No, he pushed away the idea. Nick had watched for her with every step since the ferry crossing. She’d made her choice to stay with Bartlett and he’d honored her decision at the time. The beginning of sunset brightened the eastern sky with gold. He nudged his horse into a gallop, wanting to go a mile or two more before dark.
The day raced to an end like he raced to Beth. Nick stopped when the last bit of twilight remained. He made camp in the open. Not his favorite place to sleep, but one guaranteeing to wake him at first light. He didn’t want to stumble around looking for water, so he built a fire first. Being near a dry creek bed didn’t help his horse’s thirst, so Nick drank first, then let his animal drink from his hand until the canteen emptied. Tired as he was, Nick still unsaddled and brushed his horse for the night. He’d not seen a campfire nearby and hadn’t passed anyone since dusk. Even though Nick felt safe, he kept his rifle close in case of predators. He had a quick bite to eat and lay down on his bedroll. For the first time in a long time, he was alone again.
As planned, the morning sun woke him with its new rays peeking over the hills. He sat, seeing his horse thirty feet away, grazing. He now needed to find water for both of them. Nick stood and packed what little he’d taken out for the night. Coffee sounded good, but that meant starting a fire, boiling the beans, and even more of a delay in finding Beth. And if he didn’t find her? Nick paused in saddling his horse, and then shook his head. He swung up into the saddle and signaled gallop to his ride. He slowed when finding the first clean water in miles and stopped for his horse. Nick took the time to fill his canteen while the animal drank. Not wanting to bother with food, he continued on at a rapid pace, rushing past camps just now awakening.
His fear of discovering her grave increased with every mile closer he rode to Fort Laramie. Nick swallowed, wondering how he would know her resting place. Unless the persons that dug her grave still waited to cross the river, he wouldn’t. His eyes watered at the thought of her in the ground. He wiped the tears before they could fall, glad no one would ever know. He sat up straight and nudged Buck into a slow gallop. She had to be alive, he reassured himself.
He topped the hill and saw the ferry below carrying people across. Riding down, the distance seemed shorter from higher up than it was. He waited, once there, to pay his fare.
The ferryman took the five dollars, grinning. “Not much call for folks to go back.”
Nick returned the smile, albeit with more teeth. “I’ll bet not.”
The stout man stood next to him still. “Ah course, some folks balk at poisoned water.”
“Don’t blame them.” He didn’t want to chat about the obvious. He wanted to reach the other side in an instant.
“Then others don’t believe the Territory to be any better.”
Nick suppressed an impatient grunt, instead using his manners, saying, “Probably not.” His mother would hear about this. He’d expect her approval for remaining so calm and civilized.
Leaning closer, he said, “Still, not much call for folks to go back.”
Nick nodded his assent, not giving in to the open ended statement. The idea hit him like lightning to ask the ferryman about Beth. The man had seen everyone crossing and had to remember her. “Tell me, have you seen a young woman going west by herself? She’s about yay high.” He held a hand up near his neck. “She has brown hair and green eyes, and was wearing a white dress with flowers on it.”
“Oh, well, I reckon I see a lot of young ladies cross.” He put a hand to his chin and scratched, thinking. “No, none of them were alone. There were some pretty gals matching your description, though.”
Damn. He’d hoped to hear a yes and the man point to exactly where Beth waited for him. As it was, he couldn’t get to the other side fast enough. They soon reached the opposite bank, answering his prayers. He glanced over and saw how the ferryman was busy with other customers. Nick took his chance to escape the chatter and look for Beth.
He resisted the urge to gallop around, calling her name. Instead, he went to their last campsite. Once where the Bartlett’s camp had been, he swung off the horse. Nick recognized her bedroll, now neatly folded with the pillow on top. Others discarded their belonging in this area too. So many items lay around, he couldn’t tell if Beth might still camp in this spot. He knelt, taking her pillow. Had the rainstorms reached here, and if so, had they washed away her scent? He smelled the fabric, too distracted with fear to detect any trace of her soap. Replacing her pillow, he stood and looked around at the people with their own groups. Nick tried to think of where else she might be, but his mind blanked. He needed to pick the first place to search. The fort, the river, Missouri, or worse, California? Had she tried to follow Bartlett and he’d not seen her in another group on the trail? The outcome Nick worked hard to ignore sprung to mind. Maybe she lay under his feet even now, or under the wheel ruts to where wild animals wouldn’t find and dig her up for food. He fought against a rising panic. “No, not that,” he whispered, unwilling to let her go.
Nick looked over at Fort Laramie, the safest place for a single woman to be. He wanted to search the fort first. Going to Buck’s left side, he put a foot in the stirrup.
“Nicholas?”
Chapter 14
“Elizabeth!” He freed his boot just as she reached him, hugging him with all her strength. “You’re here!”
She loved the feel of him. “I am! So are you!” They seemed to melt together. She wondered if he shared her relief.
He still held her in a bear hug. “Always, I’d always come back for you, sweetheart.”
“I wasn’t sure if you could.” Beth rather liked holding him this way, even in the open where anyone could see. “Mr. Granville might not have let you backtrack.”
Nick laughed at the idea. “Sam knew from the moment Bartlett said you’d been left here. No one had a choice over my returning, even if it were for the worst.”
Beth leaned back, unsure of what he meant. “The worst?”
“Yes.” He brushed a stray lock of hair from her face. “Your brother-in-law implied you passed away or was close to it when we left.”
“You thought I was dead and came back anyway? Why do that?”
“Because I care for you.” He kissed her forehead. “I needed to make sure I knew what happened to you, and Bartlett had been too vague for my liking.”
She took a deep breath, giving voice to the suspicions she’d had these past few days. “I’m sure he was. Daggart left me behind intentionally. My illness gave him the excuse.”
Nicholas laughed and said, “No one would do that. I can’t imagine leaving you behind in such a way, ill or not.”
“He would.” Before he could protest, Beth continued, “The night before you all left, he’d been talking about how expensive wagons were to ferry. A lone rider needed less fees to cross.”
“Why would he bring the wagon and leave you, then?” Nicholas loosened his hold on her. “Wagons and oxen are easier to replace than you ever will be.”
Her eyes filled with tears. Did he not see how expendable she was? “I’d like to think he’d intended to sell the wagon later. Otherwise….” Huge sobs escaped her and Nick pulled Beth closer. With her face pressed into his neck, she couldn’t stop crying. Relief of no longer being alone mixed with her assessment of her brother-in-law’s callous intentions. Nick held her, his body comforting as an old oak tree in a storm.
“What have you had to eat?”
“A few things.” She loosened her hold, but didn’t let go of him, needing the reassurance of his touch. “I found preserves still good. Plus, someone discarded flour, moldy in some spots but not others.”
He kissed her forehead. “I’ll fix you a decent dinner this evening.” Keeping his lips against her skin, Nick asked, “I’d prefer you not be alone again. Would you like to go to the shop with me?”
Beth shivered, “Across the river?”
“It’s not deep and you’ll be with me the entire time and mostly dry.” He leane
d back, looking at her face. “Does that help?”
She returned his smile. “Yes, very much.”
Nick hugged her again, so hard her breath left her in a whoosh. He laughed, letting her go. “Sorry, I’m just so very glad to have found you.”
“I am too.” She let him slide from her arms, resisting the urge to cling.
He took her hand, leading Beth to Buck, grazing several feet away. “I also want to get you fed and rested.” Once at his horse, he added, “We can leave at first light tomorrow, maybe later if you’re still feeling ill.” He got up on his mount, took his foot out of the stirrup for her and held out his hand.
She placed her right foot in the left side stirrup, using his help to sit sidesaddle behind him. Wrapping her arms around his waist, clasping them together at the front, she said, “I do feel a lot better and have for a couple of days. I’d found a lot of discarded food, not all of it spoiled. Coffee was scarce, but I managed to boil a few beans. Even drinking the hot water helped me.”
He turned to look at her. “I’m glad,” he said and kissed her cheek.
Her face burned from all the blushing caused by his tenderness. Nearing the water distracted her from Nick’s affections, and she asked, “Are you sure it’s safe?” Before he replied, she interrupted, “Of course you are, how silly of me. If it weren’t, you’d not risk your life like this.”
“Oh, I’d risk mine, but I’d never risk yours.”
Before Beth could reply, he nudged the horse into the river. She held on as they crossed, the water high enough to reach the bottom of their shoes. She swallowed against the rising feeling of nausea and fear. “I don’t like this.”
“I know, and it’ll be over soon. There’s an oxbow bend in the river here, and it’d be too far to go around instead of crossing twice.” He placed a hand over hers clasped around his waist. “Plus one more time across and we’re done with the Platte. Next time is by ferry, all right?”
“I’m glad.” She held onto him, focused on the warmth of him through his shirt. Her face rested against his back, and she felt his muscles move as he controlled the horse. Water leaked inside her boots. Beth yelped at the sensation then laughed at herself.
“Cold, isn’t it? I’m sorry about not warning you.”
Hearing the smile in his voice, she grinned. “Don’t fret. It just took me by surprise. As long as this is the only water I touch, I’ll be fine.”
“We’re more than halfway across,” he said, squeezing her hands.
“Good.” She snuggled into him a little more, grateful for his strength. He smelled like dust and leather.
Nicholas glanced back at her. “Don’t breathe in too deep. I can’t remember the last time I washed.”
Beth exhaled in a laugh, his quip catching her by surprise. “You’re not bad at all. I miss my soap, or I’d smell better than you.”
“Soap or no, you’d always be fragrant in a way I like.”
“Hm, yes, fragrant would be a word for it, certainly.” With a start, Beth realized they’d reached the opposite bank already. She’d forgotten to be afraid of the water. Their chatting kept her mind occupied.
He grinned and held onto her hands covering his stomach. The horse climbed up the bank and Nick reassured her, “We can retrieve your belongings once we reach everyone else. In the meantime, we can buy a few things for us at the post store.”
“We?” Before thinking, she blurted, “Unless there’s a mouse in your pocket with money, I won’t be able to shop until Daggart gives me something worth trading with you.”
“Your former husband is a topic for discussion after dinner this evening.”
“Oh?” The hard tone of his voice bothered her. Had she offended him by hinting he’d have to pay for her expenses? She’d not meant to be even more of a burden to him.
“Yes. We’re going to discuss your life without Mr. Bartlett and where you go from here.”
“I see.” She didn’t feel able to guarantee Daggart’s future actions enough to call him a former husband. “His abandoning me is rather surprising. He’d always valued Lizzy more than anything else in the world. Now, it seems gold is his true love.”
Nicholas didn’t reply, instead halting the horse in front of the store. When he held out his hand and removed his foot from the stirrup, she used him for support and slid off the mount. She stepped out of the way, brushing against another horse tethered to the hitching post. Already she dreaded going inside the crowded building. People turned sideways to get past each other through the door. “I don’t need to go inside and can wait out here.”
Done tying off his horse, Nicholas took her hand. “I’m here to keep you safe, ma’am, and you’ll do fine in there.”
His authoritative tone made her smile. “I’m sure I will.” He led her in, the cheese and pickled herring aroma strong and the air heavy with tobacco smoke. The crush and noise seemed less oppressive with him so close. She gave him a squeeze as a silent thank you and he squeezed hers as well.
At the counter, he brought her around to his left to be at his side. He put a hand at the middle of Beth’s back, a subtle, steadying touch she appreciated. When a shopkeeper addressed him, Nicholas said, “We’d like a pound each of flour, corn, rice, and coffee. Also, a half-pound of sugar and soda, and a quarter pound of your freshest cheddar.”
Beth took in her surroundings. While she didn’t care for the close quarters, all the sights and sounds interested her. Customers bought goods from shelves behind the counter. Others, soldiers and women she supposed were wives, sometimes placed orders for finer things. Like the general store at her home, this place stocked fabrics. However, the bolts lay behind the counter. She sighed at her foolishness. Wearing a new dress and yet she yearned for more. Once they reached the others and her belongings, she’d have enough clothes.
“If we were still in Independence,” Nicholas said, leaning into her, “I’d have Henry repeat my fabric and sundries order.”
“You wouldn’t!” Looking at his profile, Beth realized he’d bought her dress’s fabric just for her. Nicholas had noticed after all, she thought, and knew how much she’d wanted the material. “I can’t let you buy me so much.”
“You’re right. I don’t have the room to carry much else. I’ll have to find you a horse of your own.” He turned to the clerk, “How much for what we have so far?”
The man answered and Beth gasped at the amount given. She’d been keeping a running total of the items in her mind and Henry never charged so much.
“Very well.” Nicholas handed over the money. “As I was saying, I wouldn’t repeat the order entirely either. You’d have to pick another fabric.” He nudged her shoulder with his. “Unless, of course, you needed two identical dresses.”
“Oh no,” she smiled at the thought. “I wouldn’t want that!”
“Didn’t think so, sweetheart.” He led her out of the store.
Her face heated from his endearment. “I couldn’t let you do so anyway. Once for necessity’s sake is fine, but not twice.” Following him, she added, “Especially if the second is only because you enjoy taunting me.”
“Taunting?” He divided the packages among his saddlebags. “No, I enjoy seeing you wearing clothes and shoes that fit. You deserve that much, at least.”
Beth didn’t agree but smiled instead, not wanting to argue with him. “Are we ready to endure another round of wet feet and then no more water for a while?”
“That’s right.” He readied to help her astride. “Not until the ferry tomorrow or until you decide I need a dunking.”
She hopped on Buck and wrapped her arms around Nicholas as before. “We both could use one, I’m sure.”
He turned back to look at her. “I agree. I’ll even let you scrub the dirt from me.”
The gleam in his eyes warmed her through. Her palm felt the pulse in his stomach. “Washing my dress at the same time I wash me might be beneficial too.”
He grinned. That’s something I’d like to see.”<
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She shook her head. “Don’t expect to do anything of the kind, mister,” she said as he straightened and urged the horse onward. Beth leaned against Nicholas as the animal picked his way down the river bank and into the water. Prior experience helped ease her fears about going back to camp. Water filling her boots no longer alarmed her. She breathed in, slow and steady. The waves sloshing when others passed them at a faster pace unnerved her a little. Buck’s amble helped to calm her.
“I’m glad you’re not as fearful.”
“I am too.” She gave him a reassuring hug. “I don’t like being such a baby about this. It’s made the journey more difficult for everyone around me.”
Nicholas exhaled, seeming frustrated. “As difficult as you say you’ve been for everyone else, your fears are what bothers me most. There are more turbulent waters ahead. Or, at least, there is on the way to Oregon Territory.”
Beth needed to ask what he knew about the trail to California but only cared about Oregon. Closing her eyes, she wanted to pretend Daggart didn’t exist. If he didn’t give Beth her few remaining belongings willingly, she might be forced to accompany him just to keep her heirlooms. She shuddered at the possibility of ever seeing him again. What if he’d already left the Granville party? Would Nicholas go with her to retrieve her things, or would she be on her own? She asked, “Have you ever been to California?”
“Going to the gold fields may be different.” He shrugged, adding, “Mr. Lucky and possibly Chuck might know. They’ve been down that way.” The horse began climbing onto the bank, stumbling a little. Nicholas placed his hand over hers on his stomach. “Hang on.”
The way up jounced her so she did as he said and held onto him. When the horse had a solid footing, Beth said, “Thank you for seeing me safely over and back.”
Squeezing her hands, he replied, “My pleasure, ma’am.”
She let go of his waist. “I suppose there’s no need to hold you so tight.”
“Then I must find another excuse.” He held out a hand as support for her to dismount. When she gripped him, he turned her palm up to kiss.
Undeniable - Book One: The Oregon Trail Series Page 25
