And Kegan had stood firm, and now he had no contractors.
Because of me. If I'd been stronger, Kegan wouldn't have needed to jump in to save me.
Steel's delay was my fault.
I'd said exactly that to Kegan and he'd said immediately, "No, it's Jimmy's fault. And Danny's too for letting him get away with it."
But it wasn't entirely their fault. I knew it, and I felt certain he did too.
At the end of our talk, he'd said, "I still have a few leads on contractors but it's not looking good. Franklin's officially signed on to do Magma but he can't start until December fourteenth, which of course means Steel won't be done by the fifteenth. Or any time in December." He sighed. "And using him wouldn't do Magma's schedule any favors either."
"I really am sorry."
"Stop saying that. If Jimmy hadn't been an ass, none of this would have happened. It is not your fault. Got it?"
I'd said, "Okay," because I knew he wanted me to, but I didn't mean it. And I couldn't stop blaming myself.
I worked in the kitchen for an hour or so, fending off Crystal's constant hinted questioning about what we'd discussed behind Kegan's closed office blinds, then let myself escape to Mildred's for a sandwich. Returning with a fresh tea and a coffee for Kegan, I was nearly bowled over by two small children racing for Steel's front door.
"I'm sorry," the woman with them said. "My kids have no manners. Are you okay?"
I nodded. "The restaurant's closed, though."
She smiled. "That's okay. They're coming to see their uncle."
The girl, a bit larger than her brother, reached the door first and flung it open, shrieking, "Uncle Kegan!"
When the woman, who I realized must be Kegan's sister, and I walked in, we found Kegan in the foyer with the boy clinging to his back making what I assumed were pterodactyl noises and the girl prancing around showing off a truly strange dance routine. He looked up at our arrival, grinning. "Nora, your children are crazy."
"You say that every time we see you."
"It's always true." He walked over, still bearing the boy, to give her a hug. He whispered something to her and she said, "Surviving," and he squeezed her a little harder then let her go.
"Nora, this is my new chef Mary. Mary, my sister Nora, and her kids, who rumor says are crazy, Lola and Rudy."
Lola grabbed Kegan around the legs. "I'm not crazy, you are."
He rubbed his knuckles against the top of her head. "Takes one to know one."
"Then you are crazy! If I'm crazy, and I know one, you're the one!"
She burst into giggles and he said, "You're too smart for me. Let's go see if Mildred can spare you a cookie."
Rudy began scrambling to get down, and Kegan swung him to the ground. "Mary, want to come along?"
He was ridiculously cute with the kids so I did, but I wondered if Nora would rather be alone with her brother for at least part of their visit. Then I had a brainwave. "Want me to take them instead? I have a coffee for you here, and if Nora likes tea she can have this one and I'll go get another one and cookies too."
Kegan turned to Nora, eyebrows raised, and waited.
She hesitated, and he said, "Or Mary and I can wrangle the brats and you can sit here and get five minutes of solitude."
Her face lit up. "That one." She turned to me. "It's not that I don't trust you or anything, it's just—"
"You just met me. No reason to trust me. It's okay."
We smiled at each other, and she said, "Thanks. I'm sorry, I shouldn't be such a—"
"Normally protective mother?" Kegan said. "Yeah, you're a nightmare."
She rolled her eyes, then to my surprise grabbed him in a firm hug. He hugged her back, even tighter, until Rudy said, "This dinosaur's hungry!"
"Doubt it," Nora said, releasing Kegan, "since you stuffed yourself at lunch." To me, she said, "Are you sure you don't mind me stealing your tea?"
I shook my head. "Plenty more where that came from."
She smiled, and Kegan and I headed out with the kids.
"How old are you?"
"Lola, you can't just ask people that."
"Why not? I'm eight and I don't mind saying it. Why is it bad to ask?"
She was adorable. Long brown hair like Nora's and her uncle's deep blue eyes. Nora had them too, but hers looked tired and a little sad.
"Lola, some people don't like it, but I don't mind. Lots of people ask me how old I am." I gave Kegan an innocent smile. "Sometimes even at job interviews when they shouldn't."
He winked at me, and I said, "I'm thirty-four, Lola."
She considered this. "You are... um... twenty-six years older than me." She stopped in her tracks. "Wow. You're old."
Kegan and I burst out laughing. When we'd got ourselves under control, he said, "And now you know why some people don't like to be asked, Lola. Because some crazy little girl will tell them they're old. Do you know how old I am?"
She shook her head.
"I'm twenty-eight years older than you."
Her eyes widened. "You're even older than her."
"Her name is Mary."
"You're even older than Mary."
"Gotta love the shock in her voice," I said. "Like it's hard to believe it's possible."
He patted my arm consolingly. "Well, you are pretty old."
"You're old. I'm a spring chicken."
"I'll remember that comment when salary review time rolls around."
I laughed. "You won't. You'll be senile by then."
"I'll write it down. And then you'll be sorry."
I punched his shoulder. "Will not."
Lola stopped again and glared at me, her blue eyes sparking with anger and fear. "Don't hurt him!"
I stared at her, surprised. "I didn't."
"You did, I saw it. No hurting."
I crouched to talk to her but she scrambled away from me toward Kegan.
He crouched too and wrapped his arms around her. "Mary didn't hurt me, Lola. She wouldn't hurt anybody. She was just playing. Like how I gave you a nougie in the restaurant?" He gently knuckled the top of her head again. "It's okay, if both people know you're playing. And I knew Mary wasn't trying to hurt me."
"It's not good to hurt people," she said, staring at the ground.
Kegan's eyes closed and he squeezed her tighter, smoothing his hand over her hair. He held her in silence for a moment, then cleared his throat. "No. It isn't. You were right to stand up for me. I'm glad you did. But everything is fine. Okay?"
She thought about this, then nodded. "Okay."
He released her and straightened up. I stayed down. "Lola, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do anything to scare you. I like you."
"You do?"
I nodded. "You're a great dancer."
Stretching the truth a bit, but the way her eyes lit up and the last of the fear left her face made it worthwhile. She hurried a few paces ahead so she could walk backward and dance for us. Rudy went too, singing a tuneless song to accompany her, and I straightened up and murmured, "I'm so sorry." I had no idea what had happened, but I'd caused it for sure.
Kegan gave my arm a squeeze. "It's not your fault. She'll be fine."
She seemed to be, dancing away with no worries and not much rhythm either. "I hope so. Nora seems nice. Have you guys always been so close?" My distant relationship with my brothers was nothing like the warmth between Kegan and Nora.
He shook his head. "Only since the summer. And she is nice. Works incredibly hard too, taking care of them and working full-time."
"Their father's not around?"
"He divorced Nora a few years ago. She'd been with another guy for the last two years, but he left in July."
"Ah." Poor Nora. Poor kids.
"Yeah. The kids liked him, loved him really, until... he left, and they're confused and sad. I spend most of my spare time, what there is of it, with them so it's not all on Nora, but I can't make up for him."
There'd been no mention of Kegan having a girlfriend, not
even from gossipy Crystal. Was this why? Not enough time, with his work schedule and Nora's kids? "I bet you come pretty close."
He wrapped an arm around my shoulders and pulled me against him for a moment. "I appreciate that. You have no idea how much."
Chapter Eleven
"Amazing food, Mary. Yet again."
I blushed and smiled as the rest of the group agreed.
The pretty blonde of about my height who'd spoken patted the flat stomach of the tall and clearly athletic man next to her. "I've never seen you eat so much, Forrest. Good thing you exercise."
"He doesn't exercise, he just plays hockey," Kegan said, earning himself a headlock from Forrest.
Ignoring his struggles to get free, I said, "I'm glad you liked it."
She smiled. "I loved it." She held out her hand to me. "I'm Tess."
We shook hands, and Forrest released Kegan and said, "Sorry, I should let him make introductions instead of beating him up."
"Yeah, you big bully." Kegan made a show of straightening his rumpled dress shirt. "You all know Mary, my savior."
I protested but he said, "You are. Please. Who else could have made these tastings so perfect?"
"Who else could put up with you?" Tess said, grinning.
We all laughed and Kegan said, "Yeah, that too. Okay, Mary, you've met Tess, massage therapist and artist extraordinaire. She makes the coolest miniature scenes, and I'm hoping if I'm really nice she'll make me one someday."
She chuckled. "I've only ever given one away," she said, casting a meaningful glance at Forrest, "and I'll certainly never sell them again, so don't hold your breath."
Kegan puffed out his cheeks then let them deflate. "Fine, be that way. This jerk here is Tess's boyfriend and the captain of the Toronto Hogs, who I'm told will win the Cup again this year, Forrest."
Forrest smiled and shook my hand, his hazel eyes warm and friendly, then Kegan introduced me to tall blond Magnus, the Hogs' former captain, and his blonde girlfriend, a painter named Pam. Her hair was long and Tess's was short, but otherwise...
My eyes went back and forth between the two women and Tess laughed. "Yup, we're twins. I warned her not to date a hockey player but she doesn't listen."
Pam grinned. "Magnus doesn't play any more, so I'm safe."
"Or so you think," Magnus said. "I think we're in the way. Want to go out for coffee?"
The banquet hall's workers had indeed finished with the other tables and were now hovering waiting for us to leave. Forrest and Tess agreed to coffee at once, and Kegan said, "Sure, why not? You in, Mary?"
I wasn't sure Magnus had meant to include me in the invitation. "Oh, no, I'm okay. You guys go have fun."
"You don't want to come?" Tess said. "You're more than welcome." The others nodded.
I glanced at Kegan, who said, "If you don't, I'll just go on and on about how great you are. Wouldn't it be nicer to be there to hear it?"
We smiled at each other, and Pam said, "Plus, if you don't come Tess and I are outnumbered. Don't make us suffer with these three."
Magnus poked her, and I said, "Well, I'd hate to have that on my conscience."
The others had come in one car, so Kegan and I followed in his after making sure our staff members weren't forgetting to take any of our supplies back to Steel. At first we'd been able to leave materials at the banquet hall, but the success of Magma's tastings meant the place was now booked solid so the kitchen was no longer all ours.
We made it safely through the gently falling snow and found the others easily in the nearly empty Griffin Café. Forrest and Magnus had attracted the attention of the few patrons and were signing autographs while Tess and Pam looked on, smiling. Kegan said, "Take a seat, Mary, and I'll get you a tea. And a footstool too?"
My leg burned and had swollen up after the long hours on my feet preparing for the tasting, so I nodded then sank gratefully into my chair and put my foot up on the spare chair he dragged over. I smiled up at him. "Thank you."
He smiled back and headed to the counter.
Tess turned away from her boyfriend and studied me with concern. "DVT?"
I blinked. "Yeah. How'd you know?"
"What's DVT?"
"Deep vein thrombosis. Blood clot."
Pam said, "Ah. That stinks."
I nodded. "It's usually not too bad but I've been standing a lot today." I turned to Tess. "How did you know?"
"Massage isn't a DVT treatment but we're taught to recognize it."
Pam glanced over at Forrest. When she saw he'd finished with his autographs and was listening, she nudged me, her eyes sparkling with a devilish glint. "She spends her days, and nights, rubbing a whole team of sexy young muscly hockey players. Nice work if you can get it, eh?"
Forrest laughed, clearly not bothered. "Remember, I had her first. Then she picked up Magnus and eventually took on the other guys too."
Kegan returned. "Out of context, that's an interesting statement."
"Talking about Tess's work with the team," Forrest said as Kegan handed me my tea and settled into his chair with his coffee. "She massaged me first."
I mouthed "Thank you" at Kegan, not wanting to interrupt, and he smiled.
"And fell for you, fell for my client." Tess pressed the back of her hand to her forehead in a mock swoon. "I'm an ethical disaster."
"Nobody's perfect." Forrest grinned at her then turned his attention to Kegan. "So, what's up with Steel? You're reopening soon, right?"
I flinched, fighting back tears for the third time that day.
After Kegan had warned me a week ago that Steel might not open on time we hadn't discussed it again, and my faith in him was such that I'd assumed he'd find a solution. So when he called me into the office after lunch and told me we'd definitely miss New Year's Eve, I just stared at him, too shocked to respond. Then I saw the depth of his pain in his eyes and stumbled forward without meaning to and wrapped my arms around him.
The way he clung to me made my throat tighten but I held him close and willed myself not to cry. I wanted and needed to comfort him, and if I cried it would be the other way around.
Eventually he said, without letting go of me, "Thank you. I'll be okay."
I squeezed him harder. "For sure you will."
He stood taller in my arms and his hand smoothed over my back. "But will you be okay? I know you hate this too."
Tears almost escaped then, stirred up by his sweetness in being concerned about me in the midst of his own worries, but I managed to control them. I couldn't speak, though, so I nodded against his chest.
"We need to tell the staff."
I nodded again.
He tightened his arms around me. "In a minute."
Holding him and being held by him felt too good to stop, so I wound my arms more closely around his neck and we stood together, drawing strength from each other, for quite a while before he gently set me away from him. "Ready?"
I looked up into his eyes and saw the pain still there but being replaced by resolve. I raised my chin and made myself smile. "Lead on, boss."
He did, and told the staff with me standing close at his side. I'd held myself together, but my tears had risen again at the staff's genuine shock and sadness, then risen still higher when Crystal's faux-sympathetic "Oh, if only you hadn't had to get rid of the contractors" had made me feel even worse for Kegan.
Now those tears were back with a vengeance as he grimaced and said, "It should have been next Tuesday, but it got pushed back into January. Contractor difficulties."
Forrest and Magnus and Pam commiserated with him, but Tess didn't speak, and I looked up to see her watching me fighting to get myself under control. Our eyes met and she gave me a small nod, like a salute, and an understanding smile. "That must be hard for you, both of you. It's not fun when you can't work when you want to."
My tears took over, and I mumbled, "Excuse me," and fled to the bathroom.
Alone, I calmed myself quickly, although the pain didn't subside. I had been blo
cked from the work I longed to do, and Kegan had opened the door for me to make it happen. Now he was blocked, because of me. And I couldn't open that door. I'd been the one to shut it.
Tess walked in. "Hey. You okay?"
I nodded. "Sorry. The whole thing's just a mess."
She joined me at the counter and smiled at me in the mirror. "I know. He told us."
I turned to stare at her. "He did?"
She nodded. "He said the contractor's employee was an ass to all the women in Steel, so he told the guy's boss not to bring him in any more and the contracting firm quit."
Her eyes were steady on my face, and I knew Kegan had said more. "He said it's my fault, right?"
"No, he said you say it's your fault. He doesn't remotely think it is."
I rubbed my forehead. "The other women slapped Jimmy or made him go away. I'm the one who let him act like an ass. If I'd defended myself, Kegan wouldn't have had to step in."
"But if the guy hadn't been an ass, then there'd have been nothing for Kegan to do."
"Yeah, but..." I sighed.
"But you still feel like it's your fault."
I nodded, and she patted my shoulder. "I understand. But you need to know he doesn't blame you at all."
I believed her, and it helped. "Okay." I sighed again. "I'll try to stop feeling guilty."
She grinned at me. "Good, because even now he's happier than I've ever seen him."
Warmth blossomed deep in my chest. "Really?"
She nodded. "He dated my friend Jen for a month or so two years ago, and he was uptight and controlling and barely listened to anything she said. I've seen him with quite a few girlfriends since then and he was the same until this summer."
When Nora's relationship broke up? Or was the timing a coincidence? I didn't have time to wonder about it because Tess was still talking.
"After that, he hasn't had a girlfriend but he's been calmer and more open to other people's opinions, but with you he's even more open. He listens to you, doesn't he?"
I thought of everything he'd given me the day my clot was diagnosed, how perfectly his gifts suited me. "He does. I didn't know it was new."
"It is." She laughed. "I'll have to tell Jen, she'll think it's hilarious he's finally listening."
Toronto Collection Volume 1 (Toronto Series #1-5) Page 85
