by L. A. Casey
The doctor nodded. “That is a possibility, but I had the tests done three times for confirmation, and nothin’ changed. The result was the same all three times. You’re a diabetic, Mr Slater.”
Well, fuck.
“I’m a diabetic?” I repeated to myself.
The room was quiet again, but not for long because Aideen had a few questions that she wanted to be answered.
“Type one is the one that requires insulin, right?”
The doctor looked at her, and said, “Yes, that is the very one.”
Aideen tilted her head to the side. “Isn’t that a children’s disease, though?”
“Normally.” The doctor bobbed his head. “It was dubbed with the name juvenile diabetes because it’s most commonly diagnosed in children, teenagers, or young adults. It can occur at any age, though.”
Aideen blinked. “Oh, I see.”
“I don’t understand,” I interrupted. “Wouldn’t I have known if I was diabetic? I mean, I would have had some signs, right?”
No one just suddenly become diabetic.
“Your brothers mentioned to the nurses last night about your extreme fatigue, weight loss, vomitin’, and so on over the past twelve months. It is very easy to look at these symptoms as a case of influenza, a vomitin’ bug, or even a simple head cold,” the doctor explained. “There are many different symptoms for type one diabetes. Some people suffer from all of them, and others have no signs at all. It varies from person to person.”
That shut me up.
“Your body is a special case, Kane. With a lot of people, the symptoms can start like the click of my fingers, and things can progress quickly. Then there are cases like yours where people can be ill for a long period of time but not need treatment straight away. Your body managed to get by with what little insulin it produced for the past year, but the strain has started to show, and it’s not enough anymore. Your collapsin’ last night is a prime example of that. Your body needs more insulin to survive than what it’s currently producin’.”
My stomach felt sick, and my mind raced.
“The bad news about type one diabetes is that there is no cure for it. Ye’ll have it for the rest of your life. The good news is that it is manageable. Ye’ll need to take a daily injection of insulin, startin’ today. You’ll have a standard daily dose, and it can be adjusted dependin’ on your sugar level. While ye’ were sleepin’ earlier, we sampled your blood sugar level, so it will be a low dose today as you’re not actively movin’, or consumin’ a lot of calories. That is the trick with your injections. The more active ye’ are or the more calories ye’ consume, the higher your dose needs to be. Don’t worry about that right now, though. We will develop a scale.”
The doctor went on as a nurse opened the door and wheeled in a trolley with a yellow bucket and other medical equipment on a large tray.
“Weekly appointments and check-ups at your local medical clinic will be set up until ye’ have a handle on your doses. It will become routine for ye’, and I doubt it will be difficult for ye’ to get a grasp of. Ye’ look like a man who knows about diet and exercise. Ye’ll just have to follow a new program to balance your body’s glucose level. Does that make sense?”
It made sense, but at the same time, I had no clue what the hell was going on. My eyes moved to the tray the nurse brought in, and my body went tense when I saw what looked like to be a needle.
“What’s that?”
“Your first insulin dose,” the doctor replied. “I’ll prescribe an insulin pen just because they are more convenient than dealin’ with a separate needle and bottle of insulin.”
Fear washed over me like a cold shower, causing me to jolt upright in the bed.
“You are not sticking a needle in me.”
The doctor jumped a little, startled at my shout, and he looked at my brothers for a moment before returning his eyes to mine.
“Your insulin must be injected under the skin, Mr Slater. It cannot be taken orally because the acids in your stomach will destroy it.”
No. No. No.
I frantically shook my head. “I don’t care; you’re not sticking a needle in me. I don’t give a fuck.”
“Shit,” Ryder said from my right. “Kane, you need this medication, or you don’t get better. Period. You have to take it.”
I looked at my brother, and when he looked into my eyes and frowned, I knew he saw the terror that I felt.
“Not a needle, Ryder. Please. Anything but a needle.”
I felt everyone’s eyes on me, especially Aideen’s, but I couldn’t look at her.
Dominic moved closer to the doctor. “He’s had some ... bad experiences with needles in the past.”
That was putting it fucking lightly.
The doctor frowned. “It has to be injected daily. I’m sorry, he has to receive this medication or ... or he will die.”
The women in the room gasped, but I didn’t care. I wasn’t allowing anyone to stick a needle in me ... I refused.
“I’ll do it,” Aideen suddenly announced.
I jerked my head in her direction and stared at her as she focused on the doctor.
He blinked. “I’m sorry, but that isn’t protocol—”
He wasn’t going to let up on sticking me with a needle, and my reaction was to bolt. I made a move to get out of the bed and out of the fucking hospital when Aideen suddenly came to my side and took my hand in hers. She didn’t seem to care that is was slick with sweat. She gripped it firmly and looked me dead in the eye. I couldn’t hold her gaze, my mind was too focused on being stabbed over and over and over.
“Hey,” Aideen said, squeezing my hand. “Look at me, Kane.”
I managed to look at her. “Not a needle,” I begged. “Please.”
Her pretty eyes shone with unshed tears.
“Ye’ trust me not to hurt ye’,” she said just as tears slowing spilled over the brims of her eyes and splashed onto her cheeks. “Don’t ye’?”
I hesitated. “Aideen ... I can’t ...”
“Ye’ trust me not to hurt ye’,” she repeated. “Don’t ye’?”
I wanted to scream.
“Yes,” I said. “I know you won’t hurt me.”
She reached out and placed her palm on my cheek. “Then let me help ye’. Let me do this and get it out of the way. It’ll be over before ye’ know it. I won’t ever hurt ye’, Kane. I promise.”
I looked into her eyes and saw no deceit or malice. I only saw the compassion she held for me. We weren’t friends—not even close. We argued and got under one another’s skin, but Aideen wanted to help me, and I knew she was the only person who I wanted to do just that.
I exhaled a shaky breath, and said, “Okay.”
“Okay,” she uttered with a small smile. “We’ve got this, okay? Me and you?”
“Me and you.”
I kept my eyes locked on hers, just so I didn’t have to look at her hands and see what she was doing.
“Give her the damn needle,” Dominic hissed. “He will only let her do it, so give it to her.”
I blocked out everyone but Aideen then. I would lose my nerve if I listened to what was being said. My heart just about stopped when she said, “Close your eyes for me.”
“Aideen, please,” I choked. “Don’t stab me with it.”
She looked like she wanted to hug me, but she didn’t move.
“It’s going to be one little prick in your thigh,” she said. “That’s all.”
One little prick. I could handle that. I hoped.
“You promise?”
“I promise, sweetheart.”
I held her gaze for a moment longer, then I wordlessly put all my trust in her as I closed my eyes. Seconds ticked by, I felt Aideen’s hands on my thigh after the bed covers were pulled back from my body. I focused on her touch and thought back to the night I had experienced more of her than just a simple touch. I thought of how she looked bare before me, how her face twisted in pleasure as I moved inside her
body, and how she cuddled against me in her sleep. I thought about that night all the time, and I wondered if she did too.
“All done.”
I opened my eyes when Aideen spoke, and my lips parted with shock.
“I didn’t feel anything.”
She smiled. “Told ye’.”
Gratitude flooded me, and before I realised what I was doing, I reached out and pulled her against me, hugging her tightly.
“I’ll come back later to discuss a check-up appointment date for next week. I’ll also go through everything with ’im, and with you all, about what to expect with his diabetes. We’ll keep ’im overnight again, and if he is respondin’ well to the injections, he can go home tomorrow.”
My brothers replied to the doctor, but I tuned them out once more and focused on Aideen.
“Are you okay?”
I squeezed her. “Yes.”
I rested back against the pillows on my bed, suddenly feeling drained.
“What the hell was that?” Bronagh demanded of Dominic. “I’ve never seen ‘im like that before.”
My little brother looked at his girlfriend, and I saw the moment he knew that he was going to end up in an argument with her because he sighed. “It’s not my place to explain that, Bronagh. It’s up to Kane if he wants to tell you.”
Not fucking likely.
“I don’t want to tell anything because we’re done speaking about that,” I said firmly. “And we’re done discussing injections of any type. I am not doing that shit again. No fucking way.”
The amount of fear that consumed me at the thought was too much for me to bear. I could never do that on a daily basis. I wasn’t strong enough.
“It’s not up for discussion, Kane,” Branna interjected. “Ye’ will be takin’ the injections. I’ll do them for ye’—”
“No!” I cut her off. “Just ... no.”
Ryder stepped towards Branna. “Stop pushing him.”
She turned to him and glared. “One of us has to. Otherwise, he will get sick again. Is that what ye’ want?”
Ryder didn’t respond; he only looked away from her.
“She’s right, Ryder,” Bronagh commented. “He needs to take them. Ye’ can’t baby ‘im.”
Alec’s face became hard as he looked at Bronagh.
“We aren’t babying him, Bronagh. We’re being considerate. He doesn’t like needles. End of fucking story.”
“Hey!” Alannah snapped at Alec. “Don’t talk to ‘er like that!”
“Don’t shout at ‘im, Lana,” Keela sighed, clearly not wanting anyone to argue.
Alannah glared at Keela. “Tell ‘im to back off Bronagh then.”
I wanted to punch a wall.
“It would help if you all stopped talking about me like I’m a fucking invalid. I can hear what you’re all saying, and I can make my own damn decisions when it comes to my body.”
Branna moved to the opposite side of the bed and stared down at me.
“D’ye want to die?” she bluntly asked. “Because that’s what will happen if ye’ don’t take the insulin daily.”
“Branna,” Ryder shouted. “Fucking stop.”
Aideen jumped with fright, and that irked me because it meant Ryder had frightened her, and I didn’t want her to be scared of any of my brothers.
“No!” Branna bellowed right back at him. “I love ‘im! I don’t want ‘im to get sick again!”
Everyone began to talk at once again, couples arguing, and friends snapping at each other.
“Kane?”
I looked at Aideen and tensed. “I know what you’re going to say.”
“What?”
“Kane, you need to take the insulin. You’ll get sick if you don’t,” I mimicked her.
When she smiled, my heart thumped against my chest.
“Yep, that was pretty much it.”
I swallowed. “I don’t do needles, Aideen. I just don’t.”
Ryder suddenly moved past Branna and leaned down to me. “What can we do to get you to take the insulin shots?”
“I. Don’t. Do. Needles,” I repeated.
“You don’t,” Aideen butted in, “but I do.”
The room went silent.
“What?” I balked. “What are you saying?”
Aideen leaned forward, and said, “I’ll give ye’ your injections every day. Ye’ let me do it once; will ye’ let me do it every other time, too?”
Everyone in the room looked at Aideen, then I felt their gazes turn to me as they awaited my answer.
“Why would you want to help me?”
She hated me.
Aideen’s lips twitched. “I enjoy arguin’ with ye’, and I need to keep ye’ around for that, so I guess I’m doin’ this for me own selfish needs. Sue me.”
The tension in the room when people chuckled, and I grinned.
“Aideen,” I said. “Thank you, but I don’t—”
“Hey,” she interrupted with a beaming smile. “Me and you?”
I wondered if she knew just how deeply those words rooted in my heart.
I exhaled a deep breath and said, “Me and you.”
“We got this.”
I stared at her for a long time. Every part of my mind screamed at me that no matter what way I looked at the situation, I was still going to be stabbed with a needle, and that scared the life out of me. I tried to assure myself that when Aideen injected me minutes ago, I felt nothing once I focused on her entirely. I wondered if I kept her in my mind’s eye, then maybe, I could get through daily injections. Once it was her handling the needle, I knew I would be in good hands. This fear was rooted in me because of Big Phil, and it shamed me knowing that he had power over me when I swore long ago I wouldn’t allow him to have it. I focused on Aideen and decided then that through her, I would beat this fear and shatter Big Phil’s control over me once and for all.
“Well,” Aideen pressed. “What d’ye say?”
She had no idea of knowing, but she just intertwined her life with mine, and I intended on keeping things that way.
“I say okay, baby doll.”
CHAPTER SIX
Twenty-six years old ...
“Kane.”
I looked at Ryder as he drove. We were on our way home from a job—a job neither of us wanted to do. My brother looked like a broken man. I knew it was breaking his heart to lie to Branna, but he had no choice in the matter. My heart went out to him. We had been out of the game for a few years now, but unfortunately, our past with Marco had caught up with Ryder and landed him neck deep in shit with the feds.
My brother had been given two options, help the feds by spying on Brandy Daley or be tried for murder and if convicted, go to prison without the possibility of parole. He was the only one of my brothers who the feds contacted, and I knew that was probably because of a deal Ryder had worked out to keep me and my other brothers safe. He was always protecting us, protecting Branna, and never once thought about protecting himself.
“Yeah, man?”
“I appreciate you helping me today,” Ryder said with his eyes locked on the road ahead. “This is the first and last time I’ll need your help with this bullshit, I promise.”
“Don’t sweat it, bro. I got you.”
“No,” Ryder said firmly. “This is the last time. You’re about to become a father, and nothing about that part of our lives is tainting that.”
I didn’t respond to him. He looked like he was beating himself up enough for needing me to help him. When he called me this morning and told me that Brandy wanted him to run a deal in Wexford, he knew he needed someone to accompany him. No one went to do deals on Brandy’s behalf without having some muscle to watch their back. Ryder didn’t trust any of Brandy’s men, and since I used to be an enforcer, I was his obvious choice.
“It’s over and done with now,” I said. “You got the deal and earned Brandy a hell of a profit. Put it out of your mind.”
I knew it was easier said than done, but my brother n
odded. I looked at my phone for the millionth time and was frustrated to find it was still dead. Ryder’s phone was out of battery too, so I couldn’t check in with Aideen throughout the day to make sure she was okay. When we pulled into the parking lot of my building, we both got out and headed up to my apartment. The elevator opened on my floor just as I heard my girlfriend scream. My heart dropped, and I broke into a run and barrelled into my apartment, the door slamming against the wall.
“Aideen!”
Branna’s voice shouted, “In the bedroom!”
Ryder and I wasted no time. We rushed down the hallway and burst into the room. I took in the scene before me. My three brothers were pale, Aideen was naked from the waist down and in the birthing pool, and Branna was next to her and holding her hand. I focused on Aideen, and it took a second to realise what was happening. She was in labour ... and I was missing it.
“Strip down and get into the pool with her,” Branna ordered me. “She needs ye’.”
Aideen bellowed, “Where the fuck have ye’ been?”
I didn’t answer her, so she picked up two colourful balls and squeezed them. While she was focused on that, I looked at my brothers and said, “How long has she been in labour?”
“Most of the day,” Dominic answered. “We tried calling you guys.”
His words hurt like a knife twisting in my heart. I hurriedly stripped out of my clothes until I was down to my boxers and quickly moved over to the pool. I stepped inside and lowered myself on my behind. I spread my legs and moved up behind Aideen. I reached forward and gripped her waist before I leaned in and planted kisses along her neck and shoulder.
“I’m here, baby doll.”
Aideen began to cry, and it broke my heart. I felt the relief she experienced now that she had me with her, and I couldn’t begin to imagine how scared she was at having to going through labour on her own, wondering where I was and if I would make it in time to see our baby being born.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered to her and kissed the side of her head. “I’m so sorry.”
She turned to me and press her face to mine. “I can’t do this.”
“What are you talking about?” I smiled. “You’re doing it, and you’re doing it fucking awesomely.”
