For Miracle Irby Wininger
Thank you for supporting me. It’s meant so much.
Table of Contents
Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Chapter 34
Chapter 35
Chapter 36
Chapter 37
Chapter 38
Chapter 39
Chapter 40
Chapter 41
Chapter 42
Chapter 43
Chapter 44
Chapter 45
Chapter 46
Chapter 47
Chapter 48
Chapter 49
Epilogue
Acknowledgments
About the Author
Prologue
Wally
For far too long I stood on the steps of the Victorian home before me trying to gain the nerve I needed to enter. It’s only dinner, I told myself. Just an hour. Maybe two and then I can leave.
I knew what I was doing. It’s what I did every time I saw my family. I was waiting. Waiting to see who was there, whose questions I’d have to dodge, whose passive insults I’d have to suffer.
It wasn’t that I necessarily cared what they thought of me, but it never felt good to get belittled. And why would I want to be? They’d ask how my “career” was going. They’d ask if I’d found a nice girl. They’d ask if I had my own place yet.
The answer to all those questions was the same. Eh.
They didn’t care anyway. I knew what I was to them. The joke. The black sheep. Feeling sorry for me made them feel better about themselves.
Maybe it bothered me because I could see the truth in their pity. My life did kind of suck.
Mulling my options over, I ran a hand through my long, messy hair, making a mental note to ask Nicole or Marlowe to cut it.
When my Aunt Lisa appeared in the window, inspecting a book on the table, my mind was made up. If she was there, Trey was there. Alone, each of them were pretty bad, but together…fuck that. Already I could hear her saying, You know, Trey was just hired at a really great Law Firm. Or Did you see his new Mercedes? Who cared? Maybe I should be happy for my cousin, but he was an ass. And his mom kind of was too.
I was turning to leave but stopped dead when a black-haired woman came into view. “Damn,” I muttered. She had full lips, and dark eyes. The sleeveless top she was wearing showed off her tan skin and curves. I knew I’d never seen this knockout before, and had no idea why she’d be at one of my family’s dinners.
Maybe I can stay for a bit, I thought. Dealing with everyone else’s shit would be worth it if I could find out who she was. Before I lost my nerve, I pushed through the front door. My foot had barely crossed the threshold before my mom’s arms were wrapped tightly around me.
“You made it!” she exclaimed, pressing a kiss to my cheek.
I chuckled. “Yeah, yeah. I’m here.”
She pulled back and narrowed her eyes. “You need to call your mother more,” she said. “I worry about you.”
“I know,” I said with a sigh—never mind that I’m 31 years old. “What are we eating?”
The knockout had come into the room and was sitting on the arm of the couch, watching me with a grin. My eyes met hers and stayed there.
“Pot Roast,” my mom said, leading me into the kitchen. As I passed her on the couch, I gave her a flirtatious smile. She blushed and turned away from me. I was so in.
My cousin Trey had called her Kristen, so now the beauty had a name. She sat across from me at the table, her eyes drifting in my direction too often to be happenstance. She and my cousin weren’t acting as if they were in any kind of relationship, but I knew that didn’t mean anything.
“Wally,” my Aunt Lisa said, breaking my thoughts. “Are you still in-between jobs? You know, Trey just got promoted, maybe he could find you something at his firm.”
“No thanks,” I said, laughing away her offer. “I’m doing good with the skydiving.”
“Is there a lot of money to be made doing that?” my aunt asked. “You need to think about that.” She shook her fork at me. “Plan for the future.”
“There isn’t really,” I told her honestly. “But it’s fun and I like it.”
“Money isn’t everything,” Kristen said, and the table went awkwardly quiet, all eyes settling on her. Noticing, she followed up with, “Sometimes it’s more fulfilling to do what you love.”
She had guts. In this family, money was absolutely everything. Maybe she hadn’t realized that yet or maybe she didn’t care.
Across the table, our eyes met. “And what do you do?” I asked her.
“I run an Animal Shelter,” she said. “The pay’s not great, but I can’t complain. Not many people get to hang out with puppies for a living.” My heart skipped when the full radiance of her smile landed on me. It lit up her entire face and made her eyes sparkle. I didn’t even try to hide my appreciation of it.
“That reminds me,” Trey said to her. “I’m going to come by tomorrow and help out at your Volunteer Day. Afterwards we can go to that Korean restaurant you’re always talking about.” When he’d finished, he looked at me, his eyes hard, telling me to back off. So they were dating. I chuckled. It wasn’t my fault if his girl was into me.
After dinner, I was in the living room watching football with my Uncles. Eventually, the talk turned to my grandfather, a sore subject for me. Not wanting to be pulled into their discussion, I went out to the porch and propped against the railing. I could leave if I wanted. I’d done what I needed to. Came and had dinner. Showed my face. Let them know that I was alive.
Just before I stepped off the porch, the door opened and Kristen walked out. She didn’t look surprised to see me, so I knew she’d intentionally sought me out. “Hey,” she smiled and came to the railing, leaning next to me.
“Getting bored?” I asked her.
“Maybe a little,” she smirked. “Your family is…interesting.”
I huffed my agreement. As if she was studying me, she tilted her head and squinted her eyes. “You don’t seem like the rest of them,” she said.
“In a good way, though?”
“Yeah,” she laughed. “In a good way.”
Now that we were alone, I took my time to really look at her. She wasn’t like the other girls Trey had dated—pantsuits and skirts, salon styled hair, high-pitched voices, and snooty attitudes. She was wearing jeans and a bright blue tank top with a black skull across the front. Her voice was a little husky, giving each of her words a sexy edge.
“Trey doesn’t really look like a guy you’d date,” I said.
Her lips pulled to the side in an amused smile. “And what kind of guy would I date?”
“Oh, I don’t know,” I said. “Tall and slender with brown, shaggy hair. Maybe a strong nose and jaw. Some shoulder tats. Also a killer sense of humor. Not to mention dynamite in the sack.”
She laughed and tilted her
head back, making her hair cascade down shoulders. “You might be right,” she grinned. “And Trey and I aren’t dating. We’re just friends.”
I raised my eyebrows. “Friends? Family dinners seem a little more than friendly.”
“Alright,” she said, chuckling. “Maybe we’re a little more than friends, but I didn’t know it was a family dinner. He sort of sprung that on me. I told him I didn’t have plans tonight and he offered to get me some food. Leaving out the part that it would be at his family’s house. With his entire family.”
She was smiling, and I was smiling. We didn’t know each other in the slightest, but something about this girl was doing things to me. I wanted to take her home. I wanted to show her what a good time really was. From the way she was looking at me, I think she’d be down for it. My family would flip though, and I’d never hear the end of it.
Contemplating it, I scratched the back of my head, using the opportunity to check out her body. God, what it would feel like to have those legs wrapped around me, those hands gripping my back.
While I was still imagining all the ways I’d have her by the time the night was through, my Aunt Lisa came out onto the porch.
“Kristen,” she smiled. “Can you come here for a second? I want to show you our vacation pictures from Rome. We just got back last week. It was marvelous.”
“Sure,” she said, sounding polite, and pushed off the railing.
My aunt looked at me. “Are you heading home, Wally?” From her rude stare, it was obvious that she thought I should be.
“Yeah. Tell everyone I said bye.” She went inside and Kristen went to follow, but lingered at the door. Maybe I could still take her home. She didn’t seem all that eager to stay. Hell, she didn’t even want to admit that she was having something with Trey. When she smiled and ducked her head, I thought that she looked sweet. Maybe even adorable, and my decision was made. She deserved better than what I could give her. “I’ll see you around,” I waved.
“I hope so,” she grinned and walked inside giving me some serious ‘fuck me’ eyes.
Well, shit. This chick was an irresistible little vixen. A sweet, adorable, provocative vixen. Chuckling, I walked to my car, and hoped I’d see her again, too.
Chapter 1
I could feel it, the oppressive weight of being stuck. It was heavy, pushing on my lungs. But I wasn’t above lying to myself. I made excuses. I rationalized. You just need some more time, I’d tell myself. Don’t worry about it today. Deal with all this shit tomorrow.
In truth, I felt bored. Nothing in my life was challenging or exciting. I’d broken up with Trey weeks ago, but in a cowardice sort of way, utterly at odds with my usual slice and dice break ups. Instead of ending it completely, I’d played the whole let’s just take a step back thing.
Wallowing in self-pity, I laid on my bed, fluffing the pillow beneath my head. A yellow glow illuminated one of my walls, and the steady sound of streaming water filtered out of my bathroom. I did my best not to think about the naked man currently using my shower.
So, naturally, that was all I thought about.
I didn’t love him. I never did. He didn’t love me. We were fillers. Bored and using one another. I let him come over because it was convenient. I didn’t attend bars regularly. I didn’t have a large group of friends. For me, it was get up, go to work, sleep, and do it all over again. Where was I going to meet someone? Did I even want to meet someone? Why did I feel like I needed to?
I could hear Trey humming. It was a ritual he performed. After sex, he showered, humming the entire time. Months ago, I might have found it cute. Now, I rolled my eyes and searched the room for my robe. I spotted it on the floor, put it on, and made my way to the kitchen, needing to be away from him and his annoying humming.
I spotted my cell phone and saw that I had a missed call from my mother. Not wanting to be overheard, I went to my back porch and called her. After a few rings, she answered.
“Hey punkin,” she said.
“Hey,” I responded. “Saw that you called.”
“Oh, I was just checking in. Haven’t heard from you in a few days. Everything’s good?”
“Sure,” I said. “Not much different than the last time I talked to you. I bought a new pair of shoes. You’d like them.”
“That’s nice, sweetie.”
It was coming. I could feel it. I started searching my brain trying to find something we could talk about before she said it.
“There’s a new show I’m watching,” I told her. “It’s about some doctors in Britain. That actor you like is in it. What’s his name? Jeremy…Jeremy something.”
“Mmhmm,” she said. “Why haven’t you called Kevin back?”
“Uuuughh,” I groaned. “I don’t want to call Kevin back.”
“Why not?”
“Because,” I said. “I don’t want the job, mom. I like my job.”
“But it pays so much more. It’s closer to your dad and me. You’d like it. I know you would.”
I knew how much this meant to her. She had my best interests at heart, but when it came down to it, more money and location didn’t make up for the fact that I didn’t want the job. Period. I’d been managing the Westhill Animal Shelter for nearly a year, and I loved it. It was probably the only aspect of my life that I did love. I wasn’t throwing that away.
“Tell Kevin I’m grateful,” I said, “but I don’t know anything about managing a medical office—”
“But you can learn,” she cut me off.
“Mom, I don’t want it. I like my job. Really, I do. I’m happy with it.”
She sighed. It was long and filled with disappointment. “Oh, alright. Fine. I was just hoping that you could come here, meet you a good man, settle down, and give me some grandbabies.”
I chuckled softly. “You’ll just have to settle with Malcolm’s.” Malcolm, my brother, had two beautiful children. My mother was being greedy.
She let up after that and we continued to talk for another ten minutes. Not about anything of importance, which sometimes was exactly what you needed. Just a good talk about absolutely nothing. I walked inside in a better mood than when I’d walked out.
That changed when I heard Trey in my bedroom. He was talking to someone on his phone, loud and obnoxiously. I’d hoped that he’d be gone by the time I made it back in. No such luck.
With a huff, I wrapped my robe tighter around me and propped up against my table, waiting for him to finish his phone call so I could make up a reason for him to leave.
In the other room, I could hear him arguing back and forth with whoever. “No,” he said. “I told them that we aren’t settling.” Slight pause. “This is bullshit. It’s a good deal, they should fucking take it.”
Fully dressed he walked into the room and placed his hand over the phone’s speaker. “Sorry about this,” he loudly whispered. “I’ll just be another minute.”
Like I care that you’re on the phone, I thought, hoping my eyes would tell him what my mouth didn’t.
With a plop he sat on my couch and started stuffing his feet into his shoes. This was a good sign. It meant I probably didn’t have to come up with an excuse.
For another few minutes I listened to him argue and puff up his chest, cursing unnecessarily as if it made him more intimidating. I don’t know why I continued to do this. Was I so bored that I lowered myself to sleeping with a man I barely liked?
I sighed, looking away from him. Yeah, I was. Maybe I did need to get out more. Trey was the only man I’d even dated in the last year. And it’d lasted, what, maybe a month?
Trey mistook my internal struggle for something else entirely. Out of nowhere he was in my personal space.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I know I can’t keep taking off like this, but I gotta go. Another crisis at the office.”
“That’s fine,” I said, meaning it.
He smirked, like I was putting him on, then shook his head, as if to say, Women…always with their games.
Give me a fucking break.
“Really, it is fine,” I said again.
He leaned in, giving me a kiss on the cheek. “Thanks for tonight,” he said and patted me on the behind.
When he was finally gone, I walked into my bedroom and sat on the bed. Now all I could do was wait for more hot water so I could shower off my shame.
Chapter 2
Nothing was more loving than the eyes of a dog. I was staring at one of our former residents—Scrappy. He was white, with curly hair, sizing somewhere between a lap dog and a large breed. So much sweet love was looking back up at me. Thank you, his eyes said. Mamie, one of my workers, was driving us back to the animal clinic. She was young, around 22 or so. A few of the other workers teased her about her name, but she owned it. She had a sway to her hips and a killer smile, shooting confidence into the face of anyone who tried to bring her down.
“He looks scared,” she said.
“He should be,” I told her. “Poor thing.”
Scrappy had been adopted a few weeks ago. I’m always happy to see my animals leave for loving homes, and it seemed like Scrappy had hit the jackpot. But about a week ago, I received a phone call from the ex-girlfriend of the man who adopted him. She had some concerns about the care of Scrappy. He wasn’t being fed properly, locked in a kennel for nearly 24 hours a day, and even, according to the ex, was occasionally abused. I knew better than to trust the word of just anyone, and naturally, being an ex, she might be vindictive. She refused to call the cops, but I couldn’t let it slide. I did some sleuthing, and found that most of what she reported to me was true.
After getting nowhere with the authorities, I took it upon myself to save Scrappy. With Mamie being the getaway driver, I jumped the fence, rescued him from his kennel, and ran back to the car.
“What if the owner finds out?” Mamie asked.
“I guess we can play dumb,” I said. “Sheila already has someone lined up to take him. As sad as it sounds, if you add abused to any animal’s dossier, all kinds of people line up to adopt.”
“We should just add abused to every animal then.”
“No,” I said, giving Scrappy a rub. “That is wrong for so many reasons.”
Back at the clinic, we cleaned him, fed him, and waited for the new owners to arrive.
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