An hour later the guys had left, as he tried relaxing in his media room watching a re-run of Mike and Mike on ESPN.
“God, I missed this house,” he muttered, easing back into the lush leather theatre chair, bringing his arm down to scratch Mr. Beans behind the ears. “And my dog,” he said to the snoring pup beside him.
When he designed the house closely with the architect when the girls were about to turn one, he couldn’t wait to surprise Liv and move his family into their dream home. He specifically designed this room as a way to escape every now and then. Whenever he needed to cool down from losing a game or when Liv’s business had taken over half the house turning it into a wedding factory despite having her own office, or when he wanted the guys to come over for a beer without disturbing the girls, this is where he came. And he missed it. All of it.
His eyes heavy, he shut off the television, wandering towards the stairs, calling for Beans to follow him. Locking the doors and turning off lights, an odd feeling settled inside of him as he made his way through the house. Remnants of leftover birthday cake sat in the kitchen, balloons floating on the ceiling and the girls’ new toys sprawled around the family room. The house looked the same, Liv hadn’t seemed to change a whole lot, but it just felt different. Like he was a stranger or an outsider. And he didn’t like it.
Walking up the steps, Mr. Beans on his heels, he paused to look inside Hannah’s room, smiling at her sweet little hand draped off the side of the bed, her mouth hanging open from pure exhaustion. Leaning his head against the door frame, he studied his firstborn. Man, he missed being under the same roof as his family and the familiar routine of tucking the girls into their beds and watching as they drifted off to sleep. Laughing to himself quietly he watched Hailey move from under the covers snuggling closer towards Hannah. It was nice to know that some things in the house hadn’t changed. He remembered the day that they bought them their “big girl” beds. Liv had been hell bent on making the perfect Tinkerbell room for Hailey and the picture-perfect princess room for Hannah, but no matter how beautiful the beds were or how many pillows and blankets filled the rooms, every night Hailey would sneak into Hannah’s bedroom to sleep with her sister. Maybe it was a twin thing, or a sister thing, but after a while, he and Liv had given up trying to separate them.
A small smile crossing his face, he walked quietly into the bedroom. Leaning over the bed, he took both girls’ birthday crowns off their tiny heads. Moving Hannah’s hand off the side of the bed, he tucked them both tighter under the covers. The small nightlight shining softly over their faces, his heart enlarged a bit. His bold little Hannah that looked so much like Liv, but had his adventurous spirit, sleeping like a twisted pretzel and his sweet Hailey who was his identical on the outside, but was entirely her mama where it really counted, currently hogging all the covers.
Giving both of them a small kiss on their foreheads he walked across the room, careful not to step on any toys that made loud noises or music, closing the door softly. Walking soundlessly into his bedroom, he stopped to empty his pockets on his tall dresser. Everything was exactly how he remembered it before he left. A few colognes lined the top of the dresser, his favorite black and white picture of Liv when she was eight months pregnant with the girls was still standing and her garter from their wedding still hanging off the side of the frame. Next to the photo a reporter shot of him holding up the Lombardi trophy two years ago when the Mavs had won the Super Bowl. He wasn’t sure why he was surprised that everything was the same as when he left. He knew Liv wouldn’t destroy his stuff, it wasn’t her style, but he couldn’t shake the extreme resentment he saw in her earlier. Placing his watch quietly down on the flat wood, he walked over to the bathroom. He hadn’t realized just how much he missed being home and the thought of being in his own bed again and using his own shower had him grinning. Turning on the lights, he scanned the room for all his belongings, seeing nothing.
“I unpacked everything,” he said to himself glancing around the large room. Walking out of the bathroom and through the large closet back into the bedroom, using only the television light that was shining, he saw all his bags re-packed sitting beside the door.
“Are you kidding me?” he scoffed. Glancing back at the bed, Liv laid peacefully in a deep sleep, and he wanted to wake her and confront her, but really he didn’t have any right to do that. She looked exhausted after the party and he wouldn’t do that to her, so he decided to watch her instead.
She hadn’t changed much. Her hair was longer than it was when he had left, which drove him absolutely crazy; it looked like it did when they had first met, long down her back and curled. Thankfully, she had put on some weight because she needed to. She was too thin and frail the last time he saw her and now she looked healthy; her legs and ass still perfect, but curvier now.
She was uneasy and drained earlier, trying her best to avoid him completely, as if his coming home didn’t matter, only to fail miserably. He could almost see the war inside her head giving her away. She still never believed him when he told her that he could see every emotion she was feeling unfold through her eyes, reading her like a book. Throwing his black duffel bag over his shoulder, he picked up another small tote bag taking another quick glance at the bed. He always checked in with Chelsea to make sure she was taking care of herself and to keep him updated on her progress. Aside from him leaving, he loved her and only wanted to make sure she was healthy and happy. He hoped she missed him as desperately as he had missed her and she was just working hard at hiding her feelings, but he doubted it. Again, he had no right to ask that of her.
Patting his leg for Mr. Beans to follow him into the guest bedroom, which he realized inevitably would be his room, he watched with the help of the small light Beans snuggling deeper inside the covers in bed with Liv, staring at him with no intentions of leaving his warm spot.
“Traitor,” he whispered loudly at the overweight pooch laying in his bed.
In his spot.
With his wife.
6
Wrapping her fingers around her favorite coffee mug, Alivia inhaled the light steam radiating from the cup, resting against the sliding glass door. Hannah and Hailey’s happy screams filtered through the thick glass as she watched Jax help the girls swim across the shallow end of the pool, Mr. Beans waddling around the perimeter as fast as his small legs could carry him, basking in all the excitement. At only nine o’ clock in the morning she was surprised by their current activity of choice, but already the thick air was proving that it was going to be an unseasonably hot day for April. Jumping up and down in front of Jax, Hannah lifted her little arms for him to toss her across the pool again while Hailey showed off her new aquatic kicks as best as she could through her bulky swimming vest.
He’s really home.
Grinning at the girls’ laugher, she rested her head against the door frame. They needed this. Laughter with their daddy. She had done her best the last year to keep things as routine as possible, but even they knew at such a young age that something was different. Managing to dodge agonizing questions about where Jax had been and why they had to visit him at his apartment three times a week, twice if he was on the road for a game, had been rough. Lying to them and telling them that he needed to stay at the apartment to be closer to work so that he could “win big games” and “throw the ball real fast,” as an explanation of their daddy’s job that they favored telling anyone who would listen, was even more painful. She had assured them that they would see him real soon before diverting their attention onto a different task, ending the conversation completely. Truth was, she didn’t have the answers to any of their questions, or even the answers to her own.
She had no idea why he was really home and often found herself wondering if there was some secret or hidden morsel of reason for his sudden reappearance, his urgent need to be with his family again. Sitting at the Starbucks on West Avenue a month ago chatting away about cake flavors and hotel accommodations with a young couple for their June
wedding, she just about spat her chai latte all over the poor bride after reading his vague text message informing her that he was, in fact, moving back home.
Fixing her eyes on him laughing at something one of the girls had said, he splashed the crystal blue water around them in big smooth waves, his face lighting up. She had to hand it to him, he hadn’t let himself go during the off-season, not that he ever did though. His massive shoulders were more defined than she remembered, his arms thicker, if it were possible. Her eyes drifting across the outlines of his dense chest that rested above his six pack, her mouth turned dry. Sipping her coffee slowly, her eyes fell south to the long V disappearing into his swimsuit. She should be embarrassed of herself for standing in the doorway practically drooling over him, but she wasn’t. He may have damaged and broke her, but it was still too darn hard not to admire and appreciate the beautiful artwork that was Jax Monaghan.
Laughing while Hannah screeched from being tossed into the air, every muscle tightened over his large body, the sexy vein that had taunted her since the first day she met him popping out of his forearm. The sound of his laugh rumbled deep inside her, causing a small swell in her heart. Gosh, she missed his laugh.
Wait! What? No!
“Mama!” Hailey yelled from the pool. “Jump in!”
Damn it!
Placing the mug on the table, her cheeks flushed. Grabbing Beans’ water bowl from the ceramic floor, she opened the door slowly. Walking down the stone steps, she clenched her robe around her chest tighter, but she didn’t need to look up at the towering figure in the middle of the sparkling water looking like an art sculpture to know that he was watching her. Closely. Kneeling down to pet a now utterly out of breath Mr. Beans on the top of his head, she placed his water bowl on the cement. Rubbing her thirsty pooch, she peeked at Jax, a large grin spread across his face; tossing a small ball between his hands not taking his eyes off of her as any suspicions she had about being caught checking him out a few seconds before were confirmed.
“Mama look how high Daddy can throw me!” Hannah yelled holding her arms up for Jax to toss her in the air once more. Shielding her eyes against the harsh bright sun, she watched him effortlessly toss their oldest daughter into the air laughing, forcing herself to focus only on the girls and not Jax.
Half naked.
And wet.
She had to get away from him. Put some distance between them. It was utterly and completely unacceptable to be half drooling over him in the pool when she was just as hurt and confused and angry as she was the day he had left. She needed to focus on something, anything, but his body dredging up memories of smooth skin and nakedness. It had been too long since she had seen him half undressed and if she wasn’t careful she would find herself sitting on a lounge chair staring and sighing at him the entire day.
“Alright pumpkins, come dry off.” Alivia shot up reaching for their pool towels off the teal lounge chairs, unwrapping one for the girls. “You’re going to Uncle Trevor’s to play with Asher.”
Aside from needing to run as far away as possible from Jax and his relentless stare, she needed to get moving to meet up with Chelsea, Whitney, and Charlotte on time. Sunday morning brunch with the girls was the only time she had to herself all month. A small span of time where she didn’t need to sign off on design prints or calm down a panicked bride, make snacks or drive the girls to another playdate. Just an hour to catch up and chat about life with the best girlfriends that any woman had the right to ask for. Although her personal life at the moment wasn’t her favorite topic and hadn’t been for a very long time.
“But we don’t want to go!” Hailey whined paddling away from the pool steps quickly.
“Yeah, can we stay with Daddy?” Hannah asked, sitting on the step, leaving her baby blues to do the pleading for her.
This was what she was afraid of, the girls getting confused and the routine that she had worked so hard to establish with them getting messed up because Jax had finally decided to come home.
“I’m sure Daddy has a lot of things he needs to do today,” she said, avoiding eye contact with him. She knew she shouldn’t speak for him, but she didn’t want him thinking that his return had any impact on the family, either. Petty, she knew, but that’s what he got for walking away from them.
“Actually, I’m free all day so they can stay right here,” he said, pinning her with a look, the bright sun highlighting the wide set of his jaw. Stumbling to formulate a perfectly logical reason as to why they couldn’t stay with him, her brain wasn’t working as fast as she needed it to. It was clear the girls were having fun and based on their mood change when she mentioned leaving, she wasn’t getting out of this one easily.
“Well, Trevor is expecting them.”
“He’ll understand,” he said, tossing the red ball between his hands.
“Yeah Mama, he’ll understand,” Hailey repeated holding onto the side of the pool next to Hannah. Three against one? How had she suddenly become the odd man out overnight?
“Fine,” she said, lifting her chin matching Jax’s gaze hoping he picked up on her irritation because she refused to start a fight in front of her daughters. Leaning down to the edge of the pool, she felt him watching her.
“Give Mama some suga,” she said pursing her lips towards the girls. “I’ll be back shortly.”
Kissing each of the girls’ wet lips, she stood up shooting him a glare. He was testing her and she didn’t appreciate it. Tossing the pool towels back on the lounge chair she turned towards the house.
“What, no suga’ for me?” he asked, mocking her adopted accent. Stopping on the step she looked over her shoulder at the smirk resting on his smug face, as he gripped the ball harder. Turning back around she mumbled low enough so the girls couldn’t hear just exactly what he could kiss.
Her ass!
“Only if you ask real nice, darlin’,” he chuckled, clearly hearing her just fine and finding the entire situation humorous. Shaking her head she continued her walk back up to the deck fighting the urge to turn around and drag the girls out of the pool leaving him there dumbstruck. Who did he think he was? He thought he could just come back home and change the way they did things? She would give him this one time because the girls were having fun, but he was sadly mistaken if he thought that he could call the shots around here anymore. He had lost that privilege. It had walked right out the door along with him.
For as angry as she was, she knew it was just another one of those moments in motherhood when doing what was best for her girls superseded what she wanted; to put their wants and needs in front of her own, even if it killed her.
And it just might.
* * *
Parallel parking into a spot, Alivia turned off the engine, resting back against the headrest. She had called Chelsea after she just about stomped away from Jax in the pool to let her know that he was staying home with the girls. The squeeze in her head that began as a tick had promptly turned into a full blown headache and it began and ended with Jax. Her mind was still reeling at his audacity to initiate a power struggle with her in front of the girls. He joked like things between them were back to normal, but they weren’t. Not even close. Rubbing her eyes, she opened her door seeing Charlotte get out of the car in front of her.
“Hey! Hey!” Charlotte called out, crossing her black purse over her petite body.
“Hi,” Alivia mumbled reaching for her own bag out of the front seat.
“Well aren’t you a ray of sunshine this morning.”
“Sorry,” she apologized. “I’m just tired.”
She hated lying. Especially to her friends, but the less she had to chat about her current situation with Jax, the better for everyone, especially herself. She hadn’t been truly happy or at ease since he had left, but it was easier to pretend that everything was okay, even if she wasn’t.
“Well of course you are. The girls’ party was awesome, as to be expected,” Charlotte said meeting her on the sidewalk. “Thank you again for letting
me bring Ethan, by the way.”
“Awe, not a problem,” Alivia smiled trying to push Jax and that damn self-assured grin to the back of her mind. He wasn’t a cocky man, never had been, just confident and for good reason. He dominated in a sport that was glorified nationwide, idolized by millions, the entire city treated him like a prince; and although he led the life that most only dreamed of, he wasn’t without his demons and that kept him humble. The confidant grin that had once surged every cell in her body to life now had her wanting to scream.
“Ethan seems real nice,” she said referring to Charlotte’s latest boy toy. The guy was without a doubt the latest poor fellow to fall victim to Charlotte’s notorious “love ‘em and leave ‘em” philosophy to dating. He had followed her around the party like a lovesick puppy. She even vaguely remembered him attempting to hand feed Charlotte her cake at one point.
“He’s alright.” She winked, her short platinum hair picking up with the light breeze. “He’s not all that good at talking dirty.” She reached for the café door holding it open for them. “And the other night after sex he asked me if I came.” she lowered her voice. “Like honey, if you have to ask me that, than you already know the answer.”
Laughing for the first time all morning, Alivia shook her head. She shouldn’t be surprised by what came out of Charlotte’s mouth anymore, but somehow she was. Most likely, she would ride out the spring time with this guy, no doubt finding herself a new boy toy to play with for the summer. Finding Whitney and Chelsea on the far side of the patio under the green umbrella offering some shade from the beautiful, but hot, late morning sun they weaved in and out of the other tables. The lush green bushes and tulips were in full bloom bordering the large patio nestled slightly above the same cobblestone sidewalk they had just walked. The traditionally modern café had quickly become one of her favorite spots since moving to Charleston years ago. When she needed a break from the office or fresh air, which was only a four minute walk down the street, she would come here to brainstorm and find inspiration for new designs.
False Start (Mavericks #1) Page 7
