by C. A. Harms
Josh remained buried inside me as he held himself up on his arms to keep from collapsing on top of me. The only sounds were the both of us attempting to calm our ragged breaths. The brush of his fingertips over the thigh I still had hooked over his hip was soothing. My body relaxed even more at his touch.
***
The unfamiliar ringing of a cell phone woke me from a deep sleep. A groan of protest fell from Josh’s lips, and I laughed.
“It’s still dark out,” he snarled. “Who the hell is calling you this early?”
“That would be your phone,” I told him, and he groaned once more in aggravation.
“Those motherfuckers.”
I giggled at his words. My reaction was unavoidable. He was so cute when he was half-asleep.
It stopped after the fourth ring, and Josh wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled my body against his, burying his nose in my neck. A satisfied sigh escaped him.
The ringing began once more, and he released his hold on me and twisted his body toward the side of the bed. My room was dark, but light shined through the blinds, highlighting his naked body. I shivered from the effect he had on me with only a glance.
“What?” he snapped as he answered his phone. The anger in his tone made me jump in surprise. “Frank, it’s four in the fucking morning. Can’t this shit wait?”
He paused, and I pulled the covers up around my body.
“Fine,” he said in a clipped tone, followed by a long pause and a frustrated sigh. “I said I would be there, and I will.”
He hung up. A few seconds passed in silence, then the bed dipped at my side. “I gotta go into the office.” I could hear the hesitation in his voice. He was torn, and I didn’t want to make things harder on him. Yes, I wanted to grab him and pin him to the mattress, forcing him to stay. I knew, though, that he had a demanding job and obligations.
“I understand, really I do. I’ll have to get up and get ready in an hour or so anyway.”
The touch of his palm against my cheek forced my eyes to close.
“Last night was amazing,” he whispered before he placed his lips against mine. “I don’t want to leave you yet.”
And the truth was, I wasn’t ready to let him go, either.
Chapter 13
Josh
“What the hell were you thinking? You cannot bargain with men like Leo. He will find a way to get beneath your skin, and he will test you at every turn.” Frank slammed his fist on his desk and narrowed his eyes at me. “This is the most important operation of your career. You fuck this up, Josh…” He shook his head and pulled his hands through his hair. “I don’t need this stress, Josh. I said no ties. It’s best that way.”
His damn idea to monitor us when we met with Leo was fucked up. He had each of us bugged, so there was no way to hide that I had let myself become involved.
“Are you gonna be able to hold it together?” Frank asked with a look that made him seem like he was barely hanging on to his sanity. “Because another fucking mistake like the one you pulled last night may be the one that ends you.” He took a seat behind his desk.
“I got it,” I assured him.
“Are you sure? Because I can assure you that the other night was just the beginning of this fucked-up mess. You will find yourself thrown into unavoidable situations, and at times you’ll feel like you can’t go through with it, but you’ll have to. It will be the only way to come out of this on top.”
I sat staring back at Frank with the biggest damn lump in my throat.
“People will get hurt, innocent people. It’s unfortunate, Josh. Believe me, I know this. It’s sad our world thrives on harming vulnerable, defenseless people. But you know we can’t guarantee the safety of anyone in this game Roman’s playing. We can only hope for the best.”
“I know.” I felt defeated. I knew this case was going to be the one that tested me. I also knew it couldn’t have come at a worse time.
“I met someone.” I had told myself I wasn’t going to say anything. But keeping a secret was weighing on me, and Frank had been with the bureau for a very long time. I knew if anyone understood how to balance a personal life and work, it would be him.
“End it,” he said with little emotion.
I hadn’t expected that. “What?”
“You know getting involved with someone right now won’t work. You have to have a clear head. You have to be able to follow through with the plan and come out in the end knowing you accomplished the job.” He leaned forward and locked eyes with me. “And you cannot risk her safety. If for some reason your identity is revealed, they will go after you in the worst way possible.”
The idea of Gabby being in danger made my stomach drop. It was the last thing I wanted to happen. But walking away from her was something I just couldn’t do. I would just have to be careful, and she would have to understand how important it was to keep things between us low key.
***
A little after eight, a light tapping on the door broke the silence of my office. I looked up as Mike, Greyson, and Trevor entered the room.
“We just got word that the shipment comes in tomorrow night,” Trevor announced as they all took a seat. Trevor was our intel man. He and his agents worked behind the scenes and were responsible for keeping us safe. “The warehouse is being prepped, and my agents will be there to help you look like you’ve been running a smooth, secure operation for years. Leo will not suspect a thing. It’s up to you three to play your parts expertly.”
I didn’t miss how they were all looking directly at me after that last comment. “You fuckers got something to say?” I asked.
Mike cleared his throat, and Greyson shot him a glare, then turned back to meet my stare. “We just need to know your head’s in the game, man.”
I was lectured the fuck out today. After talking to Frank, my mood was shit, and now I had to deal with my team questioning my dedication.
“With your new girl Gabby and all—”
“Don’t fucking bring her into this,” I snapped at Mike. “This has nothing to do with her.”
“That’s where you’re wrong, brother,” Grey cut in, and in that moment I had never wanted to punch him more. “She has everything to do with this. Things are changing between the two of you, getting more serious than you messing around with some girl you met at a bar. I saw it last night. You care about her.”
“So?” I said, holding up my hands. “Why the fuck does that matter?”
“Because you know how things will turn out. You’ll be forced to make choices where she might get hurt physically or emotionally no matter what you do. We just need to know when you are faced with that choice, you’ll be able to put this mission first, regardless of the outcome.”
“I know the things I have to do to close this case. I know the target, and I will do whatever it takes to bring him down.” I had a silent stare down with the man who was more like a brother to me than a just a friend. “You guys just take care of what is expected of you and leave my job up to me.”
My patience was running very thin, and having everyone within the bureau questioning my dedication was frankly starting to piss me the fuck off.
Chapter 14
Gabriella
I had texted and attempted to call Josh a few times since he left yesterday morning, but I finally gave up. I had to accept that sometimes he would be unable to respond right way.
But when he finally texted back just after eight the following night, my thoughts of being patient flew right out the window.
Josh: Busy, don’t know when I’ll be free.
I knew he was busy, but I had to admit his words stung a little. Instead of spreading my work out over a few days like I normally did, I busted my ass scheduling nonstop showings and closings in a single day. The need to avoid being home was weighing on me. I wouldn’t wait around for him to find time for me.
On the third day after that night of steamy sex, he finally called. I stared at the screen, and after the third
ring, I swiped my finger across it, sending it to voice mail.
“This place is perfect,” Mrs. Germaine said. I tucked my phone into my jacket and looked up to find her walking toward the balcony. “Rodger, look at this gorgeous view. I could see myself enjoying my morning coffee in this very spot.” She trailed her hand along the railing of the balcony that surrounded the sixth-floor condo.
Her husband grinned at her, and I could tell at that moment he would give her just about anything she wanted. His loving gaze left his wife and turned toward me. “Looks like you may have just made a sale.”
Mrs. Germaine clapped her hands in excitement, and I couldn’t control the smile that graced my lips. Her happiness was contagious.
After we completed the paperwork and I called the selling Realtor to make an offer, the Germaine’s insisted on taking me to dinner to celebrate. They were thrilled at having found the place they planned to retire, so who was I to decline their offer? After all, going out with them assured I would arrive home late once again, which was exactly what I wanted.
Yes, I was being ridiculous. Yes, I was avoiding talking to Josh, but I felt discarded by his silence over the last few days, and I refused to let him think I was just sitting at home pining for him.
I didn’t expect to return home to find an irritated-looking Brook at 9:00 p.m. on a Thursday.
She glared at me as I placed my briefcase on a barstool.
“What crawled up your ass and died?” I asked as I walked toward the refrigerator and opened it to grab a bottle of water.
When I turned back around, she pushed off the counter and took a step in my direction. “Your boy toy showed up here looking for you. He refused to go away until I let him in to see for sure you weren’t hiding here to avoid him.” She shrugged, and her brow wrinkled in a frown. “Mind telling me what the hell is going on?”
“There’s nothing to tell,” I said, leaning forward to remove one heel at a time. Flexing my sore feet, I dropped my shoes to the floor.
“Bullshit,” she snapped. “You want to lie to him? Fine. But don’t even try to feed me that line of crap. Something is going on.”
“He spent the night on Sunday. Things happened, he left early, and I haven’t heard from him since. Oh wait, I take that back. I did get one text telling me he basically didn’t have time and didn’t know when he would.” I squared my shoulders because I was a badass and had to maintain that image. “I’m sure as shit not sitting around waiting for him to find time.”
“So instead of facing him, you’re hiding out at work, ignoring his texts and calls, and pretending to be unaffected by his brush-off.”
Well, when she said it like that, it didn’t sound as badass as I thought.
“That’s not the Gabby I know.” She wasn’t going to let this go. “The sister I know would call his ass up and give him an earful. She would come out on top, and he wouldn’t know what hit him. She sure as hell wouldn’t tuck her tail between her legs and hide out.”
“Well maybe I’m—”
A knock sounded at the door.
“And here is your chance,” Brook announced as she rushed past me and walked straight for the door with determination.
My heart raced in my chest, and I contemplated tackling her to the floor but knew I wouldn’t get to her in time. I felt nauseous as she yanked open the door and placed her hand on her hip.
“Did you come to grovel after you pulled a ‘bang her and leave her’ move?” she asked him.
My mouth fell open in shock as Brook continued to give Josh her two cents. I knew I should have kept my mouth shut. Brook was overly dramatic and had the tendency to get pretty mouthy at times.
“Is she here?” Josh asked. From where I was standing, I couldn’t see him behind the still partially closed door.
“Yeah, but I’m just going to say something first. You better have a damn good reason for fucking my sister and then brushing her off with that lame-ass text you sent. That was a real dick move.”
I hung my head and pinched the bridge of my nose. Then, taking in a deep breath, I walked toward the door and nudged her out of the way. “Move over, Killer, I got this.”
She narrowed her eyes at me, and I wrinkled up my nose at her. When she smiled back, I knew her irritation with Josh had faded—that is, until she looked back at him and scowled.
“Don’t consider even for a second that you are off my asshole radar.” She then spun on her heel and marched off toward her room.
My stomach knotted at just the thought of turning around to face Josh, but when he touched my arm, I knew I had to. When I turned to look at him, I instantly noticed his rough appearance. He looked like he hadn’t shaved or slept in days, and his eyes were red.
“Are you okay?” I asked as my anger shifted to guilt.
He hung his head and shook it gently. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I don’t know how to balance this all out.” He lifted his head and our eyes met. “My job is crazy and unpredictable. It’s demanding and at times overwhelming, but for the first time since I joined the FBI, I want something more than I want the job.”
Josh stepped forward and cupped the side of my face. “I want you,” he whispered, and I stared up at him, trying to understand what could possibly be causing him so much turmoil. “When I took this assignment, I didn’t count on meeting you. And meeting you,” he whispered in an angry tone, “changes everything.”
My chest tightened at his words, and he didn’t leave me even a second to respond before his mouth covered mine in a fierce kiss. I gripped his waist and fisted a hand in his shirt for stability, allowing him to take from me what he needed without hesitation. I knew he wasn’t angry at me but at the situation, just as I knew in that moment that much more was going on in his life than I could ever understand.
Chapter 15
Josh
After I showed up at Gabby’s apartment two nights ago, something between us changed. Without giving her too much detail, I managed to let her know the only thing keeping me from being with her all the time was my current case. When I told her I was undercover, she was concerned. The worst thing about the entire night was lying to her that I was safe and would remain that way as long as I protected my identity. Which meant I had to be away from her for days at a time. I just hoped what we were working on building was strong enough to come out on top of this mess.
“He’s here,” Mike announced as he placed a cigarette in his mouth and lit it.
I scrambled to my feet and adjusted the gun at the waistband of my jeans. Pulling my shirt down over it, I popped my neck and took in one last calming breath. It was time to become James Garrison, drug dealer, ex-con, and the asshole who didn’t give a fuck about anyone or anything but his next deal.
Leo entered the warehouse followed by his men, smirking as he approached us. Nodding, he slowly scanned the large space.
“You followed through. That’s good. And it’s secluded and very well protected, just as you promised.” He returned his gaze to me as he held out an envelope. “Here are the details of the shipment. It will arrive at midnight and be brought in no later the twelve fifteen. My men will arrive as well to ensure the safety of my merchandise.”
“My men will also be present,” I said assertively.
“Good.” He dipped his chin in agreement. “And if everything goes smoothly, we celebrate.”
“I guarantee you will be pleased with just how smooth things will be handled.” I did not falter as he continued to stare at me.
“We will see,” he added before turning his back to me and walking toward the exit. “I have three very eager young ladies that are looking forward to the company of you and your men,” he said with his back still to me. “Less than two weeks, James,” he added as he pushed through the steel door.
When he and his men disappeared, my body relaxed immediately. His presence was getting hard to tolerate. All I truly wanted to do was place my gun between his eyes and pull the trigger. The piece of shit deserved d
eath, nothing more.
When Trevor assured us Leo and his men were gone, we began working on the next step of our plan.
***
Frank had a tail on Leo, looking for any lead on Roman’s whereabouts, so I could relax for a week and a half while we got ready for the deal with Leo to go down. I had every intention of taking full advantage of that time. When I left the warehouse last night, I immediately called Gabby and made plans to see her. I was going to invite her over for dinner, and I wasn’t planning to allow her to leave. I hadn’t given her that detail yet, but I would do whatever it took to convince her to submit to my plans.
At a few minutes past five, the buzzer sounded, indicating her arrival. I placed the last dish on the table and went to the door. She had her hand lifted as if she was about to knock when I jerked open the door and pulled her into my arms.
“Hello, beautiful,” I said just before giving her a sweet, welcoming kiss.
“Mm,” she moaned as I pulled back just enough to look down at her. “Hello,” she cooed as she brushed her thumb over my lower lip, attempting to wipe away the lipstick I was sure had transferred to my mouth from hers.
“What? Not my color?” I asked, cocking my eyebrow.
She smiled before wrinkling her nose. “It does nothing for your complexion,” she teased.
I backed myself into my apartment, pulling her along with me.
“Something smells amazing,” she said.
I dipped my head down and buried my nose against her neck. “Yes, I agree.” I kissed her neck, nipping at the tender skin, and she shivered against me.
“You’re in a good mood,” she said, and I couldn’t have agreed more. I felt lighter than I had in weeks. Everything had been so fucked up lately, but having her with me tonight felt right.
