Tears choked my giggle, and he said, "That's lame, right?"
"No, it's beautiful."
"And lame?"
"It's a little nerdy," I confessed, "but it's sweet. I thought of it more like a diamond solitaire and not wanting to squish other stones in around it."
"Now, that's what I should have said. Much classier."
I left the bed, needing to be with him again. "Your way was perfect. And I agree. It was really special."
Andrew stood and came to me, his white t-shirt and light-colored boxer shorts glowing faintly in the dim room. We held each other close, and the comfort I hadn't been able to find in bed began to rise in the shelter of his arms.
"I know you've been though a lot," he said quietly, "and I'm willing to go as slow as you want. I just want to be with you, however it works for you. However it ends up."
I said, carefully so I got it right, "It's not the destination, it's the journey. Right?"
He squeezed me tight. "Exactly. I want to be with you on the journey."
"I want that too."
After a moment, he said, "You actually said it right for once."
I giggled. "I really had to work at it."
"Maybe someday it'll come naturally."
"Stranger things have happened, I'm sure."
He stroked my hair and we stood together, swaying to music that wasn't there but was somehow singing between us, until he said, "I should let you sleep. If you think you can."
"Maybe." In his embrace I felt like I could, but when he let me go it might be different.
Andrew chuckled. "Well, at least someone is good at not missing opportunities."
I looked at him, confused, and he turned me to see Ruby lying in his abandoned chair. I shook my head, smiling. "She's observant and speedy. A deadly combination."
"I don't think I'll fit in her chair, so I guess I'll move her. Unless she's willing to share."
He released me and headed toward the chair, and I knew I didn't want him sleeping there. Away from me. Flow with the go. "She won't."
He paused and looked back. "You're sure?"
I nodded and took a deep breath, then said, "She won't share. But I will."
Andrew took a step toward me. "You don't have to. I'm fine over there."
"I know. I want to."
He moved forward and took me in his arms again. "I wasn't trying to say—"
"I know," I said into his chest. "And if you don't want to, it's okay, but I'd love to fall asleep with you."
His hold on me tightened. "I can't think of anything I'd like more."
After another moment, he took my hand and led me to the bed. He slipped under the covers first, and I saw with amusement that he'd noticed on which side I usually slept and had left it for me.
"Come on in," he said softly, "and arrange me however you want."
"Like a bunch of flowers?"
"A masculine bunch, if you don't mind."
I laughed and joined him in the bed. With Bill, I'd always fallen asleep with my head on his chest and his arms around me, but I wanted to feel that Andrew, literally, had my back. I settled onto my side. "Come over behind me."
He shuffled closer until his chest touched my back, then wrapped his top arm around me. "Is that good?"
I slipped my hand into his and snuggled against him as my eyes drifted closed. Surrounded by his body, I felt warm, safe, and cherished. "It's perfect."
He kissed the back of my head. "Good night. Remind me to thank Ruby for this tomorrow."
I smiled. "Will do. Good night."
He wasn't Bill. He could never be Bill. But he was doing a wonderful job of being Andrew.
Chapter Seventeen
When I woke up the next morning, feeling calm and refreshed after an exquisite sleep with no nightmare, I heard water running in the bathroom. Not wanting to leave the warm bed, I snuggled down into the blankets and replayed the previous night in my mind, lingering on Andrew's embraces and sweet words and the adorable geekiness of his explanation for why he hadn't kissed me again, until I heard him walking quietly toward me.
"Good morning," he said as I opened my eyes to see him dressed in his jeans and sweatshirt. "If you want to go back to sleep, I'll leave you alone."
"No, I'm awake now. How'd you know I wasn't asleep?"
He sat on the edge of the bed and brushed my hair back from my cheek. "You breathe differently when you're sleeping."
Emotion flooded me, that sacred stillness combining with awe at how well he knew me already, and I caught his hand and pressed it to my lips.
He slipped back into bed and pulled me into his arms, and we held each other in silence. I wouldn't have been able to speak even if I'd had anything to say. How had I been lucky enough to find two such wonderful men in one lifetime?
After a long blissful moment, he said, "What are your plans for the day?"
I tightened my arms around him. "I like what I've done so far."
He kissed my forehead. "Me too. But is there anywhere you have to be? Anything you need to get done?"
"I'm having dinner with Sandra and her other bridesmaids tonight, but that's it."
"I was thinking," he said, toying with a lock of my hair, "that I'd like to make today the way yesterday should have been. Make it a perfect day for you. Can I do that, or would you rather have the day to yourself?"
"I'd love that. But you don't have to. You made yesterday amazing."
He grinned at me. "You ain't seen nothing yet, baby."
I grinned back, so deliriously happy to be with him. "What have you got in mind, baby?"
"Well, baby, first off I need to feed you. Which I think means I need to go shopping."
"I have food."
"No, you have fake food. I want to give you real food. And unless you have all the ingredients I need, I'll be going shopping."
I nearly protested again, since whatever he'd be buying couldn't possibly fit into my diet, but the idea of prioritizing Joel and what he represented over Andrew was too revolting to contemplate. "What do you need?"
He tapped me on the nose. "Never mind. It's a surprise."
"You can check the kitchen and see if I have everything."
He gave me a squeeze and left the bed, and I heard cupboard doors opening and closing. "You're missing one key ingredient, so I'll head out now."
"You don't have to."
He returned to my side. "You're missing the point. I want to."
I reached out my hand to him, and he took it and said, "Let me do it, okay? Let me give you the best day I can."
He so clearly wanted to, and I did want to spend the day with him. I looked up into his eyes and decided that, just for one day, I could let go of all my control. I could trust him. "Yes, please. Thank you. Baby."
He grinned. "Is there anything else I can get while I'm out? Anything you always wish you have on a nice relaxing Saturday morning?"
I thought for a moment, then it hit me. "Get a newspaper. One of the big fat weekend ones. In university I used to spend the morning with Sandra drinking coffee and reading the paper and talking about what we found. I haven't done it since, though."
"Will do. The Griffin has great coffee. Should I get some?"
I shook my head. "What I have here is fine."
"But is it perfect?"
I really preferred the coffee from the café, darker and richer than anything I'd been able to find to make at home. I held his gaze and shook my head again.
He grinned. "Then I will come back with the secret ingredient, and coffee, and a newspaper, and anything else that occurs to me. If you think of anything, give me a call."
"What should I do while you're gone?"
"Whatever you want. Other than work, of course."
I laughed. "You know what? I haven't thought about work once today."
He kissed the top of my head. "Then there's still hope for you. I'll be back soon. "
He left, and I brushed my teeth then considered putting my bedding aw
ay but didn't feel like it. Instead, I gave Ruby her shot and her breakfast then settled back into bed with her and a book and a glass of water.
When Andrew returned, bringing the wonderful aroma of fresh coffee with him, he said, "Nice. You both look very happy."
"We are, thanks. Want to join us?"
"I have work to do first, but then sure."
He gave me my coffee, refused my offer of help with breakfast, and headed off to the kitchen. I stayed in bed, sipping coffee with the perfect amount of cream and sugar and patting Ruby and wondering what on earth the mouth-watering scent from the kitchen could be, until he appeared at my side holding two plates.
"Madame's breakfast."
I looked at the plate he'd stuck under my nose. "You bought pancakes?"
He jiggled the plate until I took it, then slid into bed with his own. "I made them."
"You cook?"
"Don't sound so surprised. It's just following directions. I can do that."
"I know, but..."
"Eat. Talk later."
After my first tentative bite, there was no way I'd choose talking over eating. The missing key ingredient had obviously been the maple syrup he'd poured over the pancakes, which were fluffy and perfectly cooked. One of my WeightAway breakfasts was tiny sponge-like pancakes with a faint drizzle of something syrupy, but I wouldn't be able to eat that again after these.
"You're the king of pancakes," I said after I'd finished the two he'd given me.
"True. I left my crown at home, though. Want more?"
I really shouldn't. But they were so good.
One day. I would take this one day to savor everything life had to offer, then tomorrow I'd go back to the diet. Not to those vacuum-packed pancakes, though. Never again.
"I do. One, I think."
"Good enough." He left the bed and returned with my plate.
"That's two."
He nodded. "I want you to have more than enough today."
I turned toward him, about to speak, and he warned, "If you say 'thank you' or 'you don't have to', I'm taking them away. Both of them."
I snapped my mouth shut, and we grinned at each other. I had indeed been going to thank him, but instead I returned my attention to the pancakes. I ate one, and a few bites of the second, before I didn't want any more. He'd been right, though: I'd wanted more than one.
He took our dishes back to the kitchen and returned with the newspaper, and we spent the rest of the morning sitting in bed reading, bickering good-naturedly about who got to read the technology section first, and sharing interesting tidbits from the articles.
For lunch, he'd bought a huge salad and a grilled chicken, and we ate them in bed then snuggled up together and took a nap while Ruby snored away in her new chair. Falling asleep in his arms again was lovely, but waking up in them and realizing we hadn't let go of each other even in sleep was sweeter than all the maple syrup in Canada.
We lay together for a while, barely awake but not quite asleep either, until I said, "I'm supposed to run today."
"Do you want to?"
"Less than I'd want to spend eternity with Kate."
"Then don't. This is your day."
"I need the exercise."
He stroked my hair. "One day off won't hurt."
"If you keep feeding me pancakes, it will."
"No more pancakes today, I promise. Hey, I have an idea."
"I'm scared."
"Good. Why don't I teach you some MMA?"
I lifted my head to look at him. "You're joking, right?"
His dancing eyes told me he wasn't even before he said, "I won't really hit you, of course. But I can teach you to box and maybe some kicking."
I couldn't help grinning. "You promise not to hurt me?"
He grinned back. "I'm more afraid you'll hurt me. But yes, I promise."
So we hauled ourselves out of bed, and my polar bear pajamas and I had our first MMA lesson. Andrew held up the couch cushions and let me punch them, taught me how to kick them too, and even showed me how to apply the arm hold he'd nearly lost to in his fight. Once I had a clue, we took turns beating on each other through the cushions. We were giggling so much it was hard to focus, but that helped work my abs, and the punching and kicking were a serious workout in their own right. When I collapsed to the bed, unable to keep going, I was shocked to see we'd been at it an hour.
He dropped next to me. "Should I tell Jake you'll take lessons?"
Such a hard workout but enjoyable too? "Tell him I will take one lesson."
Andrew pulled me into his arms again. "He's going to be thrilled. Me too. It'll be fun seeing you there."
"One lesson," I reminded him. "So just one time."
He laughed. "That's what I said when I first went. Good luck with that."
We snuggled a while longer, then I showered while he cleaned up the kitchen. I left my hair down so it could dry, and didn't even think about makeup; we were so comfortable together I knew I didn't need it.
At around four, he went out to get us another coffee, and I rattled around for a few minutes then opened the curtains and nearly blinded myself with the vibrant sunshine. It had been so dark and gray the last few days, and the brightness of the day seemed like a great sign. Andrew was certainly brightening my life.
I stayed at the window, watching the world go by, until I heard the door open. I turned to face him, a smile growing on my face at his return, and he stopped mid-step and stared at me.
My smile faltered at the shock and intensity in his eyes. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine." He put down the coffees on the kitchen counter and came to me, pulling me into his arms. "You're gorgeous, that's all."
I wanted to believe him. But something wasn't right.
*****
"And then he left?"
"No, he stayed for an hour or so, but it wasn't the same. He tried, I think, but he was preoccupied."
Sandra shook her head. "Weird, after such a great day."
"I know. Something must have happened while he was out. He was still sweet to me, and he hugged me when he left, but the way he was... focused on me before, that was gone."
"You're right, something happened. Anything else to tell me before those two get here?"
I'd called Sandra after Andrew left and she'd agreed to meet me ten minutes earlier than we'd planned. Lynne and Christine were both sticklers for being on time, and Sandra had been a minute or two late, so I knew we didn't have long. "Not really. Well, just that he kept looking at me after he came back. He'd been looking at me before, of course, but this was like he was memorizing me or something."
"Did he say anything before he left?"
"Only that he'd see me on Monday at work. We're going out for lunch."
"Then I guess he's fine. Just acting strange. Typical male."
But Andrew wasn't remotely typical, and something had changed for him. I didn't have time to dwell on it, though, because Sandra was talking again.
"He's coming to my New Year's party, right?"
"I haven't asked him."
"Do it now."
I did want him there, so I sent a text message inviting him. I'd barely set the phone down when he responded with, "I'd love to."
"Great," Sandra said after I showed her the message. "Now ask what he's doing tomorrow. Maybe you can hang out some more. Get another kiss or ten."
I hadn't told her about Joel. I didn't see the point. I didn't ever want to think about it again. But I had told her about the sabotage at work, which had horrified her. I'd moved on quickly, though, to how Andrew had kissed me and told me how he saw me, and the presents he'd given me and how he'd spent the night and day with me, and she'd been thrilled.
Andrew's response to my second text message wasn't thrilling. "No can do, I have tons of errands before next weekend. I wish I could. Monday lunch, though, for sure. Pat Ruby for me."
"He's going to Vancouver for Christmas with his parents, so I guess he's got presents to buy." I sighed.<
br />
"Don't do that. No sighing. He likes you, no question. If he says he's busy, I bet he is."
"Yeah, I'm sure you're right," I said, as Lynne and Christine approached the table. And I was. But why had he acted so different after going out?
We chatted about wedding-related stuff until we were drinking coffee after finishing our meals, at which point Sandra pulled out the zippered binder she was using to keep everything organized and said, "I have a few options for your dresses. Let me know what you think. It's early, but I want to pick one so we can start looking for jewelry and shoes."
The catalogue she dropped on the table contained hundreds of dresses of various styles. "I circled the ones I like, so you guys go through them and let's see if we can agree on anything."
I pulled my chair around so I could look on with the other two. As they turned the pages and exclaimed over the dresses, I realized Sandra had been taking care of me. The styles she'd left un-circled would have looked terrible on me, all spaghetti straps or strapless or desperately form-fitting. Still, none of the circled ones were modeled by someone even close to my size.
After several passes through the catalogue, we had narrowed the pool to five. They were all gorgeous, but I knew I wouldn't look right in any of them so I couldn't get too excited. Lynne and Christine decided they preferred the third one, which was probably the worst one for me.
"Are you okay with that one, Rhiannon?"
I looked at Sandra, my best friend, so obviously concerned that I be happy and comfortable at her wedding, and lied with all my heart. "Absolutely. It's stunning."
I had to lose weight. Under Andrew's influence I'd been contemplating loosening up a bit on the diet over the Christmas holidays, but now I knew I could do no such thing. I remembered the fiasco of Kathleen's wedding and swore I would not slack off.
I would lose weight or die trying.
Chapter Eighteen
Andrew and I did have lunch on Monday, and for the next three days as well. He was attentive and focused on me each time, and the warmth of our embraces afterward touched my heart, but we didn't kiss and we didn't spend any time together outside of work. He still claimed to be far too busy getting ready for Christmas with his parents.
Toronto Collection Volume 1 (Toronto Series #1-5) Page 71
