Still laughing, he reached out with his paw, and the Goddess reached down and placed the shaeram on his smooth pad. She put her other hand underneath it, and he closed his paw around the shaeram and her hand both. He looked deeply into her eyes, those glowing eyes, and he just knew that he saw the love for him there, and could feel nothing but love for her in return. She was his Goddess, his Mother, and he would do anything she asked. Not because he had to, but because he loved her.
"I am your mother now, kitten," she said richly. "I made this body, and I held your soul inside me when I took it from your Soultrap and placed it and your memories inside you. In a way, I bore you into this new life, and that makes you as much my son as you are Elke Kael's son. So when you call me Mother, I want you to know that that's how I will always feel when you say it. You are my son, and I love you. And I will always be here for you."
"I love you, Mother," he said simply smiling up at her, still holding onto her hand, swallowing it up in his huge paw. "And I can't think of any honor greater than you thinking of me as your son."
"You and me, we share a special bond, now, my kitten," she smiled. "You were once a god. For a moment, you were my equal. How does that make you feel?"
"It makes me glad that I can't remember it," he said honestly. "I don't think I have any business remembering what that was like, or you wouldn't have sealed away some of the memories I gained when I was turned."
"Such a wise kitten," she smiled. "Now then, let's get you dressed and let you get out there and keep everyone from going crazy with anticipation," she announced. "There are quite a few people who are very anxious to see you, my son. Let's not keep them waiting."
She pulled her hand free, still holding the shaeram, and then gently and meaningfully took hold of the chain. He bowed his head, and she slid it over his head, settled it around his neck, putting it back where it belonged. It felt immediately right for it to be there, and he reached up and touched it fondly with a single finger. She reached out, and his black-bladed sword appeared in her hands. She offered it to him, and he took it from her carefully, so as not to cut her by accident. In the instant of that touch he felt something...different about the blade. It seemed no different, but there was something lurking within it, something powerful, something that defied his ability to make sense of it. He looked to the Goddess sharply, and she only smiled.
"As it changed you, so it changed your sword," she told him. "You poured your power and awareness into it. When a god does that, the object is forever afterward different. It gains powers of its own, sometimes takes on its own mentality. That, my kitten, is how a god makes an artifact. Even though you're a mortal again, this sword is yours, and it won't let anyone else use it. It will always be there to help you when you need it, but remember, kitten, that it's as much an asset to you as it is your responsibility to keep it from doing harm."
Tarrin touched the blade of his prized sword reverently. An artifact. A unique weapon of great power, created by a god to perform a function or service. This sword had been created by him, probably to help him fight Val. And now it was his again, his prize, and also his responsibility.
Tarrin wondered absently why in the world he chose the sword. He was much more comfortable with a staff. Then again, like any smart warrior, he knew that there was a time to use a specific weapon. Maybe at that time, facing that enemy, he felt that the sword was the better choice.
He was wasting time. He wanted to see his mate and daughter, and make sure everyone knew he was alright. "Has Kimmie had her baby yet?" he asked as he got out of the bed. The Goddess made clothes appear in her hands, and he took a pair of leather trousers from her that were so soft they were like silk.
"She did," she answered as Tarrin put them on. "But I want that to be her surprise, not mine. So you'll just have to wait and see."
"Spoilsport," he teased as he took a supple vest from her and pulled it on. He pulled his braid out from under the vest, and realized quite suddenly that the braid was the only thing about him that was from the original him. Everything else was new, though it felt more and more after every passing second like it was the old him. Breaking in, the Goddess had called it. Well, he was doing that already.
"I would be for Kimmie if I told you," she responded. "Now come on, kitten. They're waiting for us."
Tarrin tamped his feet a few times, getting the very last of the tingling out of him, and then started towards the ornate iron gate. He remembered that gate well, for it had been the obstacle that allowed Tarrin to strike the first blow against Jegojah. Much of that fight had happened right here in this chamber. Alot of history here, he realized as the Goddess opened the gate, and he stepped through it, stepping into the long passage that led out into the Tower proper.
They got out into the circular passage surrounding the Heart, and Jenna jumped off of a chair and rushed towards him, tears flying from her eyes. She cried out his name, and he leaned down and let her jump into his arms. He held her close as she gripped him tightly, desperately, and he took in her scent with eyes closed and let himself revel in embracing his sister.
"I can't believe it!" Jenna said as she pushed away enough to put her hands on his face, relying on his hold on her to keep her from tumbling to the floor. Her feet were dangling more than two spans off the polished stone of the floor. "Mother said you were dead, but that she could--that you--oh, Tarrin! You're home!" she cried in joy, then hugged him again.
"Not quite home, but it's good to be back with you, Jenna," he told her gently, patting her on the back. "What happened after I left?"
"What do you remember?"
"Not much," he answered. "What happened at the battle?"
"Well, there really wasn't a battle," she laughed ruefully. "Right about when we really committed to it, you and Val started tearing the earth apart, and everyone had to run for their lives. Months of planning wasted. Kang and Darvon were very, very mad."
Tarrin laughed. "I guess they would be," he agreed. "What happened to the Goblinoids?"
"What few survived are probably still up there," she answered. "After you--well, after Val was destroyed, the gods brought us back here. We didn't have time to hunt down the survivors and finish them off. We wouldn't have even if we had time. Everyone was pretty much well stunned by what we saw."
"What did you see?"
"Let's just say that when you kill someone, brother, you really don't fool around," she told him with a slight smile. "Now then, I think Mother is about to scold me for holding us up here, so let's go see the others. They're all waiting in Jesmind's apartment."
Tarrin set Jenna down, and after the Goddess waved them onward impatiently. They walked behind her, and Tarrin reflected on what the Goddess had told him in the Chamber of the Heart. He guessed she was right. An event like the one he had come through couldn't help but change him. But he didn't feel any different, and from the way she talked, the change in him would be one that would matter only to someone like Phandebrass, someone nitpickingly precise. He may have been a god, but that had only been for a couple of moments, and thankfully it was over. The god Tarrin had destroyed himself, and the mortal Tarrin had managed to scrape out his own survival with yet another wild, half-formed plan that somehow seemed to work. They were two different people as far as he was concerned, and hopefully, none of that other stuff that the Goddess mentioned would happen. After all, it was now over. Val was dead, the day of the Firestaff's activation had come and gone, and he no longer had any need of power or position. He had braved the rapids for two years, and now it was time to float on the gentle currents in the wide pool at the bottom of those rapids. There may be rapid further down the river that was his life's course, but for now, he would enjoy the peace and quiet of being done.
The suffering was over. Now, the living began.
Sorcerers stopped in their tracks and gaped at the tall, tall Were-cat as he passed, looking like they'd seen a ghost. Servants and guards melted out of the way of the Goddess, looking pale and nervous.
They probably knew that a god was going by, and nobody could look at her and not be utterly awed. Tarrin ignored them, keeping a gentle hold on Jenna's hand, just happy that he'd been given a second chance. He couldn't remember being dead, and for some reason he was glad of that. It was best if he never knew what that was like, better to only know of what was before him. That was why he was glad he had no memory of being a god. That way there was no grounds for comparison, no knowledge of anything except what he had, what he was, and all the joys and hardships that went along with it. It was the bliss of ignorance, and it was an ignorance that he embraced willingly. He wanted nothing detracting from the experiences of this life, his life. He wanted no veil of regret distorting things as he watched his daughter grow up, as he spent all the time with Jesmind that he could before time and their Were natures pushed them apart. He wanted to enjoy it for all it was worth, never knowing if other states of being he had experienced were actually better than what he had. Being happy with the simple pleasures and trials of being a mortal. To him, grounded in the Were instincts of celebrating life, there could be nothing better. The same qualities that had made him the best mortal suited for defending the Firestaff were the qualities that made him reject the memory of what he had once been, made him blissfully content to return to a simple life of uncomplicated happiness.
All he had ever wanted out of life was a cozy house in a meadow surrounded by the beauty and wonder of the forest. A place where he could simply live. And he meant to have just that. There was nothing stopping him now, nothing holding him back, no vows or missions or duty standing in his way. He was free now, free to do anything he wanted, free to pursue the life for which he had yearned.
He was free.
Never before had he found such joy in such a simple thing. Service to the Goddess was a sweet bondage, but she understood his nature, and she knew that he would be happiest when he was in service to no one but himself. He loved his Goddess, and he had served her needs over his own willingly, but now she no longer needed her Champion. There was nobody left for him to fight. He would always be there when she needed him, and she knew it, but for now, he was certain that she'd be perfectly happy to leave him alone, to enjoy the simple life of a Were-cat who had had enough of the human world and its irritatingly chaotic bustling. It was time to go back to where he felt he belonged, to the place where everything was simple and pure and wonderfully slow and boring.
It was time to go home.
Before he realized it, he was standing at the door to Jesmind's apartment. The Goddess and Jenna had stepped aside, and both of them were smiling at him encouragingly. They wanted him to go in first. Well, that was just fine with him. He was just a little intimidated by what he was going to face in that room, but he knew that it would be wonderful. He put his paw on the doorhandle confidently, and then swung the door open.
For a brief instant, nobody noticed the opening of the door, and Tarrin took in the scene before him. Jesmind had Jasana in her arms, her back currently to him as she paced to and fro in front of the fireplace. Eron was trailing along behind her easily, his eyes fixated on the twitching tip of Jesmind's tail. Keritanima and Allia sat with Miranda around a small table playing cards with Dolanna, as Azakar, Binter, and Sisska stood close to them. Phandebrass had a book in his lap, scribbling in it furiously as Camara Tal, Koran Tal, Dar and Tiella were gathered around Mist and Kimmie. Each of them was holding something very small in their arms, something over which Sarraya was hovering. Triana stood silently at the door-sized window that led out onto the balcony, her tail motionless as she gazed out to the city beyond. Auli was there as well, along with Allyn, and they were looking at a piece of paper in the hands of Rallix, the badger Wikuni that was Keritanima's husband. Ianelle was with them, pointing to something on it and looking at the thin Wikuni male with steady eyes. Darvon and Kang were standing near the large tea table by the fire, leaning over it with the Demoness Shiika, arguing over some kind of military tactic or something similar as the Demoness watched and learned from the two towering military minds with narrow-eyed interest. For a brief moment, Tarrin felt the emptiness of the two who were supposed to be there. Jula was missing, left behind by a forgetful Triana, but at least he could get her back. But Faalken was gone, and there seemed to be a faint quality about the room that spoke of him, as if he watched from his eternal reward and celebrated with them. In a way, Tarrin realized, the cherubic Knight would have found some reason to think that all this was rather funny.
So many people in such a small room, but it was the two that were missing that struck mostly in his mind and soul.
The first one to notice him was Jasana. She had her chin on her mother's shoulder, and she raised her eyes and saw him standing in the doorway. She squealed suddenly and thrashed against her mother, startling her badly enough to make her let go. Every eye locked on Jasana, which kept all of them from noticing him. Jasana hit the ground running, and her overjoyed exclamation rung like the sweetest music in his ears.
"Papa!!!!!!"
Tarrin knelt down, and he collected up his precious child in arms trembling in joy and relief. He held onto her tightly, taking in her scent, holding her close, and in tears in his joy at seeing her. He had asacrificed everything for this priceless child, this wondrous gift in his arms, and he would do it all again without hesitation. All the pain and anxiety over having her stolen from him, of not knowing if she was well, of knowing she was in the hands of his enemies, it all poured out of him, poured out of him and was forgotten as it found release, as he held his daughter in his arms and knew that she was safe. He put his paw on her head with exquisite tenderness and just held her for that moment, one of the happiest moments of his life.
Jesmind crashed into them, her claws digging into him as she crushed their daughter between them. Tarrin put an arm around her and embraced her, kissed her, heard her loud cries and sobs of joy. Other scents, other hands, crowded in on him, all over him, sisters and friends and dear travelling companions crowding around him, touching him, voices calling out in happiness and relief. His daughter in his arms, his mate by his side, and surrounded by friends and family, Tarrin knew that he would never find happiness and contentment any better than this, that this was better than anything, even being a god. Nothing compared to the power of the love held between him and these special people, and in their reunion he knew that everything was well, and everything was good, and there could be nothing better in all the universe than this.
He pried Jesmind off of him enough to embrace in turn both his sisters, and then all of his friends, as their excited voices whirled around and around in his ears. Keritanima was crying with joy, but stately Allia allowed no more than a single tear to well up in one eye. There were strangers present, and she had the honor of the clan to maintain, after all. She'd save her very emotional outburst for when they were in proper company. That almost made Tarrin laugh, but that was his sister, and he wouldn't change her for anything. Camara Tal gave him a warm hug, and he could sense the life growing inside her. Dar clapped him on the back, having to reach up quite a bit to do so, and tiny Sarraya settled for hugging his neck while he was nuzzling Miranda. He put down Jasana and picked up Eron, but his daughter clung to his leg as his son kissed him on the cheek and flung his tiny arms around his neck. He gave Mist a fierce hug, and then folded Dolanna in a gentle embrace that was full of warmth. He got crushed by Triana's powerful arms, making him wheeze and nearly breaking his ribs, then wrapped Kimmie in his arms and made a point of putting a paw on her now flat belly with loving eyes. He embraced Auli and Tiella in turns, then shook the hands of Rallix and Allyn and Koran Tal. Kang saluted him sharply, but Darvon gave the Were-cat a rough hug full of pride. Ianelle kissed him on each cheek, and he even found it in himself to reach out and put his arm around Shiika, in her wingless, human form, braving her unnatural scent.
"Hold on, hold on!" the Goddess said happily. "I think our kitten has some new people to meet!" She stepped forward with two tiny bundles i
n her arms, held protectively, and Shiika moved aside enough to let him see those two precious infants in her arms. Tarrin's heart melted when he saw two exceptionally tiny little faces, pink and soft, tiny little Were-cat infants with dazzling, deep blue eyes. Just like their mother. His paws trembled when he reached out and took one of them, touching the tiny baby's forehead with the tip of his huge finger. His paw was bigger than this exquisitely tiny little child, branding her scent into his memory just as he had for Jasana and Eron.
"S-She's so small!" he said in wonder.
"They were born a bit early, kitten, and there were two of them sharing space in Kimmie's belly. That didn't give them much room to grow. But don't worry, they'll both be strapping tall. In no time, they'll be normal sized babies. They just need a little nourishment and some loving attention, that's all."
Kimmie took the other infant and held it up so he could see her. "This is Tara," she told him with a rich voice. "And the one in your arms is Rina. They're your daughters, Tarrin."
"They're beautiful," he whispered in joy, looking down at them.
"And they're going to be just as spoiled rotten as Jasana and Eron!" Keritanima announced in glee, sweeping Jasana up into her arms and twirling her in the air. "You have a queen as an aunt, cub! I can shower you with all sorts of wonderful gifts, and I mean to do just that! I'm going to spoil you so bad your father is going to be furious with me!"
"Spoil my son and answer to me, Kerri," Mist warned, but she was smiling.
"Fine then. Just as soon as I finish spoiling him, you can send me the bill. I'm a rich woman, Mist. I can pay it."
That actually made Mist laugh.
"It's so good to see you, my mate," Jesmind said with her heart in her eyes, looking up at him. "When I thought I'd lost you, I--"she broke off, looking away from him.
"Well, you didn't," he told her gently. "I knew this might happen, so I took some precautions. Now I'm glad I did."
Tarrin Kael Firestaff Collection Book 5 - Weavespinner by Fel © Page 87
