“Please.” Keisha gripped his shirt and rested her head in the crook of his neck. “Garrith, I need…I need you.”
His breath hitched at her admission but he still wouldn’t talk.
A cry of frustration left her lips as she sobbed against his chest. Now she knew how Tori felt when Sebastian wouldn’t talk to her. God, I’m so stupid.
“I know it’s hard for you but—”
“No.” Garrith gripped her neck and pulled her head back, his gaze boring into hers. “You have no fucking idea, so don’t even say that you know what I’m going through.”
She pushed at him but his hold on her neck only tightened. “How do you think I feel? Knowing I can remember pretty much everyone and everything else in my life except for you? My love.”
Something flashed in his eyes, but it was so quick Keisha couldn’t tell if she was seeing things or not.
“I need you to be patient with me. Help me remember,” she pleaded.
“I can’t.”
Keisha pushed herself off of him and rose to her feet.
Garrith grabbed her wrist, spinning her to him.
“Let me go.”
His eyes hardened, pulling her against him. His hand ran up under dress, cupping her ass.
Keisha held onto his shirt, wanting to crawl up him. Her body hummed. Burned with desire for him but as much as she wanted to feel his skin against hers, she needed answers.
“No.” She shoved out of his grip and walked further into the living room.
“Keisha.”
She spun on him. “I’m not letting you use sex to get out of talking to me. As much as I want you and you’re right, I’ll always want you, I need you to talk to me.”
Garrith’s heated gaze roamed over her body, making her heart skip. A smug smile formed on his face.
Keisha swallowed. “If you can’t talk to me, Garrith, then…we’re done.”
***
Garrith’s stomach dropped at her words. She was lying. She had to be. “You can’t honestly mean that.”
Keisha threw her hands up in the air. “What the hell do you expect from me? How would you feel if the situation was reversed and you couldn’t remember me?”
God, she was right but he still couldn’t get the courage to talk to her about their past and the shit he did to her. He’d rather her not remember him than have her hate him. He couldn’t deal if that happened again. He wished he couldn’t remember it either. It would be better than dealing with the guilt over the years.
“I can’t talk about it. If you won’t understand that, then fine. Leave.” Garrith frowned at the words coming out of his mouth. He didn’t mean them but they just spilled from his lips like he had no control.
Her eyes widened. “You…you say you loved me so much and all that shit but honestly, Garrith? I don’t fucking believe you.” She shook her head. “This was a bad idea. I should have known you wouldn’t talk to me.”
His heart thumped hard in his chest at the guilt that settled deep in the pit of his belly. He wanted to talk to her. Tell her everything but it was too soon. He needed her to trust him first before he could open up and unleash all of his dirty secrets.
She walked to the front door. “Take me home.”
He wanted to yell and scream that she was home. He didn’t want her to leave. What the hell was wrong with him?
“Garrith.”
“No.” He turned around and headed up the stairs.
“Garrith, take me home. Please.”
He ignored her and continued walking up the steps.
“Fine, I’ll take a cab.”
Before he knew what he was doing, he spun and ran down the stairs. Just as Keisha opened the door, he was on her, slamming it shut.
“What the hell, Garrith?” she cried.
He grabbed her arm and pulled her away from the door.
“Let go of me, asshole.” She scratched and scraped at his fingers that were wrapped around her wrist but he wouldn’t let her go. He didn’t want her to leave. Ever.
“Garrith.”
He spun her and slammed her up against the wall, digging his fingers into her shoulders. “What?”
Her eyes dilated and then went cold. “I hate you.”
Garrith smirked. “No, you don’t.”
“Yes. I do.”
“You’re a fucking liar.”
She tilted her chin and ground her teeth together. “Yeah, well, you’re a fucking pussy for not opening up to me.”
Fury tore through Garrith at her words. “Stop. Pressuring. Me.”
Keisha pushed him. “What do you expect from me?”
“What the hell do you expect from me?”
She pushed him harder making him take a step back. “I expect you to love me. To fight for me. To fight for us. I know there’s something there. I can feel it. Deep within me. Even when I realized I didn’t remember you. I knew that we had something, Garrith. A dark part of me was drawn to you and I couldn’t…I can’t figure out why.”
Garrith gripped her shoulders and pushed her back up against the wall. “That’s because we’ve been together off and on for years. That’s fucking why, Keisha.”
“Could have fooled me. You act like you’re terrified of me.”
Garrith didn’t respond. He was terrified. “I’m terrified that you’ll never feel for me what I feel for you.”
Her eyes softened. “If you keep pushing me away, Garrith…I…do you want me to hate you?”
“You’ve hated me before.”
“But you won’t tell me why I hated you.” Keisha ran a hand down his cheek, brushing her fingers over his lips.
“I need to make you trust me before I can tell you what I did to you…I can’t…” Garrith swallowed past the hard lump in his throat. God, he wasn’t one to get emotional but since this shit went down, he was becoming a pussy, just like she said.
She huffed and pulled out of his arms, taking a step away from him. “Garrith, I’m trying to be patient. I really am, but do you—”
He grabbed her arm and spun her to him, her hands landing on his chest. He lifted her and lowered them to the floor.
“Garrith, you can’t use sex to get me to stop talking about this.”
He kissed her jaw and then the corner of her lips. “I know.”
“Then why are you?”
He frowned and lifted his head, staring intently into her eyes. Why was he? “You…” he brushed the soft curls out of her eyes and kissed her forehead. “You make me lose control. I can’t help myself when I’m with you.”
Her lips parted, her pink tongue peeking out. “As much as I enjoy the sex, I need to remember, Garrith and…I can’t if you won’t talk to me.”
The vee in her dress showcased the swell of her breasts as they rose and fell rapidly. He leaned down and kissed a freckle on the soft skin and rested his head in the crook of her neck. “I love you. I love you so fucking much. I hurt you and if you remember, I don’t know if you’ll ever forgive me.”
She sighed. “That was years ago, Garrith, and I did forgive you.”
“I don’t think you did.” He kissed the soft spot under her ear making her shiver.
“What?” Keisha curled her fingers through the hair at his nape, sending tingles down his spine.
He cleared his throat and lifted his head. “Every time I looked into those beautiful eyes of yours, I saw the pain of what I did to you. You said that you forgave me but you didn’t.”
Unshed tears filled her eyes. “I…I’m so sorry.”
“Maybe I am a pussy but it’s only because I don’t know how to deal with…I…” Shit.
Keisha wrapped her arms around him, holding him tight. They stayed that way for what felt like forever. Not talking. Just holding each other.
She reached in between them and undid his belt. He wanted to protest. To stop her. She was right. They needed to talk instead of him using sex as a way of getting out of it all of the time but the words wouldn’t form on his lips.
He jumped when she reached into his jeans, wrapping her hand around him. His breathing picked up as he hardened under her touch. He didn’t do anything. He let her be in control.
Keisha lowered the zipper and pulled his cock out. She lifted her hips, guiding him to her core. He sank into her as she gasped. She was tight, her pussy squeezing him hard as he made love to her slowly. It wasn’t fucking. It was love. He was such an asshole.
No sounds came from their lips as they moved as one on the floor.
She dug her heels into his ass, pulling him tighter against her as his hips sped up. Running her hands down his back, she tugged on his shirt. She dug her nails into his skin as she reached climax. Her hot pussy squuezed him in a vise-like grip but she didn’t cry out.
His balls tightened, his back going stiff as he reached his own release. He nibbled her neck, his orgasm filling her completely.
Garrith slowed his hips and lifted his head.
Tears covered Keisha’s cheeks, making his heart break. He kissed each one away, the saltiness coating his lips. “I love you. More than anything.”
“I know,” she whispered.
Garrith watched as Keisha pulled away from him before his very eyes. Even though he was still inside her and connected to her on a physical level, mentally she shut him out.
“This is goodbye, isn’t it?”
A sob escaped Keisha’s lips as she pushed him off of her. “I don’t want it to be but I think we need some time apart.”
Garrith had only been back in her life for a short time and already she was done. And whose fault is that, asshole?
“Keisha, please. Give me another chance.” Was that him begging? He never begged anyone for anything.
Keisha shook her head and rose to her feet. “I’ve tried. I need some time.”
He did up his pants, his stomach clenching at her using his words against him. “I got you pregnant.”
Keisha spun on him, her eyes wide.
Garrith had no idea why he just confessed that but he continued. “That’s why you hated me and why we broke up the first time.”
“I was…” she placed her hand on her lower belly. “I was pregnant?”
Garrith nodded. “We were kids. I didn’t want…you…we were so young.”
“Did I have an abortion?”
“No, but you were going to because…because of me.”
Keisha’s eyes went cold at his words, confirming his worst fear. She hated him. Again.
But if he explained, maybe she would understand. “You had a miscarriage instead but if you wouldn’t have—”
“I would have gotten rid of it. Because of you.” She took a step towards him. “Because we were too young. Old enough to have sex but too young to have children.”
He nodded.
“Too young to take care of our responsibilities and deal with our mistakes.”
“Keisha.” Garrith took a step back as she closed in on him. She was pissed.
“So you fucked me, got me pregnant, told me to get rid of it and then I miscarry instead. You made me lose it.”
Holy shit. “Keisha, I never…I was a kid. We were both kids.”
“But you fucked me!” she screamed. “I obviously wasn’t too young to sleep with you. God, Garrith…how could you?”
Garrith felt like he was seventeen again. Dealing with the same argument all over again. He couldn’t do it. Not a second time. He went through it once with her. He didn’t want to do it again.
He turned and went to head up the stairs when she stepped in front of him.
“No, you do not get to walk away from this. Not this time.”
Garrith sidestepped around her but she followed him, not letting him leave. “Keisha, stop.”
“No!” She pushed him. “Tell me everything. I want to know what happened between us. Don’t walk away.”
Garrith placed his hands on her shoulders and pushed her gently to the side.
“Garrith, you walk away and we’re done for good.”
His body tensed at her words. It didn’t matter. He saw the blame in her eyes and the hatred she felt for him. He had been back for not even forty-eight hours and already she hated him. Again.
“What else did you do to me? Tell me that.”
Garrith turned to her, placing a hand on the railing. “I proposed to you but you shot me down. Said we were too young.”
Keisha scoffed. “Please, I—”
Garrith walked up to her and grabbed her chin, tilting her head to meet his stare. “I overheard you talking to your girlfriends about why you really said no.”
She tried shoving out of his grip but he only tightened his hold. “Yeah, and why’s that?”
“You told them you didn’t want to marry someone who kills babies.”
Chapter 12
Keisha gasped at his words, her mouth opening and closing. She didn’t know what to say. It wasn’t like she could deny any of it. “I don’t believe you.”
Garrith’s blue eyes turned cold. “Why would you? It’s not like you can remember anyways.”
“Fuck you!” Keisha snapped and pushed him. Her head was still reeling over the fact that he had gotten her pregnant when they were just teenagers, but now he was just being an asshole.
“Oh, I did that already, baby, and you liked it, too.” Garrith ran a hand down her back to her ass, squeezing it as he pushed her up against the wall.
Keisha eye’s widened as a gasp escaped her lips. “Why are you acting this—”
A white-hot pain exploded through her skull, making her legs give out beneath her. She squeezed her eyes shut, breathing through the agony. Oh God. Please. No.
“I'm pregnant."
Garrith looked at her, his eyes wide. "What? How?"
Keisha chewed her inner cheek. "Well..."
He shook his head. "No. We...we can't have a baby."
She placed her hand gently on his arm but he spun on her, making her jump.
His eyes were cold, flat as he recoiled from her touch. "We're kids. We can't raise a baby."
Keisha frowned, anger curling in her belly. "You should have thought of that before you fucked me."
Garrith's eyes darkened. "We can fix this." He nodded. “Yes, we can definitely get rid of this.”
“Love? Are you okay?” Garrith wrapped his arms around her, cradling her against him.
Keisha looked up at him and pushed out of his grasp. He loved her. He said he loved her but then years before, he looked at her like she disgusted him and that it was her fault she got pregnant. "You...I remember."
He lowered his gaze. "Remember what?"
She rose to her feet but her knees wobbled. She couldn't believe...her love...tears burned her eyes as she walked to the door. "I remember telling you that I was pregnant. I remember the look on your face when I told you. God, Garrith."
"Love,” he said, his voice thick as he came up behind her.
She spun on him. "No. You do not get to fucking call me that. Ever. Not anymore. We're done. I..." A sob escaped her lips.
He ran a hand through his hair and took a step towards her tentatively. "Keisha, please,” he whispered. “I'm so fucking sorry."
"No. I don't care if you're sorry or how old we were. You hated me for getting pregnant. You blamed me, Garrith. You…” She shook her head. “God, I’m so stupid."
Garrith looked away and ran a hand through his short hair before letting out a deep sigh.
"You don't deny it, do you?" she asked, searching his face.
His gaze met hers. "I...I don't know."
Keisha laughed. A deep maniacal laugh. She was losing it and fast. Her chest constricted, her heart beating hard against her ribs, the blood pounding in her ears.
Garrith grabbed her arm. "Love, breathe."
"No!" She screamed and shoved out of his grip, losing her footing. She fell to her knees, her body wracked with hard sobs.
Garrith wrapped his arms around her, pulling her to his lap. "Please...
"
"No. Don't." Keisha pushed him. "Don't touch me."
His grip on her tightened. "No. I love you. Don't..." Garrith's voice cracked. "Please don't leave me. I'm so fucking sorry. I..."
Keisha shoved against him, punching him in the chest. "No. Stop. I hate you. I fucking hate you." Her cries of anguish took over her soul as her punches slowed. Her arms shook, her muscles jumping from the overuse.
Garrith continued to hold her, pressing her against him as she cried.
"I love you. I'm so fucking sorry for everything but please don't leave me. I’m begging you."
Keisha pushed him and fell out of his lap. "You should have thought of that before you looked at me with disgust. I remember that, Garrith. Do you know how that made me feel?"
His eyes went cold. "Do you remember it?”
Her jaw clenched as she stared at him. “It’s not my fucking fault I don’t remember. I didn’t ask to be shot. I didn’t.” She hiccupped. “I…”
Garrith threw his arms around her and squeezed her. “I know. I’m sorry.”
“No.” She shoved out of his grasp and rose to her feet. “Words mean shit when you don’t actually mean them, Garrith.”
“I remember you telling your friend's that you didn't want to marry a baby killer."
Keisha took a deep breath and rose to her feet. "I don’t remember that.” Her chest rose and fell, her heart pounding in her ears as she made her way to the door. It wasn’t her fault. It wasn’t. “I'll call Brett—”
"No. You're not leaving.” Garrith stepped in front of her, blocking her path to the door.
She huffed and looked up at him. “Get out of the way.”
He shook his head, his eyes darkening, daring her to challenge him. “We need to sort this shit out. I'll tell you everything; just don't fucking leave me again, love. Please."
"And I need time. I need to process this crap.” She pushed him and headed for the door.
Arms grabbed her around the middle and lifted her. "You're not leaving."
She screamed and fought him as he threw her over his shoulder. "Put me down!"
"No."
She punched his back and kicked and squirmed. "Garrith, put me down. Now."
His hold on her legs tightened. "No."
Remember Me Page 9
