by W. J. May
“They’re not from him. And he’s not my boyfriend.” She waved the card in the air and tried to lighten the mood. “It’s actually from Sarah and Philip, thanking us for accompanying them to the ball. Apparently, it wouldn’t have been the same without us.”
Even Devon had to smile at that one. “Yeah, I bet.” He carried over two steaming mugs and set one down on the table before her. “Yours is hot chocolate,” he quickly assured her. “I know you don’t like to drink coffee after nine…”
For whatever reason, those words struck them both instantly sad. Maybe it was the fact that despite their time apart, Devon still remembered every little detail. Maybe it was the fact that they hadn’t spent casual time together in so long.
For what seemed like an eternity, the two of them stared down into their mugs, listening to the second hand tick away on the kitchen clock. Then, with no warning, they looked up at the same time. Both in a sudden rush to speak.
“Look Devon, I’m really sorry—”
“You still don’t trust me!”
Rae was taken aback by the anger and passion in his voice. She had been trying to apologize, not start a huge argument. But from the looks of things, Molly was probably right. If they ever wanted to move forward, they were going to have to air out these issues, once and for all.
For the last two years, he’s been perfectly positioned to gain your trust.
Luke’s words echoed in her brain, but she pushed them aside. If she was being really honest with herself, this had nothing to do with the last two years. The root of their problem, and all Rae’s newfound defensiveness, was much more specific.
“I risked my job to save you just now,” Devon continued when she didn’t say anything. “I gave Carter my word—and I’m sure he’s going to have all night to pick it apart and he’s going to grill us tomorrow in the morning debriefing. I risked everything for you Rae.” He struggled to keep his voice steady. “And after all this time, you still don’t trust me?!”
“That’s the problem, Devon!” Rae finally exploded. “I did trust you! I trusted you with everything—with my very heart—and you left me!”
Devon’s face paled. “We went over this,” he murmured. “I did it to keep you safe.”
“But that’s bullshit!” she exclaimed. “And it doesn’t change the fact that it happened. You left!”
“Well what the hell can I do about that now? How can I get us past this?”
Rae threw up her hands. “I don’t know,” she answered sincerely. “Maybe it just has to fix itself in time?”
She perched on the edge of the coffee table and tried to calm down, breathing in slowly and inhaling the airy scent of roses. Yelling wasn’t going to help things along. She just had to be level-headed and tell the truth. It was the only way to move forward.
“Devon, I can’t shake the feeling that the second things get rough, you could just disappear on me again. And what’s worse, you wouldn’t ever tell me why. You’d just do it ‘for my own good’ or something. I need to be with someone who’s going to treat me like a partner—an equal. Someone that’s going to stick by me in thick or thin.”
Rae couldn’t believe the words coming out of her mouth. She wasn’t talking life or death here, she wasn’t thinking thirty years ahead. But she was willing to fully commit to him. To commit herself to the hazards and happiness of being in love. To give him her heart again—no matter how scary. She just didn’t know if he was willing to do the same.
Be it the Privy Council, the rules about tatùs never mixing, the disapproval of his father, or even these random ‘for Rae’s own good’ things he came up with on his own.
Sometimes it felt like they were sitting on top of a tinder box playing with matches. She never knew which one of them could set the whole thing aflame.
“I will always, always be there for you.” The sincerity on his face was impossible to ignore, but at the same time, it looked like there was a battle raging on beneath the surface. A battle between how he’d lived his whole life, and the life he wanted to have.
Rae smiled sadly. “I really want to believe you. I know, in a lot of ways, it’s easier for me. I didn’t grow up with these rules the way you did.” She gave a wry laugh. “I don’t even have a family to disapprove. But what I am an expert in, is loss. I don’t want to lose you, Devon. I couldn’t take it. You’re obsessed with protecting me?” She raised her eyebrows. “Well, I have to protect me too. Whether it’s from crazy half-brothers…or just from getting my heart broken all over again.”
The two of them stared at each other for another minute before Rae slowly got to her feet. “I’m going to bed,” she said softly. “Only have a few hours before we have to get up for the debriefing.” As she walked off to her room, her fingers grazed lightly across his shoulder. “Thanks for the hot chocolate.” She got all the way to her door before she heard him answer her quietly, still sitting in the dark.
“Any time.”
* * *
It felt like the second Rae closed her eyes, they snapped open again to the frantic buzzing of her alarm. In the next room over, she could hear Devon stirring as well. With an exhausted groan, she pressed the pillow over her face and thought jealously of Molly, still sleeping away upstairs.
Well, this debriefing had to start sooner or later. Best to get it over with.
Without Molly there to dictate her clothing, she dressed simply. An airy, light blue blouse with fitted white slacks. She pulled up her curls into a loose half-ponytail and opted for only a swipe of mascara and some light pink lip gloss. When she was finished, she pulled back for a cursory glance in the mirror.
It came together rather nicely, she thought. It didn’t have Molly’s glamour and flash, but it was sleek and stylish. A bit understated, but feminine and soft. It was Rae.
She paired it with some professional-looking pumps and rushed out to the kitchen to find Devon already waiting there with coffee.
This time, he didn’t avoid her gaze. Instead, he looked straight into her eyes as he flashed his dimples at her. “Good morning,” he said brightly.
She took the coffee hesitantly, waiting for the other shoe to drop. After last night, she thought that their relationship would be as strained as ever, but Devon was looking pleased and put together. There was a steadiness about him that hadn’t been there for a long time. It was almost as if, Rae didn’t know what word to put to it, he was…at peace?
“Morning,” she answered cautiously. Her voice was scratchy and every muscle in her body was sore from lack of sleep. “You sure look…awake.” After her three hours of sleep, the concept of ‘awake’ was foreign to her.
Devon laughed cheerfully, the sound echoed in the little room. “Yeah well, we have to start the day out right, don’t we?”
Rae raised her eyebrows as she took a scalding sip. “If that’s true, I’m not sure a crack of dawn debriefing with Carter is the way to go.”
“We’ll just tell him what happened at the ball,” Devon said simply. He pulled out an apple and quickly cut it into slices, tipping a few onto a plate before sliding it her way. “We’re heroes, after all. Or at least, you are.” He looked suddenly proud. “You found the future queen. You risked everything to save her.”
“And I got kidnapped and drugged in the process.” Rae nibbled the end of an apple. “But I guess everything worked out in the end. Except for Maria.” She frowned in sudden concern. In the rush of everything that had happened last night, she had almost forgotten about her poor brainwashed friend. “Is she going to be okay? Is Curtis working on her?”
“I’m sure she’s going to be fine.” Devon laid a reassuring hand on her arm. The warmth of it sent tingles flying up her skin. “Curtis seemed really confident. I’m sure he can reverse the process.”
Rae didn’t want to ask, but she had to. “And when Carter asks us about last night?” She glanced up nervously at Devon’s face, but found that he was staring steadily back at her.
“Whatever happens,
we’ll face it together.” He reached down and squeezed her fingers. “I promise. No matter what.”
With a confident wink, he turned back to his breakfast, but Rae found herself staring at her now empty hand. What had happened between three and seven in the morning? Last night, Devon looked shaken—rattled to his very core. Today, he was a new man. Bustling around the kitchen and hand-holding and winking? Making solidarity promises? She really didn’t know what to make of it.
She was about to ask when a sudden buzzing on her phone caught her attention. Who on earth would be texting at seven in the morning? Perhaps when she signed on with the Privy Council she should have made things clear—she was not a morning person. She downed the rest of her coffee in a steaming gulp and flicked on the screen. It was a text from Luke.
Rae glanced automatically at Devon, but he was breezing around the living room, looking for his jacket and shoes. Perfect. She reached for his coffee and scanned the message.
Rae. Don’t have much time to talk. Never know who could be watching. Stayed up all night looking through surveillance feeds and you’re not going to believe what I found. We need to meet as soon as possible. Where are you?
What the hell?! She frowned at the screen and began typing a quick reply.
“Rae, have you seen my coffee?” Devon called from the living room.
“No, uh, you must not have poured any yet.” She took another swig and hit send.
I don’t have much time either, about to go into a debriefing. I’m at a place called Heath Hall on the outskirts of London. But it’s like PC headquarters and I don’t think you can come here. I’d go to you, but they’re watching me pretty carefully after I snuck out last night.
“Didn’t pour any yet, huh?” Devon chuckled and kissed her on the tip of the nose. “Very funny, you little thief. Now come on, we don’t want to keep Carter waiting.”
Rae caught her breath as he headed out the door. She didn’t know if she would ever get used to him casually kissing her again.
“Rae! Come on!”
She shook her head and snapped back to the present. “Coming!” She snatched up her coat and rushed to follow him, but as she was going, her phone buzzed again in her hand.
Doesn’t matter whose headquarters it is. I’m coming. See you soon.
Her heart skipped a beat. Great. If there was one thing that could ruin Devon’s inexplicable good mood and get her into even more trouble with Carter, it was a visit from her mysterious college counselor. But under the initial layer of stress, her head spun in a million different directions.
What on earth was so important that Luke was willing to walk into enemy headquarters?
What had he seen?!
She barely had time to contemplate this before she and Devon were out the door, rushing to the spacious guest house at the other side of the property. They raced across the wide lawns, dodging the freezing arch of the morning sprinklers.
“Carter planned it like this,” Rae muttered as she put on a sudden burst of speed to avoid getting sprayed. “He knew exactly when these damn things would come on.”
Much to her surprise, Devon just laughed and pulled her gently along. “It’s highly unlikely, but I wouldn’t totally rule it out. Hey, nothing like a morning shower, right?”
Rae chuckled in spite of herself. “What did you take? Happy pills or something?”
“Just glad to be in London on a beautiful morning with my gorgeous…Rae.” He smiled and she wondered how he would have liked to have finished that sentence. “Come on, I can see Carter is already inside.”
They rushed in to see not just Carter, but Jennifer sitting on two of the three guest house sofas. They were set up to face each other, making a broken triangle, leaving Rae and Devon to sit on the third one together. While it looked innocuous enough by itself, once the two of them sat down, Rae thought the formation made the whole thing feel suspiciously like an interrogation.
“Good morning,” Carter began briskly, “I hope you both slept well.”
“Fine,” Rae said wryly, flicking a few water drops from her fingers.
Carter smiled. “Good, then let’s not waste time.”
“Yes, sir.” Devon leaned forward with his elbows on his knees. Rae was happy to let him take the lead. He had done these debriefings many times before. “We arrived at the location of the ball at precisely nineteen hundred hours, just ahead of Maria and Curtis. At the time, our risk assessment was—”
“What really happened last night?” Carter interrupted.
On her sofa, Jennifer leaned forward intently but kept quiet.
Devon looked confused. “I was just trying to tell you, sir.”
“Not at the ball,” Carter said. “I already know what happened at the ball, and I must say, the two of you did very well considering the circumstances. I’m talking about afterwards.” His eyes fixed on Rae. “Where did you go? And don’t say that it was to meet with a counselor. I mean for Pete’s sake, kids, we teach you how to lie.”
Rae’s blood rose to a boil. Kids? Really? No. He wasn’t allowed to go back and forth that easily. Either they were kids—to be taught and given a curfew. Or they were adults. Put into the line of fire but trusted and allowed to make decisions on their own. He didn’t get to have it both ways.
“I’m sorry, sir,” her eyes narrowed, “I don’t know exactly what you’re insinuating.”
“Rae.” Jennifer only said one word, but it carried a weight and a warning. She was to watch herself. Rae’s eyes fell obediently to her lap, and Devon took over.
“Sir, I apologize for the timing, but since we were in London with nothing to do for a few hours, Rae took the opportunity to—”
“Wardell, that’s enough!” For whatever reason, Carter seemed especially upset with Devon. Like Devon’s was a double betrayal. “I’ve given your story to the rest of the Privy Council and they don’t believe it any more than we do.” He pulled himself up to his full height. “You two are officially on probation, pending further investigation.”
“What?!” Rae and Devon exploded at the same time.
“Sir, you can’t do that!”
“Listen Carter, we did exactly what we were supposed to do. We saved the future queen just like you wanted, at great personal risk I might add, and then—”
Carter stood up. “Then you lied to me!” He was visibly struggling to control his temper. “You disobeyed a direct order, looked me in the eye, and lied about it. This is an organization built upon trust and respect. It is a privilege to work for.” He glared at them both, standing in the center of the floor between the sofas. “I thought you, at least, understood that Mr. Wardell. I must have been mistaken.”
Devon flushed to the roots of his hair and his face fell.
Rae, however, was incensed. “Okay, so the next time we take off after we’ve successfully completed our mission, we’ll be sure to let you guys know where we’re going. You know,” she knew she was crossing a line, but couldn’t find it in herself to care, “maybe you guys can just inject us with those little microchips they put in dogs. That way, the next time we go out, you can just track us by following the little flashing dot!”
“I don’t think you understand the gravity of what’s going on here, young lady,” Carter growled. “You two are under fire. Under scrutiny and on probation. To be separated from the rest of the Council until we can determine what’s really going on and whether or not we can trust—”
“I was going to find my mom!” Rae’s ears rang in the deafening silence that followed as she got to her feet and squared off in front of Carter.
The words had a profound effect on every person in the room. Devon dropped his face into his hands, while Jennifer had gone very still, watching Rae’s every move with eyes like a hawk’s. But it was Carter whose reaction was the strangest. It was like he was melting. His shoulders sagged and his eyes filled with a mix of pity and horror.
“Is that what you wanted to hear?” Rae trembled with rage. “Is th
at the information your precious Privy Council so badly wants to know? I know she’s out there. She left me a box of clues that I went to collect last night. This whole time I’ve just—” The sudden burst of passion and energy seemed to have taken all the wind from Rae’s sails, and she finished in a small, defeated sounding voice. “I’ve just been trying to find her.”
No one said a word afterwards. For a very, very long time. A jet from the sprinklers shot up against the window, making them all jump, but it was dead quiet inside the room.
Until…a soft but determined voice broke the silence.
“I’ll help you.” In a flash, Jennifer was on her feet, standing in between Rae and Carter in the center of the room. “I’ll help you find Bethany. She was my friend. There’s no way in hell I’m letting you do this alone.”
Rae’s eyes welled up with grateful tears, but before she could speak, a heart-wrenching wail shook the walls of the little house. She turned her eyes to Carter instead, stunned and bewildered.
“There is no finding Bethany, because there is no Bethany!” he shouted. Silent tears slipped unnoticed down his neck, wetting the top of his starched collar. “Don’t you dare encourage her, Jennifer! Don’t you dare get her hopes up! Bethany’s dead!”
“You don’t know that—”
Rae grabbed his arm, but all at once, the world around her disappeared. Her body had instinctively switched tatùs, using Carter’s own tatù against him, showing her what she most needed to see.
Rae gasped aloud as all at once, a million different images rushed through her head. She was seeing her mom, but from a million different vantage points. Her mom wowing everyone with her incredible talent in the Oratory. Her mom walking across the grass as the sun caught in her dark hair. Her mom laughing with friends at the same pub Rae and her friends frequented in town.
All through the eyes…of Carter.
Rae jumped back as if she’d been shocked. Her eyes snapped open and she stared at Carter in astonishment. All this time, it had been right under her nose.
