. “You know, we have a way of taking care of animals who become too...enamored. Do you understand?”
“No.”
“Then let me educate you.” With her back turned, she yanked the roses from the vase and spun around, flipping water from his head to his toes. “A little cold water works miracles on an ardent hound.” She retreated to the other side of the room and crossed her arms over her chest. She hoped the determination she felt showed on her face. Her mouth was set, ready for a fight.
Without a word, he grabbed the towel from the water pitcher, wiped his face and hands and dropped the towel on the floor. His look grew dark and sinister before her eyes. “If I may educate you now, Payton. Cold water has little effect on a man.”
He strode across the floor in two long strides, his steps making clear he hadn’t found her lesson very charming. “I have done all I know to please you. I have left you alone. I have stayed by your side. I have complimented you and ignored you. I don’t know what you want, but I do know what I want. I promised before God and our guests tonight that I would be faithful, but I also pro
mised to love only you.”
His mouth crushed hers, searching for a response. He kissed her eyes, her forehead, her cheeks and then her lips again and again until she couldn’t breathe. “I love you more than I have ever loved anyone. Payton, I do not want to live my life without you. I love you.” He kissed her chin. “Love you.” He kissed the tip of her nose. “Love you.” Then his mouth settled gently on hers, like butterfly wings softly overshadowing a flower.
She stumbled back, drawing in air, and pulled her hands to her mouth. Her lips still tingled and she wasn’t sure what to say to wipe away the longing in his eyes. “We...had an agreement, sir.” Her breath was coming in ragged gasps, and her heart felt as if it might explode in her chest. If only he meant it. What a life they might have.
He stared, eyes now full of...what? She wasn’t sure. He repeated, “Jonathan. Not sir.”
“We had an agreement, Jonathan. We would live together as friends.”
“Then that is what you want?” His eyes snapped with fire that threatened.
She had a choice. Would he want what she longed for or was he playing one of his games? “I had thought—”
Suddenly it sounded as though screams poured from every corner of the house. Jonathan turned and ran into the hall. Payton stopped to put on a robe, then followed.
* * *
Further down the hallway, Anne stood amid a gaggle of the remaining guests in various states of dress, tears pouring over her cheeks. A thin pink wrapper exposed more than any woman should reveal to strangers. Jonathan removed the coat from his shoulders, damp though it was, and draped it around her.
Bride by Necessity (9781460333907) Page 9
