Beware the Power of the Dark Side!

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Beware the Power of the Dark Side! Page 1

by Tom Angleberger




  © & TM 2015 Lucasfilm Ltd.

  Interior art by Ralph McQuarrie and Joe Johnston

  Cover art by Khoa Ho

  Designed by Pamela Palacio and Jason Wojtowicz

  All rights reserved. Published by Disney • Lucasfilm Press, an imprint of Disney Book Group. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without written permission from the publisher. For information address Disney • Lucasfilm Press, 1101 Flower Street, Glendale, California 91201.

  ISBN 978-1-4847-1220-7

  Visit the official Star Wars website: www.starwars.com

  Contents

  Title Page

  Copyright

  Dedication

  Author’s Note

  Jabba’s Palace Chapter One: In Which Two Robots Plod through an Endless Desert

  Chapter Two: In Which We Meet Jabba

  Chapter Three: In Which the Droids Knock at Jabba’s Door

  Chapter Four: In Which a Plan Is Revealed

  Chapter Five: In Which the Droids Are Welcomed into the Palace

  Chapter Six: In Which We Meet Jabba and His Guests

  Chapter Seven: In Which Jabba Laughs at Luke’s Message of Peace

  Chapter Eight: In Which the Droids Are Taken to the Dungeons

  Chapter Nine: In Which Jabba Provides His Guests with Entertainment

  Chapter Ten: In Which Mighty Chewbacca Is Chained

  Chapter Eleven: In Which Han Solo Wakes

  Chapter Twelve: In Which Leia Is Enslaved

  Chapter Thirteen: In Which Old Friends Reunite at Last

  Luke Skywalker, Jedi Knight Chapter Fourteen: In Which Luke Enters Our Story at Last

  Chapter Fifteen: In Which Luke Confronts Jabba

  Chapter Sixteen: In Which the Rancor Feeds

  Chapter Seventeen: In Which Jabba Is Angry

  Chapter Eighteen: In Which the Prisoners Are Taken to Certain Doom

  Chapter Nineteen: In Which Luke Walks the Plank

  Chapter Twenty: In Which All Is Chaos

  Chapter Twenty-One: In Which the Princess Rescues the Princess

  Chapter Twenty-Two: In Which All Ends with a Bang

  A Galaxy at War Chapter Twenty-Three: In Which Our Attention Turns to the Empire and Its New Death Star

  Chapter Twenty-Four: In Which a Switch Is Flipped

  Chapter Twenty-Five: In Which Jerjerrod Hopes Darth Vader Will Look at Some Paperwork

  Chapter Twenty-Six: In Which Vader Does Not Look at the Paperwork

  Chapter Twenty-Seven: In Which Luke Returns to Master Yoda

  Chapter Twenty-Eight: In Which Luke Learns the Truth

  Chapter Twenty-Nine: In Which Obi-Wan Returns

  Chapter Thirty: In Which Luke Confronts His Old Master

  Chapter Thirty-One: In Which the Emperor Arrives at the Death Star

  The Rebels Prepare to Strike Chapter Thirty-Two: In Which the Rebellion Makes Bold Plans

  Chapter Thirty-Three: In Which Mon Mothma Tries to Talk Sense into the Princess

  Chapter Thirty-Four: In Which the Emperor Makes His Own Plans

  Chapter Thirty-Five: In Which Lando Gets the Falcon Back

  Chapter Thirty-Six: In Which the Rebel Plan Begins

  Chapter Thirty-Seven: In Which the Rebels’ Trick Fails…Yet Works

  Chapter Thirty-Eight: In Which Luke Realizes His Mistake

  Endor Chapter Thirty-Nine: In Which We Finally Come to a Nice Place

  Chapter Forty: In Which Imperial Biker Scouts Get a Break from the Boredom

  Chapter Forty-One: In Which Everyone Crashes

  Chapter Forty-Two: In Which We Meet Wicket

  Chapter Forty-Three: In Which Darth Vader Is Sent to Endor

  Chapter Forty-Four: In Which Our Heroes Walk into a Trap within the Trap

  Chapter Forty-Five: In Which the Ewoks Meet a God

  The Ewoks Chapter Forty-Six: In Which Our Heroes Are Reunited

  Chapter Forty-Seven: In Which a Feast Is Held and a Tale Is Told

  Chapter Forty-Eight: In Which Darth Vader Arrives on the Forest Moon of Endor

  Chapter Forty-Nine: In Which Leia Learns the Truth at Last

  Chapter Fifty: In Which Our Heroes Become Honorary Ewoks

  Chapter Fifty-One: In Which Luke Confronts Vader

  Chapter Fifty-Two: In Which the Night Passes Slowly on Endor

  The Power of the Dark Side! Chapter Fifty-Three: In Which Ackbar Launches the Rebel Fleet

  Chapter Fifty-Four: In Which Two Droids Trip and Stumble through a Forest

  Chapter Fifty-Five: In Which Luke Faces the Emperor

  Chapter Fifty-Six: In Which All Goes as the Emperor Has Planned

  Chapter Fifty-Seven: In Which the Rebels’ Beautiful Plan Turns into Chaos

  Chapter Fifty-Eight: In Which the Emperor Feels a Dark Joy

  Chapter Fifty-Nine: In Which the Falcon Flies into the Nightmare

  Chapter Sixty: In Which an Improbable Idea Is Discussed

  Chapter Sixty-One: In Which the Ewoks Sound Their Hunting Horns

  Chapter Sixty-Two: In Which Our Heroes Are Back in Action

  Chapter Sixty-Three: In Which the Emperor Has Yet Another Trick to Play

  Chapter Sixty-Four: In Which Time Ticks Away

  Chapter Sixty-Five: In Which Two Ewoks and a Wookiee Are Too Much for an Imperial Walker

  Chapter Sixty-Six: In Which the Princess Saves the Day

  Chapter Sixty-Seven: In Which Luke Gives in to the Dark Side

  Chapter Sixty-Eight: In Which Han Tries His Idea, and Let’s Hope It Works, Because the Rebels Are Really Running Out of Time

  Chapter Sixty-Nine: In Which Luke Meets His Destiny

  Yub Nub! (Freedom!) Chapter Seventy: In Which the Rebels Raid the Death Star

  Chapter Seventy-One: In Which the Whole Thing Explodes

  Chapter Seventy-Two: In Which the News Reaches Endor

  Chapter Seventy-Three: In Which Two Fires Burn on Endor

  Chapter Seventy-Four: In Which We, Too, Join the Party Before Saying Good-Bye to Our Heroes

  Endnotes

  Author Biography

  This book is dedicated to the earthbound, but amazing, members of the 501st and Rebel Legion!

  GO RIGHT AHEAD and skip this and head straight for Jabba’s palace with R2 and C-3PO. You can always come back later….

  Wow, man…Jabba’s palace! Incredible! The greatest thing ever! Next to the trench run in A New Hope and the AT-AT attack in The Empire Strikes Back, and the mynocks and the Imperial Royal Guard, and Nien Nunb and Lando flying the Falcon, and Han and Chewie flying the Falcon, and Obi-Wan fighting Grievous, and Fives on the run, and every scene with Yoda…

  There’s just so much to love about Star Wars. And I wanted to cram as much of it as I could into this book. I wanted to give you a story overflowing with the crazy details: What lives in Jabba’s nose? What did Mon Mothma say to Leia? How did the Ewoks kill stormtroopers?

  And in fact, the story did overflow into footnotes, which you can also skip if you get in a hurry.

  Star Wars is important to me. And I wanted to write a book for other people who feel the same way.

  George Lucas and huge teams of incredible people made this great movie back when I was a kid. I saw it and I loved it. I really loved it.

  And now it’s up to me (with help from a small team of incredible people, like my editor, Tomas Palacios) to tell you a story you probably already know.

  Not every story is worth reading if you already know the ending.

  But this story is.

  This story is the re
bels’ last hope. It’s the treacheries of Jabba and the heroics of the Ewoks. It’s Princess Leia zooming through the trees on a speeder bike. It’s Yoda’s final words of wisdom. It’s the Emperor’s sick smile. It’s ZAP-ZAP, SCREEESH, and KAPOW! And it’s yub nub and beep-whistle and WHHHHRRRRRUUUGGG!

  I waited three years to see this story on-screen when I was a kid; then I bought the action figures and trading cards (red set); and then I waited for the video to come out years later. I had a blast retelling it as an adult.

  The story is Star Wars: Return of the Jedi.

  And this is my version. I hope you like it.

  TOM ANGLEBERGER

  A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away….

  Luke Skywalker has returned to

  his home planet of Tatooine in

  an attempt to rescue his

  friend Han Solo from the

  clutches of the vile gangster

  Jabba the Hutt.

  Little does Luke know that the

  GALACTIC EMPIRE has secretly

  begun construction on a new

  armored space station even

  more powerful than the first

  dreaded Death Star.

  When completed, this ultimate

  weapon will spell certain doom

  for the small band of rebels

  struggling to restore freedom

  to the galaxy….

  AN ENDLESS DESERT.

  Two robots.

  Two robots plodding through an endless desert.

  Fear not, reader! It will get better!

  But not every story can start with a bang. Or a wampa attack, for that matter.

  It’s where the story is going that counts, and we’ve got a big bang coming and an even bigger bang after that and a whole lot of medium-sized explosions, implosions, fireballs, crashes, smashes, lightsaber battles, and evil dark lightning in between.

  You may know all about those already. If so, you know that your patience will be well rewarded once we get through this endless desert.

  So, we plod on!

  Two robots…an endless desert…plod, plod, plod…

  Yes, it really is an endless desert. It fills this whole planet. You might wander around forever and see nothing but sand…that is, until someone—or something—pops out from behind a dune and eats you.

  But our brave heroes plod on and on under the scorching heat of Tatooine’s twin suns. They are droids. Sort of like robots, but better.

  One is golden and tall, walking on legs like a man. The other is white and short, with three legs, a bunch of tiny, retractable arms, and a silver dome that spins around so that he can keep an eye on things.

  Together they have had many adventures and faced many dangers and now they plod on through this deadly desert without fear or complaint.

  Well, perhaps a few complaints.

  “We’ll never make it Artoo,” says the tall one, C-3PO.1 “Sand is already accumulating in my servomotors and my joints are freezing up!”

  “Beeep whirr,” replies the short one, R2-D2, and although we cannot be sure what this means, it has a reassuring sound to it.

  “Almost there?” snaps C-3PO. “How can you say that? You have no idea where we are. We’ve been wandering for ages.”

  “Bleeee blip!”

  “Following the road? What road? This is like no road I’ve ever seen.”

  It was a road…once. Leading through the Dune Sea to a monastery. Though crumbling and near forgotten in these days of landspeeders and suborbital hoppers, the road still leads to the same place, but that place is no longer a monastery.

  In fact, it is quite the opposite. It is the unholiest of all places on this unholy planet…the monastery is now the lair of intergalactic crime lord Jabba the Hutt.

  At last, the droids pass a rocky outcropping and see Jabba’s palace in the distance. C-3PO’s relief circuits barely get warmed up before his self-protection mode kicks in again.

  “We’re doomed!”

  “Breeep!” Again, a reassuring tone from the small droid.

  “Of course, I’m worried,” fusses C-3PO.2 “And you should be, too. Poor Lando Calrissian never returned from this awful place.”

  “Whirrr.” A less confident tone this time.

  “If I told you half the things I’ve heard about this Jabba the Hutt, you’d probably short-circuit!”

  As they enter the shadow of the building, a small creature darts across the road behind them, running fast on its twelve legs. But not fast enough!

  That rocky outcropping turns out to be not a rocky outcropping at all, but some sort of desert predator. In an instant, it has cracked open a huge toothy mouth, shot out a long tongue, caught, chomped…and gulped down the creature, twelve legs and all.

  And now it closes its mouth, settles back into the sand, becomes to all appearances a rocky outcropping again, and waits for its next victim.

  And, ahead of our robotic heroes, Jabba is waiting, too.

  JABBA THE HUTT is a giant, evil space slug.

  And like a slug, he’s rather helpless on his own. Tiny arms, no legs, no armor, no weapons.

  Well, he does have one weapon—his mind.

  A mind vile and corrupt even by Hutt standards. By the sheer force of his own greed, he has risen to the top—or perhaps the bottom, depending on your point of view.

  As the most feared crime lord in the galaxy, he can afford to hire all the help he needs—smugglers, thieves, bounty hunters, and plenty of piglike warriors to guard his palace.

  Just as a slug prefers to hide under a rock, Jabba has chosen a dark, damp place for his palace. The nicer rooms are like a dungeon and the dungeon is…unspeakable.

  It’s a fortress, really. So deep in the dunes that the desert itself is all the defense generally needed. Even so, under Jabba’s orders the old monastery was obsessively fortified by master armorers.1

  Yes, it’s the perfect place for this rancid crime lord to slither away and hide, wallowing in his slimy pleasures and chortling over his ill-gotten treasures.

  And his newest treasure—for which he had to pay the cunning bounty hunter Boba Fett a medium-sized fortune—is Han Solo.

  Solo is well-known now as a hero of the Rebel Alliance, but not all that long ago he used his mighty spaceship, the Millennium Falcon, for smuggling, not freedom fighting.

  He and his copilot, Chewbacca—the great, hairy Wookiee—ran into some trouble and had to dump their load of “spices.” Unfortunately, these quite illegal goods belonged to Jabba, and the crime lord did not take the news well.

  Solo, unable to pay back the price of the spice, paid a different sort of price: captured by the heartless bounty hunter Boba Fett, Solo was encased in a block of carbonite—a process that left him alive but frozen in time.

  And there he lies—or, rather, hangs—on Jabba’s wall. His hands reaching out helplessly, his eyes wide with terror, and his mouth stuck in the same scream of pain, Solo will remain like this forever if Jabba has his way.

  And Jabba always has his way.

  He rather likes looking at Solo’s frozen agony. Normally, a victim’s suffering is over all too quickly. But this way Jabba can slowly savor Solo’s pain.

  Safe in his dark hole, the slug can fill his belly with forbidden, still-kicking foods, lick his barely dressed slave dancers, and bask in the worship of his minions, henchmen, servants, and toadies.

  And if the wearying work of running a criminal empire ever gets him down, he can turn his terrible orange eyes toward Solo and find new reason to let out one of his stomach-turning giggles.

  And when Jabba really giggles—really finds something worthy of merriment—even the worst of the criminals who sit at the foot of his throne cower inside.

  WHO CAN BLAME C-3PO for hesitating at the door of this fearsome building?

  “Artoo…are you sure this is the right place?”

  “Whrrrr.”

  “I better knock I suppose.”

  He lightly raps his thin
metal fingers against the monstrous iron gate, so thick that a Gamorrean battle-ax would be needed to knock properly.

  “There doesn’t seem to be anyone here, Artoo. Let’s go back and tell Master Luke.”

  “TEE CHUTA HHAT YUDD!” screeches a barking metallic voice.

  This is not, of course, the voice of R2.

  It is instead coming from a speaker attached to an electronic eyeball on the end of a long mechanical arm, which has just popped out of a small hatchway in the door.

  The eyeball glares quite rudely at C-3PO.

  “Goodness gracious me!” exclaims C-3PO. Then, recalling his programming as a protocol droid and master of six million languages, he introduces himself.

  “Seethreepiowha bo Artoo Detwoowha.” He points to R2 and the eyeball snakes over to have a look. “Ey toota odd mischka Jabba du Hutt.”

  Now the eyeball whips back to focus on C-3PO again. It lets out a grating laugh and zips back into the hatchway, which slams shut.

  “I don’t think they’re going to let us in, Artoo. We’d better—”

  “Whhrrrr—” begins R2, but he is interrupted by a terrible screech.

  The massive door is slowly rising upward, revealing nothing but blackness ahead.

  R2 looks at C-3PO. C-3PO looks at R2. And R2 rolls ahead into the gloom.

  “Artoo, wait!” pleads C-3PO. “Artoo, I really don’t think we should rush into this!”

  But already, somewhere in the walls, the unoiled wheels and gears have reversed and are now closing the great door again.

  What choice does C-3PO have? He must rush in, too, or be left out, alone in the endless desert.

  So he steps forward into the darkness.

  “Oh, Artoo! Artoo, wait for me!” cries C-3PO.

  Behind him, the door continues to screech its way down until, with a horrible crash…BOOOOOOMKKKKRRRRRRT.

  It closes.

  TWO DROIDS against a castle full of evil thugs and a giant, even more evil space slug? You might ask: What foolishness is going on here?

 

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