by Barbara Goss
This time, Chase responded by putting his arms around her waist and pulling her against him. She heard him breathing in her ear, and none too softly. What was happening? Grace was feeling things she’d never felt before. She felt as if she never wanted to leave Chase's arms. It was as if she’d finally found where she belonged, yet she knew, in those few seconds, that it was only a knee-jerk reaction, and that he’d soon regret pulling her to him in a romantic fashion.
Chase stroked the back of her neck for a few seconds and then pulled away. With a somewhat blank look, he studied her face without speaking, and then he said, “For a moment, I thought…” He stopped, took in a deep breath, and moved over to the horse. “Come, apologize to Sadie.”
Grace joined him and patted Sadie as she apologized. Then she turned to him. “You started to say something. You thought…what?” she asked.
“It’s nothing,” he said turning away. “Shall I drive us back?”
“Yes, please,” she answered, still wondering what he’d been trying to say.
He helped her up and took the driver’s seat. He began to explain things as he did them, but Grace put her hand over his. “It’s all right, you needn’t continue. I’m not going to learn to drive. I’ve had enough.”
Chase looked disappointed. “It’s my fault this happened. I let you trot along at too fast a pace for the uneven ground.”
“I was nervous the whole time,” she confessed. “I’m just not cut out to be a driver, I guess.”
“I'd be happy to continue teaching if you’d like another crack at it.”
Grace enjoyed her time with Chase and thought that if she'd continued the lessons, not only would it give her something to do with her time, but it would also allow her to be alone with him again. She was surprised at how excited that prospect made her feel.
What was happening? She’d been hugged by Graham and hadn’t felt this giddy.
“I’ll think about it,” she said, finally. “I’d rather watch you drive for a while. I might be able to learn more by watching you.”
He smiled. “Why didn’t I think of that? Tomorrow, we’ll take a drive, and you can be an observer.”
Chase stopped the buggy by the house and jumped down to assist Grace. When he took her hand, she looked up at him and her gaze nearly took his breath away. She had eyes almost the same color as Mary’s had been. Her hair was a bit darker blonde, but then Mary had spent so much time outdoors that the sun had bleached it lighter. He set her onto the ground and watched her walk to the house. She was much tinier, as well. Mary wasn’t plump, but she was a little more filled out than Grace, and she had been more muscular as well. Mary also had freckles and cute dimples, and Grace did not.
Chase sighed.
Why was he torturing himself by comparing the two?
Chase unhitched the horse and led her to the barn. For a few minutes, when he’d held Grace close, he’d imagined he was holding his wife again, and his instincts had caused him to pull her closer. It affected him so much that he almost lost control of himself. It was fortunate he has come to his senses and realized she wasn’t Mary, but his father’s bride-to-be, before he made a complete fool of himself, but now he felt a bit embarrassed.
He hoped she wouldn’t mention the incident to his father. That would be all he’d need.
That evening at dinner, he was barely able to look at Grace. He felt ashamed of his randy behavior. He sensed her eye on him several times, but he refused to look her way. He wondered what she thought of him and his disgraceful conduct. The woman had been frightened, and he’d almost taken liberties with her. She must be disgusted with him.
His father moved away from the table and carried his plate to the counter. “I’ll be going out for a while. I bid you all a good night.” He left the room, walking upstairs to his bedroom. Chase wondered if his father was going to get all slicked up and take the big carriage into town again. Did he have a saloon woman meeting him? There were no single women or widows in the area, so it had to be a saloon woman he was meeting. Then it dawned on Chase who the woman might be. George Manning had died two years ago and left behind a fairly attractive wife. Could he…?
No. He was betrothed to Grace. It had to be a saloon woman he was seeing.
Grace picked up her plate and also pushed away from the table. “Well, I guess there’ll be no walk tonight.”
Olive also got up and started collecting plates from their place settings. “It’s such a lovely night, why don’t you take her for a walk, Chase? It would do you both some good to get out of the house. Dora will play with Chloe.”
Chloe clapped her hands with delight. “We can play dollies, Auntie Dora.”
Chase felt uncomfortable now that Chloe was looking forward to playing with Dora, and he’d have no choice but to walk with Grace. It wasn't that he didn’t want to, it’s just that after what had happened earlier, he still felt awkward. But it would, at least, get him out of playing dolls with Chloe‒it was the only game they played that he disliked.
Grace looked up at him. Unsure of himself, he stared back. When her lips curled up into a smile, he quickly returned it. “Sure, why not?”
Dora ran after a squealing Chloe, while Chase escorted Grace outside. “I don’t mean to rush you, but I do want to get back to spend some time with Chloe.”
“I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that,” she said as he guided her down the lane. “I’m sorry if I overstepped my bounds the night you let me help put Chloe to bed.”
“You didn’t.” he protested, “not at all.”
“You didn't invite me to do it again,” she said.
He didn’t know what to say. How could he tell her it was because she wasn’t Mary. He couldn’t tell her that.
“You did nothing wrong. The problem was with me. Until I am able to overcome this problem, I think it best to go it alone.”
“I didn’t step on your toes, did I?”
“No, not at all.”
“It’s me who needs to apologize,” he said, hesitantly, purposely changing the subject.
“For what?”
“I got a bit carried away today after you fell. I was just trying to calm you and—”
“You were very comforting, and it helped me more than you realize,” she said.
“I meant no harm, it’s just been a long time since I’ve…I’ve been close to another woman.” Then he said quickly and softly, “Not since Mary.”
“You know, Chase, I lived my whole life in an orphanage and have never felt loved by anyone. So take my advice and find someone to love again. Life is too short to live without a mate.”
“I’m not sure I could find someone else.”
“Of course you could. You don’t have to stop loving Mary. A new woman wouldn’t replace her‒she’d be a whole new life’s chapter,” Grace said. “If you did marry again and had another child, would you stop loving Chloe? No, you’d love them both.”
Grace stopped walking. “This is usually where your father and I turn around in order to return before dark.”
Chase turned around with her. “That’s pretty much what my father tells me.”
“He’s right. He’s ready to move on to his second chapter,” she said. “By the way, where does he go all gussied up some nights?”
Chase thought he’d best keep his thoughts and guesses to himself. He shrugged. “I have no idea, Grace. I’ve wondered about that myself.
“So, are we on for tomorrow?” Chase asked. He had to change the subject whenever the conversation got too close to things he shouldn’t or couldn’t talk about.
“Yes, but I won’t drive—at least, not yet.”
Chase remembered how she’d pulled hard on the reins causing the horse to rear, and the sight of her flying off the buggy, made him start to laugh.
“What’s so funny?” she asked.
“I can’t tell you,” he said trying to keep a straight face but not succeeding.
“Why not? Tell me!”
“You’d probably swat me if I told you.”
“Now you have to tell me,” Grace said with her hands poised on her hips.
Chase struggled to silence his laughter. When he’d contained himself, he looked at her and said sheepishly, “I was just reenacting the incident with the buggy today in my mind, and while it wasn’t funny at the time…” he started laughing again.
He felt Grace’s fist hitting his arm.
“Ouch,” she said, holding the knuckles of one hand with the other. She reached up and ran her hand gently along his biceps. “No wonder. Your arms are like steel.”
Her touch on his upper arm caused a reaction within him, like something he hadn’t felt in years. “It’s from hard work.”
He turned and asked, “Is your hand all right?” He reached over and rubbed her fist. “That will teach you,” he said, and he burst out laughing again.
She raised her other fist and said, “Next time I’ll aim for somewhere softer.” She pulled back her fist and pretended to punch him in the stomach, but he grabbed her arm, and suddenly she was pressed close in his embrace again.
How did this happen? He had no idea. It was like a magnet had just pulled them together.
She didn’t resist but rested her head on his chest. He felt her other arm go around his waist. “I wasn’t really going to punch you,” she whispered.
Chase’s stomach felt like butterflies were fluttering about inside of it. She felt so good in his arms. Without thinking, he squeezed her even closer. Instinctively, he went to kiss her cheek near her ear, but she turned her head so suddenly that before he knew it, his lips were on hers.
She didn't object. At first, he was so stunned that he froze, and didn’t move his lips at all. When he realized how good it felt, he moved his lips over hers, slowly and passionately. When she returned the kiss, he moaned slightly, and her arm went up around his neck. As he kissed her, her hand stroked the back of his neck, and he felt as if he might burst out of his skin. He pulled her as closely as he could, but not close enough for her to feel his desire, as that might scare her.
The kiss finally broke and he looked down at her. The sun had faded but the moonlight made it possible to see the passionate expression on her face. He leaned his forehead on hers. “What are we to do now?” he whispered.
Chapter 11
Grace closed her eyes and let the feelings of exhilaration calm down before answering.
“About what?” she whispered.
“This attraction we seem to have for each other. You’re to marry my father, remember?”
“He’s procrastinating, and I get the feeling his heart isn’t in it, Chase.”
Their embrace ended, and they resumed their walking. “Has he ever kissed you?” Chase asked.
“No,” Grace said with a snigger. “He hasn’t even held my hand yet. We did have a loose hug once.”
“I can’t figure that man out.” Chase stopped and scratched his head. “He sends for a mail order bride, drops her off at his home, and then proceeds to practically ignore her. I don’t get it.”
Grace laid her head on his chest. “Does it matter?”
Chase put his arms around her and hugged her tightly. “Not to me.” He lifted her chin with his finger and touched her lips tenderly a few times, before diving back for another frenzied kiss. The emotion he put into it caused her body to respond in ways she’d never felt before. She now felt as if she’d tasted such bliss, and she’d not be able to live without it.
Chase ended the kiss and pulled her into him, closer than ever before, while at the same time he murmured, “Mary!” passionately.
Two frightening things hit Grace at once. The first was hearing him call out, in passion, to his first wife. The second was that he’d pulled her much too close to be deemed appropriate. It was as if someone had thrown a bucket of ice water over her. She ripped herself out of his arms, spun around, and ran down the lane and into the house.
Graham hadn’t dressed up as usual and gone into town. Instead, he waited until he heard Grace and Chase leave, and then he went downstairs. Olive was at the sink washing dishes. She turned when he came into the room.
“It worked,” she said with a grin.
Graham winked and went outside. He walked along the same road, but kept himself hidden a few feet away, where he could peer through the bushes and watch them. He felt like a spy, but in order for his plan to work, he had to be aware of how things were going and how much harder he had to push to make it happen.
He couldn’t hear what they were saying, but so far, he could tell they were deep in conversation. He saw them joking and laughing, when suddenly he felt his eyes widen, and he broke out in a smile.
He followed them to where the lane curved into the road, and again they were in each other’s arms. He was a happy man. Before he could be discovered, he ran silently back to the house, gave Olive the gesture of a heart with his fingers, and ran up to his room. He had to let them think he’d gone to town.
Chase followed behind Grace, but at a slower pace because he didn’t want to catch up to her. He went upstairs, sat on his bed, and pounded his fist into his pillow. Why had he called out Mary’s name? Yes, Grace reminded him of her, but it was a terrible thing to do to someone who was as love-struck as he was. He knew she’d be hurt and perhaps be crying. How could he fix this?
The last time he’d been so filled with passion, it had been with Mary. In fact, until today, she was the only one he’d ever felt that with, so it seemed only natural to say her name, didn't it? He shook his head.
No, It had been a cruel thing to do.
At breakfast, Grace came to the table last again. She greeted everyone and kissed the top of Chloe’s blonde head.
She sat down, cleared her throat, and decided to make her announcement before Chase caught her eye and changed her mind.
“I’ve decided to return to Maryland.”
“What?” both Chase and Graham said in unison.
“Will you come back?” Chloe asked with a frown.
Grace shook her head.
Neither Chase nor Graham said another word, but they both were solemn.
“I want you to stay here,” Chloe said.
“I can’t Chloe,” Grace said. “But Dora will continue with playtime, won’t you, Dora?”
Dora nodded. “It won’t be the same without you. Why are you leaving?”
“I just don’t feel as though I belong, and I’m not marrying your father, so under the circumstances, it’s best that I leave.”
“You’re breaking our betrothal?” Graham wore a frown, but at the same time, reached for another slab of ham.
Chase, on the other hand, just sat and stared at her. She refused to meet his eyes, though she could feel his piercing through her.
“If someone will drive me to town, I’ll buy my train ticket.”
“I’ll drive you,” Chase said, quickly.
No one else offered, so she had no choice but to accept.
“Right after breakfast, then?” she said.
He nodded.
Chase helped Grace up onto the bench of the one-seater and drove off without a word, turning the buggy toward town. After a few minutes of riding, he turned off onto a narrow side road.
Grace recognized that he hadn't taken the way to town. “Where are we going?”
“It’s a shortcut.” He pulled off the side of the road, steered across a field, and stopped the buggy beneath two large shade trees.
He threw the reins down and turned to her. “Don’t go, Grace.”
“I have no choice,” she said, turning her head as a few tears found their way down her cheek.
“I’m so very sorry,” he said.
“You did nothing wrong, Chase. I understand about last night,” she said, looking straight ahead. She knew that if she looked at him, she’d soften. She'd realized the night before that she loved Chase instead of Graham. Breaking a betrothal was serious, but there wasn’t any way she could marry Graham,
even if he finally started acting like a betrothed man. She loved Chase, a man who was a loving father, and a loyal husband, even after his wife's death.
“Since I’m no longer betrothed to your father, I no longer belong here. My whole purpose for being here was to get to know Graham and then to marry him,” she said.
“I thought about this all night,” Chase said. “I think I’ve discovered what my father is‒or was‒doing.”
She swung around and looked at him. “What?”
“I think he brought you here for me, and not for himself.”
Grace moved her gaze forward again. “Do you really think he’d go that far? Where I come from, a betrothal is a serious commitment.”
“It’s not as serious here, especially since it hasn’t been announced publicly. That’s another reason for my theory.
“Did he write and ask for your picture?”
She nodded.
“He received about fifty replies to his advertisement for a bride and chose the one who looked the most like Mary.”
Grace gasped. “Do I look like Mary?”
Chase shrugged. “In some ways. The hair color, the eyes—well, yes, I’d say you do.”
“So you think your father chose me for you, and then just left us to discover we had feelings for each other?” Grace asked.
“Yes, I do think that. And I’m going to confront him about it.”
“I’d be curious to know what he says.”
“Grace, please don’t leave.”
“I did want to stay for Chloe’s birthday.”
“I’m begging you to stay. Now that I’ve begun to join the world of the living again, I need you more than ever.”
Grace wondered if she could bear to face the situation until Chloe’s birthday. She was in love with a man who still loved his wife and would probably never get over her, and now she had to face a man who might be angry with her for breaking their betrothal without talking it over with him first. Then there was Chloe! She was a darling girl whom Grace had come to love more each day. The longer she stayed, the harder it would be to leave her. She respected Chase for not using his daughter to persuade her to stay.
