by Mia Carson
She turned her head and brushed her lips against mine, a barely-there kiss that left me wanting more all over again. “I love you, too.”
Annie
I woke up feeling happier and more sated than I could ever remember being over the past two years. Early morning sunlight streamed through the window and over my face, which pulled me from a pleasant, drunk slumber with a tiny smile on my face.
Zach was a warm and solid weight against my back, one arm around my waist. I rolled over to face him, eyes barely open, and snuggled in closer. He grunted and tightened the grip he had on my waist. His breathing had quickened, and when I kissed his chin, he opened his eyes enough that I could see a hint of blue as he smiled at me.
“Hey,” he rasped. The hand now on my back began to rub the base of my spine.
“Morning,” I replied. Zach sighed and let his chin rest on top of my head. I pressed my face into his neck and inhaled the scent of his night sweat. I had a small headache forming behind my eyes, but it wasn't anything a bit more sleep or some water and pills wouldn't fix. I sighed and said, “I just want to stay in bed all day.”
Zach's chest shook in a quiet chuckle. “Yeah, that'd be nice, but I think our parents would have something to say about that.”
“Do you think we should tell them?” I asked. “About us.”
“I don't know,” Zach replied. “We haven't done anything wrong, but…it's complicated.”
I knew that well. I also knew it was a subject neither of us wanted to think about. But it was a pressing one, and I knew also that if we wanted to continue with this, we needed to be honest with Mom and Evan about it. Hiding it would only cause more pain. Unwilling to let him go, I cuddled into his chest, slipping my bare legs between and around his.
“We need to tell them,” I said. He grunted, which I took for an agreement. “But we'll do it together, okay?”
“Wouldn't it just be easier to wait until after the vacation?”
“You mean after they've had two weeks alone together? Yeah, that sounds like a great idea.”
Zach snorted. His hand stroked up my spine, and despite my best efforts, it was putting me back to sleep. “Sorry. It's just not a pleasant thing to think about. I'd much rather focus on this, on you here, on the fact that we're alone. Those condoms are just on the other side of you, you know...”
I sighed and rolled onto my back, pulling him on top of me. He settled between my hips, braced on his forearms, and kissed me softly. He had morning breath that smelled like beer, but as long as his lips were on mine, it didn't matter. Besides, I doubted mine smelled much better.
One of his arms stretched out, reaching for the long strip of condom packets he had dropped the night before, trying to get them without having to break our kiss. His weight shifted so much that he nearly fell off the bed. Laughing, I turned my head to the side, evading his lips until he grabbed the condoms and ripped one off, leaving the others on the floor again. He held it in one hand and returned to kissing me, slow and deep. I forgot about telling our parents.
There was just enough space between our bodies for me to slip my hand down and wrap my fingers around his length. Touching a dick had always been a funny experience, but the sounds Zach made and the looks on his face made it less humorous and more arousing. He hardened in my hand, thrusting against my palm. I kissed him, tugging on his lip, and angled my legs wider to accept him. He paused only to roll the condom on and check that I was wet enough for him. I was more than ready and more than willing.
I bit back a groan when he entered me and matched his slow, easy rhythm with rolls of my hips. It didn't matter that across the hall, our parents were probably still asleep in the same bed, or that at some point we would have to tell them the nature of our relationship. All I cared about was how Zach felt inside me, the gentle pressure and the brushes of contact against my clit when our bodies met.
None of the drunken desperation I remembered from the previous night existed this morning, but it was just as passionate, and when my peak came it was just as satisfying.
We lay in bed for a while after, stuck in that limbo between sleep and wakefulness, until finally, the sunlight grew too bright and it was time to get up and face the day. We dressed between kisses, then stepped out into the hall to meet our blissfully unaware parents and find out the plan for the day.
We tried to find a time to tell Mom and Evan about our relationship, both past and present, but a moment never presented itself. At breakfast, there wasn't a big enough gap in conversation, and then Mom left to go to the pool and Evan soon after. There were too many people at the pool to risk saying anything. Then it was one of them never being in the same place as the other. It was a frustrating back and forth that caused a new tension between Zach and me. All I wanted to do was hold his hand without one of our parents seeing us and wondering what we were doing. When we swam in the pool, I wanted the games we played to be less restrained. I wanted to take stupid selfies to share on Facebook when we got home.
It was a different world when we were alone in our cabin. Zach certainly got his money's worth for whatever he spent on those condoms. There was no more sleeping in separate bunks. No more shyness. I openly watched him dress, and he did the same to me. We didn't go so far as to shower together, just in case one of our parents decided to come knocking, but we did plenty of other things when the lights went out. It was useful for relieving some of the stress on our new relationship. I really had forgiven him, and I think he figured it out for good the third time we slept together. If everything went to shit, he would know there were no hard feelings.
One of the stops on our trip was Nassau. Zach was particularly interested in Nassau, rambling off information about how it had once been the most notorious pirate haven in the Caribbean. There was a museum there to attest to the fact, and plenty of other pirate-themed attractions.
Our parents decided to drop the bomb on us while we were there. We had elected to have an early dinner at a nice restaurant near where the ship was docked. It was nice to eat off the ship, even though there was a curfew. It was nice not to have to dress up for once, too.
Evan stood during dessert and got down on one knee with a box suddenly appearing in his hand. I nearly choked on my food, and Zach dribbled water down his chin. I gripped his thigh tightly under the table.
“Donna Newell,” Evan said, “I've never met a woman quite like you, and I've had some shit luck, but I have a really good feeling about you. I know it's kind of soon, but I'm not getting any younger, and I just wanted to know... Will you marry me?”
Mom had tears in her eyes. Her happiness should have been infectious, but all I felt was a keen sense of horror deep in my chest. I glanced at Zach. His face, which had gained a healthy tan from the amount of hot sun we'd enjoyed, had paled. I probably looked the same. Neither of our parents noticed. Mom was crying openly. The people around our table were applauding. I had to admit, the ring looked amazing on her finger, as if it was made for her. Unfortunately, Zach and I had a bigger problem. Unless something catastrophic happened between now and when we got home, the two of us were going to be stepsiblings.
“I need a drink,” Zach mumbled through the fake smile on his face.
“Ditto to that,” I replied. “Fucking ditto to that.”
Back in our room, we sat on the lower bunk with the TV on to keep the silence between us from being completely uncomfortable. It was playing the same black and white movie we'd seen at least three times since the start of the trip, but it was familiar and easier to follow than to think about how the hell we were going to deal with the fact that our parents had decided to get married. He had his arm around my shoulders, pulling me against his side and chest. In fact, he hadn't let go of me since we'd said goodnight to Mom and Evan and retreated to the safety of our cabin. Neither of us had spoken since we got back. I don't think he could think of anything anymore than I could. The solution was deceptively simple—do what we'd been trying to do for days
, which was tell our parents we were a thing. The method to reach that solution was considerably more complicated.
“Maybe it's best to just...do it,” Zach said finally, breaking the quiet between us. “You know, like ripping off a Band-Aid. We're both grown adults. What are they going to do about it?”
“Nothing,” I conceded, “but I know your relationship with your dad is just as important as mine is with my mom. I don't want to jeopardize that.”
“Well, what's the other choice?” Zach asked. “Just stop? Pretend nothing happened? I know we won't have to live together, but we're going to be family. We'll be seeing each other all the time. Can you do that? Because I can't.”
He was right. I couldn't do that. It would eat me up inside. As much as I loved my mom, my love for Zach was just as important, as different as the two were.
“What do you think they'll say?” I asked.
Zach shrugged. “They might not say anything. It's not like they set this up on purpose. Neither of us told them we used to date, and that's on us. But… I mean, maybe it won't matter. Our lives have been messed up enough as it is with the divorces and the cheating and . . .you know, all that. What's one more slightly messed up thing? I don't know about you, but I don't have a whole extended family to be all disapproving of us.”
“I don't either,” I replied. “Just a couple aunts who live on the other side of the country. We only see them once a year.”
“So, the Band-Aid method?” Zach asked.
I sighed and turned my head into his shoulder, inhaling the scent of his shirt and skin. “Yeah,” I said. “The Band-Aid method.”
He raised his hand to stroke my hair, loose around my shoulders now that we were alone, and kissed the top of my head. “It's gonna be okay, Annie,” he said. His words weren't very reassuring, but I appreciated hearing them, regardless. “I love you.”
“I love you, too.” I sighed again.
Zach shifted around and guided me into laying down, sandwiched between him and the wall with my head on his shoulder and his arm around my waist. I slung my legs over his. I could see the TV but still cuddle close. Zach propped his head up on his arm. For a while, we did nothing but watch the movie, an old comedy, but not one I'd heard of before the cruise. It had been funny the first time. Now, the jokes were old from hearing them too often.
“I am so sick of this movie,” I said. Zach laughed, a proper laugh that made his whole body shake, and jostled me so much that I sat up to look down at him, confused. “What? What's so funny?”
“I don't know,” Zach replied, wiping tears from the corners of his eyes. “It's just… I am, too. Maybe it's the stress.” He drew in a wheezing breath and shook his head. When he calmed down, I settled again.
Zach picked up the remote for the TV from the floor, left there forgotten the previous night when we were thoroughly distracted by each other's bodies. He flicked over the few channels. I still thought the selection was decent considering we were on a ship. Zach paused on the weather and listened until the report restarted, then went back to flipping. The movie was almost over, and the next one would be a newer drama. On the fourth round of surfing I put my hand over his.
“Turn on the music,” I said softly, “and just hold me for a while. We'll deal with this whole mess tomorrow, okay?” Zach sighed heavily, but did what I asked. He put the remote back on the floor, then wriggled out of his shirt to sleep. I tugged the blanket up over us and laid my hand on his stomach, gently stroking the line of peach fuzz that ran down the middle. “We'll tell them at breakfast,” I continued. “Just short and sweet. It's the best way to do it.”
“Okay,” Zach agreed. He kissed my head and gave my shoulders a squeeze. His body relaxed, and it wasn't long before he fell asleep. I wasn't awake for long afterwards, but I don't think his sleep was any more restful than mine. It had been a long time since stress had kept me awake, and I hadn't missed the constant tossing and turning and the weird dreams that woke me up every few hours, leaving me groggy and disorientated. At least I had Zach, my solid rock, holding me the entire night despite our difficulties sleeping.
Morning came quicker than either of us wanted. The sunlight woke me up, as always. He let out a frustrated groan. I reached for his wrist and squinted through bleary, sleep-blurred eyes at the time on his watch. It wasn't as early as I thought. No time for sleeping in then.
The more awake I became, the more nervous I grew. I dressed while Zach was in the shower, trying not to obsess over the little things like how my shirt looked or how I couldn't get my ponytail to hang right. I was still messing around with the latter when Zach finished showering and came out of the bathroom in his boxers. There were shadows under his eyes.
“Just leave it down,” he said gently. “It looks better that way.”
I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose, turning around to lean against the dresser. My thumbs pressed into the corners of my eyes. “I'm sorry. I'm just—”
“Stressed. I know.” Zach took my hands and rubbed my knuckles, offering me a small, comforting smile. “It'll be okay,” he said. “I don't think they'll freak out, but if they do, well... The trip will be over soon, and we can deal with everything then if we have to. Okay? One step at a time.”
“You know I'm bad at that,” I said.
“I know you are,” Zach replied through a tiny chuckle. “But try, okay? For me?”
“Okay,” I replied, and managed a small smile for him. He flicked my chin with the side of his knuckle and leaned down to give me a soft, lingering kiss. I savored every second of it, not knowing for sure when I would be able to get another. “Finish getting dressed,” I told him, my lips moving against his as I spoke. “I want to get this over with.”
“Yes, boss,” Zach replied.
I turned away from him and pulled my hair tie out of my hair, leaving it around my wrist. I still wasn't happy about my hair, but it was just my nerves making me jittery. I almost jumped when someone knocked on our door. Zach paused with his shirt half over his head and quickly tugged it down his stomach before I answered the knock. Mom stood on the other side, looking bright and cheerful and well-rested—everything I wasn't.
“Good morning, sleepyhead!” she said and ruffled my hair. I grunted and pulled my head away. “Someone didn't sleep well. Are you going to come up for breakfast or do you want to go back to sleep?”
“We're coming,” I replied.
Zach came up behind me. He handed me my purse. I checked my key was still in it before leaving the room with him behind me. Evan popped out of his and Mom's room a couple seconds later. He smiled at both of us, looking just as happy as Mom, and together, we headed to the dining room to eat. Zach and I shuffled our feet, stress and sleepiness weighing heavily on our shoulders. Every now and then, Zach touched the small of my back, just a little bump of his knuckles to reassure me he was still there.
We walked ourselves to our table and sat down. Zach and I ordered juice, our parents, coffee. Mom wouldn't stop staring at me. She knew something was wrong. From the looks she kept giving Zach, I think she'd picked up on his mood as well.
She reached across the table to touch my hand where it was lightly curled around my glass of juice. “You okay, sweetie?”
I glanced at Zach, who nodded slightly, then sighed and shook my head. “There's something we need to tell you,” I said. My words instantly had our parents' full attention.
“Go ahead,” Mom said.
I opened my mouth, trying to think of the words to say but floundering. Zach came to my rescue. He took my free hand in his and put them plainly on the table for our parents to see. His jaw was tight, and his throat worked hard as he swallowed, but at least he could talk.
“We didn't tell you before, but Annie and I knew each other in school,” he said. “We dated. It was really serious. Dad, I know I told you about the girl, but I never told you who. Well, now you know. And we...” He paused and took a deep breath. “I love her. And I know
that makes all of this even more awkward than it already is, but that's just how it is, and nothing's going to change that, not even you two getting married. So if it's a problem, go ahead and tell us now, because I'm letting you know that I'm not going to give Annie up without a fight.”
My heart thudded so hard I could barely breathe. Our parents looked at us, then looked at each other, then grinned and laughed. My anxiety was replaced by confusion.
“What?” I asked. “What's so funny?”
“Oh, sweetie,” Mom said, shaking her head and patting my hand. “Did you think we didn't know? We're your parents. We always know things like that, no matter how subtle you think you're being. We were just waiting for you two to tell us.”
“So, it's not... You don't mind?” I asked.
Evan shook his head. “Zach never told me who you were, but I saw him when he was with you and how he was after. Anyone who can make my son that happy is okay in my book, no matter who they are.”
“Same here,” Mom said. “We just want you two to be happy.”
“But… we're—” I stuttered, words tumbling out of my mouth and tripping on my tongue.
“Have a drink, hon,” Mom said. “I know you're worried because Evan and I are getting married—which was a surprise, thank you very much—but you don't need to be. We'll figure everything out as we go. Now, will you two stop sneaking around being miserable and enjoy the rest of the vacation we paid to bring you on?”
“I paid,” Evan said.
“Details,” Mom replied. She let go of my hand and sipped her coffee.
For a few painful seconds my mind was completely blank, and then I felt a smile growing on my face. I saw it mirrored on Zach's. I started laughing and couldn't stop. People around us gave us funny looks, but I didn't care. I never thought this was the direction my life would take me, but God, would it be a story to tell my kids one day—if Zach and I decided we wanted them. Neither of us were keen on sharing the kiss we wanted in front of our parents, even though they didn't care that we were together, but the hug we shared meant more than any kiss ever could.
