by Hotcheri
I shook my head immediately, clasping her cold hands in mine. “Not even. If something like this happened to me, I would be bawling my eyes out.” Smiling at her, I caressed her cheek. “You’re really brave.”
Shooting me a grateful glance, CiCi said, “I just have a hard time dealing with situations like this.” She frowned, staring at her feet. “Maybe it comes from my mom abandoning me- that’s what I think. I hate people I care about being taken away from me because that’s what always seems to happen. My mom, Rhea, the old Nate....”
Her voice trailed off and she blinked back tears.
“I understand what you mean,” I murmured, brushing her hair back from her face as she put her head on my shoulder.
After everything she had been through in her life, it was only normal that CiCi would have abandonment issues. Why hadn’t I realised that before? And what was it going to take to make me realise that dad didn’t give a shit about me being happy. All the man wanted was to call the shots in my life and relationships, but that wasn’t right. He spent the past ten years of my life showing how little he cared about me. Why, all of a sudden, was he trying to integrate himself in my life again? Simple- he wanted me to be as unhappy and bitter as he was. Well, no sale. I wasn’t going to jump just because he told me to!
“That’s why I always tell you not to be negative about your situation,” she admitted, a tiny smile on her lips. She looked up at me, the loving expression on her pretty face making my heart skip a beat. “I just don’t think I could bear losing you.”
Kissing her forehead, I said, “Well, you won’t have to,” unable to keep the excitement out of my voice any longer.
She stared up at me, an inquiring expression on her face. “What do you mean?”
“I just had a meeting with Dr. Khan,” I told her, grinning so widely I thought my cheeks were going to split. Her eyes widened and she nodded eagerly, waiting for me to continue. “He told me that they’re ready to operate!”
CiCi covered her mouth with her hand, her eyes huge. “What? When?” she asked.
“Next week. When he told me, I could hardly believe it. Thought he was playing a joke on me. I’ve been waiting so long and- ooof!”
Throwing her arms around me, CiCi squeezed me tight in a super hug and knocked all the air out of me. I hugged her back, a delirious feeling sweeping through my body, making me feel like me for the first time in ages. The aneurysm must have had me more spooked than I knew. For the first time in months, I didn’t feel anxious or nervous for no reason and that was a win.
“Oh, Luke, that’s amazing news! Why didn’t you tell me that the instant you saw me? If I’d had news like that, I would have shouted it from the rooftop or something!”
“But you were crying,” I pointed out; loving the grateful smile she gave me. It made me sure that I was doing the right thing by not following my dad’s orders. “I had to cheer you up first so that you could share the news with me.”
She gave me a soft pat on the cheek. “Mr. Thoughtful,” she teased.
“I try,” I grinned at her, before kissing her lips gently.
“This is exactly the kind of news I needed after the day I’ve had,” CiCi told me.
I shot her a crooked smile. “Yeah? Then I’m glad to have been of service to you.”
She wriggled around a bit on the bench, gazing adoringly at me. That look- it just made me feel so damn special. “I’m just so excited about your good news,” she said in response to my curious look.
“Me too,” I admitted giddily.
“Did you tell your dad yet?” CiCi asked me, pushing her hair out of her eyes. “Or does he already know?”
Shrugging, I said, “I don’t know, or care, to be honest.”
Biting her lip, CiCi glanced thoughtfully at me. “You’re not fighting again, are you?”
“Define fighting.”
Narrowing her eyes, CiCi said, “You’re hiding something,” in a quiet voice.
She knew me too damn well.
“Remember that day when my dad tried to pay you off in exchange for you dumping me?”
CiCi nodded, her serious hazel eyes not leaving my face. “Yes.”
“Well, he’s been trying to make me dump you as well,” I started hesitantly, hating the sudden shock and hurt that flitted onto my girlfriends face. Wrapping an arm around her shoulder, I pulled her towards me, whispering, “Obviously I’m not going to dump you, silly, or I wouldn’t be here.”
She pressed her lips to mine and for a moment, I lost myself in the sensation of her warm, soft lips. When I pulled away reluctantly, she was smiling. “I know you’re not going to dump me,” she replied sweetly, patting my shoulder. “I also know that’s not all he said to you. Spill.”
Too damn well.
Taking a deep breath, I hesitantly told CiCi about what dad had said about me dying on the operating table, amongst other things. By the time I was done, CiCi was livid.
“So how does that work?” she asked condescendingly, narrowing her eyes. “You dump me, break my heart then you- die- and he thinks I still won’t care?” The hurt in her voice sent a pang through my heart as she continued. “Does that really make sense?”
I shook my head. Now that she put it out there in such a way, it sounded like the stupidest idea ever. I can’t believe I even listened to my dad. “No, babe,” I whispered, holding her tense body tight.
“If anything were to happen to you, you wouldn’t have to worry about it. I would be the one doing the grieving.” She blinked up at me, a sad expression in her eyes. “So why won’t he just let me deal with it?”
I nodded, glad that the situation had been smoothed over but feeling some kind of way about hurting CiCi’s feelings involuntarily.
Trying my best to make up for everything, I remembered that tonight my family was going to watch a show at the NYC Ballet. CiCi loved music. She wouldn’t be able to turn this invitation down, would she?
“Wanna come to the NYC Ballet with us tonight?” I asked her softly, caressing her cheek.
She shook her head at once. “I’m pretty sure your dad wouldn’t want me there. I’ll pass.”
“Okay,” I sighed, choosing to ignore the barbed comment. Me and my big mouth. My feelings must have shown on my face, because CiCi’s eyes softened. “I’m not mad at you, Luke. It just hurts knowing that people are so opposed to us being together,” she told me.
“Yeah,” I agreed. “But we’re in this together, CiCi. No one’s business but ours.”
She smiled at me, a real CiCi smile and I leaned in to kiss her. I didn’t care what dad had to say, I was planning on being with this girl for as long as possible.
***
I was so wrapped up in my thoughts when I got home that I totally forgot about the ballet our supreme dictator had planned for us to watch that evening. Needless to say, dad wasn’t impressed when Hope had to wake me up from a fitful nap almost twenty minutes before we left.
As I groggily slipped into my jacket in the foyer, he passed me, growling, “I’m glad you’re getting operated on soon. Then you can stop using your aneurysm as an excuse to be lazy.”
With a happy family moment like that, I wasn’t looking forward to spending a couple of hours in his company at all. The drive to Lincoln Center was uneventful but when we got there and dad was mingling with his comrade’s, Faith pulled me to the side, a searching look on her sweet face.
“Is Celsi gonna come too?” she asked me hopefully.
“No, princess,” I said, shaking my head sorrowfully. Crap. I totally forgot promising Faith that I was going to invite CiCi to come with us before I left for my appointment this morning.
“Luke!” Pouting, Faith stomped one foot on the floor. “You promised!”
“I know I did, and I’m sorry, princess. She can’t come.”
“Why?”
I stared down into Faith’s earnest brown eyes, wondering what to tell her. I definitely couldn’t tell her that CiCi didn’t want to come near dad for fear th
at he would whip out his check book and start making offers again.
“She’s busy,” I explained lamely, my groggy mind unable to come up with anything better.
Glaring at me, Faith pooched her bottom lip out. “You’re mean!” she exclaimed heatedly, running back to her mom. Groaning, I followed her. Great. Now Faith was mad at me. What else could happen?
As I would soon find out, a whole lot.
Dad had rented us box seats and I found myself sitting next to Faith and Hope. For a while, apart from a few ‘ooh’s and aah’s’ from Hope, who seemed to be the only one who was actually watching, everyone was silent. I knew I was barely watching. The T3’s had faded, leaving a nasty thudding in my temples that wouldn’t go away. The bright lighting made my head ache even more and coupled with nausea and steady guilty feelings over the whole CiCi thing- let’s just say I was having a very uncomfortable night.
When the first act was over, Hope stirred. “Wasn’t that pretty?” she said to nobody in particular.
“First thing tomorrow, sign Faith up for ballet lessons,” dad said gruffly. “In ten years we’ll be watching her perform here.”
“But I don’t wanna do ballet,” Faith piped up.
“Yes you do, sweetie,” dad said in a forbidding voice that left no room for argument. “You want to be a famous ballet dancer and make daddy proud.” He grunted. “One of my kids has to.”
Another day, another snide remark directed at me. This one went over my head; I was too busy concentrating on my breathing to keep the nausea at bay.
But Faith got her tenaciousness from him, and she wouldn’t let up. Shaking her head and making her brown hair fly, she said, “But ballet is stupid! I wanna be a cat doctor.”
Contemptuously, dad said, “A vet? There’s no money in that! No fame at all! You’re going to be a ballerina, sweetie. All little girls want to be ballerinas.”
Shows how well he knows Faith. Her favourite toys are her race cars. Girly girl she was not.
“Not me,” she said with finality, settling back in her chair. “I don’t wanna do that.”
“Well, you’re going to,” dad said, eager to have the last word.
“Leave the kid alone, dad,” I interrupted. “She wants to be a vet, not a ballerina.”
“No child of mine is going to be a lowly vet.”
I shrugged, the very action sending daggers of pain shooting through my temples. “It’s her life. Let her figure it out on her own.”
“It’s my money,” dad responded coldly, leaning forward to glower at me.
I squeezed my eyes shut against the bright lights. “Oh, so just because it’s your cash it means you have the right to run her life? How do you figure that?” Without waiting for him to answer, I turned to Faith, my neck feeling stiff as I moved my head. Shit, I needed water. I had cotton mouth. “Don’t worry, princess. If you still want to be a cat doctor when you’re older, I’ll pay for it.”
She gave me a huge smile and patted my hand, her previous anger towards me forgotten. “Thanks, Luke!”
“Because if you want him to do it, you’re wasting your time. He just wants you to do what he wants,” I continued, getting in a few shots at dad myself.
Eyes narrowing, dad said, “You’re treading on thin ice, Luke. Zip it.”
I laughed, ignoring the flare up of pain in my head. “Oh, am I? How can I be when I’m just telling the truth? Or are you going to sit there and deny that you just want to run my life?”
I wanted to fight, to knock heads with somebody and dad just happened to be there. Trouble is, he’d been spoiling for a fight with me for a long time.
“I’m trying to help you, but you’re just too stupid to realise it,” he growled.
Ignoring Hope’s little admonishing gasp, I said, “By doing what? Trying to buy CiCi off, almost forcing me to dump her because she’s not good enough to date an Astor?”
Hope stared at dad, who actually had the grace to look embarrassed. “What? Lucas, is that true?”
“Sure, that’s a lot of help, dad,” I drawled sarcastically.
“You don’t understand, Luke,” dad started in a dangerously quiet voice. “You think you’ve earned the right to act however you want, to run the Astor name through the mud, don't you? Well, you haven’t. As long as I’m alive, I call the shots. And the sooner you realise that, the better.”
I shook my head, admiring his balls. “You just hate to see me happy, don’t you? So you try to make me as miserable as you are.” Finally, I understood. As long as I was happy, dad never would be. And that just ate him up inside, didn’t it? “But you know what? I don’t care anymore. You can do your worst, but you won’t stop me from living my own life. You tried to manipulate me into dumping CiCi, but I’m not going to give you the satisfaction.”
“You’re a disgrace to the Astor name,” dad said simply, his eyes on my face to judge my reaction.
“Lucas-,” Hope started, trying to intervene.
“I’m a disgrace?” I cut in. “You’re the evil, cold-hearted asshole who’s hated me for life! Nothing I do is ever good enough for you; nothing I say is right, nothing I try to do will work for you! To you, I’m just a screw-up and that’s all I’ll ever be, right? But I don’t care! Because I have something that you lost long time ago- a heart.”
Dad gave me a sarcastic slow clap, sneering. “Nice speech. And you know what? You’re right. I don’t care.” He laughed. “You’re just a screw-up and I’m sick of it. I mean, you can’t even have an aneurysm right!”
He laughed some more as I opened my mouth to respond bitingly.
My answer turned into a scream of agony as my head virtually exploded with pain. For a second, all I saw was white light as I gripped my head with both hands, trying to stop the intense pain within.
“Luke? Luke?” I heard Faith talk to me, her small hands grabbing my knee, but I couldn’t answer her. I couldn’t focus on anything but the blinding, all-encompassing pain. It seared through my body, making me dizzy. “Mom! Dad! Something’s wrong!”
I leaned forward in my seat, my whole body trembling as I dry heaved. The last thing I heard before I passed out was Faith wailing, “Help him! Someone help my big brother!”
And then everything faded to black.
CHAPTER 30
can anybody hear me?
Celsi’s Point of View
I was supposed to be doing homework, but all I could think about as my eyes flicked over the text in my book was Luke.
Running a hand over my face, I sighed loudly. The illness was taking its toll on Luke, I knew that better than anybody. I had seen how pale he looked this afternoon. He was going through a lot, dealing with pain I couldn’t even imagine. Maybe the headaches were messing with his thought process as well, hitting him so hard that he couldn’t think straight. And he had the added pressure of his dad and friends not approving of us dating too- that had to be a difficult situation.
I need to talk to him.
My phone started vibrating and I picked it up, not recognizing the number on the screen. A hopeful spark grew in my stomach regardless. Maybe it was Luke! Maybe he’d had the same idea I had and was calling to reassure me that our relationship was strong enough to survive people’s opposition.
A big smile all over my face, I pressed talk. “Hello?”
“Hi. Can I talk to Celsi, please?” an unfamiliar female voice whispered.
My smile slipped from my face. Who was this? “This is Celsi.”
“Hi Celsi. It’s Hope.” My eyes widened in trepidation as Hope continued, her voice sounding choked up with emotion. “I’m sorry to bother you, but-.”
“What’s wrong?” I asked, my heart thudding. Luke. What had happened? My hands were clammy as I gripped my cell phone to my ear. Please no.... Forcing a false note of calmness in my voice, I swallowed hard before continuing. “It’s Luke, isn’t it? Something happened.”
I knew the call was about Luke, it had to be. Hope had never once called me up to
just chat and I could hear from her breathing that she was trying hard not to fall apart.
Hope’s breath hitched in her throat as she answered. “His aneurysm- it ruptured.”
A dull roaring filled my ears as I staggered to my bed, flopping down before my legs could give out on me. Even though I had unconsciously been bracing myself for this moment since Luke had told me about his aneurysm, I still wasn’t prepared for this. The blood in my veins turned cold and my eyes filled with tears. “Is he- is he okay?”
“We don’t know yet,” Hope replied, sobbing lightly. “He’s being stabilized right now.”
Wiping my eyes, I said, “When did this happen?”
“Over an hour ago. I had to go home to get Luke’s medical card and some other things and I got your number from his phone.”
“Are you at the hospital?” I asked. I wanted to go there if I could. I wanted to be by Luke’s side so that if anything happened… No. I shook my head firmly, even as tears slid down my cheeks. Think positive. Nothing’s going to happen to him.
“Yes,” Hope replied. “I was hoping you could come. We’re at Mount Sinai. Dr. Khan says he wants Luke to be surrounded by family and friends.” Her voice broke. “His mother’s on her way as well. Luke’s dad sent a chartered jet to pick her up. She was in New Orleans.”
Luke’s mother was on the way, sent for by Mr. Astor himself? That could only mean one thing...
“How bad off is he?” I whispered, not wanting to know because if Hope said what I thought she was going to say, then how could I possibly stay strong?
“I don’t know. The doctors won’t tell us. I know that he’s in critical condition. He passed out right in front of us.”
Hope started crying again.
“I’m on my way,” I said immediately, standing up and slipping on my hoodie. I had 5 dollars, enough to get a cab ride to the subway.
Sounding relieved, Hope said, “Thank you, Celsi. I’ll wait for you in the hospital lobby. Take a taxi, I’ll pay for it.”
