by Hotcheri
Face void of any discernible emotion, Mr. Astor gazed at me. I quaked, sure that he was going to come at me with a biting retort. But why should I keep what I was feeling silent, when maybe, just maybe, if I said the right thing it might persuade Mr. Astor to let Luke stay?
It’s worth a shot.
“You’re right.” My forehead wrinkled and as I stared up at him, he started to pace. Uh oh. “I don’t trust him.” Turning to me, he gave an exaggerated slow clap. “Well done for cracking the code.”
No need to get all snarky with it.
Ignoring his sarcastic grin, I asked, “Why don’t you trust him?”
A bark of laughter. “Do I need to give you reasons?”
“He’s changed. You know he has. He doesn’t drink, smoke or party all night anymore,” I said, my voice fervent. “He deserves a second chance.”
Grimly, Mr. Astor said, “Do you know how many chances your boyfriend has had? He lost the privileges of getting any other chances when he got expelled.”
“He was provoked.”
Oh. My. God. I’m arguing with Mr. Astor! This can’t end well.
Raising his eyebrows, Mr. Astor asked, “Where you there?”
“No, but-,” I started, wanting to explain everything. Somehow, I knew that Mr. Astor hadn’t even listened to Luke's side of the expulsion story. Hell, Luke probably hadn’t even bothered to explain the entire situation to his dad in the first place. Who would blame him? Mr. Astor wasn’t the most sympathetic person, not by a long shot.
Sighing, Mr. Astor interrupted. “Listen. I appreciate your attempts in trying to get me to reverse my decision to send Luke away, but your well-meaning arguments won’t work on me. Come and talk to me when you have a son like Luke, always screwing up, never doing what he’s told- a rebel without a cause.” His voice turned sorrowful as he stopped pacing and abruptly sat himself on Luke's bed, facing me as he spoke. “Do you know how many chances I’ve given him to redeem himself? Too many to count, Miss Sawyer.”
“I know, sir, but this time will be different,” I insisted. “I don’t know many people who would go back to their old, destructive lifestyle after a near death experience. And Luke was changing even before the rupture.”
As cynical as it was, I could see Mr. Astor's point of view. He’d given Luke so many chances to change but Luke hadn’t even cared. It just seemed sad that now Luke was determined to be a better person, his dad was the one who didn’t care. But surely Luke deserved the benefit of the doubt in this situation? I mean, it was obvious that he was different, right? You didn’t have to be a rocket scientist to figure that out.
Mr. Astor shrugged. “Good,” he replied, rubbing his hands together. “Then when he goes to the UK with his mother, he’ll complete his transformation and come back here a real Astor, not someone always willing to sling his family name through the mud in exchange for some cheap thrills.”
“That’s not his game plan anymore.” I shook my head, willing for Mr. Astor to understand what I was trying to tell him. Luke is different! Why was he the only person who didn’t realize it? “He’s more mature, grown up.”
“That’s sweet of you, defending him like that,” Mr. Astor smirked, his voice full of sarcasm. “I guess he picked a winner.”
My lips tightening, I said, “I’m just being honest and pointing out the truth.”
Since you’re too negative to see it on your own.
“Oh yeah?” His eyes narrowed as he glowered at me. “Well, since we’re baring our souls here, let’s talk about how your boyfriend cost me business relationships, major deals and hundreds of thousands of dollars, all thanks to that wild streak of his. Bitter? Hell, yeah I’m bitter!” He got to his feet again, towering over me even as my heart leapt in my chest. Celsi, what have you done? “Wouldn’t you be bitter?”
Choosing my words carefully, (he really seemed like he was interested in hearing what I had to say) I answered, “Yes, but I would talk to him, tell him how I feel.”
Wrong answer.
Mr. Astor snickered derisively at my naiveté as he shook his head. “Yeah right. Do I really look like I have the time to talk with Luke?”
“That’s the problem,” I said softly, looking up at him. “You don’t have time for him. You never do and that’s why he acts out, because he just wants attention from you. It’s the age old tactic. If you can’t get attention by being good, get it by being bad.” The frown on Mr. Astor's face softened as I continued, filling me with hope that maybe what I was saying was registering to him. “He doesn’t want much from you, just your love.”
Puzzlement flickered on Mr. Astor's face as he stuck his hands in his jacket pockets. “I do love him,” he said in complete bewilderment. “Does he honestly think that I don’t? If I didn’t love him, would I have gone through all the trouble I went through during his aneurysm problems?”
“That’s the thing,” I started delicately, not wanting to step on Mr. Astor's toes but needing to say my piece. “You did go all out, I’m not saying that you didn’t, but you kept rubbing his face in it. You acted like you were just getting him the best medical care in New York just because you’re his dad and you have to, not because you cared.”
Running a hand over his neat hair, Mr. Astor murmured, “I do care. I love my son very much, but he keeps disappointing me with the decisions he makes.”
“When you were young I’m sure you made a few bad decisions as well.”
Oops, now I’ve crossed the line.
I was totally expecting Mr. Astor to start barking about how perfect he was as a youngster and that I should take that back, but to my shock, he smiled at me.
“You should be a therapist, Miss Sawyer. Or a lawyer. You have some very concise arguments.”
“I’m just speaking out of love,” I replied honestly. “I love your son and- and he loves you too, Mr. Astor. In spite of everything he put you through. And he’s turned over a new leaf. I just wish you would realize that.”
Holding my gaze with a searching look, Mr. Astor finally let out a humph sound. “You know what, Miss Sawyer?” His lips turned up in a smile as I waited for him to continue with bated breath. “I think you’re the best decision my son has made in years.”
Just as I was goggling at him with wide eyes, (that was basically the equivalent of Mr. Astor saying that he approved of our relationship!) the door opened and Luke strolled into the room. His eyebrows rose as he took in the scene, seemingly taken aback at seeing us in the same room together.
“Hey, CiCi,” he said, skirting around his dad warily to give me a kiss on the cheek.
“Hi, Luke,” I replied, watching him glance at Mr. Astor, who was staring at the floor.
Slipping his hand over mine as I stood up, Luke whispered, “Ready to go?” in my ear.
“Yeah, I’m ready,” I said, still floored by what Mr. Astor had just said.
Finally, Luke turned to his dad. “Hey, Dad.”
“Hi, son.”
Luke's eyebrows rose higher at the salutation his dad gave him. “Um... didn’t know you were planning on visiting today.”
He sounded slightly resentful and I couldn’t blame him. The lack of his dad’s visits obviously hurt him deeply, even though he didn’t like to show it.
“I came to visit Dr. Khan.”
Shrugging, Luke muttered, “Of course.” He squeezed my shoulder. “We should head on out, CiCi.” I nodded as Luke started hustling me out, one hand on my back. He apparently couldn’t wait to leave. “Later, dad.”
We were halfway out of the room when Mr. Astor suddenly called out, “Luke!”
“Yeah?” Luke said carelessly over his shoulder.
Mr. Astor cleared his throat before he went on. “I think we need to have a little talk when you come back from the cemetery.” He glanced over at me and gave a slight nod. “It’s long overdue.”
“Okay. I guess,” Luke replied, nodding. “See you later, then. C’mon, CiCi.” As we walked away from his dad, Luke mutt
ered, “Weirdo.”
***
We stopped at the flower shop to buy some flowers (my idea) and headed out to the cemetery where Shane was buried.
“When was the last time you came here?” I asked Luke as we walked up to Shane’s grave.
His face was somber and pale as he looked down at the final resting place of his best friend. “Too long ago,” he replied, his voice hoarse. Reaching down, he placed the bouquet of flowers on the granite slab, running his fingers along the inscription written on the tombstone. ‘Here lies Shane Newton. Beloved son and friend. We loved him, but God loved him more. Rest in eternal peace.’ “You remember him, don’t you?”
“Yeah,” I nodded. “He was my lab partner for a couple of weeks. Always happy.”
Lips twitching with a smile, Luke said, “Yeah, that used to get me all kinds of confused. His family was kinda screwed up, his dad was always in rehab but Shane was always smiling.” He turned to look at me, his eyes thoughtful. “I see lots of similarities between you two.”
“You do?” I asked, surprised.
“Yeah. You both care about others, you’re both happy, no matter what life throws at you...” His voice trailed off as he stared at Shane’s grave pensively, his hands jammed into his jeans pockets. “I bet you would have been really good friends if life had turned out differently.”
Letting out a breath, I said, “Maybe.” I didn’t want life to turn out differently because maybe Luke and I wouldn’t have gotten together. Stepping forward, I slipped my hand in his and smiled up at him. “But I’m kinda glad life turned out this way for us.”
Grinning down at me, Luke murmured, “Co-sign.” He bit his lip, staring at the inscription reflectively. “I don’t know what to say.”
“Imagine he was right here with you. What would you say to him?” Luke shot me a surprised look at my answer and I elaborated. “That’s what I do when I think about my mom.”
Worrying his bottom lip between his teeth, Luke gave me a cute sideways look as he cautiously asked, “Do you think she’s still- still alive?”
“No,” I replied simply. “I don’t think I’ll ever see her again. I miss her, but I get that things had to be like that.” Sighing, I continued. “I just wish I had a chance to show her how good I turned out.”
Luke nudged me, a small smile on his face. “I always knew you’d be a good egg.”
Got jokes, huh?
“Funny.” I stuck my tongue out at him.
Turning serious, he wrapped his arms around me, whispering, “I bet she’d be really proud of you.”
“You think?”
“Uh huh. You’re really something.”
I smiled, my heart swelling with the sweetness overload Luke was giving me. “Thanks, Luke.”
“I don’t know what to say, CiCi. Help me out?” Luke pooched his bottom lip out at me. How can I resist that?
“Hey, Shane, it’s Celsi, your old lab partner. I’m here with Luke and we bought you flowers.” I stroked the pretty petals of the chrysanthemums I had picked out for him. “I’m pretty sure you’ll like them. And I know you appreciate Luke's visit. Personally, I think he owes you an apology but I know you’ll forgive him because you’re just that kind of guy.”
I nudged Luke, signaling for him to continue where I left off.
He stepped forward, his face tense. “Hey bro. you don’t have to tell me that the flowers are sissy, I know they are. But CiCi forced me to get them.”
“Don’t put me into this!” I exclaimed, folding my arms over my chest, a smile on my face.
“I miss you, man. I would pour out a little liquor for you but I stopped drinking and I lost my fake ID. Yeah, the crappy one you made for me. Sorry.” Luke grinned, his eyes misting over as the memories took hold of him. “I know you’d be proud of me for quitting the party boy lifestyle so I’m gonna pat myself on the back for you.” I giggled as he clapped himself on the back a couple of times. “So, you probably know about my aneurysm rupturing. I was in a coma for a week but I’m balling like a champ now. And my mom came back!” He grinned ruefully, running a hand through his hair. “I bet you’d have the biggest crush on her, you cougar hunter.” He turned to me, a faraway look in his emerald eyes. “Did I tell you that his last girlfriend was 24?”
I giggled. Somehow, I could definitely see Shane dating someone much older than him. “Really?”
Luke's lips twisted up in a smile. “Yeah, he liked them mature. He was a real character.” Heaving a deep sigh, he turned back to his best friend’s grave. “Well, I’m here to say bye for a while. I got expelled from Dalton so I’m being sent to England for school. Yeah, I know you’re laughing at me up there, you jerk. I finally pissed the old man off so much he did something concrete about it. But I’ll be back. Can’t keep a good man down, right? Besides, I have a girlfriend now.” He slid his arm around me, pulling me towards him and kissing my forehead. What he said next gave me a warm, fuzzy feeling inside. “You remember when you said I would meet someone who knocks me off my feet? Well, I finally did. And she didn’t just knock me off my feet; she elbowed me in the face.”
Luke grinned teasingly at me as my mouth opened, mortification seeping in. Oh, the horror of that moment... I had honestly thought he had forgotten about that! Guess there was truth in his ‘I remember everything’ line.
Getting into the groove, Luke went on to say, “So, in one year, I got sick, fell in love, got expelled, lost my friends and got my mom back. Not bad, hey? I just wish you were here to see.” He ran a shaking hand over his face. “I miss you, Shane. I miss you a lot.”
***
Luke never really told me what went down between him and his dad after we went to visit Shane.
“He apologized. I accepted his apology. Case closed,” was his cryptic response to my veiled questions. Because I didn’t want to seem like the meddler I truly was, I didn’t tell him that I had something to do with Mr. Astor's ‘we need to talk’ spiel. But somehow, I think Luke knew.
Mr. Smarty Pants.
The day of his departure dawned and I woke up all weepy, certain that it was going to be a hard day. Vanessa had left a few days earlier to get their new house in order and now it was Luke's turn to follow her. Because he didn’t want any tears or dramatic moments (I guess he’s looking at you, Hope?) at the airport, Luke elected to say goodbye to his family at home and travel to the airport by himself. After assuring and reassuring him that I wasn’t going to cry when saying au revoir, he gave in, after much resistance, and agreed to let me see him off. Although I knew that Luke didn’t want to make things harder than they needed to be, I still wanted to say bye to him properly, with a big send off. I wasn’t backing off without a fight and he knew it. Shazia gave me a ride in her family limo and I showed up in the airport concourse with a ‘bon voyage’ balloon and dry eyes.
No tears, Celsi, dammit!
Luke had made that very clear. Just say bye, don’t turn it into a soapie moment. I intended to follow through on his orders, even my heart was aching. As soon as I walked into the main waiting lounge, Luke's eyes flicked towards me and he jumped up.
“I almost thought you weren’t going to show,” he whispered in my hair, holding me close.
I tossed my head. “What? And miss my chance to say bye to you? Never.”
“My planes about to board,” he said, his eyes inscrutable as they bored into mine. I felt the pit of my stomach drop at his words, bringing home the finality of this moment. He was leaving. It wasn’t a joke or a bad dream. Luke Astor was going away. “We should make this quick.”
I looked at him, really looked at him, trying to memorize every freckle on his soft skin, the bow shape of his perfect lips, the way his hair curled into his eyes. My head was filled with all the things I wanted to say but couldn’t because this was a tears free zone and if I started telling him what was really on my mind I wouldn’t be able to stop the tears from falling. So I put on my happy face and handed him the balloon. “From me, Shazia and Rob
yn. They couldn’t come see you off because Shazia was sure she would start crying and Robyn had a date with Todd.”
“She’s not still dating that guy, is she?” Luke asked interestedly.
I managed to force a grin on my face even though the last thing I felt like doing was smiling. “It’s been four months.”
“Trippy. Has it really been that long?”
“Yeah, it has,” I nodded, not trusting myself to speak.
Luke grinned. “We underestimated them, huh?”
“I’ll say.”
Over the speakers, a cool, magnified voice said, “Now boarding Flight 209.”
Luke's flight.
“That’s me,” Luke said, a rueful light in his green eyes.
My throat worked as I swallowed back tears. Not yet, Celsi. “Well, have a safe flight. Call me as soon as you arrive, okay?”
Nodding, Luke said, “You bet. Enjoy your vacation with your dad.” He leaned in to kiss me softly, his eyes miserable. I closed my eyes, melting into the sweet kiss as Luke's hands cupped my face. Pulling back, he whispered, “Stay safe.”
“You too, Luke. Take care.”
I turned my back on him and he turned his back on me as we went our separate ways, just as we’d discussed. No over-the-top emotions, no sappy cliché moments. Just simple and functional.
It felt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest as I stumbled my way through the waiting area, tears leaking from my eyes.
This is it.
No more Luke for a year. Who knew what was going to happen? How long could our relationship last with him overseas? Why hadn’t I told him I loved him?
Suddenly, a pair of arms wrapped around my waist and spun me around.
It was Luke.
I stared up at his flushed, upset face for a second before he hugged me.
“You honestly thought I was gonna let you leave like that?” he asked, his voice muffled as he squeezed me tight.
