His radio. He battled the urge to ignore it. He wanted to feel her hot, naked skin under his. To slake this wild need clawing his gut. To lose control and make love to Jordan.
Shocked at himself, he dropped his hand and stepped back. What in the hell was he thinking? She didn’t want a smokejumper. She’d told him that point-blank. And no matter how strong the temptation, he refused to subject himself to that pain again.
Because this woman was different. They could never have an affair. Every time he touched her, he put his heart on the line.
Disgusted, he turned and strode to his PG bag. Even worse, that kiss had been unprofessional. A forest fire breathed up their backs. A mountain lion lurked nearby. They didn’t have time to fool around.
Appalled by his behavior, he jerked his radio from the bag and keyed the mike. The red light flashed, and he swore. Great. This was all he needed. The batteries were low, and he didn’t have any spares. He’d given his extras to Trey when he left the cabin.
“McKenzie here,” he snapped.
“This is dispatch.”
“Yeah.” He shook his head to clear it. “What’s up?”
“We checked out that clearing you saw, and think we can set down a chopper.”
He pulled his mind back to the fire. They could hike to the clearing, as long as Jordan held up. But did they have enough time? “What’s the fire doing?”
“It’s making a run to the north right now.”
Which meant it was heading straight toward them. He shot an uneasy gaze to the south, where the tall pines bobbed in his direction. If he hadn’t been so distracted by Jordan, he would have noticed the change.
“How long do you expect this wind to hold?”
“At least until tonight,” the dispatcher said. “We’ll get an update in a few hours.”
He thought hard. Alone, he could make that clearing in five or six hours, less if he picked up the pace. But Jordan could barely hang on now. And unless she got some rest soon, she’d collapse.
And if the wind switched back before they got to that clearing, they’d be in a hell of a mess. The worst place they could possibly be was on a steep slope with fire burning below them.
But did they have a choice? At the rate they were traveling, it would take days to reach that road. And if the wind didn’t shift, the fire would catch them right here.
He eyed the rock slide slowing their progress. “Any chance you can get a vehicle up this trail and meet us halfway?” That would shorten their hike.
“Hold on.” While the dispatcher murmured in the background, Cade shifted his gaze to Jordan. She knelt in the dirt, examining the dog. Her eyes lifted to his, and he felt the kick to his gut.
He had it bad, all right. Just looking at her stirred up those old feelings, dredging up memories he’d rather forget. Making him want things he couldn’t have.
Which was all the more reason to get the hell out of this forest.
“The road’s blocked a few miles from the junction,” the dispatcher told him. “Someone piled a wall of dirt across. We’ll have to bring in a bulldozer to clear it out.”
That wouldn’t gain them any time. “Never mind. We’ll get to that clearing. Just let me know if anything changes.”
He lowered his radio and tapped it against his thigh. They were committed to that clearing now. He just hoped to God the wind didn’t shift until they got there.
Chapter 9
J ordan stroked the dog’s silky ears, her heart still fluttering madly from that kiss. God help her, but she couldn’t stop reliving those amazing sensations—Cade’s muscled body hard against hers, the exciting heat of his skin. The pleasure streaking through her nerves, turning need into desperation.
She dragged in a shaky breath. She had to get a grip. It was just a kiss, for goodness’ sake. It wasn’t that big a deal. Certainly no reason to act as though the earth had shifted.
She glanced at Cade as he stuffed his radio in his bag. Her gaze slid over the broad shoulders stretching the seams of his black T-shirt, the long, hard cords of his arms, the powerful thighs encased in dusty green pants, and down to his lug-soled boots.
And knew she was lying to herself. Cade’s kiss had been anything but ordinary.
And if she’d learned anything from that miscarriage years ago, it was to face reality. She no longer hid behind the fantasies she’d clung to as a child.
And the truth was that she’d never reacted like that to Phil. Never. Kissing Phil had felt pleasant, comfortable, even mildly arousing.
But she’d never experienced that molten heat, that instant, carnal desire. That total insanity that, years ago, had made her elope with a man she’d just met—and even after all this time, even knowing the pain it would cause, tempted her to do it again.
Cade lifted their bags and stood in one smooth movement. He strode toward her, and another truth rocked her world. She’d thought she’d exaggerated her memories of Cade. That the passion she remembered was an illusion embellished with the passage of time.
But Cade’s kiss had just blasted that theory. That passion was as real as this mountain. And it had nothing to do with her faulty memory. It had everything to do with this man.
She gave the dog a final scratch and rose. She struggled to compose herself as Cade drew closer, to act as if nothing had changed.
But then the seriousness of his expression caught her attention, and she shoved aside thoughts of the kiss. Something was wrong. Something to do with the fire. Alarm blazed through her nerves.
“What happened?” she asked.
His gaze met hers, and he stopped. The corners of his eyes tensed, and her foreboding grew. “They can land a helicopter in that clearing the next mountain over,” he said. “I told them we’d head there instead of the road.”
“Why?” He wouldn’t change directions without good reason.
“The wind shifted. We’ll be safer heading that way.”
Oh, God. The fire was coming straight at them. She jerked her gaze to the sky.
“We’ve got time,” he continued, his voice even. “We’ll take a break and eat before we start hiking.”
Her gaze swiveled back to his. “But, if the fire’s near—”
“It’s not that close yet. We’ve got time to rest.”
She opened her mouth to argue, but he turned and strode back toward the trail.
Still, doubts nagged at her as she followed him around the boulders and away from the rock slide. If they were fine, then why did he look so worried? And why wouldn’t he share his concerns? What was he protecting her from?
She gnawed at her bottom lip. She was tempted to pretend she believed him and indulge in a much-needed break. Hunger drilled a hole in her stomach. Her knee ached from the fall in the road, her ankle throbbed where the rock had struck it, and blisters had chafed her heels raw.
And God, she was exhausted. Her head pounded like an off-balance washing machine, and even her leg muscles shook. She wanted desperately to curl up and sleep.
But she knew they needed to hurry. If Cade wanted off this mountain, the situation had to be bad. He wasn’t the type to overreact.
And although he’d never admit it, this mess was completely her fault. She’d made them stop to rescue the dog. She’d gotten chilled in that river. She’d dropped the leash and spent the morning crawling across that rock slide.
Without her, Cade would be safe in Missoula right now.
Which meant it was up to her to keep them moving. She couldn’t endanger him more.
A few yards down the path, he dropped their bags in a patch of grass. She hobbled to a stop behind him. “Cade, listen. I’m not that hungry. Why don’t we take a break later?”
He swiveled around and faced her. “I’d rather eat now.”
“But I don’t think we—”
“And I told you we’ve got enough time.” His blue eyes narrowed on hers. “Look, I wouldn’t go that way if I didn’t think that we could make it.”
She
scanned the hard line of his jaw, the implacable set to his shoulders, and realized she couldn’t convince him. He was determined to protect her, even at his own expense.
She huffed out her breath. “Fine.” So she would bolt down some food and act refreshed so they could get back on the trail. And then somehow, she would hike like a maniac to that clearing.
Cade lowered himself to the grass in front of a rock, his face tightening when he jostled his arm. Jordan joined him, careful to keep the dog between them, particularly with the memory of that kiss so fresh.
She pulled the remaining cheese and salami from her bag, then considered the orange. “How long will it take us to get there?”
“We’ll make it by nightfall.”
The finality in his voice plucked at her nerves. What happened if they hiked too slowly? She tightened her grip on the orange. “So we don’t have to make this food last?”
“Probably not, but we’ll save a can of tuna just in case.” He pulled the other can from his PG bag, along with his canteen.
She scanned what remained of their food. “You want the rest of the sandwich?”
“Go ahead. I’ll eat the tuna.”
The distance in his voice made her frown. Was he that worried about the fire, or just determined to ignore the kiss?
Either way, she should be grateful. Better to treat it as a moment of insanity and forget it.
She reached over and popped the pull-top on the can of tuna. “Why don’t I put the tuna on bread? It’ll be easier for you to eat that way.”
“All right.” He leaned against the rock and closed his eyes. Fatigue hardened the planes of his face, along with deep lines of tension.
Just how close was that fire?
Her nerves drumming, she split the remaining bread into quarters. Glad to have an activity to distract her, she heaped the tuna on one piece and made a sandwich for Cade, then piled the cheese and salami on her own. Despite her intentions, her thoughts kept sliding from the fire to that kiss, and her nerves wound even higher.
She tossed the dog a chunk of salami. “Do you mind if I give Dusty your beef jerky?”
“Go ahead.” He opened his eyes and took the sandwich. His gaze landed on the dog, and his expression turned thoughtful. “You know,” he said, “that mutt was damned lucky. That cat could have torn him apart.”
“I know.” A spasm clenched her throat at the memory. She’d been terrified that she couldn’t save him. And when that cat had prepared to leap…
Her hand trembling, she reached out to the dog and stroked the soft gray fur between his ears. His golden eyes lifted to hers, and she felt the tug to her heart. “It was close, wasn’t it, Dusty?” Far too close. She never wanted to feel that fear again.
She gave him a final pat, filled his water bowl and fed him the jerky. Then she settled back against the rock to eat her sandwich. The stale bread had the texture of tree bark, but she devoured it anyway.
“Jordan.” Cade’s low tone pricked at her nerves. She met his gaze, and dread trickled into her gut. She’d never seen him look so serious.
“I meant what I said back there. It could get dangerous up on that mountain. Fire behavior can get extreme. And if it blows up, it happens fast. The conditions can change in seconds.” His blue eyes stayed steady on hers. “So if I tell you to do something, I need to know that you’ll listen. Even if it means leaving the dog.”
She made an anguished sound. Leave the dog? And let him die? Her gaze fell to his furry face and her heart cramped even tighter. No way. She could never leave him behind.
Not even if it cost them their lives?
Her stomach balled in a surge of panic. Cade didn’t know what he was asking. She pulled Dusty to her lap and hugged him, and buried her face in his fur. She couldn’t fail this dog. He trusted her. He depended on her to get him to safety.
But she’d seen that blaze up close—the roiling smoke, the thundering flames. Fire streaming and exploding through trees.
“I’m serious,” Cade said. “Our survival could depend on how fast we move.”
Feeling shredded inside, she raised her gaze to his. And for an endless moment, she just looked at him, absorbing his strength and resolve.
And a deep sense of certainty filled her. No matter what had happened in their past or how he felt about her now, this man would do anything to protect her. She could trust him with her life.
She had to, because each time she’d ignored his directions, she’d caused more problems. So far, she’d only delayed them, and acquired some bruises and scrapes. Next time, she could get them both killed.
And no matter how wrenching it would be to leave the dog, she couldn’t endanger Cade. “I understand,” she whispered.
“Good.”
She dragged her gaze back to the dog. But their situation would have to get extremely dire before she abandoned him. And she wouldn’t let it reach that point. She’d hike like a demon to that clearing so they could outrun that fire.
Resolved now, she polished off the last of her sandwich and leaned back, pretending to rest. It wasn’t hard. In fact, she had to fight the urge to sleep. The dry breeze swished through the weeds beside the trail, its hypnotic murmur sedating. Insects droned in the rising heat, lulling her into closing her eyes.
Determined to stay awake, she jerked her eyes back open. Then she brushed the dirt off her torn jeans and grimaced. God, she was filthy. What she wouldn’t give for a shower and bed. A moan rose in her throat at the thought.
Cade reached for his canteen. “How’s your shoulder?” she asked.
“Could be worse.”
Or better, she suspected. He tapped several ibuprofen onto his thigh, tossed them into his mouth and chased them down with water. His Adam’s apple dipped as he drank.
Her gaze slid down his whiskered throat, over the sinewy cords of his neck, to the makeshift sling cradling his arm. She felt a spurt of admiration. God, he was stoic. He had to feel worse than she did. He’d jumped from a plane, battled the fire and been crushed by a burning tree. Then he’d forded a river, tramped over the mountain, and stopped a predator from attacking. Yet he managed to keep himself going.
And if he could do it, so could she. “You ready to go?” she asked.
“In a minute.” He passed her the canteen, then leaned back and closed his eyes.
“Mind if I take one of your pills?”
“Help yourself.”
Deciding one wouldn’t do, she shook three from the plastic vial and gulped them down. With a sigh, she recapped the canteen. Even warm, the water eased her dry throat. Now if she could only close her eyes…But she didn’t dare. She’d fall asleep in seconds and not budge again for hours.
Unfortunately, that didn’t give her much to do except look at Cade. Her gaze traveled over his familiar, handsome face. Dirt streaked his temples. A two-day growth of beard lined his lean jaw. Her pulse hummed. In all her life, she’d never seen a sexier man.
Without warning, he opened his eyes. His gaze seared into hers and her breath jammed. Her heart stilled, as if trapped by that heated stare, and she couldn’t look away.
And the memory of that kiss swept through her. The frantic hunger, the clawing need. The pulsing surge of desire.
His hot eyes narrowed on hers. “So, who are you engaged to?” he asked.
Thrown by that question, she sucked in her breath. She couldn’t lie to Cade, nor did she want to. They’d had too many misunderstandings in the past. They needed honesty now.
“No one, actually,” she admitted. She lifted her hand. “Phil asked me. He’s a guy I’ve dated for a couple of years, but I…I haven’t made up my mind.”
His gaze held hers for a long moment, but she couldn’t read his expression. Then he stood. “Why not?”
Good question. Ignoring her protesting body, she rose to her feet and gathered their trash. “No reason. I guess I just needed time. He’s a great guy. Steady, dependable.”
Like a dog.
The
ir gazes latched. Cade’s accusation hung in the air between them. He lifted his brows, as if daring her to deny it.
Her face hot, she jerked her gaze away. She snatched up her bag and grabbed Dusty’s leash, but questions crowded her mind.
Was Cade right? Was she expecting too much from a man? Was she wrong to want her husband to stay home?
Phil wouldn’t think so. He never felt the need to roam, and he certainly never sought out risky adventures. His idea of a thrill was cramming in an extra round of golf before the evening sprinklers came on. And he’d gladly spend nights at her side.
But Phil had never kissed her like that.
“We need to head back down the road a half mile, then cut across the valley,” Cade said. “We’ll look for a game trail to follow.”
“All right.” Grateful for the change of subject, she quickly fell in beside him. But as she tramped along, trying to ignore her blisters and aches, she faced another harsh fact. If she married Phil, she’d never feel that excitement again. The only man who created that havoc was Cade.
And why was that? She loved Phil, didn’t she? Frowning, she skirted a rut in the trail. Of course she loved him. Their relationship was just more mature, based on stability and respect.
Boredom?
Doubt slowed her steps. No, that wasn’t true. Of course Phil didn’t bore her. He relaxed her, sure, but wasn’t that better than a roller-coaster relationship filled with extreme highs and lows? It was certainly easier on her nerves.
But if she loved Phil, then why did Cade affect her so strongly? Was it just lust? A heavy dose of sexual chemistry? Or something deeper?
That thought stopped her cold. Cade glanced back, and she hurried to catch up. Panic raced through her chest. She couldn’t still love Cade. No, absolutely not. Loving him meant months of loneliness, reliving the misery of her childhood, being forever left behind.
Besides, she hardly knew him anymore. She’d changed since their divorce. She’d become more independent, more focused on reality, and Cade had probably changed, too.
She slid a glance at his rugged profile, and the cold truth slammed through her heart. Despite the passing years, he hadn’t changed that much. He was still the amazing man she’d married. Generous and strong, brave and exciting—and unable to stay home every night.
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