by Becky Monson
“Well, ladies, I guess we should get used to this,” Patti says, sitting tiredly in the chair.
“You think?” I ask.
“I think this is just the beginning,” she says with a wink.
Just the beginning. Maybe even a new beginning? I guess time will tell.
CHAPTER 28
Anna is finally home. Finally! In fact, she’s coming over right now so we can hang out. To my utter delight and benefit, Jonathon will be working late hours at the firm to make up for all the billable hours he missed while they were on their honeymoon. That means Anna has nothing to do but have sister time with me. Well, I’m sure she thinks she has other things to do, but I have a pan of hot, just-out-of-the-oven brownies that will convince her otherwise.
It will be so great to have her back. I have so much to tell her, so much to talk about. And I’m sure she will have so much to tell me as well.
I have to tell her about Jared, and also Paul. It turns out Lia’s tall, dark, and handsome stranger dream was not far off. She just didn’t realize that he was not a stranger to me.
Just before I locked up the bakery last Friday, Paul stopped by to see if I was free to have lunch with him the next day. I agreed, but on the condition that it wasn’t a date. He didn’t know that I had broken up with Jared, and I didn’t want him to know.
The lunch was nice. Paul is charming and funny and very handsome (okay, very, very handsome). But he has one big fault. He sniffs his nose way too much. Okay, he does do that, but that wasn’t his big fault. The biggest fault is he’s not Jared. And I’m just not ready to be with anyone else. Not now. And if I keep feeling the way I do, not ever. I hope Anna can talk some sense into me.
There’s a knock at my door and I run to open it. Anna is standing there looking happy and tan. The cruise they took for their honeymoon must have been a good one. I can’t wait to hear all the details. Well, not all the details.
“You made brownies,” she says, her eyes widening with delight as the chocolate aroma spills out into the hallway.
“Yes, I did. Want some?”
“Yes, I do,” she says as she walks into the apartment.
We grab brownies and milk and sit down on the couch. It’s just like old times, and I’ve needed these old times so very badly.
“So how was the honeymoon?” I ask and then take a big bite of brownie.
“So amazing,” she says and then goes on to tell me about the cruise and the food and the ports they stopped in. It sounds like the perfect honeymoon. I find myself feeling envious that I couldn’t be there. But it was her honeymoon, so that would have been awkward.
“So how about you?” she asks when she’s done telling me about her trip. “I saw that you won Cupcake Battles.” She smiles brightly.
“You saw it already?”
“Yep, Jonathon and I watched it on the DVR as soon as we got home.” She gets up and walks to the kitchen to get herself another brownie. “Want one?” she asks before coming back.
“No, thanks,” I say. The one brownie was pushing it. My stomach is in knots. I nibble my bottom lip like I usually do when I get nervous. I just want to talk about Jared. I’m about to pop.
“What are you going to do with the ten grand you won?” she asks as she plops herself down on the couch, brownie in hand.
“Probably just funnel it back into the bakery,” I say.
“That’s boring,” she declares.
“Well, that’s what you do when you own a business.” I give her a little smirk.
“How’s Jared?” Anna asks.
Impeccable timing, I was just going to bring him up, only because I couldn’t hold it in any longer.
“Actually, we broke up,” I say, searching her face for a response.
“WHAT?” She exclaims loudly. “You broke up?” She sets the brownie down on the coffee table. Apparently, this bit of information is more important than food. “How? When?”
So I tell her. I tell her about how he took the job in New York, and how he didn’t telling me until after the fact. Then I tell her about how things went downhill after he left, and about Kirsten, and then how I cut things off at her rehearsal dinner.
“You broke up with Jared at the rehearsal dinner?” she asks, looking confused, as if she’s trying to remember everything about that night and putting the pieces together.
“Yes, that is why I stupidly drank and then, you know . . . ” I say, motioning with my hand that she knows very well what happened that night.
“Right,” she shakes her head, recalling.
“Julia,” she angles her body toward me, taking both of my hands in hers. Here it comes, the part where she tells me I did the right thing. “I say this with the most love I can give you as a sister, but, are you a complete idiot?”
“Huh?” That was not what I was expecting her to say. I pull my hands out of hers. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, are you a complete and total idiot?” Her voice gets a little louder. “Julia, has Jared ever been mean to you or treated you badly?”
“No. Why are you asking me that?” I scrunch my face, not sure where she’s going with this.
“I mean, besides moving away from you and not being totally forthcoming about it, which, come on—he had a point. He would have totally killed any chance of you winning Cupcake Battles if he had dropped that bomb on you then.” She tilts her head to the side, giving me a knowing glance.
“Yeah, I guess.” I really don’t guess. I know. It would have killed what little game I had.
“So then why would you throw away something so great with Jared, just because he moved away?” She looks like she wants to shake me.
I look at her and my breath gets heavy. Suddenly my face goes into my hands and the tears come quickly. In an instant, I’m literally sobbing, like, hysterically.
“Julia?” She reaches over and touches my trembling back. “You’re not an idiot. I mean, well, you sort of are. But I guess I didn’t mean to be so harsh.”
Wow. Anna should quit her day job and go into counseling. She would be amazing.
“No,” I say as I try to calm the tears, try to get my breathing back. “I’m just so, so glad you said that.”
“What? I’m confused,” she says. I pull my face out of my hands to see her looking at me oddly.
I shake my head. “I was so afraid you were going to tell me I did the right thing, and I really never felt like I did. I tried to convince myself, but I just couldn’t do it.”
“Then how did you get to the point that you even broke up with him in the first place?” She furrows her brow.
“Well, you said yourself that long-distance relationships are stupid and don’t work,” I say, recalling our conversation in the dressing room when she was trying on her wedding dress.
“Yeah, I didn’t mean it for you,” she says.
“But it wasn’t just you! Everyone was telling me the same thing. Patti, Google, Lia’s stupid cards . . .” I trail off, thinking of all the reasons I got to the breaking point.
“Lia?” she asks, no clue who I’m talking about.
“She’s a witch,” I say, as if she should know that.
“Huh?” She gives me a confused look.
I bat my hand around, dismissing the subject. “I’ll explain later.”
“Okay, so besides Google, when you were asking everyone about long-distance relationships, did you tell them you were talking about you and Jared? Or were you asking hypothetically like you did when you asked me?” I can tell by her know-it-all mug that she already knows the answer to this.
I don’t say anything. I’ve been such a fool.
“So what are you going to do?” she asks.
“I don’t know. I can’t just call him or send him an e-mail, can I?” I raise my eyebrows looking for her approval.
“Of course you can call him,” she says.
“Really? Shouldn’t it be a bigger gesture than that?”
“Oh, Julia, you watch too many chi
ck flicks,” she whacks me lightly on the arm. “Just call him. Do it right now.”
With shaky hands, I pick up my phone. I’m not sure what I’ll say when he answers, but I pray that it will come to me.
But he doesn’t answer. In fact, the phone never rings. It just goes straight to voicemail. I try again, but it goes directly to voicemail once more.
“Should I leave a message?” I ask Anna.
“No, don’t leave a message,” she says and I hang up quickly. “I’ve changed my mind. I think it needs to be big.”
“Really?” I ask. Anna is so confusing sometimes. “Okay, fine. What should I do?”
“I don’t know. I think we need reinforcements.” She pulls her phone out of her purse and starts texting.
Fifteen minutes later, there is a knock at my door.
“Julia, what have you done?” Brown says as she walks into the room. “Do I smell brownies?” Her eyes widen at the scent.
“Yes, do you want one?” I ask in vain, knowing fully well she will decline, like she always does.
“No. I ate way too much on my honeymoon. I’m just going to stand here and smell it for a second, though.” She inhales deeply.
“Julia needs help salvaging her relationship with Jared,” Anna says from the couch, once Brown has sniffed sufficiently. I’m surprised she wasn’t concerned that she would inhale the calories.
Brown and I join Anna on the couch and I let Anna explain everything that happened. Hearing her say it in her smart-alecky voice—annoying as it is—makes me realize all the more what an idiot I’ve been.
“Jules, how could you think that you would know if long distance would work after three weeks?” Brown asks, looking appalled.
“I know! I know! Geez you guys! I want to fix this. Help me fix this,” I plead to them with my hands.
“Just call him,” Brown says, picking up my phone from the coffee table and handing it to me.
“I’ve tried already. It went straight to voicemail,” I say. “Besides, Anna and I decided it needs to be bigger. I want him to know that I’m serious.”
“So what, then?” Brown asks, her eyes moving back and forth from Anna to me.
We sit there in silence, contemplating my choices, which are fairly limited at this point. Calling isn’t working and now feels too trivial. E-mailing would be a cop-out. What am I supposed to do? Send him a message that says, “Do you still love me?” with a box that says “Check yes or no.” I could send him flowers, but that just seems cheesy.
“I’ve got it,” I say, realizing what I should do and mentally slapping myself for not thinking of it sooner. I get up from the couch and go into my room to get my laptop computer. I come back and sit between Brown and Anna, who are both looking very skeptically at me. I don’t blame them. Left to my own devices, I do tend to make some stupid choices.
“Don’t leave us hanging here, Jules,” Brown says as I open the laptop and pull up the internet.
“You aren’t going to send him a singing telegram or something tacky like that,” Anna says, eyeing me with disapproval.
“No. I’m not doing anything like that,” I say as I type in the web address at the top.
“Then what are you going to do?” Anna asks, impatience in her tone.
“I’m going to fly there tonight and tell him myself,” I say, clicking on the travel site I had been looking for.
“Well,” Anna says, “Julia Dorning, I had no idea you had something like this in you.” I look over to see her smile admiringly.
“Nice one, Jules,” Brown says, agreeing with Anna.
We sit on the couch and search for flights. As it turns out, all of the flights are booked until tomorrow afternoon, so my crazy out-of-character trip will have to wait until then. But I don’t care. I’m doing this no matter what.
“What are you going to do when you get there?” Brown asks as I click the last button, finalizing my trip to New York.
“Oh,” I say, sitting back against the couch. I look back and forth between the two of them. “I hadn’t thought of that.” My eyes start to dart around as new and scary thoughts dawn on me.
Crap. I didn’t think this through. I just had this romantic notion and ran with it, not even thinking what I’d do once I got there. I have no idea where Jared lives or whether he’ll even answer the phone. I don’t even know what he’s been up to. Who knows? He might already be dating someone since we broke up. That Kirsten tramp probably hopped right on into his life.
Oh, gosh.
“Julia,” Anna puts a hand on my arm in an attempt to steady the panic that is rising in my body. “Don’t get caught up in all of the details.”
“Yeah, that’s how you got yourself into this mess in the first place,” Brown adds.
Nice.
“Everything will work out how it’s supposed to. But you have to try, right?” Anna says, looking me in the eyes.
“Yes, I know I have to try,” I say, feeling a little less apprehensive.
And try I will.
CHAPTER 29
“You are dumber than a billy goat,” Patti declares after I finally tell her and Debbie what actually transpired between Jared and me.
Debbie nods her head, agreeing with Patti.
“I know, that’s why I have to fly out there and fix it,” I say for like the fiftieth time.
“You betcha do,” Patti says and then clicks her tongue curtly.
Can’t anyone give me a little credit here? I mean, yes, I did screw it up. I did get carried away with my own brain. But I’ve realized the error of my ways, and now I’m going to fix it. Well, hopefully.
Oh, gosh.
No, I’m going to push the negativity out and focus on the positive. I will not picture myself wandering around Manhattan, bawling my eyes out when I find out I’m too late. I will not go there. I want a chick flick ending here, not a drama flick.
It worked out well that I couldn’t fly out until this afternoon because I’d have left Patti and Debbie in a real bind had I just up and left last night. The bakery has been busy—probably too busy—for just the two of them. I’ll be here to help today, and then I’ve called Beth to come and help out tomorrow. My bakery will be in good hands. At least I won’t have to worry about that part.
The morning rush takes off with a bang, with many more customers than our normal Thursday rush. Cupcake Battles has definitely been beneficial. I’m grateful for the busy day, as it has been a welcome distraction from all the thoughts filtering through my mind.
“Julia,” Lia greets me in her sweet and sickly voice, as she comes up to the counter. Great, just what I needed right now. “Your aura,” she says, pointing above my head. I look up instinctively, but realize that I can’t see my own aura. Actually, I can’t see anyone’s aura.
“What about it?” I ask and then silently pray that she won’t tell me some prophetic thing about how my aura says I’m taking a journey and it will be a waste of time and/or I will die.
“You look hopeful,” she says, sounding as if she can’t believe that’s possible. “It’s not the muddied blue one you have been carrying around for weeks.”
“Oh,” I say, not expecting that. “I guess you’re right. I’m hopeful.” I give her a smile and then quickly ask for her order. I don’t want to hear any more of what she might be seeing. I prefer to be surprised.
Like breakfast, the lunch rush is super busy. Again, another welcome distraction. As the clock ticks closer to the time I need to head to the airport, the butterflies start multiplying. I’m not sure I can do this, but I know I must.
Around two, the bakery starts to empty of customers and it’s time for me to get my bags and go to meet my fate with Jared. My flight doesn’t leave for a few hours yet, but I need to take a shuttle and I don’t want to risk missing the flight. I need to be in New York tonight. I need to see Jared, and I need to make things right.
I grab my carry-on from my office and tell Patti that I’ll see her on Monday.
“
Good luck, darlin’,” she says with a wink. Apparently, she has forgiven me for my billy-goat-like stupidity.
“Thanks,” I say as I open the kitchen door, walking out to the front of the bakery.
Except for a few stragglers, it’s fairly empty of people. At least I can feel good that Patti and Debbie won’t have much to do for the rest of the day except clean and lock up.
I realize before I leave that I should double check that I have my license. As I’m searching through my purse, the bells on the door sound as someone comes in.
I look up. It’s Jared. Jared is in my bakery.
“Hi,” he says as he sees me.
“Hi,” I say back. I’m so confused right now. “What are you doing here?” I ask, not in an accusatory way, more like a non-believing way. What is he doing here?
“Well,” he says, taking two steps toward me to lessen the gap between us. “I flew here to talk some sense into you.”
“Jared, I—”
“Before you say anything, just hear me out,” he says, holding up a hand as he cuts me off.
“Okay,” I concede, swallowing hard.
“Listen, I know you think that we can’t make this work, but you’re wrong—”
“Jared, I—”
“Please, just let me finish,” he cuts me off again. “Julia, I love you. I’ve been miserable without you. I’m not going to lose you over some distance between us, and so I’ll move back if that’s what I have to do.”
“Jared,” I shake my head, “you can’t move back for me. I—”
“Yes, I can,” he cuts me off again. “I need you in my life.” My mind flashes back to the last time Jared said those exact words to me. It seems like so long ago, but it’s been less than a year.
He looks me up and down, searching me. Then his eyes catch on something, and his brow furrows. “What’s the suitcase for?” He dips his chin, gesturing to the carry-on that is slightly hidden behind me.
