"I'll get you a drink. Water?"
"That'd be perfect."
He gave my shoulder a squeeze and headed off.
The instant he was out of sight, Crystal was at my side. "What's the deal with you guys?"
Determined to brazen it out, I said, "I don't know what you're talking about."
Dorothy came to my defense. "Crystal, come on. She was cut, bleeding like crazy. Of course he wanted to make sure she was okay."
"By sitting with her for half an hour while the rest of us worked?"
"They worked while we were off for nearly three weeks. Off with full pay. I think we're even."
Crystal's eyebrows went up and she took a step closer to Dorothy, who took half a step back but then held her ground. Kegan returned, though, before Crystal could say another word.
"Nice of you to check on Mary," he said to both women. "I'll take over now."
He handed me the water and crouched beside me. Crystal turned and stalked away while Dorothy hovered nearby.
As I drank, he said quietly, "Dorothy, it's okay."
She turned so her back was to the others. "Crystal's angry."
He nodded. "I know. It'll be all right."
She gave me a sad smile and left.
My boyfriend and I sat in silence for a minute or so, then I said, "I think I'm okay now." I put down the glass and got to my feet, and sure enough I felt fine, if a bit tired.
"Good."
"So I'll get back to work."
"The hell you will."
"Come on. I'm fine. Everyone else is working, so I should too."
He checked his watch then said to the group, "Okay, guys, it's nearly five. Let's call it a day, but please be here by eight tomorrow."
I looked up at him, trying to hold back a smile.
"What? Should I make them stay longer so you can work?"
I laughed. "You're impossible."
"Thank you. Now sit down and rest. Or better yet go to our office and get your stuff."
Our office. I liked the sound of that. I headed towards it but took a detour into the bathroom to wash the dried blood from my arm, carefully avoiding the cut itself so I wouldn't start it bleeding again.
When I came out, Kegan was waiting for me. "Everyone's gone. You still okay?"
I nodded. "Just figured I should clean up."
He pulled me into his arms. "I wanted to hug you before," he said into my hair, "but I couldn't."
"I know. It's okay." It sure felt good now, though.
He tipped my face up and gave me the sweetest kiss imaginable. "Don't get hurt again, please."
I squeezed him tight, warmed by both his body and his concern for me. "I'll do my best."
"Good stuff." He cleared his throat. "I... you know I'm going to Niagara Falls this weekend. Like I did before Steel opened the first time."
I nodded. He'd put it on the calendar after the re-opening was set for January fifteenth.
"I called the hotel today, and I can get a second room." He touched my cheek. "Would you like to go with me?"
A weekend away. With the sexiest man I'd ever known.
Two days after my divorce papers would be filed with the court.
I'd be single, nearly.
Nearly. Not quite.
"I'm not suggesting... I'm not expecting anything. I just want to spend that kind of time with you. You wouldn't... owe me anything."
His awkwardness made it clear what he was trying to say, and I cuddled into him. I'd never have thought he'd expect sex in return for the trip, but I liked that he felt the need to spell it out. "I've never seen the Falls, you know."
He squeezed me. "Then you have to come. I'll show you around. If you want to, that is."
"I want to," I said into his shirt.
He leaned back and kissed me again. "I'll make the arrangements."
"Sounds good."
We went into the office for our coats then headed for the front door. But as we reached the dining area, Crystal, recognizable by her bleached hair, skittered out of the restaurant without looking back.
We looked at each other, both aware she'd left then returned to spy on us.
I sank into a dining room chair. "That's not good."
He sat next to me. "So she knows. Big deal. Who cares what she thinks?"
"Um, a lot of the staff?"
"Oh, they do not. They know she's full of hot air. All that stuff about Brash, when they all know she didn't even last a month."
I stared at him. "You know that?"
"I checked her references. Of course I know."
"Then why do you let her go on and on about it?"
He shrugged. "Doesn't hurt me any. I just ignore it."
"But it hurts the staff."
He put his arm around me. "Yeah, it's annoying, but it doesn't hurt them. Every team has one blowhard, and she's ours."
I attempted to explain how horrible she'd been to Isaac, and how toxic the environment became when she let loose, but I couldn't find the words and he wasn't listening anyhow.
"I know she's a pain. But she works hard and we need her. There are always arguments in a kitchen when everyone's working toward a deadline. Trust me. I pay attention whenever I'm in there and I know it's fine. Now stop worrying and come here."
His certainty calmed me, since he'd known the staff much longer than I had, and I let him pull me in and kiss me until Crystal was the furthest thing from my mind.
Chapter Eighteen
Wednesday January sixth. The anniversary of my leaving Charles, and time to sign the final paperwork for my divorce. In a few weeks I'd get an envelope in the mail and my marriage would be over.
I knew I wanted that. Dating Kegan made it even clearer how weak and sad my relationship with Charles had been. But it still felt icky. I'd been married to him for six years, after all.
Before I left for my ten o'clock appointment, Kegan called me into our office. "Take your time, okay? Get a coffee, go shopping, do whatever you want. Whatever will make you happy."
I smiled and hugged him. "Thanks." I didn't kiss him; it felt wrong to do that on my way to the lawyer.
He cuddled me close then let me go without trying to kiss me. "I hope it works out."
"Me too."
It did, with almost indecent ease. I signed my name multiple times, paid the lawyer another three hundred dollars, and walked out nearly single.
Kegan had said I should do whatever I want. But what did I want?
I could get a pedicure. Vibrant red toenails, like Charles had hated. But I didn't have the gloves with me to put my support tights back on. Besides, did I want to spend money to essentially stick my tongue out at Charles?
No. I wanted to be at work. I wanted to be with Kegan.
I went back to Steel, pausing only to pick up cookies from Mildred to treat the staff. They'd been working so hard to get Steel up and running, and while Kegan had told them he appreciated it I thought they might like a tangible sign of how much I appreciated it too.
When she gave me the cookies, I said on a whim, "Mildred, what's wrong with Dorothy?"
She folded her arms. "Not a chance. If she wants to tell you anything, it's up to her. I don't share people's secrets. Not the big ones, anyhow."
I sighed. "She won't tell me. I just want to help her."
She patted my arm. "You are. By being there."
"You think so?"
"I know so. Now get back there, and I expect to see you and your man for lunch."
Somehow she'd known we were dating even before I told her or Tanisha. I'd asked her how and she'd just smiled and said, "It's been written all over you both for ages, honey."
"I'll try. He's busy."
"He's got to eat."
"Yes, mommy."
She laughed and shooed me out of the café.
I passed out the cookies, to the staff's delight. Kegan joined us in the dining room, and said quietly to me, "Everything okay?"
I nodded, and he squeezed my arm, avoiding the healing cut
. "Good stuff. Left some papers on your desk. Take a look, would you?"
He settled into a chair with his cookie and I went to my desk. There were indeed papers. There was also a small gift bag. It looked more interesting, so I opened it first.
Inside, a card rested atop crumpled tissue paper.
Mary,
You only have to listen to your own voice from now on. I hope you enjoy these, whenever you're ready.
Kegan
Confused, I pulled away the tissue paper, then stared down into the bag feeling tears and laughter struggling to escape me at once.
I drew out the bottles one by one. Ten different shades of red nail polish.
Laughter won over the tears, and I sat at my desk facing the line of bottles and giggled. Who else but Kegan could make a gift of nail polish so sweet?
"Paperwork amuses you that much?"
I looked up and smiled at him. "You know it's not that. Thank you."
He bent and kissed me. "You are so welcome. Did you even look at the papers?"
"Easy, boss. I was about to."
The first few pages were invoices for the food for Steel's opening, which I'd check against the deliveries when they arrived next week. The last sheet, though, was the confirmation notice from the hotel in Niagara Falls. I held that one up. "Thanks for booking this. How much do I owe you?"
He ran a hand over my hair. "You owe me showing up and having an amazing relaxing weekend. That's it."
"I can afford to pay my share," I said, but then I looked up into his eyes and saw clearly how much he wanted to give me this. I smiled at him. "But I won't. I'll show up and have an amazing relaxing weekend."
He smiled back. "Perfect."
"On one condition."
He raised his eyebrows.
"You have to have a great weekend too."
"Oh, all right."
I laughed and he kissed me on the forehead. "I will, because you'll be there."
We grinned at each other, then he cleared his throat. "I think we should tell the staff we're both going."
I grimaced, and he said, "I know. But if we keep our relationship a secret they'll wonder why when they find out. Nobody's commented, so Crystal might not have told them we're together, but I think we should. Then there's nothing for them to gossip about."
I suspected Crystal would find something, if she hadn't already, but I had to agree with him that secrecy wouldn't do us any favors. "Are you telling or am I?"
"I am." He held out his hand to help me up. "And you'll be beside me."
That's what we did. I stood with him as he reminded the staff he'd be in Niagara for the weekend and told them I would be going with him. He didn't explicitly say we were dating, but the message definitely got through.
Crystal and her friends looked like they were contemplating which kitchen knife to throw at me first. The rest of the staff seemed amused but not otherwise bothered, and Dorothy was clearly delighted.
"Any questions?"
There weren't, so he said, "All right, then." He cocked his head and I heard his phone ringing in the office. "I'll get that, and then Mary and I are going out for lunch and you guys can take a break too. Oh, Mary, the new menu inserts are here. Can you put them into their covers?"
"Of course."
He left, and I took only one step toward the box of inserts before Crystal was in front of me, her main minion Dave behind her. "You and Kegan."
I put my shoulders back and said, "Yes?"
"You're dating. Not just making out in the hallway."
I ignored her words and snarky tone, and Dave's suppressed snickers. "Yes, we're dating. Nothing will change around here, though, and—"
"I give it two weeks, tops. You won't keep him."
I stared at her, surprised she'd be so blatantly rude. She'd never been like that with me before.
"Why not?" Dorothy said from behind me, making me jump. "He obviously cares about her, and you feel the same, right, Mary?"
Before I could respond, Crystal said, "Have you slept with him yet?"
Shock flooded me, and I didn't even try to hide it. "That's so not your business."
She laughed. "That means no. Kegan's had a lot of girlfriends here and some of them liked to talk. Trust me, you're nowhere near wild enough to keep him interested."
*****
Thursday night after underwater hockey, I should have been packing for the Niagara trip but instead sat staring at the bottles of nail polish lined up on my dresser. They were a sweet gift, but they'd come to represent a lot more in my mind.
Sex. With Kegan.
He said he wasn't expecting me to sleep with him in Niagara, and I knew he meant it. But I wanted to, physically at least. Though we hadn't gone further than kissing, the passion behind those kisses had left me breathless and hungry for more.
I could probably have more on the weekend. If I wanted to.
In a few weeks I'd be officially divorced but at the moment I was technically still married. Maybe I should have felt bad about considering sleeping with Kegan before my divorce came through, but I didn't. I was no longer married in any way that mattered. My worries lay elsewhere.
Would I be good enough for Kegan?
Crystal had obviously been trying to upset me with her words, but what had upset me more was how Dorothy deflated. Her reaction made it all too clear that Kegan's exes had revealed how he was in bed; while Crystal might have been exaggerating a touch, she wasn't lying.
I'd slept with two guys before Charles, and neither of them had wanted anything more exotic than a garter belt and heels. Charles hadn't even wanted that: he'd hated that I had more experience than he did and when I'd tentatively suggested a little lingerie might spice things up he'd been so upset I thought we needed spicing up I'd never been able to mention it again. Sex with him had ended up basically a chore, as routine as washing the kitchen floor and nowhere near as satisfying when it was done.
So far Kegan seemed happy with my kisses, if his eagerness to kiss me meant anything. Would I please him, though, if we slept together on the weekend? Or would he be expecting me to be an expert at things I'd never even heard of and be disappointed with my performance?
I turned a nail polish bottle around in my hand, wondering. I'd bought my first garter belt and stockings in years for this trip, along with a sexy lace nightgown and three new bra and panty sets and a sleek skirt and pretty top and high heels for the fancy restaurants we'd no doubt visit. Plus a box of condoms, just in case. Would all that be enough?
I set the nail polish bottle down, then my shoulders relaxed as I spotted the roses he'd given me, now hanging upside down to dry so I could keep them forever. He'd given them to me because he liked me, and right from the beginning he'd insisted he wanted me to be myself with him. Well, "myself" wasn't kinky, and I didn't know how to fake it even if I thought he wanted me to. I briefly considered looking online for inspiration but the thought of all the truly overwhelming material I'd find with a search for "kinky sex" put an end to that.
So I wouldn't fake it. I would be myself.
But myself with red toenails.
When the thought slipped into my mind I knew it was exactly what I needed. A private boost of confidence and sexiness. Not kinky, no, but knowing I'd done my toenails as I loved doing would make it easier to do other things if I wanted. Or not do them if that felt right.
I scanned the bottles then picked the one that seemed to be calling me. When I realized the color was called "Reddy" I figured it was a sign. I was ready to do this.
Taking my time, I painted each toenail, every stroke of the brush pushing Charles a little further back and giving me a little more space to be myself.
When all ten nails were done, I stretched out my legs and admired my handiwork. Even with only one coat, my feet looked elegant and sexy at once. I smiled down at them. I would stand on those two feet, decorated as I liked, and make my own decisions on how my relationship with Kegan would progress.
Between
coats of nail polish, I packed for the trip, making sure I had comfortable clothes for sightseeing and my new skirt and top and shoes. And of course, my new lingerie and the condoms.
It would have to be enough. It was the best I could do.
Chapter Nineteen
The hotel clerk looked confused. "There's a note in your file saying that's what you wanted. I can try to find a different room, but we're pretty booked."
"Please do try."
He began typing, and Kegan said into my ear, "I'm sorry. I definitely did not ask for that."
That was obvious by his reaction when the clerk said it. "It's okay. Really."
"You can keep your side locked."
I frowned at him. "Do you honestly think I'm afraid you'll sneak in on me in the middle of the night? I know you better than that. Adjoining rooms are fine."
Which was good, because the clerk couldn't do anything about it.
In the elevator, Kegan said, "I asked for our rooms to be on the same floor so it'd be easier for us to meet up for breakfast or whatever. I guess they misunderstood."
I slipped my arm around his waist. "I swear to you, I'm fine with it. Stop worrying."
He kissed my temple. "Sorry. You're supposed to be relaxing."
"So are you," I said, snuggling closer to him.
When I opened the door to my room, I gasped at the view. The Falls were incredible from this height, and I could hear the roaring of the water even with the windows closed.
"Pretty, huh?"
I turned and grinned at him. He was standing in my open doorway. "Just a bit."
"Hungry?"
I considered. "Yes, actually."
"The main restaurant here is great, and you'll be able to see the Falls from our table. How's about I call and get us a reservation?"
"Sounds good."
He went to his room, and I began unpacking my things, stashing the condoms in the bedside table and making sure that the other sexier items weren't anywhere he could see them if he happened to come in. I was nearly done when my cell phone rang.
"The earliest they can get us in is eight tonight. Is that okay?"
I glanced at the alarm clock by my bed. It wasn't even seven yet. "I might run down to the coffee shop and get a little snack, but sure. I'd like to see the restaurant."
Toronto Collection Volume 1 (Toronto Series #1-5) Page 91
