He wasn’t worth it.
Chapter 9
Hank
I’d never been good with ridicule. Or rejection. Or women in general.
I liked my life simple. I didn’t want complications. That was why I hadn’t been in a serious relationship in years. Meredith had spelled it out clearly: I wasn’t good enough for her. And then Kara… sometimes when she talked, I felt like I was trapped in a class I never signed up to take. She wrote technical manuals for the government. Some of the things she knew about were things that I never even knew existed. Trying to keep up with her was like cramming for a test I was never going to pass.
I wasn’t smart enough for the women I chose. I wasn’t ambitious enough. I wasn’t good enough. That was why I avoided relationships. But Jonnie… she was getting under my skin, and I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t go down that road again. I didn’t want to be rejected again for something I would eventually come up short on.
I couldn’t stop thinking about her. I couldn’t stop thinking about the taste of her lips or the feel of her skin. I couldn’t stop wanting to know what was going on beneath those long, sexy skirts she was always wearing.
It was late and I needed to be up in a few hours, but I couldn’t sleep. I rolled over again and again, lying in an empty bed that I desperately wished was occupied by a beautiful, red-headed woman with curves in all the right places. I wanted her more than I could express, wanted to do so much more than just relieve that basic set of physical needs. I didn’t want a one-night stand. I wanted to get to know her curves, to get to know the story behind every scar, every freckle. I wanted to get to know the feel of her body in the dark better than I knew my own.
I groaned, tossing the thin blanket aside and climbing off the damn bed. I couldn’t lay there with those thoughts in my mind and just… I couldn’t do it anymore. I grabbed a t-shirt and my keys and ignored the little voice in the back of my head that was trying to remind me why I kept pushing her away, why I kept ignoring this other side, this drive that was suddenly taking over.
Jonnie lived across town, not far from the school. I knew her address because it was in the personnel files I was given when I first took this vandalism case. I shouldn’t have driven by it half a dozen times over the past fourteen days, nor should I have cared that her car was safely parked in the driveway at a decent time most nights. I shouldn’t have taken a special interest in this woman who was just a small part of a larger picture. I should have been concentrating on the vandals who had broken into the high school three times and stolen more than thirty thousand dollars worth of equipment.
That didn’t change my reality. It didn’t change that Jonnie had gotten under my skin and I had to do something to get her out.
I pounded on the door, aware that I was likely going to frighten the single woman who lived behind it. But, no, she opened the door without bothering to check the peephole. That was something I’d have to talk to her about, but… later.
She wore an oversized t-shirt and not much else. I slid my hand around her throat and pushed her back against the wall, slamming the door with the heel of my boot.
“Do you often open the door wearing this little bit of clothing?”
“Only when I see you drive up in the noisy Jeep of yours.”
I studied her and the lack of surprise in her eyes. It was almost as if she’d been expecting me.
Maybe she had been.
I grabbed the hem of her shirt and yanked it up, tearing it over her head. There was surprise then, but it was so wrapped up in desire that it was hardly there. Not that I paid that much attention to her face. Her breasts… I don’t think I’d ever seen anything more beautiful in all my life. These perfectly round, perfectly formed mounds of flesh with these perfectly pink nipples in the center… did I say they were perfect? And her narrow waist flared out into full hips that were barely covered with a thin strip of white lace that moved down into a triangle that barely covered her lovely pubic mound. I slid my hand over her belly, teasing her with the idea that I was going to touch that highly sensitive spot, but then I let my fingers move off to the side, tugging at the material on one hip, then the other. I lifted it, pushing it down just enough to discover that she was one of those ladies who paid attention to the grooming of all her special places.
“Nice,” I said, my voice almost unrecognizably husky.
She blushed as my eyes came back up to hers. And that told me things that got my heart pounding a little harder. A beautiful woman. A privileged woman. Yet, she still blushed when a man complimented her body. I liked the implication that offered, the idea that she hadn’t been complimented too many times.
I wasn’t naive. I knew women these days weren’t as particular about the number of men they took as lovers as they might have been once upon a time. And I was all for it, this free love, independent sort of spirit. I particularly liked a woman who knew her way around a man’s body, one who didn’t have to be told what to do at the most inopportune time. But there was still a part of me—a caveman part of my mind—that liked the idea that the woman I desired above all others hadn’t slept with the entire football team in high school.
I stepped back so I could get the full view. Her hands came up to her breasts, hiding her nipples behind her palms. I didn’t mind. The pressure of her own touch gave a new dimension to her breasts that was lovely to look at. And it gave me the opportunity to allow my eyes to wander over some of the other, just as exciting, areas of that gorgeous body.
And it offered a lovely angle of a small mole that hid just under her left breast.
She was so beautiful. I don’t know where I found the patience to just stand there and look. There was just something about her that made me want to drink it all in.
And then she dropped her hands to her sides, her thumbs hooking under the edge of her panties.
“You might as well see it all.”
Her words were brave and seductive, but the breathiness of her tone suggested a little nervousness, as did the slight shake in her hands. That didn’t stop her from slowly slipping the material over her hips, and it didn’t stop me from leaning against the far wall and watching the show.
God, she was beautiful!
It took my breath watching her like that. She bent over to slip her panties over her ankles. When she stood again, she had one hand poised in just the right place to keep me from the treasure I’d been waiting for. And that made my cock ache in a way that was almost painful.
“Okay, enough games.”
I grabbed her, threw her over my shoulder, and slapped her ass, making her cry out as I started down the first hallway I came to. It was the wrong one. It led to a laundry room and a bedroom that was being used as storage. I turned around, and she giggled, her hands tugging at the back of my shirt, pulling it free of my jeans.
“The last door down that hall,” she said, pointing with her toes.
I ran my hand over the back of her leg all the way up to her ass. She sighed when my fingers grazed the lovely lips of her cunt where they peeked out between her thighs. Completely shaved, she was just begging oral entertainment, and I was aching to taste every inch of her. We burst through the door, and I couldn’t have been happier to see the massive, queen-sized bed waiting for us. I dropped her in the center of the mattress and pushed her legs unceremoniously apart, diving in as she laughed – until her laughter died in her throat and turned into something like a groan.
I kissed her inner things as I worked my way down to her ankles. She had delicate ankles, the kind that tapered into a narrow, but shapely space that seemed hardly capable of holding up an entire body. Beautiful. I kissed the bump of her ankle bone before moving low over her foot, making her sigh the most seductive sigh I’d ever heard in all my life.
My God, I was hurting!
I needed her, needed to be inside of her. Just looking at her made my entire body ache. My cock was hard as a rock, but it wasn’t the only part of me that ached to hold her, to touch her. And
that frightened me a little. I thought I was in love with Meredith. I was ready to turn my back on my parents and go off to college with her, to move into a tiny apartment and work a menial job just to be close to her. I would have done anything for her. But touching her didn’t feel anything like this.
What did that mean?
I was so glad I was too far gone to overanalyze it.
I made my way slowly back up her body, slipping my fingers over her swollen lips, brushing against her clit until she raised her hips, urging me deeper against her. It was her desire that made me lose control. It was the visible evidence that she was right there with me, as desperate as I was to take this thing to the next level.
As I moved up over her, she tugged at my shirt, pulling it over my head as she leaned forward and kissed my chest, kissed the small tattoos that dotted my ribs and pecs. She touched them, her fingers moving with conscious precision. I knew I’d have to explain, but now wasn’t the moment.
I tugged at the front of my jeans, wishing I’d thought to kick off my boots before I climbed onto the bed. I couldn’t imagine the mess I was making of her delicate comforter. More important, I couldn’t imagine how I was going to get my damn pants off with those heavy boots as an anchor at the bottom.
She helped, sliding her hands underneath my briefs, the motion of her hands as they slid over my bare ass pushing the material down. The back wasn’t really where I needed help, but whatever worked. And her thighs came up around me as her hips pressed roughly against me. And I couldn’t… fuck me!
I had to push her away—as much as I regretted it—and climb off the bed to kick off my damn boots to strip my pants away. She rolled onto her side to watch, a little smile forming on her lips.
“You’re enjoying this?” I asked.
“Hell, yeah.”
She laughed, and I couldn’t help but laugh a little, too. But then I was naked, and she was naked and… there was nothing stopping us now.
I grabbed her legs and hooked them up over my shoulders as I dove back onto the bed. She welcomed me, her hands sliding over my waist, tugging me closer to her. I studied her face, loving the swollen look of her eyelids, the way her desire burned in every crevice and orifice. She reached between our bodies and wrapped her hand around me. For a moment, I felt like a teenager, about to explode from a lack of control. But I wasn’t a kid anymore.
She guided me to her, and I slipped inside, moving slowly to accommodate her relaxing muscles. She closed her eyes, raising her hips as a soft sigh slipped from between her lips. I was right there with her, my body aching with the enormity of my need. Sounds I’d never made before left my throat, enveloping us in our mutual pleasure and excitement. And things hadn’t even started to heat up yet.
I ran my hands along the outside of her thighs, laying still as her body adjusted to the invasion of my cock. She opened her eyes after a moment, those green eyes burning as if the hottest fire in the world was at work there. She moved her hips, encouraging me to set a rhythm. It felt so good… I moved slowly at first, but I couldn’t help myself. And the movement of her hips…she clearly didn’t mind when I moved a little faster, when I thrust almost roughly against her. We moved together, quickly, deeply, both of us lost in our own little bubble of pleasure. It was one of the most intense things I’d ever experienced. And when she whimpered, moans coming so fast she couldn’t voice them quick enough, when her muscles jerked against me, milking me, I couldn’t hold back any more.
I sank onto the mattress beside her, arranging her limp body so that she rested against me, fitting against my chest perfectly. For a long moment, all I could do was lay there and let my body feel everything it was trying to feel. It was like sensory overload. She buried her face in the pillows, clearly struggling a little herself. And then my hand moved slowly over her belly to her hip. Her skin was like silk and it smelled like the sweetest bit of lavender. I brushed my lips over her shoulder, breathing her in now that the desperation was gone and the need had been satiated.
“Is this just an attempt to satisfy curiosity?”
I pulled back and turned her head a little so I could look her in the eye. “What kind of question is that?”
“You made yourself pretty clear this afternoon.”
“Yeah…”
I kissed her jaw lightly, brushing my lips against the silky skin of her face. She sighed, leaning back into me a little more.
“You were right when you said I hadn’t taken the time to get to know you. I want to know you.”
She turned into me, her hand sliding over my chest. “I’m glad.”
I pressed a finger under her chin and kissed her gently. “You’re a fireball. I didn’t want to do this, didn’t want to get involved. But you wouldn’t let me walk away.”
“I like you.”
“You don’t know me.”
“I want to know you.” She touched one of the tattoos on my chest. “I want to know why Mitchell Knight is so important to you. I want to know why you work for his wife. I want to know how you got involved in this security firm. But first, I want to know how a man can so strongly deny just how well read he is.”
“I don’t deny it.”
“You do. You got angry at me when you thought I was suggesting you shouldn’t be so well read.”
“No. I was annoyed with you thinking it was impossible for me to be well read and still be just a cowhand.”
“I’ve never said ‘just a cowhand.’”
“No, you didn’t.”
“You heard what you expected to hear.”
“Maybe.”
“I don’t care what you do for a living. I’m just curious how you got there.”
I kissed her neck, trying not to take offense at that. I’d been told I’m a little short tempered when it comes to people questioning my intelligence or my place in society. I liked to think of myself as laid back. Maybe I wasn’t as laid back as I wanted to believe.
“It’s an honest job. I like being outside. I like being around the animals. I grew up on the back of a horse. I think I’ll probably die on the back of a horse.”
“That’s a sobering thought.”
“You know what I mean. I’ll probably still be riding when I’m an old man.”
“I can’t imagine you as an old man.”
I smiled, brushing her hair away from her face. “It happens to the best of us.”
I tried to imagine her as an older woman. It was difficult to imagine because her skin was so smooth and her body so youthful. But I imagined she’d be a kind woman, a gentle woman, in her old age. A little more laid back, a little more confident in her beliefs. And I imagined that white hair would look good on her, though I’d miss the chestnut depths of her red hair.
“Tell me about you,” I said softly against the side of her face. “Tell me why literature. Why the middle of nowhere, Wyoming? Why you left your life down in Texas?”
“Why did you leave Texas?”
“I joined the army.”
“What about your family?”
“My parents are both dead, and my sister lives in New York with her husband.” I brushed a piece of hair from her face. “What about you? Did you have a falling out with your parents or something?”
“Not until they found out I was moving up here.” She sighed. “My mother always imagined I’d follow in her footsteps: become a lawyer’s wife and head up the same charities she runs. That’s not what I saw myself doing.”
“Why literature?”
“Because I’ve always loved great literature. Whenever my parents were gone on long business trips, or they sent me up to my room while they had some big dinner party, I’d lose myself in a good book and it would make me feel better about being excluded. When I got to college, that was all I could imagine myself spending four years studying.”
“And Wyoming?”
She laughed softly. “It was as far away from Texas as I could find a position. I wanted to be on my own for the first time in my life. I k
new if I stayed in Texas, or even anywhere near Texas, they would still come around and badger me about my choices. I didn’t want that.”
“But Midnight, Wyoming?”
She giggled again. “It’s a beautiful place.”
“You could have gotten a job in Dallas or Chicago. Why Midnight, Wyoming?”
“I liked the idea of working with a small school system. And I liked the area when I drove up to interview.”
I shook my head. “I know what I see in this area. I can even understand what all these celebrities who’ve been buying out local ranches and building homes see in it. But a privileged girl from Austin? With an education degree? Wouldn’t your little rebellion against your parents been better served by a position in an inner-city school?”
She smacked my arm. “I’m not rebelling against my parents. Children do that. I’m not a child.”
“You’re definitely not a child.”
I ran my hand over her hip and tugged her ass closer to me. She sighed when my fingers brushed against the still swollen lips of her cunt. She kissed my chest and my throat, nuzzling against my shoulder.
“I like it here,” she said softly. “I like the people I work with. The kids. And I like you.”
“Yeah?” I lifted her chin a little. “I kind of like you, too.”
“Only kind of?”
I shrugged. “Nothing’s perfect.”
She smacked me again, and I laughed, snagging her wrist before she could do it a third time. I pressed my lips to her palm and sighed.
“Why do you work for Sutherland Knight?”
Her fingers moved over my tattoo again, the one that marked my body permanently with the date of Mitchell’s death. I pulled her hand away and kissed her palm again.
“He was my friend. He was the only one in my squad who took the time to talk to me and get to know me. When he got married, he asked me to stand up with him. He was a good, strong man. I looked up to him and counted him as one of only a few good friends I’ve ever had.”
She shifted against me, pressing her hips into mine. It was distracting.
Gray Wolf Security: Wyoming Page 8
