Logan laid a ten-dollar bill on the counter and waved away his change. He picked up his coffee and my scones, leading the way outside. When we stepped onto the sidewalk I realized I was blushing with embarrassment.
“Thank you,” I said with sincerity. “Really, I appreciate it.”
“Hey,” he said. He handed me my bag of scones. Our hands brushed when I took it from him. I blushed deeper. “You helped me bypass the line. Technically, I owe you.”
“If you say so,” I laughed.
“You’re laughing,” he pointed out. “I guess that means you don’t hate me as much today.”
“I’m sorry about yesterday, Logan,” I said softly. “You just… you took me by surprise. I didn’t think I would see you again. Ever. I just wasn’t ready.”
“It’s okay,” Logan shrugged. “I probably deserved at least some hostility from you.”
“Well yeah,” I smiled. “Just a smidge.”
Logan laughed and glanced nervously around. He shifted his feet from side to side and tucked his free hand inside his pocket. When our eyes met again, I saw a glimpse of the man I used to know. His dark eyes were deep with unspoken emotion. I couldn’t bring myself to look away.
“Listen,” he said. “Piper… I…”
“Do you want to sit down somewhere?” I asked quickly. “To talk? You know, catch up a little bit?”
Logan’s smile was one of relief.
“I would love that,” he said. He gestured toward the benches across the street. I led the way, my scones gripped tightly in my shaking hands. I was more nervous than I’d ever been.
When we slid onto the bench, Logan took a sip of his coffee and pulled out my lemon scone. I took a bite to avoid talking too quickly.
After a few minutes, I knew it was time to break the silence.
“So,” I said. “Tell me everything.”
Thirteen
Logan
I didn’t expect to see her again so soon, but there she was. Standing at the counter with flushed cheeks. She was searching frantically in her purse for her wallet. She mumbled something to Angie and I moved forward without thinking. The next thing I knew, she was apologizing for being rude the day before. She was explaining herself and asking me to sit down and talk with her. I couldn’t believe how quickly things changed between us. Not even twenty-four hours before she couldn’t wait to get away from me.
“Tell me everything,” she said as we sat down together. I sipped my coffee and she nibbled her scone. I could tell she was nervous.
“Honestly,” I said. “I’d love to, but I really want to hear about you first. What’s your life like in New York?”
Piper hesitated for a fraction of a second. She glanced nervously at my face with a shy smile before launching into her story.
“It’s amazing,” she said with a wide smile. “When I passed the bar, I didn’t expect to be hired anytime soon. I thought I would have to wait months or even years before a decent firm picked me up, but it wasn’t even a week. Smith and Tucker called me in on a Monday. They interviewed me. Then, offered me the position the next day. It felt like a dream, Logan. Sometimes I still can’t believe it actually happened. I sit in my office in awe that I actually ended up there. Who would have thought, you know? No matter how much I dreamt of it, I don’t think I ever believed I would make it out of Bradberry.”
“I always knew you would. You were made for something more. I’m proud of you, Piper,” I said and I meant it more than anything. “You’re doing exactly what you’ve always wanted to do. That’s amazing. Plus, I bet life in New York City is pretty exciting.”
Piper laughed, “Not exactly.”
“No?” I asked.
“No,” Piper shook her. “When I’m not working, I’m at home. I don’t get out much.”
“That’s surprising,” I said. “I figured you would be dating at least.”
“I do,” she nodded. “A little.”
“Nothing serious?” I asked.
“Not since you,” Piper admitted. Good, I thought. I didn’t think I could take it if she’d found someone new. She stared down at the scone in her hand and we fell into an awkward silence. A stray curl fell into her face and I had to fight the urge to brush it aside. She was still so damn beautiful.
“What else has been going on?” I pressed. “Any new friends in the city?”
“Just my assistant, Ian,” Piper said. “He’s my best friend.”
“You have an assistant,” I laughed. “Fancy pants.”
“It’s not as exciting as it sounds,” Piper promised. “He’s more like an annoying little brother than anything.”
“Sounds like fun,” I said.
“It really is,” Piper nodded. “As cliché as it sounds, I’m really happy. I love my life.”
“That’s wonderful, Piper.” I was smiling like an idiot, but I couldn’t help it. Just sitting with her made me feel at ease. I could feel the tension leave my shoulders for the first time in months. I could have sat there with her all day and never once been bored.
“Your turn,” Piper said suddenly. I took a sip of my coffee and hesitated. There were so many things I wanted her to know, but even more that I didn’t. She was finally speaking to me. We were catching up. She seemed to hate me less. I didn’t want to ruin that by revealing my shortcomings.
Fourteen
Logan
“There’s not much to tell,” I said with a shrug. “I’ve been working. I retired a few months ago.”
“You did?” Piper asked. She raised her eyebrows in surprise. “Why?”
“There was a mission,” I began slowly. “Some things happened that shouldn’t have and my team was pretty messed up about it. We tried to stick it out, but in the end, we just weren’t the same men anymore. I was discharged honorably four months ago.”
“How was it?” Piper asked. “Before that? I mean, you spent your entire life waiting to be a SEAL. What was it like?”
“It was…” I searched for the right words. “Complicated, I guess. Complicated is the best way to describe it.”
“Tell me about it,” Piper pressed. “Please.”
“There are things I can’t really talk about,” I told her softly. “It’s not that I don’t want to, it’s just…”
“You’re still dealing with it all,” she said with a nod. “I understand.”
“Yeah,” I said. “Thank you. It’s not easy. Coming back here and trying to adjust to civilian life. It was only five years, but after all the missions and training, I’m not the same person. I left a lot of myself behind when I left for Coronado and a lot more behind when I left the SEALs. I’m just trying to figure out where my place is now.”
“That makes sense,” Piper said with sympathy. “It seems like you’re doing really well though.”
“I’m trying,” I admitted. “I’m really trying. Sometimes, it’s still hard to overcome the darkness, but it’ll get easier.”
“It will,” Piper assured me. “I can’t possibly understand everything you went through, but I do know a little bit about who you are. I know you’re strong enough to find your way back. However long it takes.”
“In the beginning, it was perfect,” I told her. “It was everything I always thought it would be. I fell into a rhythm with my team almost immediately. We were seamless. Every mission we went on was a success. Even the ones that weren’t, we still all made it out in one piece. Things only went south at the very end. I loved it until then. That last mission… I don’t know if I’ll ever get past it.”
Piper reached over and took my hand. I could tell it was an instinct, something she did without thinking. When she realized what she’d done, she cleared her throat and tried to pull her hand away. I held onto it tightly.
“Piper,” I began. “I’m sorry.”
“For what?” she asked.
“The way I left,” I said quickly. “I never took the time to realize how that made you feel. I was just so excited to finally be a SEAL th
at it made me selfish. I just assumed you would understand and that was wrong of me. I thought you knew how I felt about you, but I was wrong. I never meant for that to be the end for us. I should have told you that back then. I’m so sorry I didn’t.”
“It’s okay,” Piper said weakly. “You don’t have to apologize. It’s been so long. It’s all in the past.”
“That doesn’t matter,” I said, gripping her hand even tighter. “I need you to know how sorry I am for hurting you. I shouldn’t have left without making absolutely sure you knew how I felt. I fucked up.”
“We all do that,” Piper mumbled with a shrug. “I shouldn’t have gone off on you like I did yesterday. You didn’t deserve that.”
“I did,” I said with self-deprecating laugh. “If you ask your sister, I deserve a lot worse.”
“Audra?” Piper frowned. “What did she say to you?”
“She told me I broke your heart,” I said.
Piper rolled her eyes and ducked her head down in embarrassment. I saw her cheeks flush red and I wanted to trace my fingers down them. I wanted to feel the heat beneath my fingers and press my lips against hers.
“She shouldn’t have said anything,” Piper said finally. She pulled her hand out of mine and tucked her hair behind her ears. “I’ve just been through a lot since you left. A lot has changed…”
Piper trailed off, glancing into the distance. At first, I thought she was angry again, but when I saw the tears glistening in her eyes I knew she was reliving something really painful.
“What happened?” I asked gently. “I want to know, Piper. I really do.”
“I know you do,” Piper smiled. “But I’m not sure I’m ready to tell you yet.”
“That’s okay,” I nodded. “I’m just happy you’re talking to me again. I really wasn’t sure if you ever would.”
“I shouldn’t have ignored your phone calls.” Piper said suddenly. “Or your letters. That was wrong of me.”
“I understand,” I shrugged. “You needed time.”
“I did,” Piper nodded. “But I think I was just trying to punish you for leaving. Audra shouldn’t have said anything, but she was right. When you left it tore my world apart, Logan. I’m not proud of that, but it’s the truth. I was a wreck.”
“So was I,” I breathed.
“Oh please,” Piper scoffed. “You were running off to chase your lifelong dream.”
“That doesn’t mean I didn’t miss you.”
At my words, Piper looked away and took a bite of her scone. She licked the icing off her fingers and my stomach tightened. I had missed her. More than even I realized. Sitting beside her solidified everything I felt all those years ago. My heart ached for her. My body longed to touch hers. Nothing had changed between us. Our connection was still just as strong as ever. It took every ounce of strength I possessed not to kiss her right then.
I slid closer to her on the bench, slowly reaching for her hand again, but she pulled it away quickly.
“Logan,” she said sadly. “Don’t. It’s too soon.”
“I’m sorry,” I said quickly. I moved away from her again and breathed deeply. I didn’t want to push her away again. I just wanted to spend as much time with her as possible before she left town.
“It’s not because I don’t want to,” Piper assured me. “It’s just… so much has happened and…”
“And I messed up,” I nodded. “I know.”
Piper took another bite of her scone and looked away. It felt like she was hiding something from me, but I didn’t push. She would tell me when she was ready.
We sat in silence for a few more minutes, neither of us wanting to break the familiar comfort we had sunk into. I drank my coffee until it was gone and Piper finished her second scone. The sun was high in the sky by the time we spoke again.
“I should probably get back,” Piper said, standing up. “My parents will wonder where I am.”
“How long are you in town? Can I take you to dinner?” I blurted out. “I owe you that much, at least.”
Piper smiled and shuffled her feet. She played with a loose curl. She looked more uncomfortable that I’d ever seen her, but the smile never left her lips.
“Sure,” she said hesitantly. “Dinner. That’s fine. I’m here for the rest of the week.”
“Tonight?” I asked.
“Okay,” Piper nodded.
She turned and walked through the square. I watched her sashaying hips until she disappeared.
Fifteen
Piper
“Will you please stop looking at me like that?” I snapped. After enduring Audra’s judgmental glare for nearly twenty minutes I was ready to be rid of her for the night.
“Like what?” Audra asked. Fake innocence dripped from her lips.
“Like I just killed your puppy,” I said with a glare of my own.
“I just don’t understand why you’re doing this,” Audra said with a shake of her head.
“Well, you don’t have to,” I said.
“Piper…” Audra began. She slowly got off the bed and walked over to me. I stood in front of the vanity mirror, teasing my curls and adding finishing touches to my makeup. Audra stood behind me and watched me work. She didn’t speak. I pretended like I didn’t see her standing there until it became too much to stand.
“What?” I snapped, finally turning around to face her. My stance must have been a defensive one because Audra immediately took two steps backward.
“Retract the claws, okay?” Audra said. She held her hands up in a surrendering gesture. “I just want to make sure you know what you’re getting yourself into.”
“I’m not getting myself into anything,” I argued. “It’s dinner. With an old friend.”
“He’s not just an old friend,” Audra said. “And you know that.”
“Of course, I know that,” I told her. For the first time all evening, I let my confidence slip away. My head sagged and I stared at my feet which were crammed into high heels a size too small. I hated how easily it was for me to become emotional. In New York, I was strong. I didn’t allow any weakness to seep through. In Bradberry, though? It was like everyone and everything could see straight down to my raw, vulnerable soul. I was exposed and no one knew that better than my sister.
“Talk to me,” Audra said softly.
“These shoes are too small,” I complained.
“Yeah, well, they’re all I have,” Audra shrugged. “Maybe you should have brought your own if you intended to date while you’re in town. Seriously, Piper…”
“Don’t,” I told her. My head popped back up and my eyes narrowed warningly. “Audra, it’s not your life. It’s not your business.”
“The hell it’s not!” Audra’s face turned red in a flash. “Who took care of you when he bailed? Who was there, in the hospital, the day…”
I shot Audra a look that was more than a warning. She was treading on extremely dangerous ground and she knew it. Her mouth shut and her face softened slightly. Of all the things I knew about my sister, her protective instinct was the most prominent. When she felt I was heading down the wrong path, she couldn’t help but voice her opinions. Even when they were the last thing I needed or wanted to hear.
“I know you’re worried, okay?” I told her. I tried to keep my voice even and calm, but it was trembling with annoyance. Gently, I reach my hand out and took hers. I squeezed it and said, “I understand. And you know how much I appreciate everything you’ve done for me over the years. You, more than anyone, have stood by me and I love you for it. I really do, Aud. I can’t explain to you how I’m feeling right now. Everything with Logan feels so uncertain and unfinished. Despite everything, I don’t think I ever truly got closure from him. I need to go tonight, okay? And right now, you need to back off. Please.”
Audra opened her mouth to argue, but she closed it almost as fast. With a sigh, she took a step forward and engulfed me in a bone crushing hug. She held me so tightly I thought I was going to suffocate, but I d
idn’t pull away. I stepped closer and wrapped my arms around her waist. I let her hold me as she silently told me I was stronger than I had ever been before. As my big sister, Audra had seen me at my lowest points in life. She, more than anyone, knew the progress I had made over those last five years. Deep down, I knew her worry stemmed from her desire to keep me on my chosen path. She didn’t want anything derailing the life I had created for myself. Especially not Logan.
“It’s okay to be scared,” she whispered in my ear.
I wouldn’t admit it, but Audra was right. I was terrified of what my dinner with Logan might mean. Our talk in town went well. Better than I ever imagined. But, that still didn’t change our history. There was so much between Logan and me, so much pain and heartache. I knew one dinner could never erase all that, but a part of me hoped it might be a start. At least, a step in the right direction.
“Are you going to tell him?” Audra asked. Her voice was low, soft. I knew she was trying not to upset me again.
I sighed and pulled away from her. I sunk onto the bed and adjusted the heels on my feet into a more comfortable position. Audra waited patiently for my answer, but we both knew I didn’t have one.
“Maybe he should know,” Audra said. “Lilliana isn’t a baby anymo…”
“I know,” I said quickly. I didn’t know if I could handle talking about Lilliana right then. “And honestly, I don’t know what I will or won’t tell him. I don’t think I’ll know until I’m there.”
“That’s fair,” Audra nodded. “And it’s ultimately your decision, but be careful. Once you tell him, you can never take it back. He’ll know. Forever.”
I nodded and gave her another quick hug before grabbing my purse. I hurried from the door without a backward glance. Audra’s words still ringing in my ears.
Sixteen
Piper
Martello’s was a small, hole in the wall, Italian restaurant on the edge of Bradberry. Anthony Martello and his wife, Elena, moved to Bradberry when their youngest child got married almost forty years ago. It was their wish to open an Italian bistro in a small town somewhere. Anthony said it reminded him of the restaurant he worked at as a boy, back in Italy.
SEAL'd With A Kiss: A Second Chance SEAL Romance Page 6
