by Maria Geraci
Grace looked at the time. Officially, the shop closed fifteen minutes ago, but there were still customers! She wished Pop could be here to see this. On the other hand, no, she was definitely happy Pop wasn’t here to see this. “As much as I’d love to keep selling, there’s too much chaos in the store. Can you get Marty to man the door? He can divert away the tourists.”
“What should he tell people?”
“He can say that it only looks like we’re open because we’re having . . . an employee meeting.” Although this was the strangest group of “employees” Grace could have imagined. Women ranging in age from twenty to sixty were crammed standing room only in the Hemingway corner. They overflowed into the aisles and along the sides of the walls. Most of them were dressed for clubbing, which was probably in the plans for later tonight. Hopefully they would cooperate when they learned the boyfriend club meeting was canceled. Grace spotted Melanie a few aisles over. Great. Just the person she wanted to see.
Ellen made her way to the front of the room. She had to climb up on a chair to be seen. “May I have your attention, everyone!” It took a few shouts of admonishment from the crowd urging them to stop talking before it was quiet enough for Ellen to speak. “Thank you! I’d like to welcome all of you to the February boyfriend of the month club.”
The women began to cheer.
A slightly-out-of-breath Sarah pushed her way through the crowd. “Where did all these women come from?”
All Grace could do was shake her head.
“Now,” Ellen began, “I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is we now have over two hundred members on our Yahoo! site.”
Two hundred members? Grace was dumbfounded. How had the club grown so large?
“Another piece of good news is that the reviews have been pouring in. Besides the men we’ve critiqued live during our meetings, we’ve had almost fifty more profiles added to the files. Good work, ladies!” Ellen cried, pumping her fist in the air like she was revving up the crowd at an Amway meeting.
She waited until the cheering died down to put on her sad face. “As you can see, due to unforeseen circumstances, we certainly aren’t at The Continental tonight.” This was met by some polite laughter. “I’d like to apologize for any inconvenience this might have caused.”
Grace tried to catch Ellen’s attention. When was she going to tell everyone the meeting was canceled?
“It should also be apparent that our club has grown in leaps and bounds and there simply isn’t enough room to conduct a meeting here tonight, so unfortunately—”
“You’re not canceling, are you?” someone shouted. “I hired a babysitter to come to this meeting. Do you know how expensive it is to get a sitter on Valentine’s Day?” A low hiss of disgruntled mumbling could be heard throughout the store.
Ellen looked taken aback. “Of course, we’re not canceling,” she said. “But we’re definitely cutting the meeting short.”
“How short?” someone asked.
“We only have time for one review. A small one,” Ellen said, avoiding Grace’s glare. A dozen hands shot up in the air.
“I’m going to kill Ellen,” Grace said, not bothering to lower her voice.
“You,” Ellen said, pointing to a woman standing in the T-shirt aisle. “You’re new, aren’t you? Why don’t you introduce yourself and tell us about your latest boyfriend.”
“My name is Phoebe Cutter and I’m an attorney at Lockett and Jones.”
“Hel-lo, Phoebe!” the crowd roared.
“Phoebe, why don’t you come stand next to me so everyone can hear you better?” Ellen said.
“Grace, is that Charlie’s Phoebe?” Sarah asked. “The one who came to dinner that Sunday after Mass?”
Grace watched the tall redhead make her way to the front of the crowd. “Yeah, but they never dated. Charlie told me they had a few drinks and he kissed her. End of story. She’s probably going to diss on the boyfriend she tried to cheat on with Charlie.”
Phoebe gave the crowd a shaky smile. “First, I want to thank you for the warm welcome. I’ve had a chance to read some of the reviews you ladies have posted on the Yahoo! site. It’s your strength and honesty in telling it just like it is that has given me the courage to come here tonight. Despite what might be a hostile environment.” Phoebe looked directly at Grace and Grace felt herself go cold. What on earth was she going to say?
“The past few months have been difficult for me,” Phoebe said. “I’ve been sexually harassed by a man I work with. A man who has the power to get me fired on a whim.”
The crowd quieted. Ellen began pounding away on her computer keys.
Sarah grabbed Grace’s hand and squeezed it. Surely Sarah didn’t think Phoebe was talking about Charlie, did she? Grace turned to look at Sarah, but Sarah’s gaze was glued straight ahead.
“It began innocently enough,” Phoebe said. “We were both working late at the office every night, and one evening, we went out for drinks. I have a boyfriend, but he lives in Orlando, so we don’t see each other during the week and, I admit, I was lonely. This man I work with . . . he kissed me. I told him I was involved with someone and I thought that was the end of it. But then the harassment started. He said he would get me fired if I didn’t sleep with him.” Phoebe sniffed and Ellen produced a Kleenex from her purse and handed it to her. Phoebe dabbed at her eyes. “Thank you. This whole thing has just been so . . . awful!”
“Did you sleep with him?” someone in the room shouted.
“No, but every day it gets harder.”
Sarah’s grip grew tight. How many attorneys at Lockett and Jones was Phoebe having drinks with? The similarity to Charlie’s story was uncanny, except for the last part, of course. There was no way Phoebe was talking about Charlie. Grace held her breath.
“Weeding out the creeps from the dating pool is exactly what this club is about,” Ellen said, her face tight with indignation. “Knowledge is power! Okay, Phoebe, lets have this loser’s stats.”
“His name is Charlie O’Bryan and—”
“You lying bitch!” Sarah yelled. Grace watched, her jaw agape, as Sarah pushed her way to the front of the room. “Take it back!”
Ellen’s hands froze over the computer keyboard.
“I will not!” Phoebe said. “It’s the truth!”
“Prove it,” Sarah shot back.
“I don’t have to prove anything!” Phoebe said. Despite the fact that Sarah only came up to Phoebe’s chin, she looked so angry that Phoebe took an uncertain step back.
Grace overcame the shock of Sarah’s unexpected outburst to edge her way through the packed room. She grabbed the laptop from Ellen’s hands and snapped it shut. To Ellen’s credit, she didn’t protest.
“Okay, everyone, listen up! My name is Grace O’Bryan. I’m the manager of this store and I say this meeting is officially over, so everybody out!”
“Of course, she’s trying to shut me up. Charlie O’Bryan is her brother!” Phoebe informed the crowd.
Some of the women began booing. Ellen implored them to settle down, but no one paid her any attention now. Over the rumble of female chattering, Grace heard a familiar deep voice yell, “Penny!”
It was Butch.
He was standing in the doorway, his dark eyes darting through the crowd. Grace could tell the instant Butch found Penny. His face split in a grin and he took off for the center of the store in a determined stride.
Women began coming at Grace from everywhere, some of them chastising her for refusing to let Phoebe speak. Most of them were angry that she’d cut the meeting short. Grace did her best to shake them off and headed toward Penny and Butch, who were now clutched in the tightest public embrace Grace had ever witnessed.
“What was I thinking?” Butch said. “Pen, I can’t live without you. Not one more day!”
“I missed you so much!” Penny said, her voice thick with tears. “I’m going with you. Right now. This instant!”
Butch laughed and picked Penn
y up and swung her around just like they did in the movies, then he laid a great big kiss on her.
Grace cleared her throat. “Butch, I hate to interrupt this really awesome reunion, but I need your help.”
Butch lowered Penny to the ground but kept his arms around her. “Big Butch is here and at your service. What do you need?”
“Can you help me clear this place out?” Grace asked.
Butch quickly surveyed the situation. “Your book club sure has grown.”
“It’s not a book club anymore. It’s more like a . . . women’s empowerment group,” Penny explained.
Butch looked confused by the fancy title but he shrugged and placed his fingers in his mouth to produce a bloodcurdling whistle. Immediately the place quieted. “Listen up, ladies! Florida Charlie’s is closed. You have five minutes to get your tushes out of here before I personally toss ’em out.”
“I’d like to see you try!” a woman in the crowd shouted.
Butch identified the heckler and started after her. The woman took one look at Butch and went tearing out of the store. Not that Grace blamed her. Six foot four and clad entirely in black leather, Butch was imposing, to say the least. Within seconds, women began shoving at one another to reach the front door.
“Are you Grace O’Bryan, the club’s founder?” a woman with short spiky black hair asked.
“That’s me, but really, I don’t have time to explain why we’re canceling the rest of the meeting and—”
“My name is Shania Brown and I’m doing a piece on the club for my Internet column. Maybe you’ve heard of it? What’s Up, Daytona Beach?”
“Your Internet column? Do you mean your blog? No, sorry, never heard of it.”
“Really? Oh . . . well, you will,” she said with a laugh. “Anyway, you’ll be thrilled to know that I’m dedicating my Monday morning column entirely to your club.” She pulled out a notebook. “Can you tell me about this Felix Barberi character? Is he real? Or is he a combination of different men that you’ve dated?”
“How do you know about Felix?”
“I read his file on the Yahoo! site.”
“But that’s only accessible by members!”
“I joined a few weeks ago.”
Grace blinked. She had no idea it was that easy to get into the files.
“Look, Shania, I’m sorry, but I don’t want to talk about the club. I have a feeling this is going to be our last meeting anyway.”
Shania looked stricken. “But it can’t be! Grace, I don’t think you understand what you’ve started here. Once I write my article, boyfriend clubs are going to start springing up all over the country.” Grace tried to walk away, but Shania got up in her face. “Can I at least have a comment on what it felt like to discover that your brother is going to have a rather unflattering file of his own?”
“That’s ridiculous. There will be no such file. The woman is a liar.”
Shania began scribbling in her pad.
“Hey! I didn’t say you could quote me. Although it’s true. Phoebe Cutter is just pissed because my brother wasn’t interested in her. She even followed him to Mass one Sunday and had dinner with our family. Does that sound like a woman who’s being forced into a relationship?”
“How long did Ms. Cutter and your brother date before the harassment began?”
“They didn’t date!”
Shania’s attention shifted from Grace to a movement at the front of the store. Grace turned to see two uniformed Daytona Beach police officers.
“Who’s in charge here?” the taller of the two officers asked.
Grace identified herself as the store’s manager.
The shorter officer took a swift look around the store. “This is a great place you have here.”
“Thanks,” Grace said. Anyone who liked Florida Charlie’s was okay in her book. She glanced at his name tag. Lakowski. It seemed familiar.
“We had a call saying that there’s a disturbance going on.” Tall Officer looked around the shop. “Are all these women customers?”
“Who called in?” Grace asked.
“I did!” The woman whom Butch had run out of the store marched up to the officers. Red faced, she pushed a strand of hair from her eyes. “That man,” she said, pointing to Butch, “assaulted me. I want him arrested!”
“I never laid a finger on you, Bubble Butt,” Butch said in disgust.
“I do not have a big butt!” the woman screeched. She pulled a paper from her purse and flung it at Officer Lakowski. “I came here in good faith to attend a meeting. Then she”—she nodded at Grace—“got all in a huff because her brother was exposed as a sexual predator. She went all psycho on us and demanded we leave. She even called this goon in to toss us out.”
The police officer studied the paper in his hand. Grace peered over his shoulder. It was the flyer that Janine had put out a couple of months ago.
“Ma’am,” Officer Lakowski said to Grace, “can you explain what’s going on here?”
“Well, it’s like this. My friends and I used to have this book club. It was just four of us, and since my assistant manager and I often work until closing, it just made sense to hold the meetings here after work. A few months ago we changed the . . . the focus of the club, and our membership got of control. Tonight’s meeting was supposed to be held at The Continental—that’s the new hotel on the beach—but it all got screwed up and the meeting accidentally ended up here. But there are too many people, as you can see, so I was in the process of politely asking everyone to leave.”
Officer Lakowski nodded, like he’d heard all this a thousand times before. “Then the meeting was held here with your permission?”
“Sort of.”
“It’s either a yes or a no,” Tall Officer said.
“Yes, the meeting was held here with my permission.” What was Grace supposed to say? That she hadn’t given Ellen her consent? Wouldn’t that get Ellen in trouble? Even though a vision of Ellen being dragged away in handcuffs almost brought a smile to her face, Grace didn’t really want to see that happen.
“So then, these women have every right to stay here for the meeting. Is that correct?” Tall Officer concluded.
“No, that’s what I’ve been trying to tell you. There was a meeting. But not anymore. I called it off.”
Tall Officer took the flyer from Lakowski’s hand. “Let me get this straight. You advertised this boyfriend club”—he paused, then shook his head as if to say what the hell—“got all these women here, then called it off when they started a discussion about your brother. When they refused to leave, you called Easy Rider over there to act as a bouncer.”
“Hey!” Penny said, frowning at the officer in Butch’s defense.
“Something like that,” Grace admitted.
“And as the store’s manager, you have the authority to give permission for the building’s use?” Tall Officer asked.
“Yes. Definitely,” Grace said. “But I also have the authority to ask them to leave.”
“Okay, seems to me like this is pretty cut-and-dry.” Tall Officer turned to the crowd. “Ladies, I’m going to have to ask you all to start filing out. Understand?”
No one seemed happy, but to Grace’s relief, the women began exiting through the front door.
Marty came back inside looking frazzled. “Grace, I can’t get the customers to understand that the store is closed.”
Tall Officer looked at Grace. “Would you like to me handle the customers as well?”
Have Florida Charlie’s customers told to leave by the police?
“No, I mean, the store is closed, but—”
“What about him?” Bubble Butt demanded, pointing to Butch. “Aren’t you going to arrest him?”
“Ma’am,” Officer Lakowski said, “it appears that he was acting as an agent for the manager of the building. Unless he actually physically assaulted you, then there’s nothing we can do.”
“He ran after me, but I was faster. God only knows what might h
ave happened if he’d caught me!”
Butch snorted. “Yeah, you wish I’d caught you.”
The woman lunged for Butch, who flung his arms up in the air to fend off the attack and, in doing so, accidentally hit Officer Lakowski in the jaw with his elbow. Lakowski went down, bringing an entire rack of T-shirts with him.
“That’s it, buddy!” Tall Officer grabbed Butch and hand-cuffed him. “You’re coming with us to headquarters for striking a police officer.”
“But it was an accident!” Penny said. “He was only trying to defend himself.”
One of the women who’d joined the group a couple of months ago ran to Officer Lakowski’s side. “Oh my God, Matt. Are you hurt?” With her help, he sat up and rubbed his sore jaw.
“Karina! What are you doing here?” He looked torn between being happy to see her and leery.
“I’m a member of the club.”
“It’s Colonel Brandon!” someone shouted.
That’s why Lakowski’s name had seemed familiar. He was Karina’s ex-boyfriend. The perfectly sweet, yet dull, Colonel Brandon.
Shania’s head popped up above the crowd, like a scary jack-in-the-box. “Officer, how does it feel to know that you’re one of the men the club has reviewed? Do you agree with the Colonel Brandon characterization?”
“Who? Ma’am, I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Officer Lakowski said.
Grace didn’t wait to hear how Karina was going to explain that one. She ran after Penny, who was running after Tall Officer and Butch. They watched helplessly as Butch was placed in the backseat of the squad car. A few minutes later, Officer Lakowski joined them and they drove off.
A small crowd of people who appeared to be customers were still lingering by the front doors. Grace told them that the store was officially closed and hoped they would come back on Monday.
“You aren’t open tomorrow?” one woman asked. “I thought everything was open the day of the race!”
Grace almost opened the doors to let them in, but it was all too chaotic still. Plus, she had to help Penny. Grace watched, frustrated, as the customers went off, grumbling to themselves all the way to their cars.
