SEARCHING FOR MY ROGUE
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Alys rolled over onto her side and hit something warm and solid. Her eyes fluttered open, and she met the deep blue gaze of the man she couldn’t get off her mind. James stared back at her, resting his head in the palm of his hand while digging his elbow into the bed.
“Why are you in my bed?”
“Didn’t you invite me to join you?” His half-smile filled with cockiness as he ran his hand through her unbound hair. “I believe you said anytime I wanted—and I’ve never wanted anything more.”
Alys groaned as heat spread through her belly and desire flared red-hot in her blood. “You said you wouldn’t come to me. You wanted marriage first.”
He trailed kisses over her cheeks and settled his lips against hers. A soft kiss filled with a promise of more. “In time, you will give me all I want. For now, I will take everything you’re willing to give.”
Alys ran her hand across his naked chest and dug her fingers deep into his muscled torso. “It’s about damn time you saw the brilliance of my offer.”
James laughed. “Darling, I always knew you were brilliant. As to your offer, I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t been tempted from the start.”
A cold breeze traveled up her legs and hips, cooling her heated skin—Alys’s nightgown pooled around her waist. With light strokes, he reached down and grazed her flesh with his fingertips. He stroked her center, building her desire to a breaking point.
“Please, James.”
“I will and can give you so much, Alys.”
“I know, don’t stop,” she begged.
The pressure built up inside of her. She was so close. Finally, she would have James on her terms and not his. The pleasure of him bending to her will had been her goal all along. She wanted to prove a point to him, and now—oh yes, now she would feel him ride her into ecstasy.
Just when her orgasm was about to hit its peak and shatter her into a million shards—he stopped.
Her eyes flew open and his gaze pinned her in place. Something wasn’t right. He didn’t seem himself. Why would he build her up only to deny her? Again. This was becoming common between them. They would parlay back and forth, dance into each other’s arms, and yank back as if being too close would destroy something deep inside of them.
“James?”
“You know this isn’t right, Alys.”
The look he gave her was so forlorn it broke her heart. What was she doing to him? This was part of who he was. James was a good, honorable man. She was asking him to change and bend to her will. How selfish was she? When had she started to emulate her sister Regina? This was something she would do, put her needs first.
“I’m so sorry James.”
He caressed her hair with his hand, his fingers treading through the strands. “I know.”
“Will you forgive me?”
“Always,” he promised. “But it’s time for me to go. I can’t be here.”
Go? He couldn’t go. She wanted him to understand. He had to know why she was acting so horridly. She’d been pushed aside her whole life in favor of Regina. Just once, she wanted someone to see her and love her. How could she promise him forever when she didn’t know if it was hers to offer him? What if she left him alone and returned back to her time? Where would that leave him? Not to mention, he hadn’t once claimed to love her. There had to be more. Otherwise, why should she even begin to contemplate marriage?
“No, wait don’t go—”
Alys reached out for him, but he disintegrated right before her eyes. He had been so solid in front of her, and then poof he was gone. What the hell?
She woke up with a gasp. Her heart pounded hard in her chest. Her gaze flew to the spot on the bed where she could have sworn James had lain.
It was only a dream. A very erotic, sensual dream.
But it also told her something very important. She couldn’t ask James to give her something that would destroy something inside of him. He wanted to marry her. That was his way of making sure she was protected. He never once denied he wanted more, or how much he desired her. If that was all he wanted from her, he’d had plenty of opportunities. It was oh so wrong of her to ask him to bend his ethics and values because she didn’t think marriage was the best choice.
If she couldn’t marry him, she’d have to leave. It was for the best. James deserved more than she could offer him.
A door slammed shut, echoing through her room.
What the hell? Who was up and moving around at this late hour?
She slid off her bed and tiptoed over to the door. Maybe someone was up to no good. Wouldn’t it be fun to catch them? Alys grabbed her wrapper that hung by the door and put it over her nightgown.
She eased her door open and peeked through the slit. A tall, imposing figure, most likely male, walked past her door. It could be James, or Dominic. Hell, it could be a servant for all she could see in the dark. Alys opened the door wider and slipped out. She watched his movements as he strolled down the hallway. As he turned the corner to head toward the stairs, she could make out his face in profile from moonlight streaming through a nearby window.
It was Dominic. Where could he be heading?
She hurried after him to find out. One day, her curiosity would get the better of her.
When she reached the bottom of the stairs, she couldn’t find him. Where could he have gone? She went to James’s study to see if that is where he might be. When she entered the room, no one appeared to be inside. She went farther in and looked out the window that overlooked the cliffs. She squinted and could make out someone moving in the distance.
Was it Dominic?
Even if it was, she couldn’t do anything about it. She wasn’t dressed to chase a man down the cliff tunnels. She would have to ask him about it in the morning—well, later. Technically, it was morning, even though it was the middle of the night.
She couldn’t help wondering if the information that Rosanna told her about Edward had something to do with Dominic’s late night visit to the cliffs. Was he still investigating the smugglers? Maybe she should tell James about Rosanna’s suspicions. She didn’t know much about this time period. While she enjoyed history, facts got muddled a bit sometimes inside her head. The actual dates for significant events anyway—she had more important things to remember.
Nothing would get solved staring out the window. Dominic could be down by the cliffs for hours. Alys needed to go back to her room and attempt to get more sleep. If luck was on her side, she’d have restful dreams. James had haunted them enough for one evening.
Alys sighed and left James’s study to go back to her bedroom. She shuffled her feet across the soft carpet trailing the hallway to her room, her head down to watch her steps in the dark, lost in her own thoughts.
“What are you doing awake?”
Alys started. “Good grief, James. Are you trying to give me a heart attack?”
“A what?” he asked, puzzled.
“Never mind, it doesn’t matter. You scared me.”
When had he come out of his room? Why did the man move so infernally quietly? He could sneak up on anyone and get the drop on them. Why was he skulking outside her door? Did he ever sleep? He still wore his breeches and white linen shirt. Surely he had something he wore as nightclothes. I wonder if he sleeps naked… Alys dropped that line of thought as quick as it entered her mind. She would not let herself imagine him sleeping nude.
“My apologies, I didn’t mean to frighten you.” He pressed his lips together as he studied her. The moonlight illuminated the hallway enough for her to make out his features in the shadows.
“Don’t worry about it. I was lost in my own thoughts and easily startled.”
James nodded. “Are you having trouble sleeping?”
Wouldn’t he like to know? He probably wondered if thoughts of him kept her awake—he’d be right in assuming it. He was the reason she’d woken up from one of the most erotic dreams she’d ever had in
her life. Too bad it also illustrated how selfish she was being with him.
“Something woke me up, and I couldn’t go back to sleep afterward.”
“Oh?” James frowned. “What was it?”
Why was he so damned curious? Alys wasn’t used to be on the receiving end of a constant bombardment of questions. Usually she was the one pestering someone for answers.
Alys rubbed her hands across her face. “It doesn’t matter. Did you need something from me?”
Whatever Dom was doing she could figure it out later. It wasn’t important and could wait. Her heart still pounded rapidly in her chest. The excitement level had risen considerably in a short time.
“No.” He shook his head. “Why do you ask?”
“You’re standing in front of my door. In fact, you are almost inside the door frame as if you just exited my chambers.”
“I saw it open. It concerned me, so I went inside to check on you.” He looked back into her room. “It worried me that you were not there. I’m relieved to find you standing before me.”
Alys chewed on her bottom lip. He didn’t seem at all affected by her. He was standing in front of her, all cool and collected, no passion in sight. Her “dream James” had been hot and ready. If she needed any further signs, this was a blaring one before her. It made her feel rather small and inconsequential in the grand scheme of things.
“Right. I wouldn’t want to worry you.” She let her gaze fall, disappointment evident in her voice. Leaving James was the only decision she could make.
“Something is bothering you. Tell me what it is.”
“I’m fine.”
James stared at her and folded his arms across his chest. He didn’t say a word for several seconds. When Alys didn’t either, he raised an eyebrow expectantly.
“I’m serious. You don’t have to stress about anything concerning me.”
In the morning, after they both got some more rest, she’d tell him her decision to leave. The act of returning to her own time was lost to her, so she’d do the only thing she could. She’d go home to the country she belonged in at least. There she might have a fighting chance.
“I don’t believe you.”
James wasn’t going to leave this alone. She’d have to tell him something, so he’d drop the protective alpha male stance he had going on. Although—she trailed her eyes up and down his body—it did look rather well on him.
“I saw Dominic go outside. He was heading toward the cliffs.”
His head turned toward the window. “It’s not safe at night, but I’m sure he’s fine.”
Alys rolled her eyes. How like a man. It was fine because Dominic was male. “Did Rosanna ever tell you about the conversation she overheard between Edward and Dominic?”
His gaze landed on hers. “No, why should it matter what my brother and best friend spoke about. I’m sure it was nothing of importance.”
It was Alys’s turn to raise an eyebrow. “Seriously? You are not even remotely curious?”
He shrugged. “Don’t see any reason I should be.”
Alys narrowed her eyes in disbelief. Why had she thought she’d like men from this time period? She must have lost some important brain cells somewhere along the line. Maybe studying the human anatomy too much left her deficient to understand the male brain.
“I’ll do you a favor and tell you anyway.” She held up her hand when he opened his mouth to interrupt her. “No, let me finish before you tell me all the reasons you don’t want to know. Edward went to Dominic because there was smuggling here in the cliffs. I don’t know why he thought Dominic would care—but not long after, Edward died.”
“One doesn’t necessarily have to do with the other.”
“Sometimes a coincidence is just that, yes, I agree. Other times, it is far more complicated and convoluted than you first thought. Otherwise, how would I be here?”
She really hated pointing out the obvious. James needed to realize he should at least ask Dominic about Edward’s concerns.
“I concede your point. Some things are simply not explainable. This, however is. Dominic is my friend. If he knew something concerning Edward’s death he would have already told me.”
“I suppose you know him better than I do.” Alys shrugged. “I’d still ask him. But that’s just me.”
“Don’t concern yourself with it. I will handle the matter.”
Alys didn’t have it in her to argue with him. In the long run, the outcome didn’t impact her decision. James would handle it the way he saw fit. The little jaunt downstairs and the remnants of her dream left her too drained to care. Maybe she’d muster up the energy before she departed and said goodbye. For now, she’d let him think she let it go.
“Whatever, James. It’s late, and I’m going to try to get some more sleep.”
He bowed his head in agreement. “It is. Sleep well, Alys.”
That was it? He wasn’t even going to attempt to kiss her? Disappointment filled her heart.
“Right, you too,” she said and brushed past him to go into her chambers. Once she was in her room he called out to her.
“Oh, one other thing.”
She looked over her shoulder, her gaze meeting his.
“I will have an answer from you at daybreak.” He crossed his arms over his chest. “And it will be the one I want to hear.”
She raised an eyebrow. “And if it isn’t?”
His smile was full of cockiness that shown bright in the moonlit hallway. “I am afraid you will have to wait and find out because, my dear,” wickedness filled his voice, “I intend to win, and the first rule of battle is not to let the opponent know your plan. It’s the best guarantee of success.”
He took two quick strides into her room and pulled her into his embrace. His lips landed on hers in a searing kiss. It was so quick Alys thought she might have imagined it. James spun on his heels and left the room, shutting the door with a soft click.
Oh hell, the man sure knew how to leave a girl on pins and needles.
SEARCHING FOR MY ROGUE
CHAPTER TWELVE
James hadn’t slept at all. Alys invaded his dreams and didn’t leave much room for a peaceful night’s rest. In fact, it had been anything but restful. He’d tossed and turned the entire night. Something bothered him, but he couldn’t figure out what. So he’d given up and went in search for the woman who haunted his every waking moment—and those he’d managed to be asleep.
Only to find she was not in her room.
Panic seized him, the likes of which he’d never experienced before. It had never crossed his mind she might leave. The relief that flooded him at the sight of her returning to her room washed over him in waves.
His Alys was entirely too curious for her own good.
It didn’t help she’d managed to evade him the entire day. So, not only was he tired, but he was beyond frustrated. There was one thing he could take care of…her concerns about Dominic’s jaunt in the middle of the night. James doubted there was much to worry about on that front. Dominic was a grown man and could take care of himself. He wouldn’t bother to interrogate his friend. It was odd, but Dominic could act rather strange at times. He had no doubts about his best friend, there was no cause to.
Dominic would tell him what he was doing down at the cliffs in the middle of the night. It could have been for any reason. James didn’t know what, but he’d find out. Maybe the information Alys had departed held an ounce of truth. James didn’t doubt that Edward discussed something with his friend; he doubted it had resulted in his brother’s death. Nothing nefarious could be happening near his home. He’d have gotten wind of it when he returned.
Smuggling was a way of life for those who lived along the coast. During the war with France, it helped provide for the community. He didn’t have to like it to understand the motivation behind it. As long as it didn’t involve him in any way, he turned a blind eye to it. Edward would have done the same. If he’d had a concern, it was far more serious than mere
smuggling.
He wanted to hear Alys say she agreed to marry him. He had to pin her down long enough for her to do so. She would soon….
But he’d have to let it go for a brief time because Dominic needed to answer some niggling questions that wouldn’t stop rolling through his thoughts. So instead of searching out the woman he couldn’t stop thinking about, he went to find his best friend and found him lounging in the library—or rather passed out on a settee against the back of the room, near an open window.
James shook his head and crossed the room. He stopped in front of Dominic and shoved him off the settee. He hit the floor with a loud thud.
“What the…” Dominic sputtered the words as he sat up. His glimpsed up at James and swore. “Bloody hell, was that necessary, James?”
“Yes. Why are you sleeping here when you have a perfectly good bed in your chamber?” He frowned. “Why are you resting at all? It’s rather late in the day for a nap.”
“I was up a good part of the night. I didn’t mean to slumber here.” Dominic scrubbed his hands over his face. “I didn’t get much sleep, and I don’t appreciate being shoved onto the floor. What’s got you in such a foul mood?”
“Alys saw you walking toward the cliffs last night.”
James didn’t like that she was disturbed in any way. He wanted her happy. More importantly, he wanted her sleeping in his arms each night. If he were being honest, he wanted a lot more than that from her.
“Why in the blazes was she up so late?”
Deflection—Dom was rather good at it. Answering a question with another one. He’d not get away with it so easily this time. James would demand to be told what he’d been up to in the middle of the night.
“Doesn’t matter. Where were you heading at such a later hour?”
With a smug grin on his face, Dom stood and looked James in the eyes. “You want the details of the tryst I had scheduled? Never did take you for one who liked to gossip and hear scandalous details, but if you want to know, I can tell…”
“No.” James held up his hand. “Don’t say any more. I do not want to be privy to your depravity.”
Once Upon A Regency Page 61
