Four days and four nights now, and the crushing pain wasn’t any better. And tonight she would see him. But for her father’s sake, they’d both smile and greet each other, and for the evening she’d swallow her tears and glide across the dance floor, shift food around on a fine china plate, and hide the sorrow that licked through her savagely.
The dress was a perfect fit and fell with grace over her slender hips. With a dusting of bronze shadow across her lids and a light touch of lipstick, she knew she was as ready as she’d ever be for the night ahead.
The dinner was held in the elegant clubhouse of the Windemere Yacht Club, and Brittany gazed in awe at the lines of chauffeured limos stretching along the gas-lit drive. She’d driven over with Dr. Frank, and the two laughed at the scene.
“Must have hired them in from Bridgeport,” Dr. Frank joked as he took Brittany’s arm, guiding her up the slate walkway to the wide wooden doors.
“You know, Doc, you look mighty handsome in your tuxedo. I fear I’ll have to fight for your affections tonight.” She squeezed his arm warmly.
“Hah! Not when I have the most beautiful girl in the world on my arm tonight.” He looked down at her. “And don’t get me wrong, Brittany. I appreciate you more than anyone on God’s green earth, but the truth is you shouldn’t be hanging on an old codger’s arm tonight. You should be—”
“There’s nothing old about you, Dr. Frank,” she said softly. “And whatever you were going to say next, please don’t.”
He stared at her intently, but merely said, “Okay, sweetie. You know what I think though?”
“Dr. Frank, I do know what you think. And I appreciate it, and love you for it. But—Oh, look, there’s Mother.” She nodded to a group of elegantly dressed couples being greeted just inside the door by the official hostess for the evening. “I need to say hello.”
Frank nodded, took her wool cape, and lumbered off to the checkroom.
Katherine Winters was glorious in a mahogany silk gown that enclosed her tiny frame and set off her sparkling clear eyes like jewels. Brittany hugged her tightly. “You look beautiful, Mother.”
“Your father is the one, Brittany dear. Look at him over there. This is quite the most wonderful thing. And darling, Sam brought the game by for me to see ahead—”
Brittany’s heart careened at the mention of his name, but her mother seemed not to notice.
“—and it is without a doubt the most clever, beautiful gift imaginable. Your father will be so touched.” She gazed lovingly at her husband. “Now, when Sam arrives, make sure he feels at home, dear. He didn’t look well today when I saw him, but he promised me he would be here.”
Brittany could only nod as her mother swept away to greet new guests. She escaped to her father’s side and kissed him on his freshly shaved cheek, finding a childish solace in the familiar scent of his aftershave. “What a dashing guest of honor you make, my handsome father.”
Gordon Winters hugged her warmly, then held her away from him and studied her with loving eyes. His gray brows drew together in a frown.
“Brittany, what’s wrong?” She should have known this would happen, she thought. Her father never missed anything, not a frown, or a glimmer in her eye, or a secret held in her soul.
“Nothing, Dad. I’ve been working hard, that’s all.” She forced a smile to her face. “Come, let me walk with you around the room and feel special.” And she led him off into the distraction of the celebration.
Dinner was served later. Toasts were made and crystal glasses clinked together while Brittany sat still, her eyes focused on her parents and her emotions tucked away tightly. She hadn’t seen Sam all evening. He must not have come, because even if she didn’t see him, she was sure she would feel his presence in the room. Then the chairman of the board rose to the speaker’s platform and began his presentation of the grand gift.
Brittany’s heart suddenly leaped to her throat. She could feel him. He was there in the room somewhere. Slowly she looked up, and without searching the room her gaze fell directly on the man she loved.
He was standing over to the side, beyond the linen-draped dining tables, his tall, lean figure dressed in a handsome tuxedo, his eyes holding hers. Sam had purposely come late. He couldn’t bear the thought of watching Brittany all evening and not being able to sweep her up in his arms. Couldn’t bear the thought of the pain his love had caused her. She looked beautiful, he thought, and the vulnerability in her eyes only heightened her loveliness. The simple black dress she wore was dramatic and highlighted every beautiful feature, the creamy paleness of her skin. Her gleaming hair was swept off her face in lovely waves that caught the light. Oh, how he ached to touch her, to feel the warmth of her skin. To love her—
He couldn’t look away if he had wanted to.
It was only when the chairman spoke his name that the spell was broken and all eyes in the room turned to Sam. He was being given credit now for the masterful game that was slowly being unveiled at the podium.
Brittany looked over at her father, who was holding up the leather-bound game of his life. Gary’s beautiful design had made a masterpiece out of the game board, a sweeping watercolor of Gordon Winters’s life to be admired on its own merit. And set in front of Gordon were the gilt-edged game cards that captured the joys and sorrows and private jokes of his life, and the tiny gold playing pieces molded into horses and fishing poles and trophies. The look on her father’s face was first one of disbelief, then of thanks, and then, as he began thumbing through the cards, of the tearful joy of memories laid out carefully in front of him. He hugged Katherine tightly to his side, blew a kiss to each of his children sitting proudly along the table, and made a gracious and brief thank-you speech.
“And now, friends,” he announced with a sweeping gesture, “please join me in the ballroom to enjoy the truckloads of champagne my lovely wife has ordered, and we’ll all have a chance to look more closely at this masterpiece I’ve been given.” His gaze swept over the crowd to where Sam stood. “And I for one can’t wait to meet personally the mastermind who has proven once and for all you can make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear!” The crowd roared festively and within minutes chairs had been shoved back and groups of laughing, happy people moved into the chandeliered ballroom.
Brittany hung back, chatting distractedly to relatives and workers from the plant who had all come to enjoy their beloved boss’s special night. “We sure are going to miss him, Miss Winters,” she heard again and again. “He’s the best there is to work for. The very best.”
She could only nod, smiling, trying to keep her thoughts on what they were saying. Then all the excuses to dally walked on into the ballroom and she was left with no choice but to follow.
She spotted Sam immediately. He was standing on the far side of the room with her father. She studied them carefully, the two most important men in her life, side by side. They made a striking portrait, Sam’s tawny head next to her father’s gently graying one. As she watched, she could see Sam was doing most of the talking, his head bent, her father’s still and intent.
“Brittany, may I?” It was Dr. Frank, and she gladly slid into his outstretched arms and glided off on the small dance floor at one end of the room.
“Your father and Sam seem to hit it off mighty nicely,” Dr. Frank said carefully.
She nodded.
“But that’s no surprise, is it?”
“No,” she said slowly. “I guess it’s not.”
“Is Sam pleased with the way the game turned out?”
“I don’t know. We haven’t had a chance to speak yet.”
The dance ended and Dr. Frank and Brittany smiled at each other while they clapped politely. “Next dance marathon, Brittany, you’re mine. I’m claiming you right now.” He accepted two glasses of champagne from a passing waiter and handed one to her.
She laughed and took a sip. “You’re on, Doc, but I’m not sure I can keep up with you!”
Several others joined them and it was a
few minutes before Brittany realized that Sam and her father were talking with a group of people just a short distance behind her. It was her father’s voice she heard first.
“A book offer, he tells me, although I can’t understand why he wouldn’t stay with Creative Games. The company’s bound to be a winner.”
The group agreed with much enthusiasm, and Brittany listened for the voice she had been waiting to hear.
When it came it was low and friendly. “I know my crew will do a great job without me,” Sam said. “Time to move on to something new.”
“He’s just like you, Gordon,” an older man said. “Remember when you were that age? Always shifting that mind of yours from one project to another.” He laughed along with the others, then spoke again to Sam. “Tell us about this book, Sam.”
“Well, it’s for an American publisher, but will involve some time in France …”
Brittany felt the blood drain from her face. France. Sam was doing another book in France … Her thoughts came in spurts now, fragmented and fuzzy, until she had to excuse herself and made her way quickly to the women’s lounge. She sank down onto a plush bench and pressed her hands hard against her temples, trying to calm the erratic beating in her head.
It shouldn’t upset her like this, she told herself. He had every right to go anywhere he pleased. And hadn’t he told her he’d probably turn over the game company to the others? None of this should upset her like this. It shouldn’t … She felt the tears well up and squeezed her eyes tightly closed to stop the flow.
“Here you are, darling!” Katherine Winters let the door swing closed behind her. “The photographer wants to do a family shot and you’re the only one missing.”
She started to leave, then slowly turned back to Brittany. “Darling? Are you all right?”
Brittany wet her lips and smiled up at her mother. “I’m fine. I think the emotion of the evening is beginning to get to me.”
Her mother bent and kissed her forehead gently. “Yes, perhaps it is.” But when Katherine lifted her head there were tiny worry lines around her eyes. She gently clasped Brittany’s hand and gazed into her daughter’s eyes. “You know, Brittany, I watched your father tonight with such pride and love. But it wasn’t always so. Oh, I always loved him, but someone like your father, someone with so many talents and a spirit that won’t settle for any kind of cage … well, it takes awhile getting used to.” She rubbed the back of Brittany’s hand absently, her mind seeming to move into the recesses of her memory. “Yes, but it was surely worth it.… Her voice drifted off, and when it returned it was full of fresh energy that belied her frail body. “Now come, darling! Let’s wipe away that emotion and smile for the cameraman.”
Brittany allowed her mother to dab at her face with a wet cloth, then freshened her lipstick and smiled at the image of mother and daughter in the large mirror. Her mother looked different somehow … as lovely as always, but something had changed. Or was Brittany looking at her differently, seeing things she’d never noticed before? She slipped her arm around her mother’s waist and their eyes met and held in the mirror. “I’m ready now, Mother. Shall we go?”
Somehow Brittany knew even before searching the room that Sam had left. It wasn’t his night, and he wouldn’t have wanted to take anything away from her father. And although her heart grieved that he hadn’t stayed to talk to her, that was all right too. After all, what more was there to say?
Sleep was a restless, relentless tossing, and when Brittany awoke early the next morning, she felt numb and fragmented. Pieces of dreams flitted across her mind and interrupted her thought, and the day seemed icy gray. Her mother’s words had strayed into what little sleep there’d been, but Brittany didn’t feel ready to deal with what she had said, or even to decide if there was something there to deal with. She was so tired. And so alone.
She swallowed too quickly a gulp of steaming coffee and coughed when the heat stung her throat. “Saturday morning, Dunkin. And a million things to do. But what are they?” Her mind wandered off as she grabbed a heavy sweater from the chair and slipped it over her head.
“We’ll make a list, Dunkin, like Sam does.” Pain bubbled like a lump in her throat and she forced it down. “First, we’ll drop those presents of Dad’s off at the house. And then I need to talk to Sheila out at the Elms, and then …” She searched her mind for the forgotten list, needing desperately to fill every second of the day and block out any chances to think. “Come on, boy, get with it.”
The ride to her parents’ home was cold, and the old van groaned begrudgingly at each intersection. She rubbed her hands together and blew softly into them. “Winter, Dunkin. It’s on its way, mark my words.” Dunkin flapped his tail against the seat, then pressed his nose to the window as they pulled into the circle drive of the Winters’ estate.
It wasn’t until Dunkin’s heavy breathing turned into a bark that Brittany noticed another car just pulling away on the other side of the drive. The driver was already past the clump of cedar trees in the center of the drive and couldn’t see her unless he had stopped and looked around. He didn’t, but it was Sam. Brittany knew it even if it hadn’t been for the familiar car or the sandy sweep of hair she glimpsed through the window, or Dunkin’s excited bark.
She turned the engine off, then sat still in the van for a minute and tried to collect herself. What was he doing here? And what if she had come a minute sooner? Could she have endured seeing him here? Would she have thrown her arms around him just to feel for an instant the joy of his touch?
She blinked back the tears that leaped into action on a second’s notice and forced a cold breath of air into her lungs before swinging her legs out of the van. Dunkin followed in one jump.
“Brittany dear,” Katherine called. She was standing on the front step, wrapping her sweater tightly around her. “I thought I heard that vehicle of yours pull up. What a lovely surprise!”
“It’s too cold out here, Mother,” Brittany said as she walked up the steps,” and I can’t stay. I just want to unload these gifts from the party last night.”
“Oh, yes, dear, how thoughtful.” Katherine spun around on her tiny feet and called inside to the butler to unload the van, then turned back and planted a kiss on Brittany’s cheek. “It was such a lovely night, wasn’t it? Your father was so very pleased.”
“Mother, why was Sam here this morning?”
“Sam? Oh, yes, Sam. He came for breakfast.”
“Breakfast?” Brittany shoved her hands deep into her pockets and tried to determine what her mother was talking about.
“Yes, dear. He had asked to see your father this morning, so we invited him to breakfast. We do like him so. Then they locked themselves up in the library, just the two of them, until Sam left. It was only minutes after your father left, as a matter of fact. Everyone is so busy this morning.”
“Dad left?”
“Yes, Brittany. The—the cottage is sold. And there was some paperwork to take care of.”
Brittany shivered and wrapped her arms tightly around her waist. “The cottage … I didn’t know. About the cottage, I mean. But Ida said there were some interested people.”
“Yes, it seems there were.” Katherine’s smile didn’t seem to fit the occasion, Brittany thought, but then her mother hadn’t been as attached to the cottage as she had. And yet …
She shook her head and stared down at the cement step, her thoughts turning around to Sam again. No, she wouldn’t ask any more questions about Sam. She couldn’t. Not without breaking her heart wide open right here on the front steps.
“I guess I’d better leave, Mother. I have several stops to make.” She kissed her mother on the forehead and sent her back inside before she caught cold. Then she stood there for a long moment, staring out past the driveway as a great shiver passed through her.
Twelve
The Elms Home was quiet when Brittany walked through the front door. This would be her salvation, her peace, she thought. This would help her thr
ough.
But deep down inside she knew she’d never be through it completely, because she’d never stop loving Sam as long as she lived.
“Sheila.” She spotted the redhead rounding the corner and tried to push a smile into place. “I’ve brought those field trip plans for you to look over. And the new Petpals schedule.”
“Hey, thanks, Brittany. These folks have had such a shot of adrenaline with this theater and all, I think they’re ready to tackle just about anything. Old Mr. Fitzgerald’s talking about starting a mountain climbing club!”
Brittany smiled. “Can’t keep good folks down.”
“That’s for sure. Those good folks would love to say hello. They missed you this week.”
“We had the retirement gala to plan.…”
Sheila nodded quickly. “Oh, I understand. But they’d love to say hello if you and Dunkin have the time. There’s a group down at the theater.”
Brittany glanced down the hall. “It’s become a hangout?”
Sheila laughed. “Of sorts. Go on down there. You look like you could use a pick-me-up, and there’s no one that can do it to you faster than your friends here.”
Brittany nodded and followed Dunkin down the hall.
She turned the corner just in time to hear Bertha Hussey’s voice ring out. “Well, I’d make some changes, that I know for sure.”
Brittany poked her head inside the room. “Am I interrupting something?”
“Hah!” Mr. Fitzgerald said. “Not you, Brittany. Come on in here and join our little conversation.”
She walked to the front of the room, where a small group of residents had collected.
“What’s up?” she asked. “Sounds like a serious conversation.” She mustered a smile and slipped into one of the chairs.
“Serious and not so serious,” Frances said. “We were talking about what we would do over if we had our lives stretched out before us again.”
Brittany ran her fingers through her hair and thought of Sam. She’d put him right there, right in the biggest part of her life. And she’d leave him there.
A Dream to Cling To Page 16
