by Beth Mikell
"This," he whispered tightly. "Is how you make me feel--unclothed, unprotected, silken and drawn tight, awaiting the next gift of your smile or passed-over rejection. You make me crazy for just a little more until I can't function as a man."
"But, I won't reject you," I insisted.
He smirked harshly, his body changing from desire to self-loathing within seconds. "Won't you? If you truly knew me, I know you'll runaway, Reyna and that scares me shitless. Then what will I have?"
"Tell me, trust me," I pleaded.
"I can't even trust myself not to fuck up, how can I impart the darkest part of myself with the one woman I need more than air? I'd rather die than lose your commencing faith. I know what I am and what I'm not--and I'm not a nice man. Of that, I know for certain."
I had to stop his agonizing influx of confusion, doubt, and self-condemnation. His words were damaging, his withheld tragedy beyond understandable, but I couldn't imagine he was the ultimate devil according to his seething lambast. How could a man so richly blessed with compassionate care, sensual potency, and powerful grace be as stained as he claimed? He built an empire, he lost his beloved wife, he enjoyed a virile and intense sex life (maybe unconventional), but he wasn't beyond human understanding.
And dammit all, my jealousy caused this ridiculousness. If I hadn't reacted so badly because a stupid woman touched him, we'd be enjoying the party, everything forgotten. I should've held my fears in check and not ignited his inner pain. If he wasn't going to trust me with words, he had to trust my patient caress, my hope and my surrender, but most of all...my love.
I stepped closer, sealing myself into him.
Noah sucked in a deep breath. "Reyna--"
I reached up to place my finger over his lips. "Shh, I offer blind trust. I offer my love," I breathed, taking an unsettled inhale. "I release you from inner torment, so do what you do best...take me passed shaking."
His arms banned around me tightly, every sinewy inch of him pressed with pronounced vindication, the heat of his skin scorched my nipples through his shirt and his erection snug against my stomach through his pants. "Like a lamb to slaughter?"
I shook my head. "As your woman--as value unclaimed." My words barely escaped my lips and Noah cursed under his breath before his lips covered mine, his tongue sweeping deep. I shuddered, trembling with renewed desire, my knees nearly buckling under me.
He drew back suddenly, eyeing me hard. "You know what this means? I'll never allow you to leave me."
My breath pulsed out in silent clutches. "Yes, I know."
His hot lips skated across mine, jolting their sensitivity. "You know I'll want you tied to me--darkness and all."
I cried out in delightful pain, but his suggestion was too ludicrous, yet shockingly exciting all at once. "Noah--"
He reacted fast, turning me hard until my back met the cool wall behind me. Without hesitation, one of his hands lifted me high and I automatically wrapped my legs around his waist. "What's this?" he asked gruffly. "You know how to assume the position, but can't fully accept me? That will never do, Ms. Lourde. Do you know you're mine?"
"Of course--"
He ground his hips tighter into my center. "Do you?"
"Yes." His face was fiercely dark, chilling with harsh emotion, but I didn't feel fear of him as much as the shredded pain for his desire to prove my possession-type status in his life. "Noah, please..." With his face so close, his delicious scent bombarded my senses. I was slipping out of control.
"Tell me, baby, it's yours."
What could I say so he would be reasonable? "Give us time to explore each other."
His hand drew down my neck, over my breast and flicked my nipple with expert promise. Hot sensation pricked fast, flowing downward and I arched my hips into him with a muted whimper.
"And if I say it's now or never, will you give me what I ask for?"
An ultimatum? God, why the test? Why the probability of failure? But, I could never refuse him anything--nothing. "I will. I do. I accept."
In an instant, Noah's whole body relaxed and he buried his face in my neck. "Reyna..." Within his tortured groan, his mouth glided across my shoulder, up my neck. "At the end of the day, I can focus on what's tearing me apart, or what's holding me together and that's you. I've never wanted anything or anyone more than you." He leaned back, his eyes fierce. "Do you understand what I'm saying?"
I swallowed hard, nodding my head. "Yes." His feeling superseded everyone, even Sarah and I couldn't hold back the tears. "Noah."
His mouth bled over mine, hot and subtle with a hint of power and succulent demise. Every nerve ending surged through my body, every sensation on high alert. I could never be more a woman within Noah’s arms than right at this moment, but of course, he had the ability to unlock every sense, every inhibition, and every unknown recess of my heart, mind, and soul.
His potent taste was forever embedded in my DNA until I’m sure nothing would remove his existence. His powerful scent, clean and refreshing, was my very personal aphrodisiac, shoving me through a portal of need faster than my lips could keep up with his sensual onslaught.
I broke free of his mouth, panting—my heart pounding triple time through my chest. “Oh God Noah…I…” I couldn’t say anything more; words failed, my emotions riding high.
He rested his forehead against mine. “I know. I feel it too,” he whispered against my lips, drawing in a deep breath. “As much as I want to be inside you, I can’t take you up against a cold wall in the middle of a sterile conference room. You’re worth more than that.”
I wanted to protest as he pulled away, but he shook his head with a smile tugging his lips. “No, baby. I have a very wonderful room upstairs. Let’s go make it ours.”
I smiled. “That’s the best idea you’ve proposed all night.”
Noah stilled his face dropping into seriousness as he linked his hand through mine and stared into my eyes with heart stopping intensity. “Really? I promise I’m about to outdo your wildest expectation, Ms. Lourde.”
“If you manage that, I’ll…reward you.”
His lips curved into a sexy grin. “You are all the…reward I need, baby.” He turned away, retrieving my clothes off the floor. With painstaking slowness, he helped me dress, fastening my bra at my back—his hands sliding down my arms as his lips trailed over the curve of my right shoulder. “Mmmm, your skin is so soft.”
My body flushed hot as he nuzzled my skin. I spun wildly out of balance, swaying close to vertigo on the verge of passing out, drugged even. “If you keep up your velvet words, Mr. Alexander, I’ll be forced to re-pillage you here--room be damned.”
He chuckled, licking up my neck with his wicked tongue to my ear, and he nibbled my lobe expertly (his favorite thing). I shuddered. Noah’s arms slid around my waist pulling me back up against his body, his erection buried deep in my lower back.
“You’re welcome to convince me. I know I’ll enjoy the effort, Ms. Lourde, but images of you naked on my bed make me the most patient man in the universe,” he whispered, his teeth sinking into my lobe again, and I sighed against searing pleasure. “I plan to take you slow and easy…hot and quick until you’re shaking, though any effort on your part will be sweetly enjoyed.”
Didn’t he know? I’m shaking now, trembling even. “You’re incorrigible, did you know that?”
He slid my dress down over my hips, his fingers deftly zipping me up. “Well, there are three forms of punishment, you know. Capital, corporal and my favorite…sensual. I’m all for making you beg sweetly, baby. I live for that.” His hands flexed on my waist as he drew me closer, his eyes revealing the depth of his desire. “Tell me.”
I swallowed hard, “I love you.”
Noah drew his hand up, caressing over my parted lips. “Never stop.”
“Never."
He leaned closer as if to kiss me, but the spell was broken when the sounds of raised voices outside the door echoed through the stillness of the room, while the door handle r
attled with force.
Noah sighed, taking my hand in his and drew me close. "Let’s go upstairs, baby.”
As we reached the door, Noah flipped the lock and the door burst open making us jump back in surprise. Much to my shock, Danny shouldered past an angry Shem, fury etched on his face. The bodyguard lunged forward as if he meant to grab my cousin, but my no bounds man threw up his hand to stay his employee.
“Reyna! What the bloody hell are you doing here with…him?” My cousin fumed with unsuppressed anger, ready to combust.
Chapter 20
"No kind of sensation is keener and more active than pain…its impressions are unmistakable." - Marquis De Sade
In truth, I’m beyond shocked to see him here and so upset. “Danny? Oh my god,” I exclaimed, throwing myself in his arms, delight threading through my body as I’m wrapped up in his tight hug, ignoring his strange anger.
Danny pulled back, his dark eyes spitting fire. “Again, what are you doing here with him? I flipped my shit when Liz told me where you were,” he said, turning to glare at Noah. “And you! You should know better, but then again, I’m not surprised. Have you told her anything? Or is lithe seduction and lies your modus operandi, ‘ole chum?”
My eyes switched between Noah and Danny, confusion clouding my vision as I take a step back eyeing them. “Danny? Noah? Do you know each other? How…?”
“Oh good, we're all here for mouseketeer role call!”
The snaky woman from Noah’s house slithered in on a cloud of expensive perfume and a barely there black dress, winding her arm around my super hottie’s arm with full possession written over her face. “Hey doll, I missed you.”
There was no mistaking Noah’s jumpy cheek action or his hardening eyes as he gave Jasmine his death glare. More than that, as his eyes met mine, there was no doubt the weird truth hanging in the air, confirming my worst nightmare…he wasn’t honest with me…nor was he mine.
The blood drained from my face. I drew up tight, pulling my smashed reserve within my heart and jerking my sanity under control while the she-devil eyed me with smugness through her artfully made up face.
“Would someone tell me what the hell is going on?”
“Reyna—” Noah began only to be cut off by Danny.
“I think she’s finished with your brand of lies, Alexander. She’ll benefit from a dose of truth.”
Noah shrugged out of Jasmine’s sleazy grasp and spun me around, his face hard and his eyes feral. “Under the best of circumstances, I know this will shock you, but I have never lied to you Reyna.”
My breath lodged in my throat, killing my heart by every degree. “Then tell me what is going on.”
“He’s trying to tell you he’s my fiancé, sweet cheeks, but why he’s stumbling over the claim beats me. Isn’t that right, doll?” Jasmine’s syrupy voice dripped tons of sarcasm.
Like an instant vacuum, my heart plunged into darkness and I nearly fainted. Noah grasped my shoulders to prevent me from falling.
“Get out!” Noah blasted towards the she-devil, pulling me close as dizziness swam before my eyes, and pain filled my heart. “Look at me, Reyna. Please.”
I tried to focus, steeling myself against the pain flooding out my limbs from the center of my stomach and chilling me until shaking. “Y-you’re engaged?”
His lips pressed together, his grip on my arms tightening. “It’s not what you think. I’ve found myself cleverly wrapped in blackmail without a fucking rope. I would never presume to be with another woman if I wasn’t free.”
Danny snorted. “Christ, you’re a master manipulator. Tell us what you really think.”
Noah held my gaze, ignoring Danny, “This isn’t how I wanted to tell you, Reyna.”
I stiffened in his arms. “Then when? After you fucked me and had me full of compliance?”
Jasmine clicked her tongue. “Seems she knows you well, doll. I may like her after all.”
“I’m not such a man, baby. I’ve been honest with you about my past. Jasmine and her father used that knowledge by videotaping such a moment and used it to force a marriage between us. That’s why I went to New York, to put a stop to the whole thing—to free myself from their blackmail once and for all.”
The blonde laughed. “If you believe that, I’ve got a plot of land to sell you in pig’s holler. You love me, Noah. Just tell the truth and be done with her.”
He threw the other woman his death glare complete with jumpy cheek. “Get out before I wring your scrawny neck!” He seethed.
God, I felt a headache bursting behind my eyelids as his head swung back to me, feral and emotion filled. I stared at him, completely horrified. “I don’t know you at all,” I breathed. Tears stung my eyes, making me a complete fool…inside and out. I had the overwhelming desire to run, far, far away.
“Ignore her,” Noah pressed between clenched teeth. “She’s a piranha and a liar. What I’ve told you is the truth, Reyna.”
I tried not to focus on how beautiful he looked in this moment. His dark, disheveled hair, his scent filling my nose or the way I ached for his touch to soothe my pain. I pushed back from him, my anger over the top. “Really? I’ve heard enough.” I glanced over at Danny, his eyes full of compassion and my own anchor in the chaos unfolding around me. “Take me home,” I managed, tears threatening.
Noah’s hand descended on my arm. “What about your promise?” His voice was so low and full of pain, my heart almost burst and I almost relented.
I couldn’t look at him, my heart shattered, and my skin the only thing holding me together. “Under the circumstances, Mr. Alexander, it’s not me that broke any promises and…you…never made any. Now, let me go,” I breathed.
His hand flexed tight, his heat flooding up my arm. “We’re not finished."
"We are."
"You will always be my unfinished business," he warned before releasing me. "I'm coming for you, Reyna."
Before I could respond, I found myself engulfed in Danny’s protection with Liz at my side.
“Back off, Alexander. She’s been through enough.”
The rest was a blur, the car ride home and the tears obscuring my vision. It even hurt to breathe…every painful inhale a constant reminder I lived and hadn’t died though my insides clamored after impending death. I vaguely recalled Liz’s attempts at comfort or Danny’s brand of solace.
Nothing mattered.
I didn’t care nor did I want any soothing words. I just wanted to hide…to forget.
Anything but the pain.
Another tear fell as Danny pulled into the parking lot of my apartment, while Liz made to get out, but I couldn't let her smooth my stupidity with easy words and pity-filled comfort. What was the use? I alone had to wade through the shit pile and that didn't require an audience.
"I want to be alone." My voice grated low and raw.
Liz huffed. "Like that's wise."
I turned my angry gaze on my friend. "Alone, Liz."
"Reyna," Danny said, turning in the car to gaze at me. "You're guts have been trampled. Liz is right…you shouldn't have to suffer all by yourself. Let her stay or me--"
I snorted a small, inhuman laugh. "Trampled? He lied to me. He knew…" My words trailed off. He knew? Oh my God. How could he do this? I trusted him and he obliterated my heart with every velvet exhale. I closed my eyes against another bombardment of pain hitting me square in the chest, the burn so hot I wanted to pass out.
Danny grunted. "Fine. I'll take Liz home, and then I'll be back." Both Liz and I moved to protest, but he interrupted. "Fuck it, I'm coming back, Reyna--at least for the night. I can't leave you alone, even if you bury yourself in tears, I'll still be there to hand the tissues and make gobs of tea. For the love of Christ, go inside and I'll be back in thirty minutes," he fumed, running an irritated hand through his hair.
I wasn't even sure if I mumbled a reply or made it up to the front entrance of the building, but I did. My legs felt weak and my mind too numb for deep contemplatio
n. Yet, the door stood wide open, which was strange considering the Fort Knox security installed by…Noah. His name burned through my psyche, teasing my heart with another wave of debilitating pain. I couldn't think about him now! Yet, fool that I was I sank further into the darkness, his image swimming across my undisciplined brain. Dammit!
After blinking a few times, I watched two men haul Claire's sofa out and I gave way before flattened. A frown creased my brow with my stomach falling to my feet as I noticed the moving truck for the first time.
Panic rose up in my throat. "Hey! Where are you taking that? It belongs to my roommate."
The men stopped, heaving under their burden, and one spoke up. "Sorry, lady, but you'll have to direct your questions to Senator Smith inside. We're just the moving company following her orders."
~~~
At the doorway of my apartment, I stood in shocked silence as a flurry of movers stuffed Claire's belongings into packing boxes without seeming care. Bubble wrap and packing paper littered the floor, while several dollies graced the living room and hallway--some stacked with boxes labeled 'Bedroom'. Speed named the unknown game playing out in front of my eyes. Nothing remained of the once delicately decorated space--everything completely trashed or enclosed within the nondescript, mundane containers standing ready to be loaded on the truck downstairs. The smell of sweaty workers accompanied with the factory odor of paper filled the once cozy walls with a resounding smack of clarity…shit rained a nameless hell.
The mayhem coupled with my last nerve severed yanked me deeper into an unrealized throb of hurt. I knew Claire's presence in my life was temporary, somehow, but never to this extreme…on this night of all hellish events. Had I lost my best friend too?
"Ah, Reyna, there you are."
Senator Joanna Smith's elegant presence stepped from the kitchen, stowing her cell phone in her blazer pocket. She looked chic for fifty-seven years old inside her expensive pantsuit and crisp white shirt down to her perfect black stilettos. With her face free of wrinkles (probably medically so), makeup enhanced her stunning beauty and her blue eyes shown with intelligence and defined purpose. Shrewd was the name I'd have given her. Even her perfectly styled blonde bob created the haunting illusion of sophistication though her mouth was indeed set into an intolerable line of…anger. Yes, she was pissed.
