by Jack J. Lee
Anyone who had ever seen a George Romero movie about zombies basically knew how to fight them. The zombies were slow and predictable. It didn’t make sense, once the world knew what was going on, that zombie outbreaks would get out of control in a developed country like the US. In any fair fight between a close-to-equal number of humans and zombies, the humans should win. Before this outbreak there were 300 million Americans and, last I heard, there were approximately 2.5 guns for every American. Utah is a red state. Almost everyone in Utah has a gun. Hell I personally had three. If my neighbors who had been attacked had not been outnumbered 20-to-one, they probably could have beaten off the zombie attack. It made sense that a continent full of completely fucked-up governments, like Africa, would get overrun. It didn’t make any sense at all for the USA to be overrun when everyone in the US who had been paying attention to the news had to know how to kill zombies. This issue was brought up by numerous articles I downloaded from Google. Something else was going on. All efforts that should have worked to quarantine the zombie virus weren’t working.
I had been looking over my Google hits for a couple hours when the Harrisons returned with hugely distended bellies. Bob didn’t come back. I told myself the Harrisons could have been feeding on just dead zombies. It sounded like the shots came from a few miles away. They were probably coming from the local Mormon Church otherwise known as a ward. I didn’t think any government-run shelter for civilians would allow people to bring guns, whereas there is no way a bunch of Mormons preparing for zombies wouldn’t have guns. I hoped the ward was ok, but regardless, there had to be other survivors within walking distance. I needed to be able to get out of the house and explore. The longer I waited to leave my house, the less likely I would be able to hook up with any survivors.
This wasn’t a video game where I had an endless supply of lives if I made a mistake. One bite from a zombie meant I would die within a few days. I had to think this through. I had to take out the Harrisons and any other zombies within hearing distance of my house. I had to do this methodically, and count on being swarmed by zombies from time to time. Zombies had a top speed of two miles an hour. I had just run a 100 mile race. I knew I could outrun zombies for a while but I had to have a way to shake them from my trail and I couldn’t afford to lead them back to my home. I needed a way to silently kill zombies from a distance and quickly kill zombies up-close.
For the past 15 years, I have been using a bow to hunt deer and elk. I got introduced to the bow when I was involved in the Society of Creative Anachronisms in college. Dressing up in metal suits, smacking other guys in metal suits with sticks, and trying to talk like medieval knights got old quickly but I found out I really liked shooting a long bow. I typically practiced for at least 15 to 20 minutes a couple times a week. Most people who don’t shoot bows don’t know there are silencers for them. Many bows will make a twanging sound on the release that can spook a deer. If you tie a bit of fur, string, or feathers to a bow string, you can almost completely eliminate any sound on the release. I already had silencers on my bow. I was going to bow hunt zombies.
I needed an up-close weapon for killing zombies. I can’t stand stupidity in movies. A little piece of me dies every time I see an actor in a horror movie suggest splitting up the group while looking for a vicious monster, or starts looking for the monster without first finding a weapon. I can’t stand most horror flicks because the characters in them are so stupid. I guess that’s why the Romero flicks are considered classics; most of the characters in his movies aren’t stupid. If I had no other options, I would fight a zombie with a baseball bat or an axe, but it would be better to have something heavier than a bat and something that, unlike an axe, couldn’t get stuck in a zombie skull.
There is a door that goes from my bedroom into my lair. As I said, I have a fully equipped woodworking shop and a partially equipped metal working shop in the lair. I used all of this equipment when I was remodeling my house and installing all my renewable energy sources.
I took a double-bit axe the previous owner of my house had used to split firewood and left behind. It was old but still in good condition. I cut off the axe blades near the handles. I drilled a line of holes on either side of the axe head near the handle and then used a hacksaw to cut between the holes. I wound up with 3-foot-long hickory handle tipped with a metal head that was light enough to swing quickly, but heavy enough to be able to crush through a skull without any protruding blades that could get stuck. The ends where I had cut off the blades were ragged and looked mean; just brushing against them would lacerate flesh. This wasn’t an axe any longer; I had a mace.
I had my weapons. I now needed to decide on clothes. I decided on heavy jeans. I chose to wear my running shoes for more speed, instead of my leather hiking boots which would have given me more protection. I decided to wear a leather motorcycle jacket. I put on mountain bike forearm and elbow pads on the outside of my jacket. With the pads on, I could jam my forearm into a zombie’s mouth if I had to, without risking infection.
I put my leather motorcycle glove on my left hand; I couldn’t wear the right glove because I needed to be able to use my thumb ring quickly. Most archers in the US use the European-style, a three-fingered grip to shoot a bow. I prefer using the Asian method of using my thumb instead of my fingers to pull back the bowstring. The ring made of horn protects the thumb. Part of the fun in playing Robin Hood is shooting off a bunch of arrows as quickly as you can, which I found easier to do with a thumb ring. I decided not to wear my motorcycle helmet because I needed my peripheral vision. It was a tradeoff between protection and being able to see.
I needed to create escape routes that made it difficult for zombies to follow me. I decided to use the fact that most Sugar House homes had fenced-in back yards. These fences were in various states of repair but almost all of them were 6-feet high. When I was in my 20s, I would have thought nothing of jumping over these fences at top speed. At age 46, I never jump when I can step down. I could picture myself vaulting over a 6-foot fence and landing wrong, twisting my ankle or knee, and being eaten because I couldn’t run. That would be a stupid way to die. If I could install a step 3-and-a-half-feet high on either side of the fence, I could put a foot on the step, pull myself up to the top and step over, easily clearing my inseam (it’s important to me to protect my crotch), and then lower myself down backwards to the other side.
From what I saw on my camera footage, the zombies might be able to climb up a fence eventually, but would be slower than me, even if they were to use my steps. My next-door neighbor had a redwood picnic table in his back yard; I could break it up and use the wood to build steps. If I cleared out the fenced-in backyards and secured them so zombies couldn’t easily wander in and out, I could be reasonably certain the next time I entered, the yards would still be clear of zombies.
According to my surveillance footage over the last two days, zombies had a quiet period from 1 to four a.m. I would take out the Harrisons right before 1 a.m. and then break apart my next-door neighbor’s picnic table while the zombies slept.
Chapter 4: Mark Jones, September 13th to September 14th, Year 1
Sugar House neighborhoods have gas street lights. I was hoping that the lights would go on so it would be harder to look into my house when it got dark. Nope; the street lights didn’t go on but they weren’t necessary. Without light pollution from artificial lighting, the stars and moon seemed bright enough to read by. With the lights off in my house, no human eye would be able see anything through my windows. The difference between the light from the nighttime sky and my unlit house made my windows look like mirrors from the outside. Hopefully, zombie eyes worked the same as human eyes. I took all the dark sheets I had and duct-taped them over all my main floor windows. I double-sheeted the windows that faced the street; I didn’t have enough sheets to double-sheet the rest. I tried to time this activity when the Harrisons were walking away from the house. Then I took dry wall anchors and screws and screwed the sheets to the wall
s so they couldn’t accidently fall off. After this was done, I went back down into my bedroom. I made sure I didn’t turn on the light until my door was closed.
Around midnight I took out my bow and shot a few arrows in my lair to warm up. I was rusty and out of shooting shape; it takes strength to pull a 100-pound bow and I hadn’t shot my bow for almost six months. I didn’t want to practice too much and overwork my muscles. I climbed to the attic room, which has a dormer window facing the street. I counted on the fact that almost no creature weighing more than 60 lbs routinely looks up. Small animals that get hunted by hawks and eagles constantly look up; larger animals that aren’t hunted from the air almost never look up.
I waited for the Harrisons to walk away from my house then slowly opened the windows. Using my peripheral vision, I watched the Harrisons walk back and forth on my street in a steady almost-metronomic rhythm. I’d watched them for nearly 45 minutes when I knew it was time to take my shot. The Harrisons were walking away from me and Mr. Harrison was slightly behind his wife. I slowly drew my bowstring back. At the moment of my release I knew I was on target and as quickly as possible drew back another arrow and released it at Mrs. Harrison’s head; this shot was off. I drew and released again. Time seemed to slow. I could see my first arrow strike the back of Mr. Harrison’s head and protrude approximately six inches out of his left cheek. As he was starting to slump forward I could see my second arrow graze Mrs. Harrison’s right cheek. She turned her head to the right, her mouth starting to open to scream, when my third arrow struck her right temple and projected through her head and came out a few inches from her left temple. I couldn’t help myself. I laughed. It looked like she was wearing one of those arrow-through-the-head costumes.
I watched the Harrisons’ bodies for about half an hour. No additional zombies came by. It was probably safe to explore my backyard and my next-door neighbor’s. If zombies came by, they would hopefully notice the Harrisons and start feeding with enough noise to warn me. I powered up my upstairs laptop then immediately muted my computer so it wouldn’t make any noise. I logged on to my outside cameras, looking at my back yard. It looked clear. I went outside. My back yard was secured.
My house is close to the center of my lot. My garage is in one corner of my backyard, as far as possible from my front curb, a typical layout for my neighborhood. My house is on a street that ends in a cul-de-sac; my backyard butts into my neighbors’ backyards. All our backyards are separated by fences.
I’m 5’9” and weigh 165 pounds. I don’t have the height to look over a 6-foot-tall fence. I got out an 8-foot stepladder and placed it in the center of my yard and prepared to climb up it while holding my bow with an arrow out, ready to shoot. I could feel my heart beating as I thought about what I was going to do. As soon as I got my head above my fence, I knew that I would be able to see into the yards surrounding mine. Conversely whatever was in those yards would be able to see me. If a zombie saw me and screamed before I could kill it, I would be swarmed.
I hadn’t yet created an escape route that would lead the swarm away from my home. Any zombie could break through a window. My bedroom door is a typical hollow interior wood panel door that a zombie would have no problem breaking down. Only the doors to my lair were made out of reinforced steel. Sure those doors would keep zombies out but I only had a few weeks worth of food in my man cave. How long would zombies wait for me if they actually got into my main floor or bedroom? Up till now, I had been handling the craziness of today fairly well. Who expects to wake up surrounded by zombies? Do zombies retain memories? Would the zombies remember seeing me?
This was a gamble I had to take—if not now, then later. I needed to secure these yards to be safe. I could feel my pulse throbbing faster and faster. I realized I was starting to develop performance anxiety, so instead of climbing on the ladder, I sat down cross-legged and started to breathe deeply. I made every inhalation and exhalation last for three to four heart beats. I tried to recapture the feeling I had when I took my first shot at the Harrisons. After a few minutes of breathing slowly I could no longer feel the pounding of my heart. I knew as soon as I got to a height where I could see over multiple fences, I had to take in everything at once. If I saw a zombie, I had to shoot on instinct. Thinking would slow me down. I put my bow in my left hand and held on to an arrow and the bowstring with my right. Using only my feet, and balancing carefully, I began climbing the step ladder. I was still taking slow deep breaths.
I climbed the ladder until my head was ten feet off the ground and I could see into all the yards adjoining mine except the one blocked from view by my garage. The two yards abutting the back of my yard and the two on either side of my yard were clear. My sense of relief was like a blow. I almost felt lightheaded.
I don’t know why I looked up, but as I did, I made eye contact with something flying in the air towards me. It must have jumped a good 50 or 60 feet from the roof of the house whose backyard was directly behind mine. As I met its eyes, I knew it was intelligent and had been watching me for as long as I’d been outside. It was just few feet away from me, its body positioned like it was diving, its arms reaching for me, when I stepped backward off the ladder while dropping my bow and arrow. I moved without conscious thought, landing first on my toes then rocking backwards on my heels. I let my knees collapse. My buttocks hit my heels as I grabbed the stepladder and lifted it, so the top of the ladder hit the vampire from below, pushing it over and behind me.
I let go of the ladder and rolled on my back to a complete summersault on my feet in a full squat position, my back towards the vampire, which was within arm’s reach. I was still moving, almost balanced on my feet when I grabbed the ladder again. I swung the ladder against the vampire’s belly, striking with all the momentum and weight of my body. The vamp didn’t move or recoil from this blow. I felt like I had smashed the ladder into a boulder. The vampire grabbed the ladder with just one hand, pulled it from my two-handed grasp, and threw it with such force that it flew into a neighboring yard. Up till now, all my actions had been purely instinctual and, so far, ineffective. Apparently, I had not hurt it at all. I needed to think.
I turned my head away from the vampire, as if I was going to run away. The vamp was stronger and faster than me. It had been hunting me, carefully observing me, and waiting for the right time to strike. It was the predator; I was the prey. It had expected me to flee, because that is what prey did. I convinced it I was running way, and then turned back and reached for its throat with my right hand. It wasn't expecting that and when I moved closer to it, I gained a split second, which was all I needed to tear out its throat and then break its neck. Moments later, I was sitting on the ground, my face, neck, and chest covered with the vamp’s blood, and I was having my first full-blown panic attack. I have done a lot of dangerous things in my life, but I have never been this close to dying before.
As I was on the ground shaking, a thought crossed my mind: “This wasn’t boring.”
Chapter 5: Zutar Probe, January 6th, Year 1
On Earth, the rich used the poor as test subjects. Although basic research was done elsewhere, biological testing on humans occurred mostly in Africa. A controversial AIDS vaccine was being tested in Kenya. The vaccine used live attenuated viruses. A significant percentage of humans believed vaccines, especially those which used live viruses, were dangerous. Activists around the world were protesting against the use of live AID viruses in human test subjects. The probe designed the zombie virus to look like a mutation of this vaccine.
It determined to start the infection in Kenya. The only disadvantage to this plan was Earth’s strongest military power, the United States, had time to prepare for the zombie outbreak. To help compensate for the anticipated six to nine months of warning the US would have before the zombie virus reached its shores, the probe created multiple infectious agents—one easy to find with Earth level technology and two that were extremely difficult. To increase the likelihood of a successful intervention, it created anot
her human appropriate infestation—vampires.
The probe released its drone on January 6th. It released three biological agents. The first was a zombie virus that was transmitted by saliva. The second and third agents were prions. The second agent also created zombies—the third, vampires.
The second and third agents had airborne vectors. They initially caused silent infections. Wireless signals activated these agents converting an asymptomatic human into a zombie or vampire within a few hours. A single use drone released these agents in the high atmosphere as it headed toward Kenya. Earth’s rotation creates the Coriolis Effect; constant high winds that blow west to east above the equator and in the opposite direction below. These winds spread the prions throughout the world.
The zombie prion targeted individuals who were unhealthy, genetically impaired, or had chronic illnesses. Forty percent of Earth’s population was infected.
The probe wanted to decrease the number of humans and wanted creatures that could be used to overwhelm prepared human defenses. It did not want to drive humans into extinction or create another artificial sentient civilization. The vampire prion had a much lower rate of infection. Vampires fed only on human blood, were sterile, and had a lifespan of 300 years. Vampires would exist for one generation.
The probe controlled vampires with an electromagnetic signal. When they weren’t under probe control, they were intensely solitary predators that would fight and kill each other to defend their territories. Due to the tertiary directive, vampires were given an unnecessary sensitivity to light.
