A sigh escaped me, and Turner mistook its meaning.
“I don’t like that guy,” he said. “I haven’t since the first time I met him.”
My response was quick. “Then why hasn’t someone done anything?”
He let out a breath. “When I came back, they were already married.” He looked up at the stars and said, “I went to your Father.”
That shocked me. Had he had feelings for my sister?
“He knows, Bails. They all know.”
My shocked expression became stunned speechlessness.
“You father said that if they were to act, Mike threatened to take Violet away.” He paused as I sucked in a breath. “And you saw her.”
I nodded letting him continue.
“They think it’s better to keep the devil among them, than to let her go away with him.”
“They knew all along. Why did they allow him in the community?” My mind was a blur with anger and fury at the council for allowing this to happen.
He held up a hand to stop me. “No, he played his cards right. He had them all fooled until sometime after he married her.”
My fist clenched. Vi deserved better than this. We were brought up to love one another equally, but Vi and I shared a bond that went deeper than I had with my other siblings. We were our parents’ first two children. Father brought a bride from outside and let her name the both of us before he took over that duty. We’d been rebels in our own way. Maybe not outwardly, but in our private conversations we fought against the bonds that held us to the traditions we were expected to live by.
“What can we do?’ I asked. But really I already knew the answer.
“Nothing.” His voice was flat and resigned.
I on the other hand wasn’t reconciled to that. I had to believe that if I could convince Vi to leave this man, the community would stand behind her. Divorce wasn’t something we were brought up to believe in. But Turner’s words had encouraged me.
It was the silence that encased us that fortified me. There weren’t loud voices raging from the house. Hopefully the big bad wolf was tamed for the night.
“You don’t have to stay,” I said. “It looks like things have calmed down.” My relief allowed me not to worry about my sister for the moment.
With my hands in my lap, I faced him. We’d been sitting side by side. When he turned to me, our lips were seconds apart. And before I could stop him, he was kissing me. His lips were softer than I remembered. His kiss was more skilled than the clumsy teens we’d been. His hand cupped the base of my skull as I kissed him back. My mind argued with me. I felt as if I was betraying Kalen, but then I remembered that I’d cleared that air between us a day or so ago.
Time had not changed much. I loved Turner, and it was easy to be with him this way. It felt natural, almost like it was meant to be. And there was love in my heart for this boy, now man. Yet, it wasn’t the fierce passion I felt when Kalen was near.
Comparing two guys probably wasn’t the best idea at a time like this. I should be focused on the man in front of me. He pulled me closer until I landed in his lap. His fingers created a slow trail of goose bumps down my arm. His other hand on my waist sent a cascade of butterflies into flight in my belly.
Separation for just a moment allowed us to breathe. “You don’t know how long I’ve waited for you to come back.” His eyes, dark in the night, were unreadable. “Come back to me,” he added.
And I should’ve stopped him. I should’ve told him that I wasn’t sure I could give him what he wanted. But I was human. And so much had gone wrong in my life over the last few months, being with Turner felt right.
His kiss was slow and languid. He tasted of fresh berries, and I found myself greedy for more. Time took a tumble and so did we. We landed on the soft earth with him astride me. Neither one of us seemed to care if we were caught. He was gentle, everything Kalen wasn’t.
It wasn’t easy, but I pulled back. “We should stop,” I breathed. My heart was unsteady for more than one reason.
“Why?” His voice held calm and not any concern.
With a half-smile, I responded, “We aren’t teenagers anymore. Kissing out on Vi’s front lawn isn’t exactly what I had in mind.”
A cocky grin spread on his face as his eyes continued to stare at my mouth ready to devour me at any moment. “What did you have in mind?”
My mind was hazy and thoughts of Kalen still clouded them. I didn’t think he would appreciate my honesty. “Just that when we decide to go there, it won’t be on someone’s front lawn.” I knew my face expressed more than my words did. I wasn’t the best of liars.
He licked his delicious lips before all humor died from his expression. He rolled off me and pushed his hands through his hair. “Is it that guy you’re engaged to?”
My face heated. He was talking about Scott. “No.” I looked down and let my fingers dance across the grass. “He’s out of the picture.”
His finger lifted my chin so I could face him. “There’s someone else.” It wasn’t a question.
I tried desperately to look away, but he held me firm with his stare and his finger under my chin. “It’s complicated,” I admitted.
Hurt crossed his face. “There was a time you trusted me with your secrets. I guess that all changed when you decided to leave.”
That wasn’t true. And he was right. So I let the words spill from my mouth. I told him everything that happened from Scott to coming here. I did leave out the details of my sexual relationship with Kalen, including the specifics on how we met.
“This Kalen guy is rich, and you found out someone was embezzling money from his company,” he said by way of summarization.
I reluctantly nodded.
“And you guys were told not to see each other. Now you’re here kissing me.”
“It’s not that simple. I broke things off with him.”
It was his turn to nod, but his arms fell away from me. I took that as a sign and moved out of his lap.
“You’re not over him?” It may have been phrased like a question, but it was said very firmly as if I shouldn’t bother to deny it.
Honesty was important. And Turner was important to me. “Maybe not, but this,” I said gesturing my fingers between us, “goes to show that I’m hardly over you either.”
“I’m just going to put this out there,” Turner said. “I love you. I always have and maybe I always will. I thought I was over you.” His voice sounded almost desperate. “But this,” and he used two fingers to point at himself and then at me, “says, I’m hardly over you either.”
Now it was my turn to finger comb my hair in frantic need of the right answer. “I don’t know.” Was it right to lead him on? I still had feelings for him. He was my first love and my best friend. It’s not easy to let something like that go.
“Maybe we should give ourselves a real chance, Bails.”
Flat on our backs, we faced each other. The moonlight shone like a beacon and made him look so angelic. It would be so easy to give in and just be with him. Clearly though, I’d made all the wrong decisions in the past. It wouldn’t be fair to him to dive in when I wasn’t sure what I wanted out of life.
I thought about my three relationships. I’d run from Turner and the life here in the community. I’d run from Scott and his philandering ways. I’d run from my job and Kalen. I really needed to get myself together. I couldn’t hurt Turner again.
Rolling onto his side, he used his palm to cup my cheek. “I know you feel this too.”
I had to ask. It was a question that plagued me. “What about Beth?”
“What about her?” he asked sounding contrite. It was clear there was nothing going on between them based on his answer.
“The last time I saw you, the two of you were together.”
He rubbed his eyes. “It was mistake. You’d come home, and I heard about your boyfriend. I was pissed. She was in the wrong place at the wrong time. And I used her. I feel like an asshole about it. But that’
s the truth. There wasn’t ever anything between us.”
“Did she know that?”
“I told her the truth of it.”
That I didn’t doubt. I trusted Turner to tell me the truth. He had no reason to lie because in a small town like this, I would find out. Plus, if he had something going on, my father would have mentioned it. The only thing left was for me to be honest with him.
“I can’t stay here forever.” There I’d said it. I closed my eyes not wanting to see pain in his.
“I know.” His hand left my cheek and took my hand. “I can’t stay here either, especially without you.”
“And before I showed up, what were you going to do?”
“Peace Corps. That was the plan.”
I couldn’t believe it. Thinking about it though, I knew it was fitting. I could totally see him doing something so selfless. That’s who he was. “Wow, yeah, wow.” I was speechless.
“You could join me.”
I rapidly blinked my eyes. “That’s an amazing thing to do. And I admire anyone who takes on such a task. You know, I kind of feel bad to say this, but I’ve had a lifetime of roughing it.”
A heavy sigh escaped me. Before I could listen to his disappointment, I continued on. “I think living here has given me a better appreciation for life, and I don’t need things. But I like watching TV. I like electricity. I like plumbing in the house. And maybe I’m a bad person, but I need these things. Again, not in abundance. Coming here again just showed me I’m not ready to give those things up.”
“How about Habitat for Humanity? I could design efficient housing for those in need. We wouldn’t have to rough it,” he quickly offered with a small laugh as if he had this alternative in his head.
“I could do that,” I said truthfully. “Maybe they would have need for someone to keep an accounting of everything.”
Turner must have loved my answer because he kissed me. When he pulled back, his smile was infectious. I grinned at him, but then I said, “Just because I could doesn’t mean I will.” I saw how my choice of words sounded like I’d agreed to something.
“That’s okay. Just say you’ll give us a shot.”
His puppy dog hopeful look slayed me. So I nodded, and he kissed me again and again and again. His kisses were like honey, slow and sweet. Even as the temperature continued to drop, I was warm in his arms, warm in my heart.
“We should go inside,” he said when we finally stopped making out like horny teenagers.
“We?” I frowned.
“There is no way I’m leaving you here alone with that asshole.” He stood and held out a hand. I lifted up on one elbow and reached so he could help me to my feet.
Inside, it was dark except for the low burning fire in the hearth. We climbed a ladder to the loft. I didn’t question his choice. Mike seemed like the kind of creeper who might come in the room to check on me.
In the limited light, I could still see there wasn’t much up there but a blanket. Together we used it to create a palette. Turner cocooned me in his embrace and it was terribly easy to get lost in his arms. So comforting was his touch, I immediately drifted asleep.
Chapter Seven
A soft kiss to my neck and a warm body to my back made me squirm. “Lass, you’ve spoiled any chance of me getting a good night sleep without your body next to mine.”
His lips moved lower and forced a giggle from me. “You’ll do just fine without me.”
“Never,” he declared. His brogue so thick, it rumbled from his chest into my back. “I’ll never let you go, lass. You belong to me.”
Lips kissed the nape of my neck and slowly slid down my spine. Firm hands spread my legs and one eager finger submerged into my wet heat. I gasped. “Oh,” I moaned. Another finger slid inside, I could feel the fullness in me. But Kalen was thicker than that. He shoved another and a cry left my lips.
“Are you ready for me, lass?”
“Yes,” I breathed.
It wasn’t his shaft that penetrated me. A tongue flicked across my bundle of nerves igniting the fire that burned for him before heading inside me. He worked me stroke by stroke, changing from finger to tongue and back again. His other hand found my breast and tweaked my nipple to a hardened peak.
Another moan and I reached for his thick black hair and found nothing. My eyes shot wide open. Taking in my surroundings in the dark, I could only feel not see very much. The fire had burned down leaving less light than before. There was a warm body at my back. There was a hand on my breast, a kiss at my nape. A hand was pulling the layers of my dress up passed my knees.
“Bails,” a whispered voice said, but it wasn’t Kalen.
I rolled out of Turner’s embrace. On my side, I faced him. With distance between us, the faded light showed his expression held uncertainty.
It wasn’t that I regretted his presence or touch. It just felt dirty that I’d been dreaming about another man. Flashes of last night came over me. Hadn’t I agreed to try and see if this could work with him? It wasn’t fair if I couldn’t get another guy out of my head, my dreams.
“I’m sorry. I guess I was dreaming.” My guess was that if my moans and cries from my dreams hadn’t spilled into my reality, he’d assumed they were for him. He said nothing in response, so I thought for sure I hadn’t spoken my dream moans aloud.
“Come here, I promise not to molest you in your sleep again unless you want me too,” he teased.
A smile replaced my concern. I moved closer and allowed him to pull me into his arms. I closed my eyes again and hoped I wouldn’t dream.
My eyes fluttered open to see daylight creep across the floor in a slow band of gold. What also stirred in the house below were voices.
“So what’s up with you and my baby sister?” I couldn’t see Violet but there was a long pause. Not feeling Turner at my back, I knew he was downstairs with her.
He didn’t answer.
“I mean she’d probably be really mad if she ever found out I had a thing for you.”
The air stilled in my lungs.
“But it’s not like there are many great options around here. And I get it even if Mary didn’t.” More pauses. “I mean she was determined to have whatever Baily had. That’s why she married Thomas you know. When you turned her down, she focused on the other boy that vied for Bail’s attention.”
“Mary’s a determined girl.” Turner’s response was almost cold.
“That she is,” my sister said. But Vi liked to talk and she continued. “Are you sure about this? I mean you were pretty broken up after she left you. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen you be yourself.”
“I’m fine. And what happened between us should have never happened.”
What? Something happened between him and Vi. I knew she crushed on him, but…
“I know. I’m rooting for you both. It’s just Bailey is never going to be satisfied staying here. And you on the other hand were made for this place, even though you are on your way out the country. What are you going to do now?”
How often did my sister and Turner talk? And I couldn’t get the question of what happened between the two of them out of my mind. It didn’t surprise me that Mary betrayed me. But Violet, I never thought her capable.
“I’ve told her my plans, and I think we may have found a compromise.”
“Well that’s good.” She didn’t sound sure. “It’s a sure thing between you two?”
“Nothing’s certain but she’s giving us a chance.”
“I’m happy for you.”
It probably didn’t say much that I sat there listening to their conversation. And I hadn’t meant to. Once I heard that something happened between the two of them, I was forced into silence. Somehow I knew they may not ever tell me the truth of it willingly. It however was time to stop spying. I got up and made a lot of noise.
When I climbed down, Vi was there with a bright smile on her face. “Sleep well?”
You would think that nothing disturbing had happened l
ast night. “Where’s Mike?” I asked, looking nervously around.
She bit her nail and avoided my gaze. “He’s gone to do whatever it is he does all day.”
I caught a sideways glance at Turner and decided it may not be a good time to talk about this. I could force her to talk to me, but I wouldn’t make her do it in front of Turner.
Breakfast was mixed berries, biscuits, and eggs. The berries made me think of Turner and the intimacy we shared outside last night.
After we were done and the tiny kitchen area cleaned up, Turner said, “Well I should be going. No doubt they’ll be wondering why I haven’t appeared for morning chores.” I glanced at his hands knowing he would use them to fix and build things throughout the day. I thought about those same hands and how gentle they’d been with me.
“Bye,” I said, feeling awkward. I almost thought he planned to lean over and kiss me, but he didn’t.
When the door closed behind him, I turned to face my sister. The heat of my anger percolated through my skin. “I can’t believe you,” I raged.
Violet looked pitifully afraid which only angered me more. She’d never been one to cower, and there she was shrinking in front of me.
“Bailey, I’m sorry.”
That gave me pause. Why would she apologize to me? Then I figured it out. She assumed I’d overheard her conversation with Turner this morning. Which I had, but that was a different conversation.
“Sorry for what,” I admonished. “Sorry you married an asshole. Does he hit you?”
“No,” she claimed, but there had been hesitation before she answered. Deep shadows lived in the hollows under her eyes. If she didn’t tell me, I knew I would have to go to Mary for answers. She would be gleeful to tout information that she had and I didn’t. I never understood her jealousy of me. Thus I just ignored it most of my life, pretending it wasn’t true. But hearing it from Turner and Violet forced me to face it.
A righteous indignation crossed over my sister’s haunted features. “Why are you back here, Bailey? Why are you getting Turner’s hopes up? He deserves better than that.”
Liabilities (Balance Sheet 2) Page 5
