by L. A. Casey
I shrugged. “Bronagh and Branna always tell me to ‘put the kettle on’ when they need to have a serious conversation, so I figured you might want one before we talk.”
“Um, sure.” She swallowed. “I’d love a builder’s cuppa, please.”
“What the hell is that?”
“Ye’ know,” she said. “A cup of tea with loads of sugar?”
Too much sugar was gross, but if it was the way she liked it, then that was that. I got a cup, popped a teabag inside it, and turned the kettle on. I turned and leaned my ass back against the counter and folded my arms across my chest. My eyes found Keela’s, and she appeared not to know what to do with herself.
She shifted her stance a few times, and though she was looking at me, she looked everywhere on my body except at my eyes. I knew I made her nervous, which was the whole reason I was making her a cup of tea. I watched as her eyes moved to my mouth, and I felt my lips quirk upwards into a grin when she licked her lower lip as she stared at me.
“I’m just goin’ to sit down.”
She moved to the kitchen table and made a huge deal of looking at her surroundings as she sat down just so she wouldn’t have to look at me.
“So,” she began, clasping her hands in front of her. “What details do we have to go over in order for ye’ to escort me to me cousin’s weddin’?”
She was looking out to the backyard as she spoke, and it gave me a moment to look at her. She was an enigma to me. Last night, she was hard as nails, and right now, she seemed as fragile as a feather. I wasn’t sure how to approach her, and that was new for me, because I normally knew how to approach everyone.
“In order for me to escort you to your cousin’s wedding, I need to draw up a contract—”
“Hold up, buddy. A contract? Is this conversation about to get Fifty Shades of Grey?”
I raised a brow. “That kinky porn book women love?”
When she nodded, I laughed. I had heard of that book, everyone had heard of it, and the fact that she associated it to our current situation amused me. I turned to the kettle when it made a beeping noise, letting me know the water was boiling, and began making her tea.
“This conversation isn’t about to get fifty shades of anything, Keela. Contracts with my clients are routine.”
“Alec, I’m not your client. What I am askin’ of you is a favour, not a business deal.”
That was true.
“Why don’t you tell me what you want from this favour, so I get a better understanding of things because this is clearly going to be something I’m not used to either.”
“Well”—she cleared her throat—”much wouldn’t be required of ye’. I just want ye’ to pretend to be me boyfriend ... that’s it.”
With her tea made, I turned and carried it over the table. I placed it on top of the coaster in front of Keela, then I took a seat across from her. Her eyes focused on my forearms, then they locked on my tattoo. Her eyes rolled over me, and a shivered raced up my spine as if I could feel their touch.
“Can ye’ put some clothes on?”
And deny her eye fuck? Not a chance.
“Does my being shirtless make you uncomfortable?”
“Yes, it does.”
“Tough shit. It’s hot out, so I’m skins for the day.”
Keela frowned. “I don’t even know what that means.”
I teasingly clicked my tongue. “Irish people.”
“American people.”
“So.” I snorted. “You just want me to be your boyfriend?”
She played with her fingers. “Yes, ye’ just have to make it believable that we are a real couple.”
I settled back into the chair. “How would you like me to make it believable?”
She shifted. “Please stop tryin’ to embarrass me.”
“I’m asking a legit question.”
“Just act like a lovin’ boyfriend; hold me hand, kiss me cheek—”
“Open a door for you, then smack your ass when you walk by me?”
She rolled her eyes. “I’m bein’ serious.”
“So am I. Deadass serious.”
“I just want me family to think we’re a real, happy couple. That’s it.”
And I thought this job might be somewhat hard.
I chortled. “Trust me, kitten, this will be the easiest job I’ve ever done.”
“It will?”
I nodded. “Yep.”
“So ... so does that mean ye’ll escort me to the weddin’?”
She looked like she would scream in delight if I said yes.
“If you abide by my conditions, then yes, I will.”
Uncertainty washed over her face. “What are your conditions?”
I held up my index finger. “Number one, absolutely no falling in love with me.”
When she laughed, it caught me off guard. I wasn’t sure what she found funny. If she knew how many people had gotten attached to me in the past, she wouldn’t utter a sound.
“I’m being serious, Keela,” I said. “No falling in love with me.”
The little witch laughed harder. “I know. That’s why ... I’m laughin’ ... oh God. Your face!”
I didn’t find her funny.
“Okay,” she said, forcing herself to calm down. “So I’m not to fall in love with you. Got it. What’s number two?”
I grunted. “Number two, you treat me as a person and not as the hired help.”
All traces of amusement fled from Keela’s face. “I will always treat ye’ as a person. I can’t treat ye’ like hired help even if I wanted because I’m not payin’ ye’.”
I waggled my eyebrows. “You could pay me in sexual favours.”
Keela tilted her head to the side. “Ye’ll get paid with nice manners.”
Ouch.
“The rest of my conditions might make you a little uneasy then.”
She sat up straighter. “What are they?”
I lifted my hand and rubbed the back of my neck. “You sure you want an honest answer to that question, kitten?” At her nod, I said, “I want to fuck you.”
She watched me as if she was waiting for me to laugh and tell her I was joking, but when I didn’t, fire ignited in her eyes.
“Why aren’t ye’ laughin’?”
“Because I’m not joking.”
“Ye’ better be jokin’!”
I raised my hands. “I don’t joke about conditions for a contract.”
She flattened her palms on the table. “This is not a contract. This is a favour. Ye’ don’t get paid for it with anythin’ other than a verbal thank you.”
I clicked my tongue. “So I’m supposed to be your boyfriend without receiving the privileges or benefits of having a girlfriend?”
“Yes!” she replied, shaking her head. “This is all only pretend!”
“Nah, that’s a no-go for me. We’re going to work that out right now. If you want me to be your boyfriend, then I want some privileges at least. I’m a man—I have needs.”
I was milking this, and I knew I was, but I wanted to fuck this woman so bad, I was willing to chance my arm to see if she’d accept it as a condition to me helping her. She probably thought I’d want sex on demand but little did she know that I would make her crave me before I fucked her.
Keela looked defeated. “What exactly d’ye want from me, Alec?”
“I like physical intimacy.” I shrugged. “No feelings or emotional bullshit, just the physical stuff. I like holding hands, kissing, cuddling, hugging, and fucking. If I’m going to be your pretend boyfriend, then this is what I want. It’s not asking for much.”
The woman looked like she was going to kick the shit out of me.
“Shaggin’ is not on the table at all, so ye’ can get it out of your head right now.”
My cock jumped at the challenge.
“We’ll see, kitten.”
“What d’ye mean ‘we’ll see’?”
“I mean ... we will see.”
“We won’
t see anythin’!” She fumed. “I’ve changed me mind. I don’t need your help.”
She just about reached the door when my arms wrapped around her. Her gasp told me she hadn’t heard me move. “You came to me for help, not the other way around, kitten,” I said into her ear. “You don’t have anyone else who can help you, or you wouldn’t be here ... like it or not, you do need my help. You need me.”
She moved out of my hold and spun to face me.
“I’m not shaggin’ you. If that is a deal breaker for ye’, then so be it. I won’t sleep with ye’ in order for ye’ to escort me to the weddin’ as me boyfriend. I don’t care how good lookin’ ye’ are. I’m not that kind of girl!”
Hearing her admit her attraction to me made my ego swell.
“You think I’m good looking?”
She glared up at me, and I was sure she thought she looked intimidating, but she really didn’t. I liked how she stuck to her guns about not wanting to fuck me, though, and that gave me an idea.
“I want to fuck you, no doubt about it, kitten, but it doesn’t have to be a condition since you’re so against it. In fact, since you’re so dead set against it, I’m going to make you a bet instead.”
She eyed me. “What kind of bet?”
“A sexual kind of bet.”
“What?”
I reached up at twirled a curl of her thick, soft red hair around my finger.
“I bet that before anyone says ‘I do,’ I’ll have you on your back with your legs spread wide as I pound away between your thighs.”
Keela’s jaw dropped.
“And you will be the one begging me to suck and fuck you.”
Her eyes dramatically widened. “Are ye’ serious?”
At my nod, she laughed.
“Ye’ have yourself a bet, laddie.”
Her confidence made me smile, but what really amused me was how much she really believed she couldn’t be seduced by me.
“My updated conditions are that we sleep in the same bed and that I can kiss you, touch you, and cuddle with you whenever I want.”
Keela paused. “Ye’ think by doin’ all that, I will willingly lose our bet and have sex with ye’, don’t ye’?”
My lips twitched as I shrugged.
“Fine.” She snorted. “We can sleep in the same bed, but ye’ have to wear pyjama bottoms.”
Come again?
“I sleep naked,” I said. “I always have and always will.”
“Ye’ll wear pyjamas if you’re to sleep in a bed with me. I’m not backin’ down on this, playboy.”
“Playboy,” I repeated. “Really, kitten?”
“Stop callin’ me that.”
“Nah, I like it. You’re small and vulnerable like a cute little kitten.”
“If kitten is staying, then so is playboy.”
I could handle it. “I’ve been called worse, kitten.”
She huffed. “I want to make it clear that I don’t like ye’ very much.”
She only thought that because I didn’t bend to her will.
“Give it time and you’ll like me plenty.”
She ignored me, and said, “Ye’ must wear pyjamas when you’re in the same bed as me. D’ye understand me?”
I licked my lower lip. “I like you giving me orders.”
“Does that mean you’ll follow them?”
I laughed. “Let’s not get too hasty, kitten.”
Keela’s shoulders slumped. “I’m not backin’ down on this. Wearin’ pyjamas is a condition of mine.”
I regarded her. “Is that so?”
“Yes, it is so.”
Her chin lifted in the air, and I liked how fierce she seemed at that moment.
“Fine, pyjama pants in bed.”
Keela beamed in triumph. “And as for the kissin’ and touchin’ parts of your conditions—we will have to build up to that. I don’t know ye’, and I refuse to get intimate on any level with a stranger even if it is fake.”
I could deal with that. “Okay, that sounds fair.”
“So, you’ll be me pretend boyfriend and escort me to Micah and Jason’s weddin’?
I guffawed at her obvious excitement. “Yeah, kitten. You’ve got yourself a fake man.”
She clapped her hands together. “I can’t wait to see Jason’s face. This is gonna be so feckin’ good!”
She returned to her sit at the table, lifted her cup of tea to her lips, blew on it, took a sip, and groaned as she swallowed the hot liquid. Her eyelids fluttered shut, and that was all it took for my erection to spring to life.
“You make the perfect cuppa tea.”
“All that sugar will rot your teeth.”
“I need this. This is how I stay sane.”
I sat back down, and discreetly adjusted my cock in my shorts, but my attention turned to the doorway when I heard a thumping sound. Keela heard it too, and she stood and walked towards the door and pulled it open without a word. She leaped backwards when Dominic fell forward and crashed onto the ground. I cracked up with laughter as he hit the ground with a resounding thud.
What a dumbass.
“I told ye’ she had super hearin’!” Aideen’s voice shouted from down the hallway.
Dominic cursed under his breath as he pushed himself to his feet.
“Are ye’ okay?” Keela asked him. “Ye’ hit the ground hard.”
“He’s fine. Don’t worry about him. It serves him right for eavesdropping.”
Dominic’s eyes found mine. “I wasn’t eavesdropping. I was coming in to get some water—”
“Explain why you were pressed up against the door and fell when she opened it then?”
He opened his mouth to speak but closed it a second later and settled on glaring at me instead.
“Get your water and leave, little brother. I have things to discuss with my girlfriend.”
Dominic’s eyebrows shot up so high they got lost in his hairline.
“Girlfriend?” he spluttered.
Keela glared at me. “He means fake girlfriend.”
I blew her a kiss. “I’m getting into character, baby.”
“Don’t call me that.”
“Fine,” I mused. “Just kitten then.”
She placed her hands on her hips.
“How about callin’ me Keela since that’s me name?”
Dominic chuckled, and said, “Just call her Keela. I never hear the end of it if I don’t call Bronagh by her name.”
“What do you call her if not ‘er name?” Keela asked.
Dominic gently clocked her chin with his knuckles, and said, “I call her my pretty girl.”
Keela looked like she just about melted into a damn puddle.
“That is the cutest thing I have ever heard in me entire life.”
“Besides Bronagh and her sister, you’re the cutest woman I have ever seen in my entire life.”
I gritted my teeth together and flexed my fingers before I balled my hands into fists. I got up, crossed the room, and put my body in front of Keela’s. Dominic looked at me with bemused eyes.
“Five-second warning to back off or I’m putting you on your ass, little brother.”
“Bro, what the hell has gotten into you? Since when do you threaten me?” he asked me. “Since when do you threaten anybody?”
“Stop flirting with her,” I growled. “I don’t like it.”
“Jesus, Alec, calm down,” Keela said. “He was only messin’ with me, ye’ weirdo.”
Dominic blissfully laughed, and said, “I like her.”
“I like her more and more each time she insults him,” Kane’s deep voice suddenly spoke as he entered the room and headed straight for the fridge.
“Fucking hell ... déjà vu,” Dominic muttered.
I was about to tell both of them to get there asses out of the room when I felt nails gently rake over my back. A shudder rain through my body, and blood rushed to my cock. The erection that fell when Dominic entered the room was back and throbbed. I turned to Ke
ela, pulled her body against mine, and bent down, placing my mouth at her ear. “If you touch my back again, be prepared for a hard fucking, kitten.”
She gasped, but from the way her pupils dilated, I knew she liked the sound of that.
“If ye’ say anythin’ like that to me again, I’ll ... I’ll ...”
“You’ll what, kitten?”
She didn’t answer me. She just glared up at me.
“She’ll kick your ass from the looks of things,” Kane commented, then left the room with the food he’d gathered from the fridge.
I swallowed at I stared down at her. She was stunning. Big green eyes, pink lips, a juicy fuller lower lip, and snow white skin that had light brown freckles sprinkled across it. Her hair looked the colour of a summer’s sunset, and the contrast of it against her fair skin was beautiful.
“You’re a real man, ye’ know that?”
“I’m all man, baby.”
“No,” Keela said with a shake of my head. “I mean you’re a man. Like a caveman.”
I had never been called that before.
“Is that a bad thing?”
“Yes and no.”
“I don’t understand what you’re saying. Is it bad or is it good? Be straight with me.”
Dominic laughed, and said, “Wrong thing to ask a woman, big bro.”
I spared him a glance. “What the hell do you know about women?”
“More than you.”
I had more notches on my bedpost that this little shit times two.
I smiled. “Be serious, Dominic.”
“I’m the one who has an actual girlfriend out of the pair of us. You have just fucked your way through an endless line of pussy since you were fifteen. You’ve never had to deal with a woman when it hasn’t come to sex ... not when you weren’t working anyway.”
Well, he had me there.
I regarded him. “Fine. Since you know so much, enlighten me, Yoda.”
Dominic rubbed his hands together. “I’m giving you a crash course in what I like to call The Man Bible. It contains all the secret meanings to what women actually mean when they speak. So listen to me very carefully,” he stressed. “It is almost impossible for men to understand it, but a lucky handful of us know the true meanings of words women use as weapons, and I am about to impart this wisdom to you, bro.”
Well, he had my complete and utter attention now.
“The first word is ‘Fine.’ When a woman says this during an argument, she knows she is right and that you are very wrong. She is not fine —you’re not fine, nothing is fine.”
