by Cathy Zane
“Let’s go, Mom,” she said as she directed her toward the door.
Sarah joined them just as Maggie returned with their coats and purses. She helped Cynthia into her coat. “Thank you both for coming,” she said. “And thanks for all your help, Carol.”
“My pleasure,” Carol said. “It was a great party. I think Lizzy loved it, thanks to all your work and planning!”
“Yes,” Cynthia said. “It was very lovely.” She held her cheek out and Sarah responded with the expected perfunctory peck.
Carol gave Sarah a hug before taking her mother’s arm again and heading for the car.
“Thank goodness that is over,” Cynthia said when they were out of earshot. “The noise of all those children was getting on my nerves. I should have taken two Valium before I came instead of one.”
“So why did you even bother coming?” Carol said.
“Well I certainly didn’t want to, with Robert not here. He would have made it more bearable—enjoyable, even. But you know damn well I couldn’t have stayed home. How would that have looked?”
Carol rolled her eyes. “Well, if you’re so concerned about appearances, what about Robert not being here? How do you think that looks? I think Sarah was pretty upset about it.”
“Naturally. The girl doesn’t understand our world. She never has. Robert’s work comes first. He’s focused and driven, just like your father was.” She paused to take a breath. “Just yesterday at the club, Molly Sheridan came up to me expressly to acknowledge Robert’s accomplishments. I’m very proud that he has become so successful. He certainly doesn’t need to waste his time at a child’s birthday party.”
“Well, I sure would have liked it if Dad had shown up to some of my birthday parties. He never even knew when it was my birthday.”
“Oh, don’t be ridiculous,” Cynthia said as they reached the car. “I always made sure he signed your card.”
Carol shook her head as she opened her mother’s car door. “Yeah. Thanks, Mom.”
Sarah waited at the door until Carol and Cynthia were in the car and waved to them as they backed out of the driveway. She wondered how Cynthia would respond when she found out about the baby. She’d probably be really happy if it was a boy. She might even be nicer to her. And that would make Robert happy too. She sighed and said a silent prayer for a boy before turning and going back into the house.
Emma and Lizzy were playing quietly, dressing her Barbies in the new clothes she’d gotten. Kate and Maggie had cleared all the gift wrap and ribbons from the living room and gone into the kitchen. Sarah joined them in there.
“Thank you so much again for all your help,” she said. “I couldn’t have done it without you.”
“Of course,” Kate said.
“Time to take a load off,” Maggie said, pouring herself more coffee and motioning to the table where Kate was already seated, cup in hand. Sarah poured herself a cup and plopped down into a chair. Maggie raised her cup.
“A toast: To the best sober party ever!”
“Hear, hear,” Kate said. “Great job, Sarah.”
They all clinked their cups.
“Cynthia might beg to differ,” Sarah said.
“Oh, the hell with her,” Maggie said. “I was ready to deck her a few times. What a miserable, arrogant, sad sack she is.”
Kate laughed. “Boy. You don’t hold anything back, do you?”
Maggie shrugged. “I just call it like I see it. She takes wet blanket to new levels.”
“Well, I’ll agree she was a bit remote,” Kate said. “But everyone else seemed to have a wonderful time, especially Lizzy. Which is what matters. All in all, I’d say it was a huge success!”
Sarah smiled weakly. “Thanks. But like I said, I couldn’t have done it without both of you. I can’t thank you enough.”
Kate placed her hand on Sarah’s forearm. “Our pleasure. Really.”
“Absolutely,” Maggie said. “It was fun!”
“It was,” Sarah said wearily, closing her eyes and sipping her coffee. The phone rang and her eyes popped open.
“That’s probably Robert,” she said, already moving toward the phone.
“Hello,” she answered, and then glanced over to Maggie and Kate and nodded. “Yeah, we’re all done. Carol and your mom just left.” Sarah hesitated, listening to Robert and then said, “She had a great time, but let me put her on so she can tell you herself.”
She mouthed “Be right back” to Kate and Maggie before turning to leave the room.
Kate was glad to see Sarah so cheerful. She turned to Maggie. “She seemed pretty happy today.”
Maggie nodded. “I agree. More so than I’ve seen in a while.”
Kate smiled. “I know. You should have seen her when Lizzy was taking care of Cody. She just melted. She is so ready for another baby!”
“Yeah. She really seems to have warmed to the idea. I was little worried at first.”
Kate nodded. “I was too. But something shifted when she saw the ultrasound. Now I just hope Robert can embrace it.”
“Amen to that!”
The two women sat quietly. Kate continued to think about Robert and the baby, as well as what to say to Maggie. She felt protective of Sarah and convinced there was something going on with Robert. She was worried about Sarah getting hurt. But she didn’t want to dump all that out onto Maggie. What if she was wrong?
“Boy, I’m beat,” Maggie said. “This kid party stuff takes a lot out of you!”
Kate laughed. “Welcome to our world! This is nothing. Imagine doing it 24/7!”
Maggie screwed up her face. “I don’t think I want to. Being the fun aunt might be my path in life!”
Kate smiled. “I hear you.”
Sarah came back into the kitchen and put the portable phone back on the base. “Well, the girls are begging for a sleepover, but I’m not sure I can handle any more.”
“Wiped out?” Maggie asked.
Sarah nodded and slumped into a chair. “I’ve been feeling tired and queasy the past few days. Welcome to the first trimester!”
“Why don’t I take Lizzy tonight?” Kate said.
Sarah shook her head. “No. I don’t want to impose. You’ve already done so much. You’ve got to be beat too.”
“Tired, yes. But pregnant I’m not. C’mon. You need some rest. I won’t take no for an answer.”
“Well, if you’re sure . . .”
“Good,” Kate said. “It’s settled. They’ll probably fall asleep as soon as I get them home anyway.”
“Everything okay with Robert?” Maggie asked.
Sarah nodded. “Yeah. He couldn’t talk long, but he said he might make it back as early as Wednesday or Thursday.”
“Are you still gonna wait until he gets back to tell him about the baby?” Kate asked, aware that she might be pushing too much again but unable to restrain herself.
“I don’t know.” Sarah picked at the edge of the table. “It’s hard to wait. Today made me feel excited to tell him. I might call him back tonight.”
“Rest a little first,” Kate said, worried that a negative reaction from Robert would be even more devastating after the high of the day. “Maybe a hot bath.”
“Great idea,” Sarah said. “That would feel luxurious right about now. Just what the doctor ordered!”
Chapter 12
Sarah felt rejuvenated after the bath. She hadn’t realized how much tension she’d been holding all day or how in need of some alone time she’d been. She felt grateful, yet again, to Kate for coming to her rescue. Lizzy would have been so wound up from the party. She wouldn’t have gotten a moment’s peace. And she needed to be calm to call Robert. Fears that he would be angry about the pregnancy lingered just under the surface, but she pushed them away. She knew what she needed to do. Be positive. Upbeat. Excited. Then Robert would be excited too.
She came out of the bathroom in a towel and went into the walk-in closet to look for her cozy flannel nightgown that Robert hated so much.
It was just what she wanted to wear tonight, and he wouldn’t be here to complain about it. When she pulled open the dresser drawer, her black dress and the plastic cleaner’s bag were still where she’d stuffed them the night of her birthday dinner. She’d forgotten all about that. She took them out, threw the bag in the trash, and started to shake out the dress. She stopped and hesitated. She wasn’t going to be wearing this for a while. Sorry, Robert. She wondered if it could be fixed. Or if she’d ever fit into it again. She started to hang the dress on a hanger, but as she did her inner dialogue intensified. Why would you want to? You’re not nineteen anymore. It’s embarrassing how ridiculously short it is. What were you thinking even then? You should be ashamed of yourself.
Sarah thought about the dress and Robert and felt conflicted. It was true: she did feel embarrassed wearing it. Robert had picked it out and always wanted her to wear it, but truth be told, she’d never felt comfortable in it. It really wasn’t her. She never would have chosen it for herself. She should just get rid of it. But what would Robert say? Maybe she should just save it for now. She reached for a hanger—and then Maggie’s comment about Robert not being the king of her jumped into her mind. She smiled. Maggie was right. Why did she always do what he wanted? She needed to stand up for herself for a change. She took hold of the dress on either side of the broken zipper, firmly ripped it in half, and tossed it into the trash can.
“Good riddance!” she said. She pulled her nightgown out of the drawer and pulled it over her head.
In the bathroom, she stopped to look at her reflection in the mirror. She hadn’t noticed before, but her face was looking slightly fuller. She touched her belly and smiled. She really couldn’t wait much longer to tell him. The changes in her body were already starting to show. She reached for her toothbrush, feeling a new resolve. No time like the present. She would brush her teeth and then go call him.
Sarah glanced at the clock after crawling into bed. Eleven sixteen. He should still be awake. She paused briefly, then excitedly picked up the phone and hit the speed dial.
“Hello. This is Robert Jenkins . . .” Robert’s voice recording started immediately. Sarah hung up the phone and held it in her lap, feeling frustrated. Why did he have his phone turned off? He couldn’t possibly be asleep already. He never went to sleep this early.
She closed her eyes and let her head sink back into the pillow for a few moments, feeling the depth of her exhaustion. She was so tired she could fall asleep sitting up.
She forced her eyes open and dialed Robert another time, but again the phone went to voicemail. She started to feel anxious. She really needed to talk to him tonight. She was ready. Tomorrow wouldn’t be good. He’d be working, and he’d made it very clear she shouldn’t call when he was at work unless it was an emergency.
The urgency she felt was overwhelming. She made a decision. She’d call the landline. He had told her to only use it in emergencies, but surely this was a good enough reason. She got out of bed to get the number from her address book and then crawled back in bed and dialed.
“Stephanie McAllister, you were amazing tonight,” Robert said as he unlocked the door to his beach house. “Have I ever told you how smoking hot you are when you are wheeling and dealing?”
Stephanie smiled. “You might have mentioned it.”
“Well it’s true. You go in for the kill in a way that leaves them thinking you’ve just given them a wonderful gift!”
“Yeah, I got skills.”
“Yes, you do,” he said. “And I’ve got champagne. This definitely calls for a celebration. It’s in the fridge. Go ahead and pull it out. I need to get the remnants of my steak out of my teeth!”
He took off his suit coat and headed to the bathroom. Stephanie kicked off her heels, took off the crimson print wrap hanging loosely around her shoulders, and draped it over the back of the leather sofa. Her sleeveless black dress hugged her shapely body.
“That was a delicious dinner,” she called out to Robert as she opened the refrigerator. “And nice atmosphere. We should make that a regular client restaurant.” She lifted the bottle of champagne—and then almost dropped it when the kitchen wall phone next to her rang.
“Steph, can you grab that?” Robert called from the bathroom. “It might be Sam calling to see how tonight went.”
Stephanie closed the refrigerator, champagne in hand, and picked up the phone with the other hand.
“Hello,” she answered.
“Oh. I’m sorry,” Sarah stammered. “I must have dialed the wrong number.”
“No problem,” Stephanie said pleasantly and put the phone back in the cradle on the wall. “Just a wrong number,” she called to Robert as she began twisting the cap off the champagne.
Sarah felt her stomach tighten, but she pushed the fear away. You stupid klutz. You must have dialed it wrong. Try to be more careful. Sarah slowly re-dialed the number, saying each one aloud as she pressed the corresponding button. She listened as the phone began to ring.
“Hello,” a woman answered.
Sarah felt flustered at hearing the same woman’s voice again. “I’m sorry,” she managed to spit out. “Is this 310-555-3258?”
“Yeah, that’s right. Who were you trying to reach?”
“I’m sorry. I was trying to reach a Robert Jenkins. I thought this was his number.”
“Yeah, it is. He’s right here . . . Robbie, it’s for you.”
Sarah’s mind raced. Robbie? Who called him Robbie? She’d never heard anyone call him that before. Who was this, anyway? And what was she doing at his place so late?
“Hello?” Robert’s voice said.
“Robert?”
“Sarah. Why did you call this number? I told you to always call me on my cell phone.”
“I tried, but it went straight to your voicemail.” Sarah could hear the irritation in Robert’s voice. She didn’t want to upset him, but she wanted to know who had answered the phone. She felt confused. She couldn’t think.
“My battery died. Why are you calling so late anyway? Is Lizzy okay?”
“Yeah . . . she’s fine.” Sarah hesitated. “Who . . . who answered the phone?”
“Sarah, why are you calling?”
“I . . . I wanted to talk to you about something,” Sarah said, feeling suddenly small and scared.
“At this hour? Can’t it wait until tomorrow?”
“Uh . . . yeah . . . okay,” she managed to say.
“Good. I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Good night.”
Robert hung up the phone and began loosening his tie. He’d been having such a great evening. Why did Sarah have to call and ruin it all? And why was she calling? Whatever it was about, he wasn’t looking forward to the conversation.
“Everything okay?” Stephanie asked.
“Fuck no,” Robert said as he pulled off his tie. “You shouldn’t have answered the phone.”
“Don’t get pissed at me,” Stephanie shot back. “In case you don’t recall, you asked me to answer it.”
Robert sighed and dropped his shoulders. He didn’t want to take this out on Stephanie. “I know. I’m sorry. I’m just tired of having to lie and come up with more stories and excuses.”
“Maybe it’s time to just tell her the truth.”
Robert shook his head. “It’s complicated.”
“I know you think it is.”
Robert knew Stephanie’s opinion. He should come clean with Sarah. But that would also mean coming clean with his parents. And he wasn’t sure he was ready for that. Not yet.
“Right now, I don’t want to think about it at all.” Robert reached for the champagne bottle. “What I do want to think about is the big deal we closed tonight. We are an awesome team!” He poured two glasses and lifted one up. “To us,” he toasted.
Stephanie picked up the other glass and gently tapped the rim of Robert’s glass. “To us!”
Maggie sat up in bed with a start when her phone rang. She automatically reached for it, her eyes still cl
osed.
“Hello?” she said, her voice groggy.
“Maggie,” a tremulous voice said. “I’m sorry to wake you.”
“Sarah.” Her eyes flew open. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?”
“I called Robert a while ago and a woman answered.”
“Shit . . .”
“I don’t know what to do,” Sarah said between sobs. “I don’t know who it was. It’s so late. Why would she be there?”
Maggie shook her head, trying to wake up. She was having a hard time understanding what Sarah was saying. She wasn’t making any sense. “Did you talk to Robert?”
“Briefly,” Sarah said, her voice wavering. “He thought something had happened to Lizzy and then was mad that I called him on his home phone.”
“Why the hell would he be mad about you calling on his home phone?” Maggie wondered aloud, feeling more confused by the second. This all seemed so convoluted. Was Sarah having a bad dream or something? Then she remembered what Kate had said about Robert’s control tactics. Was this an example of what she meant?
“I don’t know,” Sarah said, her voice steadier. “He told me that I should call his cell because he always has it with him. To only use the landline in an emergency. But tonight, I guess his battery died. It kept going straight to voicemail. And I really needed to talk to him about the baby. So I called the home phone.”
“What did he say when you told him?”
“I didn’t get a chance,” Sarah said, and she began crying again. “He said it was late. That it could wait. That we would talk tomorrow.”
Maggie was waking up and her mind was slowly kicking into action. She didn’t know what to think or what to say. There might be a logical reason that a woman would be there, but she had to admit that it did look suspicious. Was Robert having an affair? It didn’t seem possible. He was always so romantic with Sarah. But maybe that was a guilt thing. Like that episode of Friends when Joey’s dad was being extra nice and loving with Joey’s mom because he was having an affair.
