“Oh girl, no wonder your head’s messed up. That’s fucked up, for sure.” She sighs, grabbing my hand.
“I’m in so deep, though.” My mind flickers with an abundance of chaotic thoughts. “I love him,” I choke out.
“Of course, you do, or you wouldn’t be getting so upset.”
I take a huge breath, and her arms wrap around me again. “I’m sorry,” I choke out.
“For what?” she asks, clinging a little tighter.
“Turning up here and unloading all my shit on you.”
“Hey,” she warns, pulling back and pointing her finger at me. “Don’t ever apologize. I’m a friend; that’s what I’m here for.”
“Thank you,” I say, only I’m cut off by the sound of thudding at the door.
“Shit.” I jump up from the couch. “I shouldn’t have come here; I should have known he’d guess where I was.”
The thudding on the door intensifies.
“I’ll go.” Cady storms toward the door. I follow right behind her. The last thing I need is him making a scene at the door.
She pulls open the door slowly, peering through the small gap.
“Where is she?” he asks, his voice a low growl, one that causes me to tremble. Cady looks at me, her eyes asking the unspoken question.
I shake my head.
“I’m sorry, she doesn’t want to see you.”
“Well, I say tough fucking shit. Get her out here, now,” he demands, and I can tell Cady is intimidated.
“It’s okay,” I say, stepping forward and out of the door.
“Are you sure about this?” Cady asks, her hand resting on my shoulder. I just nod once, standing in the doorway, in front of Ryder.
“Come home, Pip. This whole thing is bullshit.”
I hold out my hand, signaling for him not to come a step closer. “I don’t even know what to say to you, Ryder. How many more secrets are you hiding?” I spit.
“That’s a low fucking blow, Pip, and you know it. I had no idea about that girl back there, and believe me, it’s bullshit. I wrapped that motherfucker up, so if I say it’s not possible, then I mean it’s not fucking possible.”
I glare at him for a few minutes, contemplating my next move.
“Well?” He growls with frustration.
“I need space,” I mumble, allowing my eyes to focus on the ground rather than at his beautiful green eyes. Because I can’t bear it any longer. The sadness mixed with anger in his eyes is just too much for me to take.
“Mom says you can stay here.” Cady appears next to me, her hand resting gently on my back.
“I’d like that,” I say with a smile.
“No,” Ryder roars. “Don’t fucking do this, Kailee. Don’t you dare walk away from me.”
“I have to. I need time to think things over. I need to figure out all the shit playing over and over in my mind.”
“Okay,” he replies calmly, digging his hand into his pocket and pulling out a cigarette. He rests it against his lip, flicking back the top of the metal lighter and holding it against the cigarette. “I respect you need space, but I’ll be back in the morning. No fucking arguments,” he says, his eyes burning into me.
“Fine,” I reply, sharper than I had intended. He walks down the path, and I’m stuck to the spot watching him with my heart torn in two. The push and pull of being so deeply in love and so desperately confused.
“Come inside,” Cady insists, pulling on my arm.
I end up staying with Cady, but my heart pines for Ryder. Wondering if I’d overreacted, and if I should have given him more time to explain.
I wake up early, and sunlight streams through the small gap around the window. I can’t help but reach for my phone to check for calls or messages from Ryder. I press the home button, and lighting the screen, I see one message.
I swipe to open, swallowing down the lump that has grown in my throat since the second I saw his name on the screen. I read the message then read it again. It says he’s not lying and that he will prove it.
I hope he can prove it. I want so badly to believe him and for this to be some horrible joke.
Ryder
I haven’t fucking slept all night, and the dark circles under my eyes are a testament to that fact. I was cold, the bed was empty, and my head was a raging fucking mess. Nicole showing up here with her bullshit story about being pregnant pushed us apart, and I have to make her believe me. I’m not that guy who sleeps around and knocks girls up. I throw on clothes and make my way downstairs.
“Morning, Ma,” I say, kissing her lightly on the head. She’s sitting at the small dining table, sipping on a glass of orange juice.
“Son.” She looks up at me, her forehead wrinkling as she does. “Fresh OJ? I just squeezed it.” She points at the countertop where I see the juicer on the side and a small amount left over in the jug.
I rub my eyes with the back of my hand. “I need coffee and lots of it,” I grumble.
“We’re all out, my dear.”
I sigh. “I’ll go to the store,” I say with a smile, grabbing my jacket and swiping the car keys from the side. “Back soon,” I throw over my shoulder as I head out to the car.
Driving the short distance, I pull up outside the grocery store. My eyes are drawn instantly to the car beside mine. It’s Jax’s car.
Shit, that’s all I need. Making my way toward the entrance, I see him emerge from the store, his arms full of bags. As I close the gap, the overpowering smell of alcohol hits me.
“Bro,” he slurs his words, and it’s obvious he’s drunk.
“You’re a mess, Jax, sort yourself out,” I grate out as I glare disgustedly at him.
“Well” — he points his finger at me — “you don’t look so great yourself. Where’s your little bitch gone?”
I feel my adrenaline spike, and I need an outlet. I push my flat hand against his chest, gritting my teeth together. “Don’t talk about her like that, you sorry ass motherfucker,” I fume. He stumbles back, his ass dropping onto the sidewalk. The bag drops, beers rolling out all over the walkway.
He laughs wickedly, and I instantly feel the rage pound through me. “Get your sorry ass off the ground and get your shit together.”
“You’ve always been quite the hero, Ryder. Haven’t you, huh?”
“Hero,” I scoff, “hardly. I just protect those I love.” I walk past him, stepping over the groceries strewn across the walkway.
“And does she love you now you got a girl pregnant, brother?” He accentuates the word brother to goad me. I spin around.
“What the fuck did you say?” I step back, towering over him as he’s slumped on the ground, pushing my boot down on his chest.
He continues to laugh hysterically.
“It was you, wasn’t it?” I push down harder with my foot, unable to control the rage circling inside me. “You put her up to this, didn’t you? That girl from the strip club, Nicole.”
“Is that why she’s not with you, bro? Has she left your sorry ass?” He continues to laugh, and it takes everything I have not to break this fucker’s neck.
No longer able to control it, my anger is at a boiling point as I reach down, grab his shirt, and drag him up from the floor. I push him back until he falls flat against the hood of his car.
“Do it, Ryder. Fucking finish this now,” he taunts.
I pull him closer to my face before I thrust him back against the hood. “Fucking asshole,” I grate out. “Tell me. Was it you? Did you put her up to this?”
But it was useless. His eyes could barely focus on me, and I’m not sure he even knows what the hell is happening. I cock back my clenched fist, ready to beat the fuck outta him for what he’s done.
“I warned you, asshole. I warned you to leave us the fuck alone. But you just couldn’t, could you?”
He shields his face with his arm, bruises covering them, the prominent ones at the crook of his arm where his veins are most noticeable.
“You fucking disgust m
e,” I sneer, releasing my hold on him and stepping back. I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand, my chest heaving.
“You’re not worth it,” I yell at him. Placing my hands behind my neck, I grip it tightly, hoping it might release some of the tension. I step back slowly, turning to see a group of onlookers. Their faces shocked, but their heads drop the minute I walk toward them. They scatter quickly, and I head into the store, pulling out my cell phone. I scroll through, dialing the number when I see it. I hold the cell phone to my ear, grabbing a basket and filling it with anything I think we might need.
“Hello,” the voice blares through the receiver.
“I need your help, man,” I exhale loudly. “Things are fucked up between me and Pip.”
“She hates me, though, man; did you forget that small detail?”
“Marco, I’m serious…”
His voice quietens and has a tone of seriousness. “Okay, talk to me…”
Kailee
It’s late afternoon before Ryder texts again. Thankfully, my day at school passed quickly, and as the three of us emerge from school, I notice the car parked right outside the main school entrance.
“Looks like you have a ride, girl.” Lina nudges my arm like I hadn’t already seen him.
I smile widely at her. “Looks that way.”
“Are you sure you want to go with him? If you need to buy more time, you can always stay with me tonight,” Lina offers.
“I’m good. I have to face him,” I say with a gulp.
“You really do have feelings for him, don’t you?” Lina asks, her eyes narrowed and a grin tugging at her lips.
“I just hope things can work between us. A relationship, at my age, wasn’t something I’d planned on. But neither was meeting him.” I lean in, kissing them both on the cheek before walking over to the car. He leans across the seat, pushing open the door.
“Get in,” he orders, adjusting his position until he’s back in behind the wheel. I slide in, closing the door behind me. Everything about him hits me the second I close the door — his musky smell of aftershave mixed with cigarettes — and I can’t help but inhale deeply. I rest my schoolbag on my knee, pushing my hands underneath my legs. I pull my lips between my teeth, and a nervous energy flows through me as I allow my eyes to glance at him. His face is hardened, black circles are under his eyes, and he looks sad. Like really sad, miserable even. A pang of guilt hits me, and I can’t hold back.
“You look a mess,” I blurt out. His head turns quickly, and his dark, narrowed eyes meet mine.
“Not the first to fucking tell me that,” he drawls. “I saw that sorry assed motherfucker today.” His stare is fixed on me, and I can’t help but feel a flush of heat rush through me. He’s making me so damn nervous. His whole dark expression, his demeanor — it’s somehow different to how he’s been before.
“Who?” I ask, my voice hoarse and forced.
“Jax,” he growls. “If he wasn’t my brother, I’d have no trouble putting a fucking bullet in that asshole’s skull.”
“What is it, Ryder? What did he say to you?”
“The piece of shit was fucking high and stunk of alcohol. He practically admitted that he was the one behind the whole ‘pregnancy’ bullshit.”
“How?” I ask, confused as hell.
“He put her up to it. I just know it.”
“What? He said that?” I screech. “Because that is beyond messed up.”
“So we’re having this out. Once and for all. Marco is expecting us. And, yeah, I get you’re not his biggest fan, but he’s arranged for her to be there, and I intend to get to the fucking bottom of this.”
“I don’t want any trouble, Ryder. Promise me.”
He exhales loudly, and his shoulders sag. “Don’t make promises I can’t keep,” he says with a loose shake of his head.
“If what Jax insinuated is true, it’s not the girl’s fault. Jax is manipulative and a great liar,” I say with a lift of my brow. “I should know…”
“Best behavior.” He holds up two fingers against his forehead. “Scouts fucking honor.”
I laugh. “I’m pretty sure the scouts wouldn’t approve of you cussing.” I widen my eyes and watch as his face softens into a laugh.
“Fuck.” He exhales a deep breath as though he’s been holding it for the longest time. “I’ve missed you. I hated not having you with me.”
“So much has happened, Ryder. So much shit has been thrown at me, so many feelings I’ve never had to deal with before. I was confused. I needed time to process everything.” I place my palm against his upper thigh. “I’m sorry.”
“No, I’m sorry. So fucking sorry that my stupid decisions have caused all this bullshit. I feel like I have to constantly prove that I’m not that guy. Not that murderous criminal you think I am, deep down in the back of your mind. I’m not saying I haven’t done bad things. Because, fuck, I have. I bet most of the rumors you heard about me and my brother are true. But that’s not me anymore. I don’t want to be that version of me when I’m with you. It’s like I was fighting my way through life, not knowing what fucking part of me was missing. And that’s you. I was missing my heart, and then I found you. You gave me something I’d never fucking experienced. Feelings I didn’t even know existed, feelings that made every other feeling pale in comparison.”
I sit, desperate to reply, to say something. But I’m at a loss for words. The man who told me he doesn’t do romantic gestures just declared how much I mean to him.
“Fuck, Pip, say something. Don’t leave me here hanging.” His eyes bore into me, and I do the only thing I can because words won’t express the way his declaration has affected me. I grab his hand and press his palm flat against the thudding in my chest, against the ferocious beat of my heart.
“This is because of you,” I whisper. “Only you, Ryder.”
“Good because you’re mine. Even before you realized it.” I let my eyes flutter shut, his hands roam from my chest up to my neck as he clutches and pulls me toward him. Our breaths are ragged, and I let my head fall forward, resting against his. My tummy flutters, and my heart swells as he presses his lips against mine. I’ve had nothing but sadness in my life since my mom died, but Ryder has finally given me hope I can be happy, despite all that has happened.
Ryder
We pull up outside the strip club, and the sweat on my brow multiplies by the second. I have to get this girl to own up, to let Kailee know it’s all lies. I’d called ahead letting Marco know that we were coming, and most of all, to check that the girl behind the bar would be there too.
“Follow me, Pip.” I grab her wrist and drag her behind me. I stop at the door; the security guys dip their head a little before letting us in without so much of a word.
“Regular here then?” Kailee asks, tugging on my hand a little.
“Not anymore.” I grin widely, Kailee casts her gaze around the room, taking in the cheap and tacky décor. The whole place smells of cigars and sex. In fact, it reeks of it.
“Tasteful,” she mutters, and I shake my head, a small laugh escaping me. We walk through into the main room where girls are already working the pole.
“Let’s find Marco,” I say, squeezing her hand gently as we stalk across the main room and over to the back office. I knock on the door three times, pressing my ear against it to wait for his response.
“Come in,” he yells. Pushing the door open, I step through and see him in a large leather chair, his feet resting on the dark wooden desk.
“Ryder, man, am I glad to see you.” He exhales loudly. I stand and watch how he drops his feet to the floor, stepping out and around from his desk. I pull Kailee close, resting her back against my chest as I lean my full weight against the wall.
“Shit is happening.” He sighs heavily, rolling his eyes. “But first, let’s sort out this whole bullshit story Nicole has been spouting.” He reaches over, picking up the handset of the desk phone. Punching in a few numbers, he rests it between his ear and s
houlder.
“Send her in,” he demands before dropping the receiver back down.
“Okay,” he says with a nod. “I don’t fucking know why she would say what she’s said, but let’s keep it nonphysical,” he says warily. He signals for us to move closer. I make my way around the desk, standing beside Marco.
“Goes without saying, so sit down and shut the fuck up.” I grin at him. I rest my hands on Kailee’s waist, moving her slightly to the side. Blocking her from the entrance, I protect her with my body.
Floorboards creak as the sound of footsteps intensifies. A sudden knock on the door before it opens, and the girl steps in. Immediately, her eyes are wide, and she turns back to the door, trying to make her escape.
“Nicole,” Marco bellows. The security guy she came with is standing in front of the door, and honestly, he’s the size of the door. I’m not sure even I would try to get past him. “Take a seat,” Marco instructs kindly. Her eyes flicker back and forth between us standing against the wall and Marco.
“W-w-what’s this about?” she asks with a stutter, slowly sliding into the seat opposite Marco.
“You know exactly what this is about,” I growl, stepping forward and resting my hands flat against the desk. “My brother. He made you do this, right?”
“No,” she chokes out. “It’s true. I really am pregnant.” She starts to sob quietly with her hands covering her face.
“It’s not fucking possible,” I say, lifting my hand and slamming my clenched fist down on the desk. She jumps, covering her face completely with her hands. Marco’s hand lands heavily on my chest, trying to push me back and away.
“Just back up, buddy,” he says.
I let out a huge huff but do as he says.
“Sweetheart, speak to me. Has he threatened you? Did Jax do something to frighten you into saying this?” I can tell he’s trying the soft approach, which is the opposite of my style. I want to reach over and shake some sense into the stupid girl. Make her tell us the truth.
The edge of forever: A Blackhearts twins novel (Book two) Page 13
