by Terri Nolan
“My secret ingredient,” said Nora.
Maggie served Birdie first. She took a bite and detected a slight flavor not usually associated with cobblers. Birdie rolled it around in her mouth. “Anise?”
“You pip,” said Nora.
“Can we get back to the discussion?” said Louis. “Look, son, you’ve done everything right. You’ve taken the issue to your commanding officer and got no result. You might have to go up the ladder. Meanwhile, call the defense league, get yourself a rep.”
“Craig was specific that I not tell a soul,” said Thom. “Besides this isn’t an official misconduct complaint.”
“Then make a record of your actions. What you learned, when you learned it, who you reported it to. Be as specific as possible. Note time and location. For example, after you learned of Santa Monica’s bulletin did you notify Craig immediately?”
“Yes. He was in the hallway. On his cell. I had to wait a few minutes.”
“Good detail. Add that to your notes. CYA.” Cover your ass. “Keep the record updated. If you are being watched, your behaviors will be judged. Deviations noted. Don’t remove any devices you find on your gear. That’d be a clear tip off. Don’t vary your routine.”
“There’s no more routine,” said Thom. “This case just exploded.”
“What I meant were the women,” said Louis. “How often do you do that? Is picking up women in bars normal for you?”
Thom’s impatience with this aspect manifest in his jaw.
“It happens enough that he’s earned a reputation as a player,” said Arthur.
“So disappointing,” said Nora. “My son, the adulterer.”
“Yes, I’m a sleazeball,” said Thom. “Let’s move past it.”
“Poor Anne,” moaned Nora.
Thom jumped up from the table so fast the chair fell over. He knelt on the floor with upraised arms. “O my God! I am heartily sorry for having offended thee! And I detest my sins! Because of thy just punishments! But most of all because they offend thee! My God! Who are all-good and deserving of all my love! I firmly resolve! With the help of thy grace! To sin no more and to avoid the near occasion of sin! AMEN.”
The Keane’s were stunned. Not by the act of contrition, but by the sudden gear shift into angry mode.
“Happy, Ma?” said Thom. He punched through the kitchen door.
No one spoke. They just listened to the squeaky hinges as the door swung back and forth.
When it finally stilled Arthur said, “I was kidding about the player comment.”
“Who are we to judge him?” said Maggie. “After all, my husband was a murderer.”
Birdie shivered. There was a word the family had never uttered. Murderer. Gerard’s downfall was referred to as “crimes.” Birdie couldn’t even write the word in the article. Instead, she quoted from his confession letter. She even tried to forget that he had killed a man while standing mere feet from her. At some point, the next breakthrough word would be rape. Birdie sat on her hands.
Nora sobbed. Louis took her into his arms.
“Thom’s on the roof looking down,” said Birdie. “Toes on the edge.”
“I’ll talk to him,” said Arthur.
“I’ll go,” said Birdie.
_____
Birdie opened the door to the timeout room and gently closed it behind her. Thom’s profile was silhouetted by the poolhouse light. He blew cigarette smoke out the porthole window.
“I’m sick of Ma’s condescension,” said Thom. “Ah, poor Anne. She dotes on her daughter-in-law as if she walked on water.”
“Has Anne pushed you away?” said Birdie.
Thom nodded.
“Her kicking you out … it has nothing to do with women?”
“She could care less. If I’m getting it elsewhere I’m not bothering her for it.”
“The affair? Is that what changed this time?”
“I don’t know.”
“So … womanizing is a symptom, not a cause.”
“Even Anne wouldn’t expect me to be asexual forever.”
“Why not just say so?”
“I’m devoted to my wife. I love her.”
“How long are you going to love a woman who no longer loves you back?”
“Good question,” said Thom.
Birdie gently rubbed his upper back. “Let’s finish dessert and go home.”
“Give me a few more minutes.”
_____
Nora hugged her son when he returned. “I’m sorry, Thom. My allegiance is with you.”
“Ma … I’m overly sensitive right now.” He kissed his mother’s cheek and retook his seat at the table. Thom cast his eyes at the untouched cobbler and pushed it away.
“The encounter with the woman … is there a possibility it was a setup?” said Birdie.
“Maybe,” said Thom. “George mentioned that in Jelena’s interview she said the bartender knew me. But, I’d never been to that bar before. And I’m pretty certain that I didn’t know him from another.”
“When did you tell George about the IA?” said Louis.
“At breakfast before we split up.”
“Is that normal for you?”
“Breakfast or telling him everything?”
“Both.”
“Yeah, pretty much.”
Louis rubbed his palms across the stubble on his face. What a rough night.
“The Paige Street protocols are back in place until we know the score,” said Arthur. “I have your back, brother. Whatever you need.”
“Me, too,” said Birdie. “You can stay at my house as long as you need to.”
“Thanks.” Thom brought ashtrays to the table and the lighting commenced. “I’ll clear.” He stacked up dessert bowls.
“Bird, dear,” said Maggie. “We never asked. How did it go for you after the article came out?”
“I got a few calls of sympathy for our family situation. Some colleagues congratulated me on my courage to bring the story public. Mostly, it was people saying shit because they thought they could do so anonymously. There was the usual smattering of crazies. One random person said something about pretty dead fish.”
A loud crash made everyone jump. Their nerves already scrambled by Thom’s sudden outburst. This time he dropped all the dishes.
twenty-six
“Drive faster,” said Thom.
“No,” said Birdie. “I have a suspended license. I can’t risk getting pulled over.”
“It’s weird to be the passenger in my own car. I should be driving.”
“You’ve been drinking.”
“Not enough to impair my driving skills.”
“Stop worrying. I promise I didn’t delete the message. It’ll be there when we get home.”
“Is there a way to find out where the call came from?”
“No. It went to my extension at the paper.”
“I might be able to get a hookup on the phone.”
“Don’t count on it. The Times and the LAPD are not good neighbors. Besides, I haven’t had a physical phone in the building for years. Calls go to a voicemail service. Storage is on some switch.”
“That might be better. Can you forward the calls?”
“I think so.”
“Then I’ll get a hookup on your phone.”
“You’d have to get permission from the paper. And that would never happen. They’d consider any calls their property. And I’m not sure forwarding would capture the caller ID anyway.”
“I’ll still write an affidavit and try to get a warrant. Tell me again what the message said.”
“Quit asking. I don’t remember the specifics.”
Thom’s stressing gave Birdie a headache. She cracked the window for fresh air, smelled the perfume of the Pacific. Fish and seawee
d. Firepit woodsmoke. It gave off a neorealism mystique. What secrets hid in the scented fog?
“Why do you think it’s the killer?” said Birdie.
“He wants attention. It’s why he wrote dead fish on the mirror. Reaching out to a journalist is a logical step for an attention-seeking psycho.”
“But what’s the connection? Your identity as the investigator hasn’t been made public. Our family relationship can’t be established.”
“It has nothing to do with me. Your article made a splash Sunday morning. He probably got your name from that. Hey, when we get home I could use your help downloading an audio file George sent to my phone. I’d like to move it to my laptop. Also, some emails from Seymour.”
“Easy enough. What else do you need?”
“Would you mind if I use the white board in your office for some meeting prep? I’ve got a couple of files to go through.”
“No problem.”
Birdie turned onto her street and caught a glimpse of a coyote walking on the sidewalk. The headlights caught the eyes and reflected back gold. She’d seen a few lately. She doubted this one came all the way to Hancock Park from the foothills. It was probably an urban coyote. Born and raised here. Living on house pets.
Birdie pulled into the driveway and braked abruptly. “There’s a package on the porch.”
Before Thom had a chance to say a word, she’d thrown the car into park and was out. She came back a moment later and flung the package at Thom. “It’s for you.” She pressed the remote for the massive gate. It slowly fanned inward.
“You’re disappointed?” said Thom.
“I’ve been expecting something. No big deal.”
Thom flicked on the dome light and examined the padded manila envelope. It was addressed to him c/o Birdie. A red post office stamp that read: KNOWN CUSTOMER was in the upper left corner where a return address should be. It had a Santa Ana postmark—a city in nearby Orange County. Inside, a cell phone and a sheet of printed instructions.
“It’s from Noa. Ron’s PI buddy. I’ll call him first. Then we’ll listen to the message.”
Birdie was going to tease him about being all hot and bothered in regard to the message only to abandon work-related haste for emotional torment, but she saw Thom’s misery in profile.
“Good,” she said, trying to be upbeat. “You’ll find out about Anne. One way or the other.”
“One way or the other,” echoed Thom.
Birdie drove down the driveway and swung the car around, lining it up for the garage. She hit a second remote and the garage door rolled upward.
“Take my stuff in?” Thom’s briefcase, laptop, and case files were in the backseat.
“Sure. Noa’s in town, you know. Ron’s with him now.”
“Discussing business?”
Birdie shrugged. “None that I’m aware of. They’re best friends. Drinking buddies. Ron’s gonna feel like shit tomorrow.”
_____
Thom stumbled in the moonless, foggy dark toward the rear of Birdie’s property. Water dripped from the trees onto his head and shoulders. The fob light attached to his keyring didn’t cut the darkness of late night, but it was enough to illuminate the paper. He should’ve grabbed the Mag-Tac in the garage. He wondered why he always took the hard road. His knee scraped against a viewing bench and he figured he had gone far enough. He sat down and followed the instructions:
1) Walk to back of garden. Check.
2) Turn on phone. Check.
3) Speed dial 2. Check.
4) At prompt, punch in password 2-6-6-3-5-3-2-6-3. Check.
5) Get instructions.
Thom listened to a salty voice: “Aloha, Thom. Noa here. Sorry for the pre-recorded message. During the prelim I discovered you have heavy eyes and ears so I resort to subterfuge.
“This is where we’re at. I’m not sure I want to work with you. We’re going to meet in person so I can get a read. Be on call for the next few days. I’m only going to say this once so pay attention. As our mutual friend, Ron, made you aware my terms are non-negotiable. If you fail to complete the monetary transactions by two p.m. on Tuesday you will never hear from me again. No second chance.
“Call Anne on your personal cell and tell her you’re going to wire twenty-grand from your joint BofA money market account to an escrow company. Make up a good lie for the transaction—something she won’t question because it’s being recorded for posterity and you don’t want any more suspicion aimed at your back. The wire instructions are on the reverse side of the paper in your hand.
“We’re planning for the future. If I decide you’re not a maniac, I’ll remove the money for my fee plus expenses. If I decide you are, it will be returned to you. What you won’t get back are the twenty-two Benjamins you’ll be giving me when we meet. Call it consideration. Tell Anne about this money as well.
“See you in a few. Aloha. P-S, the phone will self-destruct in ten seconds. Kidding. I’ve always wanted to say that. Keep this phone on your person. I’ll use it to reach you.”
Thom felt violated. Again. Leaving the required ‘just the facts’ stats had been hard enough when he made the preliminary call. Now it was for real. He covered his face with his hands. An indescribable bit of anxiety struck him. He knew what Noa would find. Felt it as serious as a heart attack.
Alone, on a wet bench, in the darkness, he began to sob. Hidden from sight and mind and feeling utterly sorry for himself, a muffled groan escaped his lips. What would he do when Noa came back with the proof ? Could he win Anne back or would she slip through his fingers? He wasn’t frightened of solitude or lovelessness. He had five children after all. He loved them completely. And they him despite the flaws the older ones thought they knew of him. There was a difference between being alone and being lonely. And he’d been lonely for a long time.
He laughed at himself—such a pathetic predicament. If he were at the bottom of the well, he had no place left to go but up. There was value here. Strangely, this thought gave him comfort. After a long while of reflection, he wiped his nose across the sleeve of his dad’s sweatshirt and walked toward the light of the Bird House.
twenty-seven
Birdie’s fingers caressed the centuries-old grain of the altar and admired the rare burls that peppered its surface. The new acquirement was quite grandiose—in size, importance, and price—in a house void of purchased indulgence. But Birdie had to have it the moment it went to bid. She loved religious objects and this one spoke to her, sparked her imagination.
People and time moved on and it was forgot, abandoned and left to rot in the suffocating humidity of Louisiana. But this altar was borne of black walnut, an American wood prized for furniture. Straight, strong, and heavy; it resists rot and decay.
It survived, while the church that had once housed its magnificence had not.
Resourced from scavengers and lovingly restored, this solid, unmovable altar was repurposed and became a worktable in Birdie’s office. She often wondered what glory or atrocities had occurred on its surface. Was that oxidized blood in the deeper grains? Or cleaning oil? What stories of worship could this wood tell if given the chance? Perhaps it had been a pagan altar where young virgins or animals were sacrificed. One thing was certain: the inscription on the fascia was not Latin. She could have it translated, but the imaginings were far more interesting.
Birdie raised the shade covering the dry erase board. Made of metallic gray fabric, the screen served two purposes: one, to keep eyes off the work underneath; two, to prevent the massive whiteness from taunting her when she wasn’t working. Either way, it was an aesthetic choice as well. Who’d want a wall-sized white board staring down at you?
She took a black marker and wrote a header across the top center: The process to find the truth is methodical, precise, and provable. Intuition is not evidence. Those words began every new investigation. The compass
that prevented her from straying into second guesses or uncertainties. The provable being her path. At least that’s how they all started, but sometimes, the absolute truth is not knowable—a recent lesson learned.
Laid out on the table were the Lawrence murder book and the Deats homicide file. She flipped open both and wrote five names and occupations on the board:
Dominic
Rachel
Amy
Amber
Jerry
city attorney
homemaker
student
student
unknown
“The hell you doing?” said Thom.
“Were the children homeschooled?” said Birdie.
“No. Give me that.” He took the black marker from her hands.
“What school did they attend?”
“Don’t know.”
“Then how do you know they weren’t homeschooled?”
Under Rachel’s name Thom wrote: pregnant. Under Dominic’s name he wrote: sterile. “Because she slept with someone else and the only time that could occur was while the girls were in school and Dominic at work.”
“Ooooh, an intrigue. But your reasoning is flawed. Affairs can take place anywhere, anytime.”
“Keep your paws off my work. I’m a damn good detective. I don’t need your help.”
“You’re a great detective, Thom. But you’re emotionally preoccupied and I’m a good investigator, too. I can keep an eye out for your blind spots.”
“Not happening.”
Birdie thought about sulking for a nanosecond. She didn’t have time for Thom’s stuff anyway; her secret project was nearly done. “Well, I found the message. Ready?”
“Go.”
Birdie hit the play button on the phone: “Sunday, eleven-thirty-five a.m. … Greetings, Elizabeth, I read your article on the Blue Bandits. Perhaps you should look at all the pretty dead fish.”
