“Yes, I clearly do think I can do that,” I say sternly. “What I mean is, that I write the stories that I want to write. I publish them. People seem to like them. Love them actually. I have a number of people writing me how much they enjoy my books. But what am I doing wrong again?”
“So, this, what you are doing, you think this makes you an author?”
I put my fork down and lean back in my chair. I glance over at Aiden, who seems to be just as dumbfounded by the whole situation as I am.
“Yes, that’s exactly what it makes me.”
“Agh, I’m sorry,” he grunts, throwing his hands up in the air. “But I don’t think so. Writers are vetted. They work hard on their writing. They spend hours editing and proofreading.”
“And who told you that I haven’t?”
“They submit their manuscripts to agents. They get dozens of rejection letters. They keep submitting until finally someone takes them on.”
“Bill, I think we’re getting off track here,” Aiden says, trying to veer the conversation back to the case. But I put my hand on his. I want to hear this.
“Or you can do all that work and just put the book out yourself,” I say. “I won’t lie. I did what you are talking about as well. But no one took me on. So, one day, I said, fuck it. I’ll just put my books out directly to the readers. Who knows, maybe they’ll like them. And guess what? They did. And guess what? That’s what EL James did, too. Sometimes, it takes a whole bunch of readers to get someone in the publishing industry to finally take an interest in your books. They can be a bit behind the times.”
Bill shakes his head.
“No, I refuse to understand that.”
“Well, you don’t really have to,” I say sarcastically. “You could just accept it, like gravity.”
Perhaps, that was a bit too much of a sarcastic smartass comment, but he’s really getting on my nerves now. He’s supposed to be my attorney. We’re not supposed to be here debating the state of the publishing industry together. I mean, what the hell does he care about it anyway? Unless…
“It just pisses me off,” Bill says. “I worked and worked on my thriller. A good one, too. Nothing worse than what John Grisham writes. And no one cares. I mean, I submitted it to everyone. And then I published it myself. Crickets on both accounts. Nothing. Sold maybe a few copies to family and friends.”
I can’t believe the words that are coming out of his mouth. So, his problem with me is that he’s angry that his book isn’t selling? Yet, instead of asking me for help, for some advice about how to advertise, he just goes on a rant about my own work? What an asshole.
“I think I need a new attorney,” I say, turning to Aiden. Normally, I would keep my mouth shut. Bite my tongue. But not this time. I have too much on the line and I’ve been through too damn much. I’m no longer the quiet, meek girl I was before. No, this time, when someone offends me on purpose, they’re going to hear about it.
“What?” Bill asks with a slight gasp.
“I need a new attorney,” I say loudly. The tone of my voice is definitive. Decided. My mind is made up.
“What are you talking about?” Bill asks. He is only now realizing that he has underestimated me.
“They arrested me for a crime I didn’t commit. The last thing I need right now is some wannabe writer complaining about the quality of my writing just because you can’t sell your book. That’s not my problem. And I don’t need you representing me if you feel that way about me.”
Bill’s mouth nearly drops open. “I didn’t mean anything by it,” he starts to say, but I don’t want to hear it. I’ve listened enough.
“I can’t trust you,” I say. “You go off on a rant about my writing. First, you say the jury won’t understand me. Won’t sympathize with me. But then the truth comes out. You are just a jealous asshole who wants to put me down. Well, I don’t have time to deal with your ego. I need an attorney who believes in me. He doesn’t have to like my writing, but his goal should be to have them let me go free. Not to help them put me in jail.”
“That’s not my goal,” he mumbles.
I just roll my eyes. “Sure sounds like it.”
And with that, the conversation is essentially over. Bill continues to make an effort to explain himself, but just ends up digging himself into a deeper hole. He talks and talks as Aiden walks him out of the hotel room. But none of the words he says go one step in the direction of trying to explain how he’s going to attempt to deal with the District Attorney. Instead, he just tries to explain himself and apologize without actually apologizing.
After Aiden closes the door, he walks over and takes me into his arms.
“You are…amazing,” he whispers.
I smile and kiss him on the lips.
“That was unexpected,” he continues.
“You aren’t mad?”
“Mad? Why would I be mad?”
“That I fired this wonderful lawyer you found for me,” I say. “I don’t want you to think I’m ungrateful.”
“Oh, hell no. That guy was an ass. And the sooner we got rid of him the better.”
“Really?”
Aiden presses his lips to mine and, for a brief moment, I feel like it’s all going to be okay.
“We’re going to find someone much better tomorrow. Someone who will believe in you and have a good rapport with the DA.”
“I like that,” I say.
Chapter 29 - Ellie
When we have sex…
I never knew what people were talking about when they said that there was a comfortable silence between them until I met Aiden. Around him, I don’t feel the need to chat non-stop and fill the air around us with useless words. It feels good to just be with him.
I lie down on the bed and Aiden lies down next to me. He practically nuzzles up next to me, putting his head on my arm. I glance down and see how his biceps flex with each movement and something stirs within me.
“Hey there,” I say with a wink.
Aiden narrows his eyes, assessing the situation. “Hey there,” he responds.
I decide against beating around the bush. “I want you.”
“Oh, really?”
“Yes, really,” I say.
“Hmm, I don’t really know if I’m into it right now,” he says. Is he joking? I can’t tell.
“Ellie,” he says, turning my head toward him. “I’m not serious, you know.”
A big smile comes over my face. The goofy expression on his face disappears and he leans in and brushes a soft kiss against my lips.
“I missed you,” I whisper. I look up at him. There’s that familiar gaze of adoration. It’s more than just infatuation, something from afar. No, this is different. He’s looking at me and really seeing me. For who I am.
“I want you,” I whisper. He closes his eyes and then opens them again.
“You’re the most beautiful woman in the world,” he says. I know with every fiber of my being that he’s telling the truth.
Aiden leans close to me. He presses his lips onto mine and pushes his body onto mine. His lips are now forceful. Stronger. More powerful. I feel every muscle in his body and the strength of him is disarming. It’s as if every part of him is saying that nothing bad can ever happen with this man by my side.
His kisses get harder and harder. Each one borders more and more on pain, but the good kind. The kind that sends shivers through my whole body. As I push back at him, I feel him rise above me, just a little bit, and then we melt onto the bed.
Quickly, our bodies begin to move as one. I feel his manhood in its full glory, bulging out of his pants. I take it out. I have to see it. I need to feel it. His hands make their way down my body. There is no trepidation or hesitation. He’s an expert now. He knows exactly what I like.
A few quick movements and I’m suddenly completely undressed. He is shirtless and his hard chest is heaving over me. He slides his hands back up and across the curves of my hips. He kneels down and runs his tongue up around my hip
bones. He veers north toward my belly button, teasing me and making me wet. Then he makes a quick turn south and heads toward my thighs.
As I lie down on my back, I see the way that my body rises and falls with each breath. I close my legs forcefully to keep myself from getting too aroused, but it’s too late.
“I’m so…hot,” I whisper, burying my hands in his hair.
Aiden continues to tease me. He kisses me along my non-existent panty line, well below my belly bottom, but not quite all the way in between my legs. Before he even reaches inside of me, I feel a wave of pleasure start to build in between my thighs.
“Oh, wow, you are aroused,” Aiden says. Before I can confirm, he thrusts himself inside of me releasing a waterfall of emotion.
“Aiden!” I whisper breathlessly. Riding the wave, I grab onto Aiden’s firm buttocks and squeeze as hard as I can. They feel firm and powerful in my hands and I use them to guide him in and out of me.
“That was fast,” Aiden whispers in my ear, kissing my neck. Now he is comfortably inside of me, making himself at home. This is the way it’s supposed to be, I think. This feels so right.
But as he glides in and out, slowly at first, and then faster and faster, the area in between my legs starts to beg for him. I yearn for him.
I feel his whole body tense up as his movements get faster and faster. I wait for him to climax, enjoying each moment, and then another wave of pleasure thrusts through me.
“Oh..Aiden!” I moan his name in pleasure.
Chapter 30 - Ellie
Later in bed…
Lying in the afterglow of all that romance, and love, and sex all balled into one, I feel much better about my whole predicament. There’s something about releasing all those endorphins that suddenly makes it feel like everything’s going to be okay in the end. Besides, I’m kind of a sap. Optimist, if you will. I believe that everything is going to be okay in the end. And if it’s not, then it’s not the end.
I glance over at Aiden who has his head propped up with his hand. He’s lying on his side with the sheet just covering him a little bit. I bite my lower lip because I sort of want him again.
“Don’t take this the wrong way,” he says.
“What?”
“You promise?”
I narrow my eyes and look him up and down. “Well, I can’t really promise anything like that, can I? Until I know what you’re going to say.”
“Okay, okay.” He waves his hand. A big smile broadens his face.
“What? What is it? You’re freaking me out.”
“Okay, don’t take this the wrong way, but I’m starting to see the baby.”
I glance down at my quite visible stomach. It’s bigger than a pouch now. Now, there’s something definitely in there.
I give him a little wink.
“You’re beautiful. So, beautiful,” he whispers. “I just can’t believe that you’re having my baby.”
I shake my head and bury my face in his shoulders. It’s hard to explain how it feels to have someone be there for you through your pregnancy. This would be the hardest part of my life up to this point even if I weren’t going through all that other stuff. And to not have him beside me right now and fully supporting me? Well, I just don’t know. I have mad respect for all those single mothers out there and pregnant women who are doing it on their own.
“Why did you think I would get offended?” I ask after a moment.
“I just wanted to convey that I think you are beautiful. I didn’t want you to think I thought you were fat or anything like that, just because you are showing so much.”
I look down at my belly again.
“Am I really showing that much?”
I stand up and walk over to the floor length window. Oh. My. God. I am showing. A lot. This baby is practically protruding out of me. It’s funny how days tend to pass without you really looking at yourself. I mean, I’ve taken showers and gotten ready. But I haven’t really seen myself.
“The baby is quite big now,” I say.
“How far along?”
“Um, let’s see.” I try to count back to the last time I saw the doctor. It wasn’t that long ago. And yet, I have practically no memory of it.
“It’s either nineteen or twenty weeks now,” I say. “I think. The last bit of time is all blending together if you know what I mean.”
“I wonder why.”
I go back to the bed and sit down next to him. I wrap myself in the sheet and run my fingers through his hair.
“So, I was thinking,” he says after a moment. “What do you think about finding out the gender?”
I smile. I’ve been meaning to talk to him about that, but there wasn’t really any time.
“I really want to know,” I say. “I wasn’t sure if you did though.”
“I do,” he says.
“But my doctor is back in New York. And I’m not allowed to leave the state.”
Wow, those words sound so odd coming out of my mouth. I am actually out on bail. I’m prohibited from leaving the state. Whose life is this? Definitely not this quaint little English major who spent all of her days reading books and writing stories.
“That’s okay. I can schedule an appointment with someone here.”
“Okay, let’s do that,” I say as he pulls me back on top of him. “By the way, that’s not really what it’s called anymore.”
“What do you mean?” Aiden asks, moving a few strands of hair out of my face.
“Gender. I mean, they do call the parties ‘a gender reveal,’ but it’s not really the gender that we’re finding out. It’s the sex.”
“What’s the difference?”
“Gender is a socially-constructed concept. People are born a particular sex and then they become a specific gender. Like someone can be born a woman with a vagina, but they may grow up and identify themselves as a man. She may feel like more of a man so she can then refer to herself as a man and use the ‘he’ pronoun.”
Aiden thinks about this for a moment. “That makes sense.”
“So, when we go get an ultrasound, we will find out the sex of the baby,” I clarify further. “Do you care what it is?”
“You mean, boy or girl?”
I nod.
“Not one single bit,” he says almost immediately.
“Really? I thought that guys always wanted to have a boy.”
“And I thought that girls always wanted to have a girl,” he challenges me.
I shrug. “You know, come to think of it, I don’t really care either. I’m actually excited to find out.”
Chapter 31 - Ellie
The following afternoon…
The following morning we meet with more lawyers. I’m still getting used to just the kind of important guy that Aiden is, because they all come to our suite. I thought we would spend the day waiting in big glass buildings where everyone is dressed in expensive suits, but instead he doesn’t even get out of his pajamas. I get dressed up by putting on a pair of leggings.
We meet with three attorneys, each one seems sort of like the other. We talk briefly about the case and ask them questions about their other clients. Aiden really takes this part over for me. He feels terrible about what happened with Bill Whitney and his unprofessionalism and is making up for it by grilling the new prospects. When the last one leaves, he turns to me to see what I thought.
“I really don’t know.” I shrug. “I mean, how do you even evaluate how good a criminal law attorney is anyway? Until the thing goes to trial, that is.”
“Let’s hope that it won’t get that far.”
“Really? Is that still a possibility?”
“I have hope,” Aiden says, tilting his head. “Hey, what do you think about Thurston?”
“The lawyer who got me bail? He seemed alright.”
“He was very eager. But also confident. Not lazy,” Aiden says, measuring him up. “I’m going to have another chat with him.”
I smile at him. I like seeing him back in command.
After watching him lying there lifelessly in the hospital room, this is quite a change. It reminds me of the man I first met. The man who I fell in love with. That arrogant, cocky stranger who bid on me at the auction. I get a little excited thinking about that again.
“What is it?” Aiden asks, sensing my change in mood. I smile a little at the corner of my lips.
“What?” he asks again, pulling me closer to him. I sit down on his lap. I lower my head and kiss him on the lips. He reciprocates by pressing into me. I run my fingers over his hard chest. He buries his head in my hair, sending shivers down my spine.
“Are you in the mood for a little break?” he asks.
“Depends. What do you have in mind?”
“I want to do bad things to you.”
“Oh, really?” I feel myself get a little flushed.
“Mr. Black wants to do bad things to you,” he clarifies. I close my eyes. I’ve been wanting to do something like this for some time now.
“I’d like that,” I say slowly.
“You’d like what?” Mr. Black asks.
“I’d like for you to do bad things to me…Mr. Black.” My whole body tenses in eager anticipation of what’s to come. I point my toes to release some of the tension, but it’s to no avail.
“Hmmm, let me see,” Mr. Black says. He raises his chin, lost in thought. “How shall I punish you, my dear?”
There’s that word again. Punish. It’s unassuming and not at all dangerous and yet it makes my heart jump into my throat. In a good way.
Without another word, he suddenly opens his legs and pushes me onto my stomach on his lap. He’s careful to make his way around my belly, making more room than necessary in between his legs. With one swift motion, he pulls down my pants, exposing my butt.
Suddenly, my whole body starts to shake. In a good way. From anticipation. We’ve never done anything like this before and the excitement is even making me sweaty. Mr. Black runs his hand around one of my butt cheeks, giving me a little smack. Then he does the same thing to my other butt cheek. Moving the rest of me closer to the ground, so that my head is practically resting on the floor, he opens my legs.
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