by Kimbra Swain
“No, Tony and Tommy have her locked up for drugging me.”
“Oh, even better, you can go back to your life and not have to worry about any crazy women anymore.”
“The only one I worry about is you, Abby.”
“Oh please, you don’t care at all. I don’t care what Ashley says. You have sabotaged this over and over, and you are just waiting for the next chance to do it. Just pack your shit and go. Or better yet, just go. I’ll have it sent to you.”
“I’m not leaving Abby, and you don’t want me to leave.”
“You think if you make me mad, and make me shout, that I would get it all out of my system and everything would be square? You are wrong.” Her voice wavered that time. She was too smart. She knew I had provoked her on purpose. I counted on it. She needed to see my desperation.
“That’s exactly what I did. You needed to get it out. I needed to hear it.”
“Fuck you, Tadeas.” My first name. The wall started to crumble.
I walked toward her, and she put her hands up to stop me. “Abby, let’s fix this now. Don’t push me away. You’ve spent too many years alone. This world needs you.”
“You are right. It does need me, but it doesn’t need you,” she said quietly. She didn’t mean it, but when she got like this there was no stopping that vitriol.
“No, you need me,” I said.
“You are full of yourself. No, I don’t,” she said still holding her hands up between us.
“What do you want to do? We could go downstairs, and you could kick my ass if it would help.”
“Nothing is going to help.”
“Why? If you don’t care who I sleep with, why does it matter?”
“You are right it doesn’t matter. Excuse me,” she said and left the room. She didn’t cry until she got into the hallway. I looked up at George standing in the sitting room.
“Don’t give up, Son,” he said and pointed toward her.
Damn it. Apparently, I hadn’t abused myself enough. “Abby, wait!” I ran after her. She got to the top of the steps just before her bedroom door before I caught up to her. I turned her around to look at me.
“You should know that I would never do anything to hurt you on purpose. After the party, with the bond, everything we’ve been through, you should know,” I said in her head. I wanted to remind her that no matter what happened. We were still bonded.
“Don’t do that,” she said.
“Why? It’s part of us.” “There is no us,” she said. The tears had already dried on her face, and she barely held more of them back. There were times when I knew she just wanted to let it all go. She fought it so much. The problem with that is she would let it build up inside her, and it came out harsh and angry. I had known her long enough now to know that she wasn’t really that person.
“Yes, there is. In just a week's time, the world has tried to break us apart or kill us no less than three times, four if you count this. They are scared of us. There is an us.”
“Stop talking in my head,” she said and backed away from me, “Please, Tadeas.”
“Tell me what to do. I want to fix it, Abby.”
“I don’t think it can be fixed. Not this time.”
“You don’t trust me?”
“No, I don’t.”
“Why? I went straight to our people for help. Our people. I came straight to you even though I could hardly stand up. I hit the portal, and the jump made me sick I almost puked all over George’s carpet. I didn’t care. I had to get to you. I need you to help me. I need you to trust me. I can’t get through this without you.”
“Tadeas, I just don’t know that I can help,” I could feel her anger easing. I am the one that provoked it, and her words stung. If I ever had any doubts at all about her intentions toward me, I now knew she valued me more than just filling a job position. She cared about me even if she wasn’t up for admitting at the moment. She had shed tears over me. Her heart ached because of me. No matter what happened to us in the future, I knew right now beyond the anger and sharp words that our friendship, our bond meant something to her. It had been a very long time since someone cared that much about me, and I knew I felt the same way in return. I desperately wanted and needed her friendship right now. I needed her strength. The whole situation came to full realization to me right then and there. I looked at her, and even through her stoic gaze, I felt hope. It had been very long since I had a real source of hope. I would do anything to get through this. I made the choice. I offered her everything. No holding back.
“Look in my memories.”
“What? No, I can’t do it.”
“You can do it, can’t you? We sign the papers when we join the Agency. It can be done. If that is what it takes, then look. Maybe you can see things that I don’t remember. Maybe there is a way to see past the drugs. To see what happened to me. I want to know, and you are the only one I trust to do it. Please don’t turn away from me now. Please help me,” I pleaded.
She shook her head.
“I am willing to let you look at anything you want in there. You can dig around all of it. I have nothing to hide. Please Abby. I need you to trust me.”
“My child,” George said from the bottom of the steps. I didn’t know if he directed it to me or her, but his eyes were fixed on her. His face looked grave and solemn.
“Don’t interfere, George,” she said.
“You know it doesn’t work like that child. Look and see. Your heart will never be settled until you know the truth,” he said. I wanted to hug him. I looked back at her.
“Please, Abby,” I pleaded.
She turned without a word, and walked down the stairs to the basement door under the steps. George motioned for me to follow her. I walked by him and he muttered, “I did what I could. The rest is up to you.”
“Thank you, George.”
I followed her downstairs into the sparing room. She sat down on the floor with her legs crossed. I sat down facing her and crossed my legs.
“There is no good way to do this,” she said.
“What do you mean?”
“I have to touch you. I have to get close. Just give me a minute to calm my mind,” she said.
I sat quiet and still. I tried to settle my mind, too. I did not know what she would find there. If I had really been with Meredith or not. I couldn’t remember. How could it be in my memories? But maybe at the very least she will see that I truly didn’t remember. We sat quietly for about five minutes, maybe longer I wasn’t sure.
“Are you ready?” she asked.
I nodded at her. “What do I need to do?”
“Just sit still, I’ve got to move closer,” she unfolded her legs and took her hands and moved mine to make me unfold. She moved between them on her knees, and placed her hands on my temples. “It won’t hurt, and it will only take a minute. If you want to back out, now is the time.”
“I’m not backing out, if you aren’t,” I said.
She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. “Tadeas Nahuel Duarte, do you give me permission to look at your memories? I swear on my power not to do you any harm.”
“I give you permission,” I said as her oath swirled around me. It felt warm and comforting.
“Memento.”
I felt wind stir around us, and her hands turned to ice. She sat on her knees deathly still. Her heart beat a steady rhythm. Her eyes were closed, and I prayed. Please God let this work.
I focused on the last time I saw him in Ichiro’s lab. I could connect my last memory to his as a starting point and go from there. Everything inside of me said I should not do this. I was angry and hurt. This was not going to help anything. I did not want to see him with her. I whispered the word, “Memento.” I focused on my memory. I saw him standing there after he put his clothes on in the lab.
“It will take more than a bullet to stop us. See you in a little while,” he said and turned away from me. I latched on to the memory in his head and felt myself follow him out like
a ghost stalking its prey.
“Don’t mess this up Duarte,” Ashley said to him. God bless her. I wouldn’t even be doing this if she hadn’t insisted on the phone that I give him a chance. That he truly had been drugged, and that he was scared and desperate when he showed up in the lab.
“I’m trying not to,” he responded and got in the elevator. I did not want to actually enter his head. I did not want to know his full thoughts and emotions. Even though he told me I could see whatever I wanted, there are things that are sacred. I would not go there. He got to his floor, and stepped out of the elevator. The door to his apartment was cracked open. He approached it cautiously. He slowly opened the door, and Meredith sat on the couch smiling at him.
“Come sit down,” she said and patted the cushion.
“How did you get in here, Meredith?” he asked suspicious of her from the beginning. I hadn’t wanted to connect to his emotions, but they came through loud and clear. I suppose it is because he trusted me with them. Or perhaps it was the bond.
“The door was unlocked. I thought you were home. I know about the accident. You look rough. You are covered in bruises.”
“Yea, I was with Abby out working, and wrecked her car,” he said.
“Are you okay? Is she okay?” “Like you care about her,” he said sharply to her.
“Actually, that’s why I am here. I do care. Besides getting in car accidents and neglecting your class, I think this job offer has been a good thing for you. You seem excited about it, and I wanted you to know that I’m sorry I’ve been such a pain. Perhaps I misjudged her, but this job will be extremely dangerous. I’d never want anything to happen to you.”
He moved over to the couch and sat down. He tried to keep his distance from her. He did not believe what she said to him, and that at any moment she would unleash her fury on him again.
“I made some coffee. Be right back.”
He watched her go in the kitchen. He looked back at the door of his apartment. The impression I got was that he as suspicious mainly because he knew he had locked the door when he left. She came back with a steaming mug, and handed it to him. She did not have one. “Thanks,” he said as he lifted it to his nose and took a long whiff.
“After visiting you upstairs, I felt like I needed to talk to you. They were all very upset about your condition and taking good care of you. I wanted to talk to you. I realized that they were becoming new friends to you. That you haven’t made friends in a very long time. I came here and I decided to wait. You said she’s okay?”
He sat the mug down without drinking. She winced. He noticed it. “Yes, she’s fine. I got shot. It’s all healed now.”
“What!” she exclaimed and moved next to him on the couch. He moved away from her a bit. “Where did you get shot?”
He pointed at his chest. She tried to lift up his shirt.
“Meredith, stop, it’s fine. She healed it.” He pushed the shirt back down and didn’t let her look. She didn’t move away from him. He wanted to get up and move away from her. She ran her hand down his left arm, and it rested on the bracelet that I gave him.
She looked down and pouted. “I hate you getting hurt like that. You aren’t used to being in the field. You’ve got to take better care of yourself if you are going to do this. What would I do without someone to yell at for no reason?” she said playfully. He did not laugh or even smile at her.
He picked the mug back up. “I’m fine. We are going to do a lot of good. I would really like you to support it. You have been my friend for a long time. It would mean a lot to me.” He blew on the coffee.
“Cyrus called down to me and told me you were in the accident. He told me to check on you in Maki’s lab. I’m sorry if I intruded, but I needed to know you were okay.”
“Meredith, why are you really here?” He still didn’t drink the coffee. She confused him. She talked in circles. She stalled the conversation.
“Because I wanted to know if you would lie to me about being out with her. She looked pretty upset that you were harmed,” she whimpered.
He sat the coffee back down. “I have never lied to you, Meredith.”
“Really? Because you know I’m in love with you, but you just keep me around just in case you get bored or until something better comes along. You have to know by now that you aren’t going to shift and hurt me.”
“Meredith, you may be right about leading you on. But I honestly, I didn’t do it on purpose. I’ve only ever saw you as a friend. Nothing more,” he picked up the coffee cup and took a sip. He looked down at it, and back up at her. He took his coffee black, and he knew immediately something was wrong. I could feel the alarm going off through his whole body. “What’s in this coffee?” he demanded.
“We are having a serious conversation, and you are talking about your coffee! You are breaking my heart, and you are worried about your coffee! Well, you should be worried about it.” His eyesight started to blur. He sat down the cup, and it missed the coffee table and spilled on to the floor. He tried to get up. I felt the wave of fear and desperation roll over him. He looked over at her and tried to speak. He fell over on to the floor, and she stood over him. She shook my bracelet in his face and waved goodbye. Heartless bitch. He groaned and tried to fight. His body would not respond to his commands. It made me ache inside. I felt him think about me. He tried to reach my mind as we had been doing over the last couple of days since the bond really took hold of us. But his mind clouded and he couldn’t concentrate. He tried to call my name, but his mouth wouldn’t move. His memory blurred at that point. It was not completely black though. I could hear voices. I definitely heard another man. I could feel his body being moved, dragged across the floor. The man grunted. Tadeas mumbled something. Tadeas’ face jerked to the right, and his cheek started stinging. Someone slapped him. And the memory went dark.
I could feel my anger welling up inside me. Anger at myself for distrusting him and immediately thinking the worst of him. Anger at her for everything. Anger at him for being too kind and giving her the opening. Pure utter rage ripped through me. I couldn’t be mad at him for being kind to her. It was part of him. One of the things I most liked about him. There are too few kind-hearted people in the world, but this was a stark reminder of what happens to the kind-hearted in this world.
When he opened his eyes again, I saw him grab his phone in a panic. It was broken. I heard her mutter something. He turned to see her in the bed, and he jumped out and away from her. He yelled at her. I had seen enough, but I heard the last thing she said to him, “I told you that woman would be the end of you, and I’ll do whatever it takes to get you away from her.” I pushed myself out of his memory, and sat still for a moment with my hands on the side of his head. He did not move. It was almost like he wasn’t breathing. I tried to calm myself. I had to decide what to do, even if he did sleep with her, he didn’t remember it. She clearly intended to rape him, at the very least she violated his trust and his body. Most guys would never admit to that. Just the fact that he sat here with me indicated he was willing to do whatever it took to get the truth, and prove it to me. I had not treated him any better. He came to me, and I gave him hell. I dropped my hands to his shoulders and opened my eyes. He waited for me to say something. I wrapped my arms around his neck, and held on tight. He put his arms around my waist and pulled me to him. Neither of us said anything. She did this to him on purpose. She did it more to hurt me than him. I vowed to kill her if it was the last thing I did. “Talk to me,” he said in the quietest whisper using the bond between us.
“I am going to kill her,” I said back.
“No, you aren’t.” Ever too kind.
“I want to,” I assured him quietly.
“What did you see?” I let myself finally hear the fear in his voice. The desperation.
“I could not see any more than what you told me. You told me everything you knew, except one thing, there was someone else there.”
“What?” he pulled back from me.
“It was a man,” I said. I told him what I had found out beyond his memory which wasn’t much. I told him that I knew he had tried to reach out to me. He sat there on the mat. I could tell that it relieved him that I had come to my senses. My anger turned to self-hate. I had given him hell upstairs, and he continued to push me. It didn’t take him long to figure me out. I needed to become a better person for him. “Upstairs, I failed miserably as your partner and friend. From the moment I met you, I’ve pushed for you to trust me. When you finally did and needed me the most, I failed you. You would think that someone my age would have just a tad bit of perspective and maturity. I have many lessons to learn. Thank you for coming to me. Thank you for going to Ashley and Ichiro for help. I promise in the future I will learn to get over myself.”
“Let’s not talk about age, because I’m pretty sure that the last time I checked we are the same age. I knew you would come around. It’s why I pushed. I believe in this now. I’m not letting it go,” he said. We reached the point where the apology was not needed. He leaned in and put his head on my shoulder. My brain kicked into overdrive as I sat there and held him. Meredith had a man there. It would either have to be Cyrus MacCormack or Travis Reed. Those were the only two suspects. It also occurred to me that Samantha Taylor was outside that door for the sole purpose of upsetting me and sending me on my way. I heard a cell phone ringing. George came into the room and nodded at me. I reached out for the phone and clicked it on. Tadeas did not move. I could feel how exhausted he was.
“Hello,” I said.
“Hey, I am sorry to bother you, but I sent the videos to your email. You need to see them. We have a bigger problem,” Ashley said.
“I know. We need to get Travis Reed and Samantha Taylor out of the training center and in lock-up along with Meredith,” I said.
“How did you know? Never mind. Tony and Tommy already went down there after them. They are gone. Meredith is gone, too.”
“What? How? She was in the warded room, correct?” I asked. Tadeas leaned back and looked concerned.
