I turned around, involuntarily, just in case someone had something to say. But they didn’t. Quickly I faced front again.
Roger smiled at me. “Anthony and Jessica, the vows you are about to take are to be made in the name of God, who is judge of all and who knows all the secrets of our hearts: therefore if either of you knows a reason why you may not lawfully marry, you must declare it now.”
I gulped, and Anthony winked at me.
“Great!” Roger said. “Well, it’s always a relief when we get that bit over with, isn’t it?” There was a murmur of laughter from the congregation. “And now for the important bit. Anthony, will you take Jessica to be your wife? Will you love her, comfort her, honor and protect her, and, forsaking all others, be faithful to her as long as you both shall live?”
“I will,” Anthony said seriously. “Definitely.”
There was another little murmur of laughter. Then Roger turned to me. “Jessica, will you take Anthony to be your husband? Will you love him, comfort him, honor and protect him, and, forsaking all others, be faithful to him as long as you both shall live?”
He smiled at me encouragingly. I forced myself to smile back. “I…I…” I could hear voices in my head—Grace, telling me about the importance of real love, Helen yelling Deal or No Deal, Ivana shouting Jessica Wiiiiild.
“Stage fright,” Roger said, beaming at the congregation. “Happens all the time.” He looked back at me and smiled again. “As long as you both shall live?” he prompted.
“I…” I took a deep breath. I had to do this. For Grace. I owed her. I forced myself to think about how she’d placed her trust in me, forced myself to picture the house I was going to inherit, the house I had to protect, the house that…Suddenly I frowned. The house. I’d seen it somewhere else. I racked my brain but drew a blank.
“Jess?” Anthony asked. “Are you okay?”
I nodded and swallowed awkwardly. “I…,” I said, then stopped. I knew where I’d seen it. On Anthony’s desk. The photograph. The house he’d been looking at, the photograph Fenella picked up. It was Grace’s house. I was sure of it.
I looked at him uncertainly.
“The picture on your desk,” I whispered, my voice slightly strangled. “It was Grace’s house.”
Roger cleared his throat. “As long as you…,” he started to say again, but I waved him aside.
“The house,” I demanded. “Tell me about the house.”
Anthony frowned. “Grace’s house? I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he whispered, smiling strangely at me. “I don’t even know who Grace is. Jess, we’re getting married, darling. Can’t this wait?”
I thought for a moment. He was probably right. I was imagining things. There were lots of houses like that in the country. I was just looking for an excuse to stall. “Sure,” I said. “Sure, it can wait.”
“Atta girl.” Anthony winked. “Sorry, Vic,” he said, turning to the congregation to give them a wry smile. “Just a little disagreement over the flowers. All sorted now.”
There was a low level of laughter and Roger turned to me again.
“Okay, then,” he said, grinning broadly. “Jessica, will you take Anthony to be your husband? Will you love him, comfort him, honor and protect him, and, forsaking all others, be faithful to him as long as you both shall live?”
I looked up at him, then at Anthony.
“I…,” I started; then my eyes caught Max’s. He was staring at me intently, and I felt brittle suddenly, like I might crack down the middle. I didn’t love Anthony. And suddenly I knew that this wasn’t what Grace would have wanted—she wanted me to fall in love and be happy, not to marry someone just to inherit her estate. And it wasn’t what I wanted, either. Not at all. I didn’t care if it made me a ridiculous romantic; I didn’t care if Grandma would roll her eyes and say, I knew it, I knew you’d cave eventually. I was in love with Max, and even if he wasn’t in love with me, I couldn’t marry Anthony, not for all the money in the world.
I looked back at Anthony. Then I took a deep breath. “No deal.”
“No deal?” Roger was looking at me uncertainly now. “What do you mean?”
“I mean no deal,” I heard myself say. “I mean I’m not doing this. I’m not getting married.”
Chapter 31
THE GREAT THING about films is that something dramatic can happen—let’s say, Hugh Grant gets punched at the altar—and then the scene cuts and the next thing you know, he’s back in the safety of someone’s house being comforted by his friends. In real life the dramatic event happens and moments later you’re still standing there as people stare at you, incredulously. At least Anthony and Roger were staring at me, and I kind of assumed everyone else was, too. I felt myself getting hot and my cheap wedding dress felt like it was made out of thistles.
“You can’t?” Roger asked eventually, and I nodded. Now that I’d actually said it, I felt strangely detached, like this was all happening to someone else.
“Of course she can,” Anthony said, the irritation evident in his voice.
“No, I can’t,” I said firmly.
“Then perhaps you’d better come around the back,” Roger said. “I think we need to talk, don’t you?”
Gratefully, I nodded; Roger turned to the congregation. “Slight hitch,” he said, grinning warmly. “Just need to clarify one or two things, then we’ll be right back with you.”
Silently, I followed him. I felt like I was wading through marshmallow as I walked; it seemed to take forever. Anthony walked ahead of me, quickly, his shoulders tense; behind him was Max.
“Right,” Roger said, opening the door to the crypt and waiting for us to follow him in. “Why exactly can’t you do this?”
There was a chair near the wall and I headed for it, then sat down. “Because I’m not in love with Anthony,” I said quietly. “And he’s not in love with me. He’s in love with Jessica Wiiild.”
Anthony stared at me. “But you’re Jessica Wild,” he said uncertainly.
“No, I’m Jess,” I said, suddenly feeling very calm. “The girl you fell in love with was fabricated. She doesn’t exist. Sean, her ex-boyfriend, doesn’t exist. Just me. Just Jess.”
Anthony’s face crumpled in confusion, and he put his hand through his hair. “Okay,” he said, taking a deep breath. “Look, Jess, I don’t know what’s going on. Maybe you need to see a shrink. Maybe you’ve got multiple personalities or something. But let’s just get the wedding over and done with, shall we? Then we’ll deal with your…issues. Okay?”
I shook my head; Anthony sighed with exasperation. “For fuck’s sake,” he said, irritably. “Jess, stop being so bloody immature.”
“I’m not being immature.”
“Okay,” Roger said, attempting a smile. “Come on, guys. Let’s see if we can’t work out what this is all about.”
“Or we can just get on with the bloody wedding,” Anthony said irritably. “There are people waiting out there.”
“Let them wait,” Max said. “Look, if Jess is having doubts, why not postpone? There’s no need to rush into anything.”
I shot him a look of gratitude, but he didn’t reciprocate; our eyes met fleetingly, then he looked away again.
“Yes, there is,” Anthony said firmly. “And Jess isn’t having doubts.”
“Not doubts, no,” I agreed, feeling lighter suddenly, as though I’d finally taken a huge rucksack off my back. “It’s more than doubts. I know I don’t want to marry you. And you don’t want to marry me. Not really.”
“Yes, I do.” Anthony looked at me in annoyance, then forced a smile onto his face. “Jess, darling, come on. Don’t make a scene, okay? Let’s just do this.”
“No. I don’t love you, Anthony.” It felt good, finally telling the truth, like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders.
“Right,” Roger said, looking slightly taken aback.
“Fine. You’re right. You don’t love me and I don’t love you. But who cares? Love’s got n
othing to do with it,” Anthony said, his eyes narrowing slightly. “It doesn’t matter. We can still get married.”
My mouth opened in surprise. He didn’t love me? Then I kicked myself—that really wasn’t important right now. “That’s what I thought, Anthony. But it does matter,” I said quietly. “It matters a lot. It…” I looked over at Max again, but suddenly the sound of clacking heels made him turn his head away from me; seconds later, Helen and Ivana emerged from behind a pillar, Sean in tow. With them was Marcia.
Helen immediately rushed to my side and grabbed my hand. “Are you okay?” she whispered; I nodded in reply and squeezed her hand back.
“Vat is going on?” Ivana demanded. “We are here to see merrege. Why you no say I do?” She was looking at me accusingly, and Anthony nodded.
“My question exactly,” he said sharply. “Why, Jess?”
“I’ve just explained why not.” I stood up as I spoke; my legs were feeling wobbly underneath me and I steeled myself. “Anthony, listen to me. I’m not the person you think I am. And marriage isn’t something that should be rushed into…”
“You didn’t mind rushing before,” he said, his eyes flashing with anger. “In fact, if I remember rightly, it was you who wanted us to get married so quickly. What’s changed?”
“I’ve changed.” I reached out to take Anthony’s arm tentatively. “Anthony, I’m doing you a favor, honestly. Marriage should be based on love. And we’re not in love. We’re really not.”
“Love?” Anthony rolled his eyes and pulled away from me. “Oh, don’t be so naïve. Marriage isn’t about love. It’s about convenience and boredom, about money, property, family alliances…”
“Maybe for some, not for me,” I said, then stopped. “Property?” I stared at Anthony as something popped into my head. Then I shook myself. No, I was imagining it.
“Yes, property.” He was staring at me with a look of malevolence in his eye, a look I hadn’t seen before.
“The picture,” I said, a feeling of unease sweeping through me.
“The picture of the house on your desk. It was Grace’s house, wasn’t it. You had a picture of Grace’s house on your desk.”
“No I didn’t,” Anthony said, looking away as though I were a tiresome child. “You’re talking rubbish.”
“You did. It was her house,” I insisted. “Why wouldn’t you let me look at it?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. It wasn’t anyone’s house. It was just a house I was looking at buying, and I didn’t want you to see it because it was a surprise.” Anthony sighed. “Jesus, Jess, what is with you? You’re embarrassing everyone.”
“No, she isn’t embarrassing anyone,” Max said, his voice serious. “Anthony, what’s going on? What’s this about a house?”
Anthony folded his arms tightly. “I have no idea,” he said tensely. “No idea at all.” His eyes rested on me for a few seconds—suddenly their blueness didn’t look so attractive anymore. They were cold, hard eyes. And as I looked into them, I realized something. Something that made my heart sink down into my stomach.
“You knew,” I gasped. “You knew about the will. That’s why you asked me to marry you.”
“Will?” Anthony feigned ignorance, but his eyes flickered slightly. “What will?”
“He didn’t know about any will,” Marcia said suddenly, then reddened. “I mean doesn’t,” she corrected herself quickly. “Doesn’t know.”
I stared at her, my eyes narrowing. “What’s any of this to do with you anyway?”
“Me? Nothing. I just happen to know that Anthony doesn’t know anything about any will,” Marcia said, pouting guiltily.
Suddenly I found my eyes drawn to the top of her head. “Your sunglasses,” I said, frowning. “I’ve seen them before.”
“Sunglasses? Jess, are you okay? I think you’re going mad.” Marcia tossed her hair, but I could sense her unease.
Finally the image I’d been scanning my memory for popped into my head and my mouth fell open. “You were wearing them in the car. In Anthony’s car. The night he drove past me. You were in the car.”
Marcia blanched. “I don’t know what you mean.”
“You were in the car,” I said agitatedly. “It was you. You and Anthony…”
I stared at her in disbelief, but she didn’t say anything.
I turned back to Anthony, utterly confused. “But how did you know? How could you know that…”
“That what?” Max asked, but I ignored him. My brain was working overtime.
“Marcia!” I swung around accusingly. “You spoke to Mr. Taylor.”
“I did?” Marcia rolled her eyes. “I speak to a lot of people, Jess. I can’t remember all of them.”
“You spoke to him and you told Anthony.” I was on a roll now. “You must have.”
“So Anthony did know?” Helen’s eyes widened incredulously. “This was all a setup to get the money?”
“What money?” Max said, his face now a picture of confusion. “What’s everyone talking about?”
“Grace.” My voice was barely audible as I took in the reality of the situation. “Grace left me her house. Her money. And Anthony knew. He was only marrying me because…”
Anthony regarded me stonily. “Because you’d be rich? Well of course. Why else would I be marrying you?”
“You bastard!” Helen stared at him incredulously. “You manipulative bastard.”
Max moved toward me. “Anthony, I can’t believe you,” he said, icily. “All this time you’ve been using Jess. I take it this is your big moneymaking plan?”
“Oh, grow up, Max,” Anthony said angrily. “At least I showed her a good time. Shagged her. She had the time of her life.”
“You…you…you are a bastard,” Max said, stepping forward, his eyes blazing with anger.
“I just can’t believe this,” Helen said, her eyes wide with indignation. “So the two of you cooked up this little scheme together?”
“What, like your little scheme, you mean?” Anthony asked, a cruel little smile on his lips. “Project Marriage, wasn’t it?”
I felt the blood drain from my face.
“Project Marriage? What was Project Marriage?” Max asked, but everyone ignored him.
“It was on your computer,” Marcia said, folding her arms and shooting me a triumphant look. “You didn’t hide it very well.”
I gulped. My life was over. I’d never been so humiliated. “I thought you…I thought…,” I said, trailing off, unable to complete the sentence.
“Thought he was madly in love with you?” Marcia laughed. “Oh, Jess, get a grip, will you? Why on earth would someone like Anthony fall madly in love with you? I mean, really.”
“You cow!” Helen said, outraged. “You total cow! Why shouldn’t Anthony have fallen in love with Jess?”
“Because he’s already in love with me,” Marcia said. “Please keep up.”
“In love with you?” Anthony shook his head dismissively and turned to me. “I’m shagging her, that’s all. Come on, Jess, be reasonable.”
“Shagging me?” Now it was Marcia’s turn to look at him in disbelief. “I set you up to inherit all that money and you say you’re just shagging me? You bastard! Helen and Max are right. You are a total bastard.”
“Let’s forget about who’s shagging whom, shall we?” Anthony said, looking at me intently. “The fact of the matter is that you still need to marry me to get the money. Whatever has or hasn’t happened is water under the bridge now. Just say I do and we can discuss the division of assets later, okay?”
“Division of assets?” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.
“Well I’m hardly going to let you have the lot, am I?” Anthony smiled thinly. “Now for the last time, let’s go back to the altar and hear you say I do. Two words, Jess. Just two words. You can do it.”
I took a deep breath and turned to Anthony. “Never,” I said, not a tremor in my voice. “Not in a million years.”
“Yes you will,” Anthony said, ignoring her, his voice tense. “You don’t have a choice. We both have a lot to lose here, Jess. And neither of us will win if you walk away. Think about that. Think very hard.”
“I am thinking very hard,” I said, flatly.
“Then do the sensible thing.”
“Oh, but I am doing the sensible thing. I’m walking away. You know, Anthony, I used to think that love and romance were a waste of time, an admission of weakness. But they’re not. Faking love is what’s weak. Marrying for the wrong reasons is weak.”
“So’s leading people on,” Marcia offered.
“No,” Anthony sneered. “Letting people down is weak. Marcia, just butt out, will you? And Jess, you’re pathetic.”
“She isn’t pathetic,” Helen said hotly. “She just doesn’t love you. And after what I’ve heard, I’m bloody relieved. I’m pleased she isn’t marrying you.”
“No, you are not,” Ivana said, rolling her eyes. “No merrege, no money, remember.”
“Okay, I’ve had enough of this. Would someone please explain what’s going on?” Max said suddenly. “I thought Anthony was marrying Jess for her money. Why does she need to get married?”
“I don’t,” I said, blanching. “At least…I don’t want to. Not anymore…”
“Not anymore?” Max’s eyes were staring into mine and I looked back at him uncomfortably.
“I…” I bit my lip.
“Grace, Jess’s little old lady friend, thought Jess was married to Anthony,” Marcia said. “So she left her money to Mrs. Milton. Jess had to marry Anthony to get her hands on the money.” She shot me a little smile, which I ignored.
Max’s eyes widened. “But why would she think Jess was married to Anthony?”
I went red.
“Because she told Grace she was married to him, that’s why,” Marcia said with a sigh, as though it were common knowledge. “Keep up, Max.”
The Importance of Being Married: A Novel Page 29
