I could kill Doug. Not only did the asshole rebook concerts without talking to me, he scheduled them back-to-back. I barely get a break before we’re off to the next city for another show. He left me no time in between to come home. I’m literally going to leave in the morning and not set foot in this house again until July. My daughter is going to be six months old the next time I see her.
“Promise me that you’ll FaceTime me every day so I can see Scarlett Leighton . . . and so she can see me and hear my voice.”
“I will. Every day.”
She sniffles and looks up, dragging her fingertips across the top of her cheekbones. “I’m sorry.”
She looks down, hiding her face from me.
“What’s wrong?”
She wipes away more tears from her cheeks and shakes her head.
I cross the room and sit on the edge of the bed next to her. “I heard you on the phone arguing with someone. Your ex-husband?”
She nods. “Yes, but that’s not what is upsetting me. I couldn’t care less about that jackass.” She looks up at me, and I see true heartache and agony in her eyes. “Tomorrow is my daughter’s birthday.”
Shit. It’s Sadie’s birthday, and I’m scheduled to walk out on Leighton?
“I’m sorry. I had no idea that it was tomorrow.”
“Of course you didn’t know. There was no way you could.”
“Is that why your ex called?”
“He used her birthday as an excuse to call, but his real motive was all about him and making himself feel better.”
“Feel better about what?” The agony on Leighton’s face is genuine. And sobering. “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”
“I think for the first time in my life, I do want to talk about it. I want to tell someone about the truly horrific thing that he did to me. I think it’s the best way for me to heal and move on.”
She moves to the other side of the bed, making room for me. I scoot closer and get into a more comfortable position while still facing her. I like to look at her face when she talks.
“I found out that Sadie was stillborn, and my doctor admitted me to the hospital later that day. I was too far along in my pregnancy for a D and C. The only way to deliver her was to induce labor.”
“They gave you medicine to make you have contractions at five months?”
“Yes, but my body wasn’t ready for her to come, so it was a very long process. It took more than a day. Brad was in and out the whole time, sometimes leaving me there by myself for hours.”
“Your parents weren’t there with you?”
“My dad doesn’t fly, so they were driving to Texas from Florida and hadn’t made it in yet.”
Leighton blinks rapidly and looks up toward the ceiling. “Long story short: I was alone when Sadie was born. Only the doctor and nurses were with me.”
What an asshole. “Where was Brad?”
“He left me there while I was giving birth . . . to be with another woman.”
The fucker couldn’t even stop cheating while she was giving birth? “That’s so fucking bad that I don’t even know what to say about it.”
“I’ve never told anyone that he did that to me. I was too ashamed . . . humiliated . . . devastated to tell anyone the truth.”
“The shame isn’t on you.”
“I know that now, but I didn’t back then. I blamed myself for every problem in our marriage. I wasn’t pretty enough. I wasn’t skinny enough. I wasn’t a good enough wife. It took me a long time to figure out that it didn’t matter who or what I was. Brad was a selfish, cheating asshole. It’s who he is as a person, and there was nothing I could have done differently to change that.”
“How did you end up married to such a rotten motherfucker?”
“I didn’t see it before we married, and it was too late by the time that I figured it out.”
“You’re divorced. Why is he still bothering you?”
“Not sure, but I put an end to it. He won’t be calling me anymore; I’m done, and he finally understands that.”
“Good. I don’t want him bothering you.” But if he does, I have my own ways of making him stop.
“You’re sweet.”
“Only to you and Scarlett.”
“And your mom and your grandmother and your sister and Ellie.”
I chuckle. “Don’t let that get out. I have an image to maintain.”
“Oh, okay,” she whispers. “I’ll keep it on the down low.”
I point to the pink and white box on her bed. “New shoes?”
She shakes her head. “No.”
She lifts the top, and I immediately recognize baby items. “This is my memory box for Sadie. I opened it tonight for the first time since she was born.”
“Are you okay?”
She shakes her head, and tears form in her eyes again. “I thought I was, but I can’t stop crying.”
Leighton’s hurting, and I want to make her feel better. Even if that means I do nothing but stay by her side tonight.
I get up and take off my boots before lying down beside her on the bed. “Come here.”
She scoots close and I wrap my arm around her, pulling her body against mine. “It’s okay. Cry all you want, Leighton.”
She drapes her arm over my stomach and buries her face against the side of my chest. Her body shudders, and then she makes a gasping sound for breath.
This isn’t what I wanted tonight. This isn’t how I planned on parting ways for two months.
Can’t lie. I wanted to fuck Leighton ninety-nine different ways tonight. And I think she would have let me if the circumstances were different.
But she’s in pain. And right now I want to comfort her more than I want to fuck her.
***
I slept next to Leighton in her bed last night, holding her body against mine. Fully clothed. Not one single sexual act. And it was enough.
I try to pull away without waking her, but I’m unsuccessful. “It’s time for you to get up?”
“Yeah. It’s really early, so go back to sleep.”
“Will you come say goodbye to me before you go?”
“Of course.”
I get into the shower, and the only thing on my mind while I wash my body is the way that Leighton felt against me last night. Damn. Her small little frame and its curves fit perfectly against my body.
I close my eyes and wrap my soapy hand around my erection, imagining what it would feel like moving in and out of her. I suspect that she hasn’t been with a man in a while. I bet she’s tight as a coil, and my cock would be a snug fit inside her.
I can’t remember ever wanting a woman more, but to make a move on her at such a vulnerable time would have made me a bigger dick than her ex.
I don’t have long until it’s time to leave. I stayed in bed beside Leighton longer than I should have. But even after lying next to her all night, I wasn’t ready to leave her side when morning came.
I go into Scarlett’s nursery for a final look at her before I leave. I rub her back with my palm because I need to touch her, feel her warmth. I lean over the crib’s railing and press a kiss to her forehead. Dammit, I’m going to miss this little girl so much.
I knock on Leighton’s door before entering. “Come in.”
She gets up from where she’s sitting on the side of the bed. “Time to go?”
“Yeah.”
I could stand in front of her, searching for words to disguise the ache that I feel inside, but I don’t see the need. Not when I want her to understand that leaving is killing me—and that she’s half the reason why.
I go to Leighton, pulling her into my embrace, and hold her the same way I did last night. Her arms wrap around my middle, and her grip around me is firm.
“Dammit, I don’t want to go.”
Her grip tightens. “And I don’t want you to go.”
We move at the same time and the side of her face rubs against mine until our mouths are so close that I can fe
el the warmth of her breath on my skin.
I want to kiss her.
So. Fucking. Bad.
Her breath has increased and deepened. It’s much louder.
I think that she wants me, but I’m not used to this kind of thing: a woman who isn’t completely clear about what she’s willing to give. I’ve not had to read the signals in a long time, and it’s maddening. I wish she’d just come out and tell me what she wants.
The timing is all wrong. Today marks a fragile day for her. I can’t make out with her or toss her on the bed and fuck her fast and then walk away. But I also can’t leave without letting her know that I feel something happening between us. And that I want it very much.
I lace my fingers through the back of her hair and hold her tightly while I place a soft, sweet kiss against her mouth. She trembles and grips the back of my shirt, pulling me closer. Our mouths separate but are still so close that we’re sharing the same breath when I press my forehead to hers. “We will finish this when I come home.”
She nods. “I want that, Judd. Very much,” she whispers.
There it is. The confirmation I wanted to hear before I go. It somehow makes leaving easier because I know what will be waiting on me when I return.
I press one final kiss against her mouth. “I will see you in two months.”
Chapter Twelve
Leighton Mitchell
I FEEL JUDD’S ABSENCE EVERY moment of every day. We text, talk, and FaceTime as much as possible, but it’s only a tiny bandage for a gaping wound.
My heart aches for him. And so does my body.
He’s been gone for four weeks. A whole month. Feels like a year.
I try to fill the empty days with things to take my mind off of his absence. Diane sometimes comes to stay with Scarlett so that Ellie and I can go to lunch or shop, but it’s only a temporary distraction. My mind always goes back to him.
I’ve been naughty, buying some pieces of sexy lingerie to wear for Judd when he comes home. At least I hope I get to wear it for him. Being apart for so long could change everything. He may forget the sweet kisses that we shared when another woman is standing in front of him, prepared to give him anything he wants.
I can’t go through that again. I’d prefer to never feel love if it’s going to end in that kind of agony.
My phone alerts me to an incoming call. Hard to believe that my heart still sputters when I see Judd’s name on my phone. “Look, Scarlett. It’s Daddy.”
She’s sitting on my lap, sucking her index and middle fingers—something new that she’s been doing lately.
“Hey Daddy.” I hold Scarlett’s wrist and wave her hand at the phone.
He chuckles. “Hey baby girl. How is Daddy’s princess today?”
“Our angel has been tugging on her left ear for a couple of days. I suspect that she could be getting an ear infection. She hasn’t been cranky, so I don’t think she’s having pain. It could be nothing, so I’m going to give it another day and see what happens before I call to make an appointment with the doctor.”
“She doesn’t look unhappy.”
I hold the phone so Judd can get a better look at her. “Tell Daddy that you’re always happy, even when you don’t feel good, because you’re the best baby ever.”
“Oh, I’m very aware that she’s the best baby ever.”
“She’s sleepy. I kept her up because I knew you’d be calling.”
“I’m sorry it’s later than usual.”
“What city are you in tonight?” They move from one city to the next so quickly that I can’t keep up.
“Atlanta tonight. I go on stage in an hour.”
“Where’s the next show?
“Memphis on Saturday night.”
“At least you get a small break.”
“A day and a half isn’t a break when you’re on the road driving.”
“Well, it’s better than back-to-back nights like you’ve been doing.” Judd is exhausted. I hear it in his voice every time we talk. I see it on his face when we FaceTime. “A good manager doesn’t do that.”
“One more month, Leighton. All I’ve got to do is stick it out a little longer, and then I’ll be home with you and Scarlett.”
“I know, but I’m ready for you to come home now.” More than he knows. I miss him like crazy.
“I’m ready too.”
His eyes leave the camera, and I can tell that he’s looking at the doorway of his bedroom. I may not have ever set foot on his bus, but we’ve been FaceTiming long enough for me to know the complete layout.
“Hold on a minute.”
I think Judd puts his phone to his shirt because the screen goes black. That bothers me. Makes me believe that there’s something he doesn’t want me to see.
“What are you doing on my bus?” he says.
“I wanted to see you before we go on.” It’s a woman’s voice. And that bothers me. A lot.
“I’m FaceTiming with my daughter and her nanny.”
Her nanny. Yes, I am the nanny, but I thought I had become more than that after the special moment that Judd and I shared before he left.
Was it a proposal or profession of love? No.
But it was more than my being only Scarlett’s nanny.
A woman’s face appears on the screen. Blonde. Tons of makeup. Lots of cleavage. And she’s lying on Judd’s bed. “Ohh . . . is this Scarlett? She’s so cute, Judd.”
“Give me my phone, Laura. Now.”
The woman waves at us. “Bye, Scarlett. I can’t wait to come out to the ranch to meet you.”
The screen goes black for a moment before Judd’s face appears again. He’s rubbing his stubbled chin. Silent.
My heart aches. I was so afraid that he would have other women in his bed while he was on the road. And I see now that I wasn’t wrong to have that fear.
“I guess you need to go since you’re going on stage soon.” I move the phone so that it’s only Scarlett’s face on camera. I don’t want him to see the tears in my eyes. “Say bye-bye to Daddy.”
“Leighton . . . that was not what it may have looked like.”
“It’s okay, Judd. I’m just the nanny. You don’t owe me any kind of explanation for anything you choose to do.”
“You aren’t just the nanny. I didn’t mean it that way, and I do owe you an explanation. Laura is one of my backup singers. She was just playing around. There’s nothing between us. Her husband plays bass in my band, and he was standing right here the whole time.”
I’ve been down this road before, heard a man’s lies and believed them, and I don’t know if I can go there again or not. All the leaves on my trust tree have fallen.
But I also can’t make a big deal out of it; it’s not my place. Judd has promised me nothing. We kissed before he left. Not even passionately.
“Don’t worry about it. It’s okay.”
Scarlett bucks and fusses, and I’m glad—gives me an excuse to end this FaceTime. “It’s Miss prissy pants’s bedtime. I really need to give her a bottle and put her down so that she doesn’t get off schedule.”
“Okay, but we’re not done with this conversation. I want to talk about it tomorrow.”
I still don’t let Judd see me . . . or my tears. “Say bye-bye to Daddy.”
Chapter Thirteen
Judd Mathews
LEIGHTON DIDN’T BELIEVE ME. I couldn’t see it in her eyes because she hid her face after the incident with Laura, but I could hear it in her voice.
I’m not Brad, and I can’t have her believing that I’m like that asshole.
Thirty-two days.
More than a month away from my baby girl. Leighton has gone to great measures to make sure that I’ve seen Scarlett every day via FaceTime, but it isn’t the same as being there with them.
She’s growing so fast, and I’m missing it.
She’s reaching milestones, and I’m missing them.
She’s forming bonds, and I’m not one of them.
But Leighton is.<
br />
Scarlett and Leighton are becoming deeply attached to one another . . . like mother and daughter. I don’t mind. Scarlett needs strong connections, but as her daddy, she and I should share the most special relationship.
I ended my FaceTime with Scarlett and Leighton last night and booked the first flight I could get home. That’s how important it is to me that Leighton understands about the incident on the bus.
I left my band and the bus outside of Atlanta to move on to the next city without me. I told Doug that I’d be back for the show in Memphis on Saturday night, and I will be, but he’s still pissed off.
I just don’t give a damn. I have to see Leighton and Scarlett.
I miss the fuck out of them.
I didn’t tell Leighton that I was coming home. She believes I’m on a tour bus departing from Atlanta to Memphis. I want to surprise her, but I also don’t want to give her a heart attack because she hears me and thinks that I’m an intruder in the house.
Judd: Where are you?
Leighton: Nursery. Rocking Scarlett to sleep for her nap.
Judd: Don’t be scared.
Leighton: Don’t be scared of what?
Judd: I’m in the house.
Leighton is looking at her phone, her brow wrinkled, when I stop in the doorway of Scarlett’s nursery. “I’m home.”
She looks up, her mouth agape. “Judd . . .”
I walk across the room and look down at Scarlett, already asleep in her arms. “I had hoped that she’d be awake.”
“I would have kept her up if I’d known you were coming home.”
“I wanted to surprise you.”
“Well, you succeeded.” Leighton scoots forward and holds Scarlett out for me to take. “Here. I know that you’re dying to get your hands on her.”
I take Scarlett from Leighton and cradle her in my arms. She squirms for a moment before settling. It’s impossible to not notice how her body stretches across my arm more than it did the last time I held her. “I can’t believe how much bigger she is.”
“She’s had a big growth spurt while you’ve been away.”
I see that.
A whole month. It isn’t right that I’ve been away from my daughter for that long. “I thought I could do it, but not seeing her has been killing me.”
Wanted: Adored (Kindle Worlds Novella) Page 6
