by Yoru Sumino
“Y’know, she was totally soaked back at the entrance,” I said.
A laugh erupted. Thank goodness. It was weird for such a rainy day, but everyone seemed to be in slightly higher spirits than usual. Perhaps it was because the windows were closed tight in order to keep the room from getting drenched. It made the room feel a bit like a secret clubhouse of sorts. We felt that sense of unity stronger than ever.
I had previously heard the teachers say that our class was a good one, without any problems. That was, of course, as long as you turned a blind eye to the matter of Yano, but it was clear that was exactly what the teachers were inclined to do. There were some rough guys like Motoda, and some minor violations of school regulations now and then, but there were no reports of violence or matters that would concern the police. On the whole, we were a good, well-disciplined group.
“I just wish Midorikawa had seen it,” said Takao.
“Right?” I laughed.
Of course, I had no intention of arguing that Yano was the victim here. Yano had brought this situation down upon herself. It was her own conduct that incited this bullying. What could one say but that Yano was the one in the wrong here for going after Midorikawa?
That said, the reason that she’d made a mistake by harassing Midorikawa was not simply because Midorikawa was beloved by everyone.
“Morning!”
I turned to look as Kasai greeted someone at the back of the classroom with a wide smile. Midorikawa herself had just arrived. She replied with her usual “Mm,” and we responded by casually greeting her back. It was impossible to discern what internal rules governed the number of times Midorikawa might nod or the timing of such, but she gave one more “Mm” for good measure and headed to her seat.
He probably didn’t want the rest of us to notice, but Kasai had just received his own individual “Mm” from Midorikawa and was grinning even wider than before. It was a different type of smile than the one he gave anyone else—that much was painfully clear to everyone.
Without a doubt, Kasai was the heart and soul of our class. In the center of our class, which had developed an all-around enmity for Yano, was Kasai.
That said, Kasai had never done anything to Yano. The only connection between the two was that Kasai was the nucleus of the class and that he was unhappy with her. The greatest tragedy for Yano was the fact that everyone was aware of that one tiny thing.
A shared sense of unity.
“Mor…ning.”
Out of the corner of my eye I caught sight of Yano, wrapped in a slightly large tracksuit that she had probably borrowed from the nurse’s office. She greeted everyone with a smug grin upon her face, but no one responded. On the contrary, Takao clicked his tongue loudly. That was odd in and of itself.
Unconcerned, Yano placed her bag down on her desk, a smile still upon her face. She took her seat, only to stand straight back up with a soft shriek. I looked over and saw that the bottom portion of her red tracksuit was soaked. Someone must have poured water on her seat before I arrived. After staring at it in confusion, Yano wiped her chair with the sleeve of the borrowed tracksuit and sat back down.
I doubt Takao’s group did it. If they had, they’d have done it while announcing their involvement with the umbrella incident. The perpetrator was someone else.
With the exception of a single individual, all of the members of our class were humans, day and night. They didn’t all think and act in the same way, like some kind of hive mind. We all had our own individual attitudes toward Yano, but in general, everyone fell into one of three categories.
The first type were the ones who harmed her overtly, those who relished in it. Motoda and Takao and the girls who had harassed Iguchi the day before, they were all this type.
The second were the ones who clearly didn’t like Yano but only bothered to show it whenever she came near them or engaged in some more subtle type of antagonism. My neighbor, Kudou, was of this type. The majority of the class fell into this category.
The third type were the ones who thought that Yano was in the wrong but who mainly just ignored her, not going out of our way to do anything about it, such as Iguchi, Kasai, and myself. We were a rare breed, our numbers few.
With the exception of Yano and Midorikawa, the rest of our class could be divided up into those three categories. The one who had wet Yano’s seat was most likely one of the first two types. It was the type-twos who were probably the most bothersome for Yano, acting only when their enemy couldn’t see them, unlike the brazen Motoda and Takao.
None of us were about to go nosing around for the culprit. There was a shared sentiment between us that we were all in it together and an implicit agreement that, unless the culprit should out themselves, no one was going to bother searching for them. Now that I thought about it, there had been a teacher during our first year who said that ratting out a friend was worse than bullying. Whether or not one thought that was true was a matter of personal opinion.
When the bell finally came, everyone began filing into their seats. As I thought, the classroom was a little noisier than usual, but when I looked around at what seats were still empty, I realized: Iguchi wasn’t there.
That was unusual. She always came to school early, carrying on hushed conversations with the girls she was closest to. I was pretty sure that I’d seen her brought to school by car on rainy days, but even so, she was still late.
As I chatted with Kudou about which high schools we wanted to attend, I began to grow worried about Iguchi. Was she that torn up about what happened the day before?
When the last bell rang, two latecomers arrived. Motoda came running in from morning practice, and Midorikawa had returned from the library, book in hand. They both took their seats, and just behind them came the teacher. Our class representative gave the usual commands.
The word truant floated through my head. Just then, I heard a small voice say, “Pardon me.” Iguchi entered from the door at the front of the room and took her seat three places in front of me.
Seeing the swaying of the Totoro key chain that always hung from Iguchi’s bag put me at ease, but at the same time, I understood—she had likely arrived just now on purpose. She was probably afraid that she would be harangued again before class, the way she had yesterday afternoon.
“Today’s duties are assigned to Adachi and Iguchi.”
Just as I was managing to catch my breath after sitting back down again, my name was called. Right, we did have to deal with those today. Whenever our class had to relocate during first period, whoever was on duty had the key to the classroom handed over to them. Today’s first period was music. Iguchi was busy taking her textbooks out of her bag, so I stood up to handle it. “I got it, I got it,” I told her, going up to take the key. I said it twice, so as not to seem like I was showing off.
When I turned around, Iguchi extended a quiet thanks, so low she was nearly mouthing the words. I returned the sentiment with a smile, and she hurriedly continued preparing for class. As I passed by her seat, my eyes were still on her for some reason.
That was when it happened.
Iguchi slammed her desk loudly, as though she had a spasm or something.
For a moment, all the air stopped flowing in the classroom, until Kasai joked, “Well, that was startling,” and the incident was quickly forgotten. Thus, I was probably the only one who had noticed it.
The reason that the top of her desk had been raised, and then come down with such a sound, was that she had slammed it shut with violent force.
As I sat down at my seat in the back of the room, key in hand, my heart raced violently, making a terrible sound in my ears.
What was that?
I had seen it.
Iguchi had been reaching for a notebook that she had left in her desk. Then, when she saw the front of it, she immediately slammed her hands down to try to hide it.
There was no mistaking it. Her notebook looked exactly like the ones I’d burned for Yano the night before. There were ter
rible words written all over the front of Iguchi’s notebook in magic marker.
Sense. Of. Unity.
Even after homeroom ended and we exited the classroom, I could not quell the pounding of my heart.
***
“What’s up, Acchi? Your stomach hurt?”
Though I had tried the whole day to conceal how rattled I’d been that morning, Kasai began to fuss over me during cleanup time. So that no one would make any false assumptions, I put a weary look on my face. “I’m just tired of all these class duties. How come we only ever seem to have music or gym or whatever when it’s my turn?”
Iguchi had been visibly depressed all day, but it didn’t seem that anyone was fussing much about her. In all likelihood, one or all of the girls who had harassed her the day before were guilty of defacing her notebook. They all seemed to be avoiding her now. Likely everyone else was aware of how they had been bothering her, assumed the cause, and thought nothing of it.
In other words, no one bothered comforting her because everyone felt the same way: If she was going to help Yano, she’d better suck it up and take her punishment.
Likewise, while I was worried about her, I didn’t speak to her any more than usual. I didn’t know to what extent our classmates intended to make an example out of Iguchi, so it was best to avoid sticking up for her. Really, there was nothing I could do.
Once our fifth and sixth hours of class were over, we were back in the homeroom, ready to leave for the day. Other than Yano being ignored and harassed, and Iguchi being depressed, it had been a fairly uneventful day. School wrapped up with announcements for next week and our homeroom teacher’s usual reminder that “Exams are coming soon!”
Tomorrow was a free day. The thought lightened my spirits, just a little.
After we said our salutations, those who had club activities and those who had arrangements to hang out after school quickly exited the classroom.
Usually, after school, a few students still loitered around the room, gossiping or furtively eating snacks. Today, though, even Kasai and his crew ended up moving to the cafeteria. One by one, the others left as well.
Suddenly, Iguchi and I, the two on duty for the day, were left alone.
Even the girls who were normally friendly with Iguchi had made a swift retreat for fear of getting caught up in whatever was going on—a wise decision. Even I thought it was best to withdraw as much as possible. There was no place for kindness here.
We dutifully went about our tasks, but somehow remaining silent was making things even weirder, so I decided to pass the time with some completely frivolous conversation.
“I heard there’s been a kaiju around,” I said.
I’m not sure whether the look of shock on her face was due to the fact I’d started talking about something as ridiculous as a kaiju or because I had spoken to her at all. Though she said nothing, she continued looking my way, so I averted my eyes and continued.
“Or at least that’s what a lot of people have been saying lately. Story goes that if you look outside at night, you’ll see a huge black kaiju walking around. But if you try to take a picture of it, apparently nothing shows up.”
I thought that, at the very least, she would give me some kind of reaction. However, she still said nothing, and so I ended up glancing her way. I instantly regretted it.
She was smiling, painfully.
“Th…thank you.”
Unlike the stilted way that Yano normally spoke, it sounded as though the words were stopped up inside Iguchi’s throat.
I had no idea why she was thanking me. “For what?”
“For trying to make me feel better with that joke. I wasn’t expecting that. I know you, Adachi-kun. It isn’t like you to try to cheer someone up. And you’d never talk about something as childish as a kaiju.”
She chuckled, her voice still seeming a bit pained. I cursed myself.
The only reason that I had even accepted the ridiculous premise of a kaiju running around was because I was the genuine article. It was just one of the stupid things we boys discussed amongst ourselves, things we said without even believing. It was obvious that Iguchi, who knew nothing of the rumors, would take it that way. Especially if I talked about it at a time like this.
Iguchi continued to smile and then spoke to me in a trembling voice. “You saw it, didn’t you?”
My heart raced, just as it had that morning. “Don’t even worry about it,” I replied.
Utterly pointless advice. If everyone could simply go around not worrying about things at will, the world would sure be a carefree place. Real life was harder than that.
“I think it’ll be over soon,” I said, feeling compelled to keep talking. I feared the silence and that Iguchi might break it by spilling her guts. I couldn’t bear the thought of either.
“Yeah. I guess that’s just how it goes,” she said.
I’m sure that was what everyone in our class thought regarding Iguchi’s dejected mood. It surprised me that Iguchi felt the same way. Just how it goes, just how it goes. That was just how things went if you happened to pick up Yano’s eraser for her, accident or no. Just how it goes when you put a damper on our class’s shared sense of unity. The haranguing, the graffiti. Those were just par for the course.
No matter how many unfortunate incidents piled up, that was just how it was. It wasn’t worth worrying about; it was something you tried to not even see. I should have been brushing the whole thing off too, but no one could possibly deny that it was tragic to see Iguchi trying to convince herself of the same thing regarding her circumstance.
It was, and yet my own personal empathy for her was completely off the mark.
“I can’t complain, I mean, I…”
She took a longer, deeper breath than usual.
“…I did the same thing to Yano-san.”
“You mean ignoring her?”
Iguchi shook her head.
Then she told me about what had happened yesterday after school, after the rest of us had left. She had been interrogated, insulted, her integrity questioned, and attacked without so much as a chance to defend herself. And finally, to prove that she didn’t consider Yano to be a member of the class, she was told to write terrible things on Yano’s notebook. And so she couldn’t complain if someone did the same thing to her.
I was at a loss for words.
Iguchi might have assumed that Yano was the one responsible, that she was out for some kind of payback. But…I don’t think she believed that. I realized it partway through her confession, something about the way she spoke to me. It was like she was apologizing to me in place of Yano, in a way that she never could to Yano herself. Normally, one should never voice such sympathy for Yano, but it was just the two of us here, so I didn’t bother to stop her.
That said, I don’t think me listening to her story made Iguchi’s heart any lighter.
For some reason, the whole time she was talking, I kept thinking to myself that Iguchi might be the one outlier in our class.
Perhaps she felt less cautious at the end of our talk because I was the only one there. Or maybe she had just grown desperate? Either way, she confided in me a doubt which no one in our class should ever dare to speak.
“It’s so weird, Adachi! Why should everyone always be so awful to Yano-san?”
I checked out on the conversation then and there. I didn’t so much as reply. Not even a “Yeah” or an “I guess.” I turned all of my attention back onto my classroom chores. I wasn’t ignoring her, but what else could I do? That was just how it was.
Things would have turned out better if I had made my decision then.
Friday
Night
RECALLING A DREAM from my childhood, of having an adventure in a department store after closing time, I decided to sneak into one at night. To think that having a form like this could literally make my dreams come true.
Knowing that no image of me would appear on film, I walked brazenly into the darkened store. Of course, I
still had to scale myself down to canine size. I couldn’t risk scaring the life out of some poor nightguard.
I warily surveyed the shop’s interior from above, standing at the top of the stairs. I couldn’t help but notice how eerie the purple glow of the emergency lights was. I didn’t think it was unusual to be a bit creeped out, but really, there was barely any difference between the shop now and the shop during the daytime. The theme park had still had employees around to finish work that could probably only be done at night, but the department store had no need for a graveyard shift. Besides a stray flashlight beam that passed near the stairs, there was nothing to get worked up over.
I think that dreams might be more beautiful while they’re still in our heads. There was no shelter in this store for a monster like me. But where to go next? If I really put some effort into it, I could probably run all the way to a neighboring land. I could challenge myself to visit every part of our country, gradually expanding my territory.
I proceeded through that nerve-racking space, a tense atmosphere where both time and light seemed to have stopped. Myriad scenes floated through my head.
I had probably made it down to the second or third floor by now. There, I happened upon a corner stand with various goods lined up around it and stopped on the spot.
Perhaps it was because it was a rainy day, or perhaps because the rainy season had arrived, or maybe they were just always there. Whatever the reason, the heaps of colorful girls’ umbrellas shined brilliantly to my night-sharp eyes.
Honestly, I was a bit bewildered by the thought that had popped into my head when I saw them. Given that fact, I doubt I made my next decision out of goodwill. I think I just had an opportunity and followed an impulse.
I decided to act. I rushed up to the rooftop, bounded across the roofs of other buildings, and took a brief detour back to my own home. Naturally, I knew my house well and moved through it with all the silence of the night.
I snatched an umbrella from our stand with my tail and climbed to the second floor, opened a window, and leapt back outside. I needed to avoid being seen exiting my house, just in case, so I flew out at my highest speed. Once I confirmed the place I landed was empty, I expanded my size. I couldn’t be captured on film, after all. Might as well be a kaiju through and through.
